When Edward opened his eyes, it was to the bright and very familiar scene of his family home. He sat up in the grass he had been lounging in and looked around. It was a bright morning in the summer, the temperature balmy and warm. Bees buzzed in the clear blue sky, mingling with the chirping cicadas and the rustling wind. The tree he had been sitting on cast speckled shadows on his face, the cool touch of the shade comforting in the summer heat. Resembool, the small town that he called home, sprawled out in the open countryside around him.

Edward felt the blades of grass between both of his hands and felt an inexplicable surge of joy at the feeling. He smiled brightly.

"Brother, are you still sleeping? Come play with us!" Someone called out to Edward and he turned his head to the side lazily. Standing over him, covered in grass and dirt, was his little brother Alphonse, smiling with his light brown eyes sparkling in his seven year old innocence, just as he should be. For a second, Edward was confused, thinking he was seeing double, because standing behind Al was a second boy, identical to his brother. Unlike Al though, he had long hair and green eyes.

"Yeah, Ed, come on! You've been sleeping all day," the second boy claimed. He tilted his head and a flash of light drew Edward's eyes to a familiar earring with a sparkling blue stone. Ed's expression cleared. It was just Alex.

"Boys, it's time for lunch!" A gentle voice beckoned them from across the yard, and the twins smiled brightly in that direction. Ed also turned with a huge grin, excitement surging through him, and for some reason he didn't understand, sadness. Sitting a few yards away on a red checkered blanket was Trisha Elric, their mother. Her long brown hair was bound in a light bun, several strands escaping and fluttering in the wind. She looked at them with her warm chocolate eyes and beckoned them with a delicate hand. "Come on, I made sandwiches!"

Alphonse and Alex answered her exuberantly and ran over to the blanket and sat down. Ed grinned and jumped up as well, heading over. For some reason, it felt like it had been so long since he had one of his mother's lunches, and his stomach grumbled hungrily. Edward sat beside his slightly smaller younger brothers and Trisha smiled at him warmly and patted his head. An overwhelming sense of melancholy overtook the eight year old in that moment, and tears came to his eyes.

"Why, Ed, what's wrong?"

Edward touched his wet face in confusion. "Um…I don't know. Sorry, I guess my eyes are just watery."

"Quit being such a crybaby, Ed," Alex taunted with a smile.

"Why don't you say that to my face," Ed said back.

"I just did! What are you going to do about it!?"

"Agh!" Edward pounced on his younger brother and the two rolled around on the blanket, wrestling. Alphonse laughed as the two pulled him in as well, the three struggling to stay on top while Trisha watched with a calm smile.

"Boys, look out," Trisha suddenly exclaimed, but before her warning reached them, they ran into the basket that was holding all of their food. The contents of the basket spilled out into the grass and the weaved basket was crushed, the fibers splitting it in half.

"Oh, now look what you've done," Trisha scolded, trying vainly to pinch the split together.

"Sorry, mom," the three said contritely.

"Don't worry, I can fix it," Edward said, suddenly perking up. With a practiced ease, he clapped his hands together and in a flash of blue light, the basket was as good as new.

Shocked silence met his actions and Ed looked up from the newly formed basket in confusion. "What is it," he asked, meeting all three gazes.

"You can do alchemy?" Trisha said, eyes wide.

Edward looked down at his two flesh hands. For a second his vision blurred and one of his hands flashed a dull grey before turning back to normal. He flexed it. "Well, yeah," he said uncertainly.

"Well, if you can do alchemy so well," Trisha's voice said, suddenly sounding watery and weak, and Ed was distracted as a spot of crimson splashed onto the blanket beside her. He looked up slowly and his eyes opened wide in sudden fear. "Why couldn't you save me?" A trail of blood was seeping out of her mouth from both corners and her expression was suddenly aggrieved and accusing.

"M-mom?" The bright summer day grew dim and foreboding, and a freezing wind sucked the warmth out of the suddenly shivering boy.

Both Alphonse and Alex huddled together in fear, watching as Trisha Elric stood up to her full height. They scooted over to Edward and the three looked up in horror.

"Why didn't you save me Ed? Why?"

Edward suddenly jumped forward with a cry as Trisha began to fall backwards, as if in slow motion. He jerked to a stop though as he was grabbed harshly by his collar. He looked behind him and saw Alex, but it wasn't the Alex that had just been there. It was an older version that towered over Edward's eight-year-old form and stared down at him with glowing crimson eyes.

