The silence was thick around us as the train traveled over the country lands between cities. I had my leg pulled to my chest, an arm wrapped around it and my forehead resting on my knee. I looked out the window, avoiding my two companions' eyes. I had told them everything that happened and all that Shou Tucker had told me, and the memories were like brands behind my eyes, almost physically painful. Reliving the experience made me feel vulnerable and raw, and I hated it.
Edward sat in front of me, his face turned downward and his golden eyes flickering back and forth rapidly, as if doing swift calculations. He clutched his hands in his lap and he had not moved since I had begun speaking. Similarly, Alphonse was just as unreadable, the large suit of armor seeming to stare off into space. I desperately wanted to brush my hand against him to see what he was feeling, but I was also afraid of what I would find. So I sat and waited for the brothers to speak, tension building in my body as every second passed slowly by.
"Was Tucker right?" I asked eventually, tired of the silence.
Edward did not respond, but Alphonse seemed to snap out of his contemplations and focus on me. "It's hard to say," he said calmly, assuming the voice he would always use when he tried to explain concepts to me. "The transmutation circle is just a tool; equations to identify, disassemble, and redirect energy to reassemble. In order to create something with a form, after understanding a certain composition an Alchemist must be able to visualize the form they are creating, otherwise the transmutation will fail. Circles can be used to a certain extent, such as if I wanted to create a block of ice out of a tub of water. In that case, visualization is not strictly necessary, since I basically want to convert a raw element. However, if I wanted to make that block of ice into an ice swan, I would have to visualize my intent, or I would just end up with another pile of ice."
"Ok, I think I understand," I said slowly. "It's just like an artist creating a sculpture out of copper. He starts with the equation of pure copper and heat, but if he doesn't know what he is going to create, he'll always just have a pile of copper."
"Right," Alphonse continued. "This process is called 'visualization', or 'Soul's Directive', as Tucker called it. Most run-of-the-mill Alchemists are incapable of doing it, just preferring to use Alchemy to convert raw substances such as ice, wind, or fire. In most theories, the visualization stage happens during the understanding stage. You have to hold the image of what you want in your head throughout the entire transmutation, or it may end up being the shapeless materials you were converting."
"Ok…so when Tucker said that Ed's 'Soul's Directive' changed…"
"He probably means that sometime during the deconstruction phase when I disappeared, Ed lost concentration on our mother and instead focused entirely on me."
I furrowed my brow. "That doesn't really make sense though. If he was focusing on you, shouldn't your soul have been taken immediately into the new body instead of mine?"
"Not necessarily," Ed finally spoke up, although he still stared intently at his hands. "What Tucker said might be a good theory on what happened. Alphonse's soul might not have disappeared completely in time to attach to the new body."
"So does that mean," I said slowly, "that if you had kept your concentration, you really would have recalled Trisha's soul and Al would have just disappeared?"
Ed shook his head. "No. I truly believe now that death is permanent. She's never coming back." He paused thoughtfully. "There is a lot of this that we still don't know. Like; if you are the thing we created, how is it that you look like Alphonse three days after the transmutation? And where did your soul come from? What really happened to Alphonse's body? It seems like the more we learn, the farther we get away from what actually happened."
My head thunked back against the hard train bench and I let out a heavy sigh, my thoughts whirling. I was almost sorry I brought this up, seeing as it only created more questions than it answered.
"Brother," Alphonse spoke up, "if we say this theory is correct, and that Alex is the result of the transmutation, then how does that explain our strange link? We thought it was because my soul was attracted to my original body, but if Alex isn't actually in my body…"
"AAaaaah," Ed suddenly yelled, scrubbing at his head in irritation, "I don't know! There are just too many variables that we don't know right now!"
A heavy silence fell over all of us as we each sank into our own thoughts. There were so many things I wanted to know, but Edward was right. We just didn't have enough information to go on right now. Still, there was one thing that sat in the forefront of my mind, weighing down my thoughts with a dark shadow. Was I even human?
