I'm trying to post a little quicker so I can get this story finished and focus on a couple of my other projects. So have another chapter, you deserve it! Guess what? My return to university application is nearly ready to send and I'm changing my hours at work to allow me more time to do silly things like sleep and actually breathe between shifts until I return to being a student in September and hopefully not balls it up again. Exciting times!
I'd like to send a special thank you to the ever so sweet AraxiaJustice13 who continues to be an absolute gold star sweetheart. Sending you love and kisses, sweetie! We are approaching the Dramatic Climax of this particular story so I hope you guys like your drama to be rather dramatic. If you've read any of my other stuff you'll know I don't tend towards quiet or gentle stories. But you've made it to chapter sixteen so I'm gonna assume you're ok with that.
Content Warning: Alcohol (don't drink kids, see it has bad effects), common assault, injury, revelation.
"Woah, what happened in here? Bonnie? Holy shit, did you get drunk?"
"Yup. No fooling you. 'm so damn drunk I can't even stand."
She shrugged and reached for the half empty bottle of vodka on the coffee table again. Finn grabbed it out of her hands before she could help herself to any more.
"Why d'you care anyway?" she slurred, fixing him with a bleary glare. "You fucking left. She left too. Everyone jus... leaves. M'dad left an then Neddy had to go and you left and now she left. 'm so damn easy to leave."
Bonnie put her head down on her arms and closed her eyes against the suddenly spinning room. Finn was right to take the bottle away, damn him. She'd already had far too much to drink. Lydia was away for the night with her new boy toy at some fancy hotel that Bonnie was willing to bet any money wasn't as nice as the fancy hotel that Marceline had taken her to. She was alone in the apartment and miserable and there'd been a dusty bottle of vodka in the cupboard under the kitchen sink. She hadn't been able to think of a reason not to try drowning her sorrows. She'd heard it was pretty effective.
Wrong, it was awful. A thousand times worse than being sober. Most everything was blurred and softened apart from her misery which was so sharp she felt like it was stabbing her in the chest with every breath. And then Lydia had bloody gone and called Finn to come check up on her and he'd taken the bottle away. Maybe she just hadn't drunk enough yet?
"Bon, I'm worried about you." Finn told her, and he really did look it. It was difficult for her to focus completely on his face but from what she could tell his brows were pulled together into a frown and he was gazing down at where she was lying- wait when had she slid onto the floor?
"I'm fine." she tried to tell him, but it came out more like a weird slur and hiccough.
Finn wrinkled his nose and looked around. He was momentarily distracted by the soft crooning and piano music coming from the speakers in the corner; definitely not the usual kind of cheerful pop Bonnie normally played.
"What is this? What are you listening to? No offence Bon, but this sounds like the most depressing music ever written."
"S'Joni Mitchell. Marcy left her CDs in my car. S'Good. Sad, but really good. Like… she's sad too cause she made her baby cry an she doesn't have a river to skate away on. An Marcy really likes this kinda thing. I don't think she knows any music written after the early nineties actually. She's like, massively into Dad Rock. Finn, I miss her so much." Bonnie mumbled the last part quietly with her face still pressed against her arms. "I'm such a cliché. I think I'm in love with her."
"I know, Bon. You're the most stereotypical lesbian who ever lived and you're gonna feel like a bomb went off it your head tomorrow." Finn muttered as he gently took her arm and pulled her upright. "But you can't sleep on the lounge carpet. C'mon, up we go."
He slipped his other arm around her back and hefted her bodily up off the floor. When did Finn get so strong? He was only a little taller than she was and he'd always struggled to lift her in the past but now he was carrying her like she weighed no more than a child. Beyond her crippling self-loathing and the haze of alcohol Bonnie was impressed.
"Where'r we going?" she mumbled against Finn's shoulder.
"Bed. You need to sleep it off. We can talk about this in the morning when you've sobered up a bit." Finn replied. There was a heavy note of some strong emotion swirling under the surface of his words but Bonnie couldn't think clearly enough to tell what it was. Anger perhaps? Or weary amusement? She hoped it was affection. She really did care about Finn a lot.
"Oooh Finn's taking me to bed." she giggled. For some reason that was hilarious.
"C'mon, Bon. Don't say it like that."
This time she was absolutely certain it was discomfort colouring his voice. Despite the alcohol she knew him well enough to be able to tell that. She frowned and awkwardly hugged him as he carried her from the lounge down the hall to her bedroom.
"Sorry. I do love you, y'know?" she slurred against his ear. She noticed that Finn's face was hot where she rested her cheek against his, as though maybe he was blushing. Oh. It'd been a long time since she'd made him blush like that and without any warning Bonnie missed him. She missed the uncomplicated easy relationship they'd had before his transition. Missed being able to read his body language so easily and knowing she could affect him physically just by being against his skin. It was weird having an ex-boyfriend but it caused an unexpected jab of warmth in her stomach to know he was thinking those kinds of thoughts about her. That someone was. Finn was folding back the duvet on her bed and lowering her carefully but she clung on to him. She didn't want to lose that comforting closeness just yet.
"Hey lumpy, you're gonna need to let go of me." Finn told her with an awkward smile.
Instead of listening to him Bonnie tightened her arm around Finn's neck, pulled him forwards over her and mashed her lips against his clumsily. Finn tensed after a half second of shocked stillness and pushed away. He broke her grip around his neck and staggered back with wide shocked eyes.
