A/N: Hello! Thank you so so so much for all your support I love you all! I know this chapter's kind of a filler but as this is the 60th chapter, I made it longer! You're welcome (and I apologise if a longer chapter is the precise opposite of what you wanted).

So I hope you enjoy it and have a lovely day!

LILY'S P.O.V

GODRIC'S HOLLOW

POTTER'S COTTAGE

I walk in the door and recast the wards. Sirius shrugs off his leather jacket and marches into the living room. Someone flies out of the room and almost knocks me over – they're squeezing me so tightly. I look up and see that it's James. He pulls back and kisses me fervidly, all over my face before resting on my lips – I reciprocate, my arms winding around him, our bodies intertwined and my heart racing and blood pumping – the love and the passion I feel is inexorable but the moment is short-lived.

"Ahem," I hear a semi-annoyed voice behind me – one that I recognise.

James breaks the kiss and steps away as Remus comes forward and hugs me with apparent urgency.

"Wow, you all seem pleased to see me… where's everyone else?"

Remus glances at Moody and Moody sighs. Harry appears in the door way, looking absolutely exhausted. I hold my arms out and cuddle him.

"They all got to the Portkey but we think there were Death Eaters tracking them –"

"You mean you don't know?"

"Well, no –"

"Is anyone out there looking for them?" I demand.

"No –"

"Do we have any leads?" I ask, already pulling on my jacket.

"Mrs Potter, I simply cannot allow you to go back out there –"

"My friends are missing –"

"They are extremely skilled wizards and witches. I assure you; wherever they are they are more than capable of handling their situation."

"That may be so –"

"I know it's hard but you'll be more useful here. You just completed a dangerous mission and your husband and son need you. What good will you gallivanting off looking for them do?"

I stare at him levelly and with slight hostility. I look at James and Harry who, despite looking on the verge of collapse from fatigue, still manage to look stubborn and strong.

"I assure you Alastor, my husband and son are more than capable of handling their situation. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to work on something useful."

I head upstairs, jacket still on and run through all the tracking charms I know in my head. I can hear footsteps behind me. I turn into mine and James' room and summon my Potions equipment. I see that the Marauders minus Peter are in the room also.

"Someone's got their knickers in a twist," Padfoot says, leaning on the wall.

"Oh shut up – get chopping those will you?"

"I don't think Moody meant to be patronising –" Remus says.

"Regardless of whether he meant to or not, he was."

"I know. We were really worried about you Lily."

"You shouldn't have been."

"Regardless of whether we should have been or not, we were," Remus says smirking.

"For fuck's sake, can you please try to focus? I'm trying to find Al, Frank, Dorcas and Mar and you're not helping by making shrewd comments like that."

"You really are in a bad mood," Padfoot mutters.

We work in silence for half an hour until Remus gets a result.

"I'm going to send a Patronus."

"Isn't that a little risky?"

"Well obviously."

As it turns out, they're all fine. Al and Frank got home safely, Dorcas is at her flat and Mar is with her family. None of them ran into Death Eaters.

"Feel better now?" Remus asks.

"Yes, a lot better."

18TH JULY 1981 (FULL MOON WAS YESTERDAY)

POTTER'S COTTAGE

The days have been going by slowly. James, Sirius, Frank, Sturgis, Rubeus, Dorcas, Gideon, Fabian, Hestia and Edgar left three days ago on an Order mission. James is coming back in a few more days – he says he'll definitely be here for Harry's birthday and I know that Frank is going to come back for Neville's birthday but the others will be gone for quite a while. I think Sirius wants to do some stuff away from home – he's going through a difficult time right now, we all are but Sirius in particular wants his solitude.

The anniversary of my parents' deaths is in a few days.

I feel like everything's building up on top of me, threatening to smother me. I've been busy, busy running around after other people, trying to keep a smile on my face, trying to stay alive, looking after Harry – I just feel so detached from everything.

I know that something is stirring and that something is about to happen – I just don't know what. The Death Eaters can't infiltrate the Ministry – it's holding up much stronger than we all thought, which is good. However, there have been murmurings that the Death Eaters are going to be attacking the larger wizarding families that are on our side – which is clearly great cause for concern. The McKinnons are going into hiding; the Bones family refuse to hide but are definitely being more subtle and low-key about their involvement in the Order.