"Leaving that aside," Alphonse said, breaking the tense silence, "you mentioned that you were rescued by a mysterious woman," he prompted.
"…Right," I mumbled, pushing aside my other thoughts for the moment. I tried to remember the details of that encounter, but it was difficult. I had been so distraught and in so much pain at the time that it was like trying to see the memory through intense tunnel vision. "She was tall and pale as the moon, and very beautiful," I recalled. Oddly enough, the image of her face was burned into my mind like a brand, though I couldn't remember much else. "She spoke, but I honestly don't remember what was said. She pulled the knife out of my hand, and I ran at the first opportunity."
"Why would she help you though, or even know you were in danger," Ed asked, eyes narrowed. I shrugged. I really didn't have any answers in that regard.
"She might have been watching Tucker. Might have been watching me. Who knows? For right now, I don't think she's our enemy, at the very least."
"Maybe," Al said, "She did save you after all."
"I don't like it," Ed said, staring out the window with his arms crossed. "I don't believe in random chance. She was there for a reason. No one ever does something for nothing. Just…be careful, alright?"
I nodded in agreement, although I wasn't even sure I would ever see her again. We fell back into silence as the countryside flew swiftly by.
o-0-o
It took us three days to get to Lior. Well, it would have taken a few hours less if someone hadn't chased off the cab driver for calling him short. The stretch between Youswell and Lior changed drastically in our first day of travel, going from rolling plains to a scorching desert in the span of six hours. The train actually stopped about half way there, and it was explained to us that they could not build tracks in the shifting sands, and thus would have to take a taxi the rest of the way. Which would have been fine if a certain blond didn't have the temper of a five year old. I wondered how much of that was Edward's personality and how much he had picked up from Izumi. I shuddered at the thought.
Which leads us to my current predicament. "It's so hoooooot." I complained for the sixth time. We had been walking in the desert heat for half an hour, and I was already completely tired from trudging through the deep sands. Oh, this was the epitome of discomfort. I had sand in my shoes rubbing my feet raw, I was sweating like a pig in the intense heat, and I was pretty sure we had run out of water an hour ago.
"Shadup!" Ed griped in front of me, looking if possible even more uncomfortable as I was. "At least you aren't half made out of metal! Do you have any idea how hot this stuff gets?" Ed slumped his shoulders dramatically, and I patted him in sympathy. He had a fair point. Because of his automail, he had to stay completely covered in this heat, whereas I had taken off my jacket and put it over my head for shade immediately upon entering the desert. I was careful not to let my exposed shoulders get too much sun, but if we had to stay in this desert for much longer, I would have some serious sunburns to deal with.
"Look, there it is," Al exclaimed from a few paces behind us, pointing in the direction we were walking. Ed and I squinted through the heat waves and over the dunes. Vaguely, we could make out a tall white building in the distance. I smiled in elation. We were almost there!
"Finally," Ed shouted, suddenly running forward with a burst of energy. It still took us another half hour to reach the city, but soon enough the soft sand below us turned to sturdy cobble stone and narrow streets. We gratefully moved under the shaded walkways of Lior.
Unlike Central, the streets in Lior were not built for cars or buggies, but were narrow for foot traffic and carts. Every building had at least three stories, and from what I could tell from my vantage point, the higher floors were for living quarters, while the first floors held shops and restaurants. The architecture was different from Central as well. It was simpler, save for a massive building in the center of the centrally planned city, which looked like a giant church and loomed over all other buildings.
The farther in we walked, I began to notice that on every other street corner, there was a statue of a man holding a staff with an illuminating sun on the top. If I had to guess, it would be a messiah or saint of some sort. A clearly religious society, then.
We finally stopped at a small café, which jutted out into the street on the edge of a plaza. Gratefully, I sat to relieve my aching feet and rested my head on the stone counter. It was cool and soothed my heated and no doubt sunburnt face.
