A/N: Hey... um, sorry? Am I usually this late? I don't know anymore!

Anyway, thank you for reading this - we've gotten far into this story and the support is fantabulous (which is a word, I'm pretty sure it is). I know this doesn't have essential plot information but I was writing it and my sister really liked it and she thought it was cute... I wanted there to be more on the dynamics of Lily and James' relationship - which is what the story is about after all. So enjoy, relax and have a wonderful evening (or morning depending on where you are).

Only a year to go...

(Oh and thank you, BeanerWeasley. I greatly appreciate you! And Alyia and ElsaElphieGinny and all of you... I'd hug you if I could but that might be weird and uncomfortable...)

JAMES' P.O.V

NOVEMBER 1980

POTTER'S COTTAGE

"Where are you going?" I ask, seeing Lily walk into the living room in her winter robes and heavy boots.

"To Cokeworth, why?"

"Are you going alone?"

"Yes."

"Lily… you know that's not safe."

She sighs and runs her hand through her hair in frustration.

"I hate it when they just stand there awkwardly and try to comfort me… and it's something that's so personal… I hate having them watch me, judge me, pity me. It's so intrusive. It doesn't matter so much when it's Padfoot or Al or Remus but when it's someone from the Order or one of your Quidditch mates…"

"I know –"

"You don't know! You've never come with me! You don't have to have someone follow you around when you visit the graves of your parents. I go with you when you want me to; sometimes I go without you and leave flowers on their graves."

"I never asked you to do that! You're being completely unreasonable."

"Am I? Why do I need to be accompanied?"

"Because of him - I know he goes there, lurks in the shadows, watches. I don't like it, Lily."

"I can handle him."

"Like you handled him in seventh year?"

"That was before I realised what he was like," Lily says, anger creeping into her tone.

"No, that was before you stopped making excuses for him."

"That doesn't matter anymore. I see him for what he is and if you can't comprehend that then you're the one who's having trouble handling things."

I start to feel myself fill up with oh so familiar rage. The kind of emotion that urged me to hex first years, give Lily a hard time…

"You can't go, Harry needs someone to look after him, and I've got to go out."

"Where are you going?" she narrows her eyes at me.

"Does it matter?"

"I'll ask Sirius or Remus –"

"They're both in Wales, so are Alice, Mar and Wormtail."

"I'll ask Al (Longbottom). I'm sure she and Frank won't mind."

"Lily…"

"What is your problem?"

"Don't go by yourself."

"I told you, I can handle him."

"That's what you said in sixth and seventh year and look how that turned out."

"James, please try to understand –"

"What's to understand? He tortured you! You're choosing to go alone to a place where you know he'll be."

"He won't talk to me, I don't talk to him."

"Oh please –"

"Why are you so jealous? You know what I think about him."

"So? He was close to you even when you knew he was in with the Death Eaters, he was your first kiss –"

"Oh for fuck's sake! You have no idea what it's like for me. I have nightmares every night about it - I see him killing you, killing Harry, killing all my friends and killing me last. Don't forget he tortured me and not you, so don't make this about you. This is a stupid conversation anyway, I love you, you idiot."

"Then why –"

"Because I love my parents more than I hate him."

"I-"

"Why don't you ever come with me?

"I – I didn't think you'd need me."

"I always need you."

"I still think he's evil."

"James… come on. It's ridiculous to divide people into good and bad, people are either charming or tedious."

"I love it when you quote Oscar Wilde to me."

"And I love you."

"I love me too."

"James…"

"I love you, Lily, now and forever."

CHRISTMAS EVE 1980

POTTER'S COTTAGE

"Merry Christmas!" Marlene beams as she steps inside – we went all out this year, the decorations are slightly (by that I mean extremely) excessive.

We walk into the living room, our huge Christmas tree standing proudly in one corner. James, Sirius and I spent hours decorating it, with Harry watching. With a flick of her wand, Marlene conjures a small pile of presents appear under the tree.

"I got one for Harry," she says, "I hope he likes it."

"I'm sure it's better than that," I point to the vase-shaped present under the tree, "it's from Petunia and she has terrible taste."

Marlene laughs.