We're fighting hard against the invasion of Voldemort's allies into Britain – giants, werewolves and other dark creatures. Whilst the Ministry is still holding up, it's fragile and weak – we're trying to keep everything from Muggles but they're being attacked too. There are only so many giant attacks you can conceal and try to explain by way of earthquakes and floods. Muggles are losing their lives in hundreds and our attempts to keep our war and our world hidden from them are more and more flimsy and futile. I'm starting to think there's no point in trying to hide it anymore. How can you hide something as a big as this? You can't. Not when the people you're trying to hide it from are part of it. The Muggle prime minister knows but what good is that? How can Muggles possibly stand against the Death Eaters? They can't. They outnumber us more than ten to one and if we're barely holding our ground, then the Muggles have no chance.

I'm on the sofa downstairs curled up with Harry sleeping next to me – we fell asleep whilst reading Rudyard Kipling's Just So Stories. Harry likes the one about the alphabet.

It's about four or five in the morning – the sun is rising. I love watching the sunrise. It's something James and I like to do together. I wonder if he's watching it wherever he is. I hope he's safe, I hope they're all safe.

I hear a quiet knocking at the door – barely audible. Carefully untangling myself from the mess of pillows and blankets, I walk cautiously to the door. The wooden floorboards are cold beneath my feet. Using a revealing charm, I see that Remus is on the other side of the door. I open the door quickly to find him with his clothes in ruin and looking like hell.

"Remus?"

He looks up at me and I can see the exhaustion in his eyes. Of course, the full moon was only a few hours ago and the Marauders are all away… I help him in and settle him on the sofa next to the fire. I fetch some blankets and some tea before sitting next to him in the flickering orange glow of the fire.

He doesn't say anything and I don't expect him to.

A FEW HOURS LATER

I wake up to someone climbing on top of me – I open my eyes blearily to find Harry crawling between Remus and I. I smile, putting my arm around him as he snuggles down comfortably.

Remus stirs and briefly opens his eyes before going back to sleep again. From experience, I know full well that he won't be getting up until this evening at the very least. I wave my wand at the fire and relight it before summoning a cup of tea and some warm milk for Harry when he wakes up.

I go through the things I need to do in my head.

The cat (whose name is still a work in progress, much to Sirius' amusement) slinks across the living room before settling on my lap and I give up trying to prepare myself for a productive day. Instead, I set down the mugs and let myself drift off again. The sofa is just so comfortable. James wasn't sure about it at first, he didn't like the shape of it but I managed to persuade him otherwise – and I'm glad I did.

I wonder where he is, what he's doing. Has he managed to get any sleep? Did he remember to take the medical kit I prepared for him? Is he alright? Will he send some sort of message? I know it's dangerous but secretly, all I want is a letter from him, or to see his Patronus. I miss him and I want him to come home. Harry misses him too. He misses Padfoot as well. He sits there for hours, nose pressed against the glass, waiting for the sound of the motorbike and for Sirius' face to appear, but it doesn't.

Wormy's been over a fair few times. He looks constantly worried and apprehensive which isn't unusual, what's unusual is how uncomfortable he is around Remus, Harry and I. Al noticed it too. She comes around often to keep me company and she brings Neville with her. Al's good company -she doesn't get restless or bored, she'll talk to literally anyone and she's a good listener. We get on really well.

I think one of the best things about my family is that they don't try to tell me that it's okay when it's not, they don't try to tell me how I feel or try to make me magically better like my feelings are a choice I can make – and I appreciate that more than anything.

JAMES' P.O.V

COUNTRYSIDE (THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE)

You know those photographs you get of beautiful country landscapes with lush green hills, an infinite cornflower blue sky, and purple heather? Well they're complete bullshit.

The grass is scare and what little there is of it, is yellow and dry. The sky is permanently grey and stormy and there is no heather to be found. Instead, there are thorny hedges, plants with prickles and reams of nettles – with no dock leaves in sight. I swear the rain is following us and Padfoot woke up with a toad on his head. Countryside. People do this for fun?