"You broke your promise, Ed." His voice was harsh and guttural, sounding completely alien and making his appearance all the more frightening. "You couldn't protect me, and then you betrayed me. You turned me into this. How could you? I would have been human and happy, but I'm not and it's all. Your. Fault."

Ed struggled to break Alex's iron grip and ripped his shirt free. "N-no! I did it to save you! There was no choice–" Edward's voice cut off as Alex's angry expression turned to one of grief. A blood-red tear trailed down his cheek.

"You betrayed me…" he whispered, his voice suddenly going back to normal, although the sound was laced with terrible sadness. "You brought me to this world…You turned me into a monster…"

"No…" Ed took a shuddering step back, his eyes wide, only to run into something solid and cold. He whipped around and stumbled back as a huge suit of armor suddenly loomed over him menacingly.

"Why didn't you listen to my warning, Brother?" The sweet voice of his younger brother rang harshly and angrily through the metal. Alien and harsh pitches reverberated through his words and clawed at Edward's ears. "None of this would have happened if you had just listened to me." He reached out and enormous spiked hand and Edward fell back with a cry.

The terrified boy gripped his head with both hands and shut his eyes tightly, trying to drown out his surroundings. "Wake up, wake up, wake up," he chanted desperately. The field suddenly became dark and menacing and Ed opened his eyes as a cold and cruel wind suddenly whipped around him. He was now in his ten year old form and standing before him were the three people he had failed so completely. They stood shoulder to shoulder, Trisha with blood dripping down her chin, Alex crying crimson tears from his menacing red eyes, and Alphonse looming over them in a cruel, gleaming suit of armor.

"Why," they whispered as one.

Edward screamed and turned to run, but as his foot struck the ground, the earth turned obsidian and a giant eye opened beneath him. An endless black pupil narrowed and then looked directly at him as he watched it in horror. Before he could run, small greedy black hands on writhing spindly arms grabbed his right arm and his left leg and pulled him violently to the ground. The boy struggled and railed as the arms pulled harder and harder. "No!"

Abruptly, the world dropped around him so that there was only white abyss in every direction, the great eye beneath him, and the hands pulling painfully at his body. Edward's heart hammered in his ears and he looked around in terror. A bright light blinded him, and then he watched in abject horror as an enormous gate rose menacingly out of the abyss in front of him.

"No…please…" Ed whispered. It cracked open with a resounding boom and slowly began to open. "Please…!"

It didn't open very far, when all of the sudden the arms that had been tugging at the small boy suddenly gave a tearing pull and ripped him apart, the boy's agonized screams drowning out all else. Before he lost awareness, he was sure he heard a cruel, high-pitched laugh.

Edward Elric, fourteen years old, half metal and half man, opened his golden eyes with a startled jerk. For several seconds, his body trembled in alarm as his lungs refused to draw in air. Sweat soaked his body and caused his shirt to stick to his chest and his golden hair to cling to his face.

"Brother?" A concerned voice sounded from the other side of the room, and like a spell lifting, Edward drew in a breath and his body collapsed back onto the bed on which he lay with a shuddering gasp. "Brother, are you alright?" Alphonse asked in concern, standing from his position sitting by the window and walking over to where Edward trembled on the bed. Ed looked up at his younger brother, but the light from the late morning sun caused his head to throb sharply, emanating from where his head had struck the tile, and he closed his eyes. He tried to bring his automail arm to his face to cover his fevered eyes, but with a sharp sting from his empty shoulder port, he remembered that it was no longer there. He was broken.

"Al," he said softly. Just to say his name. "Alphonse…"

"I'm here," Al said softly. "Did you have another nightmare?"

Ed nodded, long past the point of trying to hide it. He had been having them for too long.

"Talk to me."

"It was the same one." Always the same one, although sometimes his teacher was there as well to condemn him further. "And an old memory…" he mumbled. Yes, a memory of that night…the night they tried to bring back their mother. And failed. What happened when Al was gone, and Edward was left to face the Gate of Truth, the giant stone gate that is the source of all alchemy, alone…Ed shook his head to get rid of the image of his worst memory and forced himself to sit up. His head gave another dull throb and he grimaced, the events leading up to the injury flashing in his mind unpleasantly.

"He really was mad this time, wasn't he…"

"Having him mad at us is better than him being dead," Al said shortly.

Edward didn't respond, but his chest throbbed at the memory of Alex's terrified eyes.