"Hello there, nice to see some new faces," an old man, the shopkeeper, stepped up to the counter and greeted us with a big smile underneath an impressive mustache. "What can I get you folks?"
"Cold water and whatever you have for a special today, please," I said, not even lifting my head from the cold counter top.
"You've got it. What about you, son?"
"Three glasses of ice water and whatever he's having," Ed grunted, lifting his heavy coat off his shoulders now that we were finally in the shade. The man gave Ed an odd look, but brought him the glasses he requested. Immediately, Edward grabbed the closest glass of water and poured it over his automail arm, then sighed in relief as steam drifted off the metal appendage and cooled it down. He did the same with his leg, before taking the last glass and guzzling it down greedily. The shopkeeper looked on curiously, but did not comment, merely bringing us our food, which turned out to be a simple bread roll and assorted cheeses and fruits.
As we ate, people began gathering around the booth. I looked around, slightly nervous, before realizing that none of them were really paying any attention to us.
"Time for a little soul food," the old man said, lifting his hand and flipping a switch above the counter where an old radio sat. Soothing notes drifted out of the radio, sounding vaguely like elevator music. I looked around as it echoed strangely, and I realized that every building along the street had similar radios or speakers that played the same channel.
A voice began speaking from the radios. "Children of God upon the earth, as sun lights the day, so does the Sun God Leto illuminate thy path, and drown thy sorrows…" a man said, his voice soothing and hypnotic. The rhetoric continued, and Ed looked a bit disgusted.
"Well, that's freakish," Ed said, turning back to his drink.
"Sounds like some kind of religious broadcast," Al said, turning back as well.
"What," the shopkeeper exclaimed, offended. "Your buddy wears a suit of armor and you wear a coat and gloves in the desert and you call us freaks? What up with you guys anyway, you street performers or something?"
Ed spat out the water he was drinking and looked at the man in disbelief. "I don't think so, pops, do I look like a clown to you," he said angrily. I snorted into my drink, amused, and Ed sent me a glare.
"Well you must have some reason for traveling out this far."
"We're just looking for something, that's all," Ed said, sipping his drink lazily.
"So who is this guy, anyway," I asked, looking over my shoulder. Every person in my view was still, hands folded and heads bowed as the speaker projected the sermon.
The shopkeeper leaned forward and placed his hands on the counter in disbelief. "You mean you've never heard of the Great Prophet Cornello?"
"Erm, no…" I said, leaning back slightly.
"What's so great about him, anyway," Ed said. He instantly regretted asking as a crowd of people suddenly gathered around and began singing the man praises. Edward shifted uncomfortably as one man got into his personal space.
"He can perform miracles, for one thing," the man said.
"He brought this desert town back from the brink of famine," another piped in.
"And he can even forgive sins!"
"You know what," Edward interrupted the zealous shouting, "we just remembered we have to be somewhere. You ready to go guys?" He stood and looked over to us with a long-suffering expression.
I looked down regretfully at my unfinished food and sighed, standing up. I agreed that we should leave though. I had never been comfortable around people with such strong beliefs in a God. You just never knew what would happen if you got into a difference of opinion in such a crowd, and just like Edward, I had no desire to find out.
"Excuse me sir," I said, as my brothers started to fight through the throng. The shopkeeper looked up. "Do you have any idea where a few weary travelers can stay for the night?"
"Hm…well, if you are short on funds, you can stay at the church." He grinned widely. "Our church has a large pilgrim's quarters for travelers such as yourself."
"Is that right…" I said a little doubtfully. "What do we have to do in order to be allowed to stay there?"
"Nothing, nothing," the man said, "you just have to pay your respects to the God Leto with a small offering. It could be anything from fixing a part of the church or providing food for a service."
Well, that doesn't sound too hard, I thought to myself. With Alchemy, we could do pretty much anything as payment. I gave the man a grateful smile and paid for our food before catching up with Ed and Al.