We're in the tent now, because it's about four in the morning and we were walking all night following a trail that turned out to be false. I can't sleep because Padfoot is in my tent and because I have had years of experience sleeping in the same room as him, I know that if I want to get to sleep, I have to do so before he does. Why? Because he snores like you wouldn't believe. However, he managed to get to sleep before I did and once he's asleep, he will not be woken.

So I'm left here, with no one to talk to apart from the dreary, unchanging patter of rain that I can't be bothered to silence. I think of Lily, as I often do when I'm not trying to fight off inferi (I don't want to talk about it). I wonder what she's doing around about now. Is Harry sleeping okay? He often finds it difficult to sleep when Padfoot's not there. Padfoot always tells him this story (that he made up), about a dog that doesn't know he's a dog and follows these goats around because he thinks that the goats are his family even though the goats are smelly and stupid. All the dog wants to do is fit in with them and for them to love him like they love each other. One day, the dog realises that he's not the same and he never will be. The dog is sad for a while before he realises that he's awesome on his own and way better than the goats could ever be. He finds some really cool friends who aren't goats either and make him feel happy and love him like the goats never did. Ta-dah. The end. Harry loves it; Lily looks on the verge of tears whenever she hears it.

I hope Moony's alright – I ordered him to go to Lily after the transformation. I pulled a few strings and got the Ministry to set up a Portkey well in advance so he wouldn't get hyperthermia in the forest on his own. Shit… I should probably have warned Lily. Ah well, never mind. She'll be fine.

Lying out here in the wet reminds me of this prank we tried to pull before Lily's mission. That was funny…

~ FLASHBACK ~

5th JULY 1981

POTTER'S COTTAGE

JAMES' P.O.V

"Quick! Get down! Bloody hell, are you deaf Wormtail?" Padfoot yells.

Wormtail scurries out and gets under our make-shift shelter/fort made of logs and garden chairs as we hear the fireworks go off. The main targets were Lily and Alice, you see, we've been ah, modifying the fireworks to do certain things. It's really cool – we've used the basic principle of something (in a firework's case –light and stuff) coming out and creating a load noise. We've invented fireworks that let off this gas that absorbs all the light in a room (Padfoot got the gas, but Merlin knows where from), another that covers all the surfaces in green slime (Wormtail's favourite), one that spurts water everywhere (probably the most harmless of the lot providing it's not used next to Lil's electrics) and one that lets out a load of confetti. The latter is Harry's favourite – Harry's been nicknamed Marauderette because he follows us around everywhere, he's with us now, as is Neville. Neville's alright – he and Harry seem close enough; I imagine they'll be mates when they're older. Lily thinks I'm not setting a good example to them but I say that I'm teaching them the fundamental life skill of having a bit of fun, because life would be pretty boring if you weren't allowed to have fun sometimes even if that fun derives from covering your wife's furniture in green slime. We've also introduced nose-biting teacups into our everyday lives (they never cease to be funny) which Wormtail found hilarious until he accidentally tried to drink from one. Anyway, we've set off all three – we hear the bangs and the cries of indignation – clearly it worked.

"Okay, go!" Padfoot commands and we rush into the house to see the damage we've created.

We enter the living room, me holding Neville, Padfoot holding Harry, flinging the door open and grinning broadly. There is no one there. It is oddly quiet… something's not quite right.

Suddenly, Lily and Alice appear from behind the door and, armed with water pistols, proceed to soak us in freezing cold water. I shield Neville's eyes but he's giggling like mad. Padfoot shrieks, Wormtail squeals and I'm laughing my head off. Lily puts her water gun down and smirks at me – she isn't covered in green slime, she isn't soaked and she isn't covered in confetti.

"You didn't think that after all your pranks; we hadn't formulated some kind of defence plan, did you?" Lily says, giving Alice a high five.

"Yep, we protected ourselves from your stupid fireworks and planned a little revenge of our own," Alice says.

Moony comes into the living room with a book in his hand.

"Lily, you know in your edition of Pride and Prejudice…" he trails off, looking at the state of the living room and how soaked we all are, "um, did I miss something?"