"Do you really think he meant it? Does he really still blame me for all that happened?" Alphonse considered his older brother carefully. Edward still looked worn down, both from the attack by Scar, losing his automail, and finally Alex's reaction of their betrayal. Al recalled the many talks he had had with Alex about how afraid he was of changing, of becoming something he couldn't control. Worse, he had been in contact with Alex some of those times, so he knew exactly how the boy had felt. It wasn't just words. But…seeing him dead on the ground was worse than looking into his accusing eyes. At least they still had life in them when he was angry.

"He's mad…" Al said slowly, "but I don't think he meant it. He loves us. I've felt it."

Edward smiled derisively and rested his head on his flesh knee. "Felt it, huh? That's not what I felt…"

Alphonse started in surprise. "You connected with him?"

"Yeah…It was like this giant abyss opened up around my mind, and then it was flooded with another soul…I felt like I was going to be pushed out by all of his anger, and his fear…"

Alphonse looked down and clenched his hands. They creaked softly. When Edward had finally touched Alex the day before, the two of them had seized as if possessed. Their expressions had been terrible, as if they were in pain. Alphonse remembered the first time he had linked with Alex. It had been one of the most terrifying and intense experiences in his life, including the time he had been deconstructed by the failed transmutation. The emotions of two people, including the exchange of sensory information, was a huge overload on one soul, as Alex and Alphonse had found out the hard way. Tensions and emotions had also been high at the time, so the experience would have been that much more intense.

"So that's why he attacked you…" Alphonse said softly. He had been so angry at Alex for hurting his older brother, that he had completely ignored the reason Alex might have done it. Alphonse cringed internally. On top of everything, Alex not only discovered that he had been given a red stone against his will, but it had also changed him irrevocably again. Not only that, but in doing so it threw into question just what his empathy powers were. If not a connection to Alphonse, who they thought was the original soul of Alex's body, or something that was a connection just between the two of them, then what exactly was it? Could it be that it was something unique to Alex himself, and the red stone enhanced that power so that he could connect with anyone? Alphonse shuddered to think what it could be like to not be able to touch anyone without a severe intrusion unto both parties. "I shouldn't have yelled at him like that…"

"Yeah, well, he said some pretty harsh things too…"

"Yeah," Alphonse said softly, "it was aweful."

"Do you think…do you think he'll ever forgive us? Forgive me?" Ed asked quietly, and Alphonse knew he didn't just mean the red stone or breaking his promise. He meant everything, from the very moment Edward conceived of his plan to bring their mother back, ignoring his brother's uncertainties, destroying Al's body and ripping an innocent woman from her own world and family, to this very moment.

Alphonse sighed internally, looking at his older brother with compassion. "You weren't the only one who pressed his hands to that circle, brother." Alphonse looked down at his artificial hands. "I have shared his emotions from the beginning, feeling them change and grow. I don't know exactly when it happened, but he forgave us. And I never blamed you."

Al watched as his older brother's eyes filled with water before he shifted his arm to hide his face. "I don't think the question is whether he will ever forgive us, brother," Al continued, "but whether we will ever forgive ourselves."

It was silent for several minutes as the two boys regained control of their emotions. A clock on the wall ticked its way past noon as neither of them moved. Ed eventually broke the silence. "Where is he now?"

"Hughes just said that he was safe, but he wouldn't tell me where."

"You should have gone after him."

Alphonse shook his head. "You needed me more…besides that, I was angry at his words and hurting you. Even if I did go after him, it wouldn't have solved anything. We just would have fought more."

"That madman is still on the lose though…not to mention that woman…"

"He's with Mustang. The colonel won't let anything happen to him."

Edward nodded. He felt slightly grateful that Alex wasn't there at the moment. He wasn't sure he could face him just yet. Alex's words had hurt him badly, though he would never admit it. The blonde let out a long sigh. Maybe Al was right, and they just needed a little time apart. Still, Ed wouldn't be completely at ease until Alex was back by their side and the air was cleared. Unfortunately for him, it would be a long while before he even saw his brother again.

A soft knock sounded at the door and Hughes walked in unannounced.

"Hello Mr. Hughes," Alphonse said politely, although he didn't even look in the man's direction. Edward didn't react at all.

Hughes sighed. "Hi boys, how are you feeling?"