"Wait, guys," I shouted. They were still a ways ahead of me. They looked back and Ed tapped his foot impatiently.
I was within a few yards of them when something caught my attention from the corner of my eye. I paused and looked around at the people milling about the street, trying to see through the crowd what had piqued my interest. There was a woman walking away from us, her hood pulled low over her face. Waving black hair peaked out of the hood in the breeze, and my mind sparked in recognition. It couldn't be…
"Alex," Ed said irritably, "what's the hold up?"
…Nah, probably not. I shook my head and walked the rest of the way to the two boys. "I think I've found us some lodgings for the night."
"Really, where," Al said, tilting his head.
"There's a pilgrim's quarters at the church in town. That old man said we could stay there for free, as long as we fixed something in the church."
"Fixed something, huh? Well that sounds pretty easy. Let's go," Ed said, spinning around and walking towards the large building at the center of town, eager to be out of the desert heat and to find some rest.
o-0-o
The church really was massive, standing at least twenty stories higher than the other buildings in the city. The white monolith was the tallest building I had seen since coming to Amestris. Spires jutted out gracefully from the main body of the church, and arches decorated every doorway with carved images of their idol. At the grand double doors a man in black robes greeted us, and when we explained why we were there, he led us through a long hallway of white painted walls and several doors. At the end, he directed us to a plain wooden door with a promise to return when the next morning's ceremonies began.
Edward grimaced in distaste at that, tempted to tell him not to bother, no doubt. The room we were appointed was simple, only holding four beds and storage trunks at the end. Evening light filtered into the room from a small window at the far side, giving everything a golden glow.
"Ugh," Ed groaned, flopping back on the closest bed and dumping his coat and travel bag on the floor. "Finally! I'm exhausted."
Alphonse sighed and picked up Edward's mess off the floor and placed it on top of the trunk at the foot of his bed. "Try not to trash the place, Brother, we don't want to get thrown out."
"You're such a clean freak, Al," I chuckled, placing my own bag at the foot of the bed next to Edward's.
"I am not!" Al crossed his arms with a clank. "I just like things to be tidy, that's all."
"Shaddup, you two, I need to sleep!"
"It's only, like, seven, Ed. What are you, an old man?"
"It's hot…the desert…sleepy," Ed mumbled, nodding off even as he spoke.
"Heh, he's already asleep," Al said, giggling slightly. I snorted in amusement and began unwrapping my hand. I grimaced in disgust as the sweat soaked bands came off and inspected my wound. It was healing nicely. The cut was knitting together, even though my palm was a bit pruned from sweat. I was able to move it a bit more now, although it still might be a while before I would be able to use it fully again.
"I think you might be able to remove the stitches now," Al said, coming to my side. I nodded in agreement. They were coming loose in any case, and it looked like as long as I didn't put my hand through too much stress, the scar tissue would hold without assistance.
"Do you want me to do it," Al asked, sounding a little nervous.
I smiled at him, "No that's alright. I think I'll go ask around and see if there is a doctor anywhere near here. If there is, I'll see if I can see him in the morning."
"Ok," Al said, relieved.
I grabbed my jacket and headed for the door. "I'll be back in a little while. Do you mind washing my wrap for me?"
"Sure."
o-0-o
I walked down the white halls of the church, wandering. Night was falling, and the only light illuminating the hallways was smokeless torches. I wondered idly why a society that clearly had electricity would still be using those, but then I figured that this building might have been around way before that technology was invented. Or maybe they just liked them. Who knew?
The halls were empty and silent, and I hoped that not everyone had gone home for the night. Eventually, I came upon a small grotto that was emitting the soft light of candles. I walked inside to find a quaint little chapel, an idol sitting at the back with stained glass windows behind it. The pews were empty, though it was clear that someone had been there recently because of the burning candles. I turned around to leave, thinking that I might catch up to whoever it was, when I stopped short.