"Oh for Merlin's sake! My hair!" Padfoot exclaims; looking in the mirror on the wall – there's slime and water and gunge in it somehow. He gives Harry over to me – now I'm juggling two babies. Great.

"What's wrong with it?" Alice asks.

"What's wrong with it?" Padfoot repeats incredulously, "it's ruined!"

"Calm down Sirius, you just need to wash it out," Lily says rolling her eyes.

"Just need to wash it out? Are you hearing yourself?" he storms out of the room.

Lily looks after him, bemused.

"What's that all about?" she asks.

"Um, well Padfoot has this thing…" I start, wondering how to explain it.

"…with his hair," Wormtail says.

"He's very protective of it," Moony sighs.

"Surely after all the stupid pranks you did, his hair must have a got a little messy," Lily says.

"You'd think so," Moony says, "but no. His hair's integrity is always a priority."

"I had no idea he was so vain."

"Really? After living with him for years you had no idea that he was vain?" I say, doubtfully.

"I did, I just didn't think he'd be so…" Lily struggles over the word.

"Pathetic? Tearful? Pitiful?" Alice suggests.

"I was going to say maudlin, but yes, those too," Lily grins.

"I can hear you!" Padfoot yells from upstairs.

"How's your hair?" Wormtail calls.

There is no response.

"Someone should go and check on him," I say.

"Oh please not me," Moony says.

"Or me," Wormtail adds.

"Oh for God's sake," Lily says, exasperated, "I'll go."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Yeah, you might get assaulted."

"Or he'll give you the silent treatment."

"I'll bring Harry with me," Lily says.

"That might work," Wormtail says, impressed.

"Has this ever happened before?" Alice asks.

"Yes," Moony says shortly.

"How?"

"Don't ask," Wormtail advises.

"He wouldn't talk to Wormtail for three days," I say.

"It was an accident!" Wormtail grumbles.

"We told you to stay away from the candles!" Moony hisses.

"Well it's not my fault he was standing in the way!" Wormtail argues.

"Guys," Lily says, "don't you think you're all overreacting just a little bit?"

"No," I say.

"Not at all," Wormtail shakes his head.

"Okay," she says, shaking her head and taking Harry from me.

"Good luck," Wormtail says seriously.

Lily rolls her eyes again before heading up the stairs, her hand supporting Harry as her walks. I do not envy her.

~ FLASHBACK OVER ~

LILY'S P.O.V

I wake up with a jolt – I see the cat bolt out of the room and my eyes glance to the shattered glass on the floor. I mutter a quick reparo and summon the now fixed glass jar. It's Sirius' hair gel that he keeps here for emergencies.

I hold back a laugh as I remember the time that Al and I used water pistols to completely soak Sirius' hair – he was furious. In the end, I'd gone up after him, armed with Harry, and apologised.

~ FLASHBACK ~

I knock on the bathroom door; there is no sound from the other side.

"Sirius? Come on Sirius, open the door."

I can hear a shuffling and then silence. He's probably standing right outside the door now.

"I've got Harry with me," no response, "come on, you wouldn't turn Harry away, would you?"

The door opens. Sirius looks at me, completely unimpressed as he takes Harry from me and stands aside to let me in.

"I'm sorry about your hair Sirius," I say as solemnly as I can.

It looks fine now, shiny and glossy as usual. He glares at me.

"Really? You're not going to talk to me?"

He grunts and Harry murmurs his own gibberish at him. I can see him on the verge of a smile. That's the thing about Harry, no matter how awful I feel, no matter how much I miss my parents, somehow, he always manages to make me smile. He brings me the kind of happiness I can only vaguely remember from my childhood – a happiness so faint and faded, I hardly know if it's real. How can I possibly cry when he's smiling at me? How can I possibly want to give up when he's there, laughing away? How can I ever let my grief consume me when he's so happy? I can't. He's my own Patronus. I see James in him; I see Padfoot's rambunctious nature, Moony's serenity and Wormtail's acceptance. He's the embodiment of my love and that's something incorruptible. I know Sirius sees it too.

"Not cool, Lily-flower," his voice makes me jump, "using my adorable godson to manipulate me."