"Hey," Al comes over, Neville in her arms, "we're probably going to have to go now, Lil. It being Neville's first Christmas, Augusta wants to spend it with us."

"No worries, it was lovely to have you here. We'll always have next Christmas, right?"

"Yes, next Christmas," Al promises, she walks over to Harry and kisses him on the cheek before waving goodbye.

"Hey Lily-flower," Sirius calls from the kitchen, coming out into the living room in his reindeer headband and Christmas jumper, "I've got the mince pies but there seemed to be a problem with…"

He trails off as he looks at Marlene, she averts her eyes.

"Marlene…"

"Sirius," she says curtly.

"You… you look great."

"Thanks."

"How have you been?"

"Not as good as you apparently."

"Right, right…"

"Not that we don't all love the awkward conversation that is happening here, but how about we admire this bundle of cuteness?" James holds up Harry before Sirius takes him in his arms and he and Remus make very strange noises at him. I swear babies bring out all the weirdness in people.

"He looks just like his father," I say, looking at James warmly.

"But he has his mother's eyes," James says, staring straight at me.

It reminds me of those moments at Hogwarts, the warm winter nights by the fire, laughing and talking for hours on end and him just staring at me the whole time, never for a second taking his eyes off of me. I miss those times, he and I are rarely alone nowadays, what with Harry screaming and crying all the time. Even though having him on top of the war is stressful and difficult sometimes, I wouldn't have it any other way. I love him too much to regret anything.

"Oh for the love of Merlin," Mar sighs, "I thought we'd gotten past the lovey-dovey romantic staring contest stage."

"Never," James says softly, taking my hand and pulling me closer, "if we lived a million years, I could never tire of looking at you."

"For crying out loud, we get it, you two love each other and it's beautiful but please, this is so sickeningly sweet, I may just throw up," a familiar voice that almost stops me in my tracks sounds behind me.

"Alice..?" I turn around to see Alice – Alice Smith- standing in the doorway.

Her hair is tangled, her cheeks are pink, she's shivering and she looks ill but it's her. It's my Alice. I run at her and hug her tightly, my head pounding. Where has she been? What has she been doing? How can she leave without explaining herself?

"Jeez, Lils, I'm pleased to see you too."

"What time do you call this?" Mar asks, looking like ice but angry at the same time.

"Sorry," she says sheepishly, looking down but smiling.

"You were gone for weeks without so much as an explanation, just after you fucked my ex-boyfriend, humiliated me in front of my family, lied to me and you think you can just turn up and say 'sorry'?"

"Mar –"

"No, don't even bother. I'm done. I'm fucking done. I can't believe – I was your best friend for so many years, we were so close, we were sisters. I was there for you, all the time, I came running after you every time you were upset, apologised even when I didn't think I should have, I stuck up for you no matter what, supported you, comforted you… and you do this? It's bad enough him being here," she gestures wildly at Sirius, "but you? You've got some bloody nerve after what you said to Remus. I thought you were better than that, Remus never hurt you, never hurt any of us and he never will. Frankly, Alice Smith, I'm ashamed to have ever called you my friend."

"What do you want me to say?" Alice explodes, "you don't know what's going on with me –"

"Because you disappear and never tell us anything. You could have been dead for all Lil and I knew."

"Why didn't you come after me?"

"Oh I did, Remus was tracking you, making sure that you were safe the whole time and Lily's got a new-born child not that you would know –"

"I didn't mean to hurt you and I'm sorry –"

"Forget it, I'm over it, I don't give a shit anymore about you screwing Sirius. You're apologising to the wrong person."

Marlene storms off into the kitchen.

"I'm –"

Marlene comes storming back out of the kitchen.

"Oh and I know you've been hooking up with Wormtail – how does he feel about being cheated on?"

She storms back into the kitchen, screaming and crying, I stare after her, Sirius follows her. I wonder how that will go down. The doorbell rings – guests are arriving. James goes to answer it; Remus, Alice and I are left in the living room. Oh what a night this will be.

"Remus –" Alice says softly.

Remus turns around and goes to greet Emmeline and Dorcas, without a backward glance. I've never seen him be so cold before. She turns to me, her eyes filled with tears.