"Well, hello there. Long time no see." A tall woman stood in the entrance to the small chapel, her long black hair and eyes gleaming softly in the candlelight.
"It's you," I said, startled. I thought I had seen her in town earlier. It was the woman who had saved Nina and me from Tucker. "What are you doing here?"
She smiled slightly with her painted red lips and I had to momentarily fight back memories of the night I met her, the sudden influx of images catching me off guard. "I'm here on business," she said in her sultry way. She stepped forward into the room, and I took a step back. She paused. "Now don't be like that, I'm not going to bite you."
"Come on, you know you want to," I joked, trying to ease my nervousness. I didn't know why I was feeling so on edge when this woman had never given me any reason to fear her. She had killed Shou Tucker in cold blood, yes, but in doing so, she saved my life.
The seductress covered her mouth and gave a charming giggle at my words, and I felt my tension ease slightly. I smiled. "I want to thank you for saving me the last time we met," I said. The woman bowed slightly in recognition of my gratitude. "Just one thing, though. How did you know I was in trouble?"
She gave me a shrewd look, seeming to contemplate whether she should answer my question. Eventually she spoke. "I had been watching Tucker for months. He had the potential to create something I'm interested in, but he veered from the path by trying to make you into a chimera. I came in as soon as I realized what was happening."
I furrowed my brow. "The potential to create something…?"
She shook her head and looked down. "I have found someone more suitable since then." The woman looked at my left side and frowned, her brow crinkling in concern. "You are still hurt."
I lifted my hand and glanced at my wound, distracted by her change in subject. I had forgotten that it was no longer wrapped, and the night air felt cold over my usually covered appendage. "Oh…yeah, it should still take a while for it to heal…"
"Would you like me to heal it for you?"
My head jerked up in surprise. "You can do that?"
She smiled sweetly. "Yes, and I can even remove the scar, if you'd like." My first thought was that it was totally ridiculous. Healing powers? But really, who was I to judge what was and wasn't possible, when I was literally a soul in a body created by magic. While I contemplated this, the woman moved slowly forward. I jerked back half a step, caught off guard when she got close to me. She lifted a small pouch from her cloak and dumped the contents into her hand.
"What's that," I asked suspiciously. It looked like a pile of small rubies, shining softly in the flickering light.
"It's a product of Alchemy that can energize and heal the wounds of certain people," the woman said, looking at the small lumps fondly. "If you eat some of them, I'm sure your wound will be healed."
"Erm…my older brother told me never to take candy from strangers," I quipped, raising my eyebrow. Did she really expect me to eat them just like that?
She giggled, "Don't worry, it's perfectly safe. Here look." With her other hand, the tall woman cut a small incision with her nail, drawing a bead of blood. She then took one of the small ruby-like pieces and popped it in her mouth. A few seconds later, the wound emitted red sparks and closed right before my disbelieving eyes.
"Incredible," I breathed. "And there are no ill effects?"
"No, it is merely an energy source that accelerates the healing process in certain people. Try one?" She extended her hand, and I cautiously took a small lump from her. It was cool to the touch, and felt like a bead of glass. I looked between her and the red bead, considering. This woman had saved my life, and didn't seem to mean me any harm. She had even eaten one in front of me. I glanced down at my hand, taking in the nasty roped scar that was forming in place of the wound. Letting it heal on it's own would take months, and even then, it might not ever work the same.
I nodded my head, and brought the ruby bead to my lips.
There you go. An in depth(?) explanation of Soul's Directive. I hope that makes sense to everyone. Thanks to Helios who gave me advice on my theory!
OH NO! Alex, you KNOW better than to put random things in your mouth! Bad! Spit it out right now! Or I'll make Ed spank you...pft...
Thanks everyone who reviewed/followed/favorited! I love you all more than I love ramen noodles! Which is a lot. Next Time: Where's Alex? And does the philosopher's stone finally make an appearance in this story? See you then!