"What can I say? You Marauders have had a bad influence on me."

"We have not," he snorts, "you decided to corrupt yourself when you gave Prongs a chance."

"So it's my fault?"

"Absolutely… I suppose I can forgive you though."

"How gracious of you."

"There's no need for sarcasm," he scolds, "when are you going to the snake pit?"

"Oh the mission? Tomorrow."

"If you see Snivellus, give him a good hex in the eye for me."

"Do you want me to get killed?"

"You can be discrete about it."

"How can you discretely hex someone in the eye?"

"You'll find a way," Sirius says dismissively, "you're Lily fucking Potter, what can't you do?"

"Kill Voldemort?"

"Pah, I'd like to see him bloody try to duel you."

"Oh he has," I say, thinking back to one of the many duels I've endured over the years.

"Yet you survived."

"Only because he Disapparated."

"You scared him away?"

"Yeah right, of course I did."

"I wouldn't doubt you did," he says, "you're a terrifying force of nature when you're duelling."

"Not half as terrifying as you, or James, or Moony, or Alice, or Frank –"

"Objection my lord, please present your evidence."

"Have you seen my defence spells? Especially the Finato Duri and my healing charms are really weak –"

"But your knowledge in Potions is unprecedented, you can cast a corporeal Patronus and your spellwork is always precise. Listen to me Lily; you are one of the most talented witches I've ever met. You'd give any Death Eater a run for their money."

"But –"

"So you're not the smartest witch who ever lived, so maybe you're not the best at healing charms, but who cares? You don't have to be the smartest or the bravest, you just have to be you. Don't live up to anyone's expectations other than your own. Okay?"

"Okay. I just wish sometimes that I wasn't so… it's hard to explain. I'm good at Potions…"

"Amazing," Padfoot says, "better than anyone I've ever seen."

"That's not true, Snape was – is- far better than I am –"

"I don't believe that –"

"Well it's true! You know, I found out about Remus being a werewolf in third year I think, and I tried to brew the Wolfsbane Potion – you know the one invented by Damocles? But the ingredients were exceedingly expensive and the potion itself was extremely difficult to brew… I mean, it's been around for six years – it's a relatively modern potion and there was nothing written about it –"

"Lily, listen to me, don't you think we've tried to brew it? We tried everything for him, hell, we became Animagi in the end."

"I know, it's just, I wanted to do something for him. Use what I had for a good purpose and I failed."

"So? That potion is impossible to make."

"I –"

"Don't you dare, you have that face, the guilty face. Don't blame yourself. Moony didn't want anyone to know about it, do you know how guilty he feels? He thinks he's going to hurt us one day, he thinks he's a monster and he's completely convinced that he's dangerous and lethal. When we were little, he used to say that his mother was ill a lot and he had to go and visit her, or that he wasn't feeling very well, which was true but he was so fucking scared of what would happen if people found out. Trust me, your acceptance of him is enough. I know it's hard but there are some things that you can't do anything about. All you can do is provide a bit of support and help him through it."

"I hate it when you're right."

"And I hate that you and Moony are both so damn insecure."

"Hey, everyone has their insecurities."

"That's true, but some of us are better at dealing with them than others."

"As if," I snort, "you need help and reassuring just as much as I do."

"No I don't."

"I don't believe you."

"I don't blame you."

"Are you okay?"

"Aside from my hair getting ruined, I'm wonderful."

A/N: Me again. I hope the chapter was okay. The next few chapters will be quite depressing but I'm trying to stick to canon so...

Regarding the name of the cat, I have several ideas in my mind (I was thinking Ozymandias or Nietzsche? Or maybe Oscar after Oscar Wilde! Oh my word I'm actually going to call the cat Oscar...). Okay, the cat is henceforth to be referred to as Oscar.

ProngisfyMe: Thank you ever so much for your lovely review - I really appreciate it. I will include some more Lily/Sirius and Lily/Remus. As for Lily/Marlene... well, you'll see. I'll try to get some conversations in for you but they're not going to be entertaining exactly.

Anyway, I've rambled on long enough. Thank you if you read the chapter (and are reading this). Best wishes to you all. :)