Edward shrugged, but the boys remained silent. A cloud of gloom hung over the room, darkening the sunshine, and Hughes rolled his eyes discreetly. If this is what teenagers were like after a spat, he hoped Elicia and Nina never grew up. Although he supposed that watching your brother die by some psychopath's hand, then doing something you promised you would never do by bringing him back with a crazy alchemical catalyst which turned him into an inhuman freak, was a bit more complicated than your usual fight between siblings. "I have a message for you from Alex," Hughes continued as if he hadn't just been ignored. Edward lifted his head and Hughes cringed at his pathetic expression.

"Geeze, Ed, lighten up. Roy was able to talk some sense into the kid. Alex told him to tell you he's sorry."

Edward's eyes widened a bit. "Why didn't he just tell us himself?"

"Because he left town this morning."

Shocked silence fell over the room. It didn't last for long. "What do you mean, he left town? Where the hell to?" Ed shouted suddenly.

Hughes rubbed his ears with a grimace, trying to get rid of the sudden ringing they were plagued with. "Ouch, did you have to shout?"

"Hughes!" both boys exclaimed as one.

"Alright, alright!" Hughes lifted his hands placatingly. "All Roy would tell me is that Alex is heading south and that he'd meet you at Resembool in two weeks time. He said you'd know what that meant."

"South," Alphonse said. "He's going to Dublith."

"To see Orkan," Ed added. "But why?" He brought his hand to his chin in thought.

"So this Orkan fellow, he wouldn't happen to be the Master Orkan would he?" Hughes asked, butting in.

"Well, he's Alex's teacher," Al said, "just like Izumi Kurtis is our teacher. What do you mean the Master Orkan? Is he famous?"

"In a sense," Hughes said, "but that's a story for another time. Alex was trained by him, so if he's feeling insecure about his power, clearly he would go to the man who trained him for guidance first."

Ed felt a slight pang of hurt at that, but it made sense. After all, it wasn't like he could do much to help Alex gain control over something Edward didn't even understand. Edward and Alphonse looked at each other in thought. Neither one was really comfortable with Alex being apart from them but…

"I think he needs this, brother. He left on his own, and he probably feels guilty for hurting you." Al said. "We should meet him in Resembool. By then you should be repaired and maybe this time apart will do us all a little good."

Ed nodded. "You're right, as always," he smiled teasingly, and Al was happy to see a bit of spark in his dull eyes for the first time since the near-death experience with Scar. Then he frowned. "But what about Scar and that woman? Is it safe for him to be alone?"

"Oh, he's not alone," Hughes said. "What do you take me for? I sent a bodyguard with him, of course."

"Who," Al asked.

Hughes' glasses flashed. "One of my men. First lieutenant Barret."

Al and Ed glanced at each other. "Who?"

o-0-o

The train rattled beneath me as I watched the countryside fly by in the early noon. Jäger slept in the bag next to my hand, the chill air of the early winter making him sleepy. I gently patted the sac and he purred softly. Across from me, my unexpected but not unwelcome bodyguard sat stoically and stared out the window as well. Barret didn't talk much, but I kinda liked that about the older man. My spirit was unsettled, and I didn't think I could handle the questions I was sure he had for me, so I was grateful he hadn't addressed me much since we departed the station. The scenery blurred by as I watched behind the shaded glasses that were hiding my muddied red gaze. The red had started to fade slightly as the hours passed, but they were still dark enough to alarm people, so I hid them.

Even though the train took me farther and farther from my brothers, the two people in this world I trusted and felt at home with above all others despite everything, I felt that until I gained some semblance of control I would be better off away from them. So I merely watched as the country passed by, Barret and Jäger silent companions at my side.

Hi guys! I updated sooner this time! Well, all sorts of drama, ne? No worries, Alex and the boys will get back to their normal selves in no time. That dream of Ed's was pretty fun to write. It's interesting to write surreal stuff sometimes. It's kind of a spin off from that dream he had after Nina died, I forget which series.

So yeah, the boys are heading their separate ways for a while. I won't be writing any more episodes just yet, since some stuff needs to get resolved before they head to the fifth lab soon. So everything in the next few chapters will be from my imagination, and we might run into some people we know. I might include a bit of a break from the drama too, so you can all take off your emo glasses for a minute.

In other news, Thanksgiving is coming up soon, which means a week off in which I can write! Yeah! Next chapter: Alex runs into some old friends and a certain woman observes him from afar.

Pft, I just had a funny thought. Is this how Pikachu would behave if Ash used a thunder stone on him? He'd be like "Rai!" –zap– *runs away in tears* and Ash would be like "Wait, Raichu, I did it so we could win the tournament! Come baaaaack!"