"Lily…"

"Go home, Alice," I say, shaking my head before going into the kitchen to find Marlene.

That was the last time I ever saw Alice Smith.

JAMES' P.O.V

LATER ON IN THE EVENING

"… that wasn't even the worst of it! Oh it was hilarious. So he's got this green hat on, right, and he has this shamrock on his hat and we're in Bulgaria and you know there's some tension in Bulgaria with Ireland but he was too pissed to know that… the looks he got and the beers he had thrown at him… I swear… funniest thing that happened was when this group of lads were walking…"

Remus, who is more pissed than Sirius (which is possible), is telling a story about when the two of them were in Bulgaria and met these shapeshifters and then got lost and slept in a ditch. It was a highly entertaining story the first time I heard it, it was amusing when I was so drunk I couldn't remember my name but now, it's not so funny. Not when you've heard the same story a thousand times.

It's almost midnight, people are leaving steadily so it's quieter. I spy Lily at the back of the party, a glass of wine in her hand, looking sad and tired. Harry's gone to bed; he's been sound asleep for a few hours now. I wander over to her.

"Well hello there beautiful, can I get you a drink?"

"I have one thanks," she says, lifting her wine glass.

"How's Marlene?"

"Angry, upset and very, very drunk."

"Ah, alcohol. It makes everything seem so much better."

"I caught her having a moment with Sirius."

"What's going on between those two?"

"Who knows? He doesn't love her anymore, she doesn't love him… they've both made that perfectly clear but they were engaging in drunk and passionate kisses which they probably won't remember tomorrow."

"That's Marlene's way of handling things – with physical relationships. It used to be mine too, for a while."

"What happened?"

"I fell for you… then there was only one kiss I wanted – yours."

"That's so cheesy," she snorts, setting down her glass.

"It got you listening."

"I listen to everything you say."

"Right, that doesn't sound creepy at all."

"Someone remembers our conversations from Hogwarts."

"You're hard to forget."

"So I'm told."

"Do you remember this?" I ask, setting down my own glass and kissing her.

She kisses me back and I can taste the mince pie on her breath. I've missed this.

"It's hard to forget," she says, breathless, "feeling like you're on top of the world."

"It is," I agree, kissing her again, a lot more fervently this time.

"I never thanked you," she says, running her hand through my hair.

"For what?"

"For everything," she says simply, "you changed my life."

"I never meant to."

"I'm happy you did."

"So am I."

"I wish I'd been nicer to you in Hogwarts."

"I don't."

"Why?"

"I needed someone to deflate my head – better you than a Death Eater."

"I hope this war is over soon, I don't want Harry to grow up in a world like this."

"Nor do I."

"He's going to be amazing, isn't he?"

"A child of yours? He's going to be spectacular."

"The spectacular is all down to you, James."

"I beg to differ."

"Isn't it funny? If you'd told me, at eleven years old, that I'd end up with that prat Gryffindor Boy –"

"Gryffindor Boy?"

"That's what I called you," she says, blushing, "before I knew your name."

"Gryffindor Boy… I like it."

"Really?"

"Absolutely."

"Did you have a name for me before you knew what it really was?"

"Well… Ginger probably doesn't count…"

"Okay, okay, what was your first impression of me?"

"Honestly? Uptight, bossy, pretentious –"

"You didn't know what pretentious was when you were eleven!" she protests.

"- strong, scary and pretty… and after all this time, it's only the last three that have stuck."

"When I first met you, I thought you were arrogant, a bully, stupid and brave… however much I hated you when I was eleven, I did in some way, grudgingly respect you."

"I can't believe that –"

"Well you should. You know, I'm glad I gave you a chance."

"I'm glad you did too."

"What house do you think Harry will be in?"

"I don't care."

"I bet you can't remember what they are. I can smell that alcohol a mile off."

"Of course I can! Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Slytherin and… Jigglypuff."

Lily giggles and before I know it, we're kissing again, underneath the mistletoe. This is how Christmas Eve should be. No fighting, no shouting, no anger… just love. We're going to be okay, Lily and I. It's a long way ahead but there's no one else I want to grow old with. She's my Lily, my soul mate and even though we've got a long way to go and we've gone through so much, when we have moments like these – it makes it all worth it.