"Listen, I know you're hurting right now. So I'm gonna let that one slide, right? But please, Bon. For both our sakes please don't ever do that again." Finn breathed after a long moment.
"Sorry! Finn, I'm sorry! I just... miss you. I miss- I dunno. Miss feeling normal. And you make me feel normal. Y'understand? Miss you."
"I miss you too. Christ, I miss you more than I want to tell you. But you know why we're just friends now and not anything else. It isn't me you want to kiss right now anyway, is it?" Finn asked her gently. He sat cautiously on the edge of the bed and pulled the duvet up to her shoulders but stayed just out of easy grabbing distance. Bonnie shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut again because the room spun dangerously when she did that. It turned into a distorted swirl of guilt and sickness that burned in the back of her throat and the corners of her eyes.
"I'm such a mess." she whispered. She turned her face into her pillow so Finn wouldn't see the shameful tears that were threatening to spill down her flushed cheeks. "I haven't been outside in days then I went back to uni today and I screwed up in the lab and my project might be ruined. I have to see my student councillor tomorrow and... Finn I'm scared I've wrecked everything. Are you angry with me?"
"Shh, hey, it's gonna be alright. I'm not angry. I know you're sad and not thinking clearly." the blonde boy soothed. "You'll get up tomorrow and be hung over is all. You can have some codeine and lots of water. I'll make you a gross fried breakfast or some of Jake's magic bacon pancakes or something and you'll feel better. Then you can go to uni and tell your student councillor that you had a bad break up but you're over it now and want to get back into studying. Go nerd out in the lab and catch up on what you missed and fix your project. Right? We can go out at the weekend. You, me and Sue. We'll go to a lesbian bar and hook you up with some pretty little thing. One night and no strings and for the love of God, Bonnie, no feelings. But tonight you're absolutely not allowed to blame yourself, alright? None of this is your fault."
Bonnie nodded carefully. She could do that. If Finn believed in her then she could try to believe in herself too; at the very least to avoid letting him down again. And a casual hook up... well it wasn't her usual style but maybe being the one who left right after the sex for once would help her feel more in control? But something about what he'd said sounded too much like that awful letter. None of this is your fault. And then she was thinking about Marceline again.
"What if she's in trouble?" Bonnie whispered. "What if he's hurt her? Killed her? What if I wake up tomorrow and she's on the news because he murdered her like he did to her Mum?"
"I'm sure she's fine." Finn soothed as he stroked a stray strand of hair away from Bonnie's face. "She grew up with those shady dudes. I bet she can look after herself."
"But you don't know. I don't know either and it's driving me crazy! I mean, she didn't look fine when they were leading her off in handcuffs! What if she's already in prison? I could help-"
"No, you couldn't. What could you do? Bail her out? You've got no money. Provide her with a false alibi for whatever she's supposedly done? And then you'd go to jail for lying to a judge. There's literally nothing you can do, Bonnie." Finn cut her off with a sad shake of his head.
Abruptly Bonnie was angry. She was just boiling with it; her limbs were fizzing weirdly because Finn was right and there was literally nothing she could do and she hated it.
"Her face was bruised! Didn't I tell you? Someone had hit her! I saw it, I saw her bruises! And that blonde man! Who was that man? If he hit her I'll fucking kill him! I should go, I should go over there right now, tell him-"
Strong hands were pushing her back into the mattress and as quickly as it had flared her temper died back down. She didn't resist as Finn tucked her back into the duvet.
"You'll stay away and leave her alone like she asked you to." Finn replied firmly. "You know I'm still sceptical about all this gangland stuff but if it is all true then you'll only make it worse for her by getting involved again. Just leave it, yeah? If you want to keep her safe then respect her wishes and stay away. Forget about her and let her live her life the way she wants."
"But she's not happy or safe."
"And as hard as that is to accept you can't just ride in on a white horse and save her. I'm sorry, Bon. You gotta let her go."
He stayed until her tears subsided; unsure if she'd fallen asleep or slipped into unconsciousness from the alcohol. But either way once Bonnie was softly snoring Finn grabbed a blanket from the closet in Lydia's empty room and curled up on the sofa. He sent a quick text to Jake to confirm their fears that Bonnie was in a really bad way and needed his support so he wouldn't be coming home that night. It took a long time for Finn to fall asleep too with the guilt swirling heavily through his chest. He knew she'd been even worse after he broke up with her and that time he hadn't been there to support her. Finn didn't really think he'd ever stop feeling guilty about that. In the darkness of Bonnie's lounge he let all of his unvoiced fears well back up. She could easily be right. Marceline could already be dead for all they knew.
...
Compared to Lydia's usual dates Johnny was a real catch. She practically glowed with pride as he held the door open for her to enter the swanky Oxford Street boutique he was taking her shopping in. They had dinner and a room booked at The Savoy and tomorrow he was going to take her sightseeing. She'd already seen most everything the city had to offer and she suspected he wanted her to play tour guide for him but that was fine. Johnny was a self-made business owner from some place in Scotland; Lyds hadn't really been paying attention when he told her where. And he was dreamy. Way dreamier than stupid Brad had been. She'd heard he was dating Melissa now anyway, the slut. Whatever, she didn't care. She was hanging off the arm of the hottest guy in London and he was rich too. Lydia had struck gold.
She paused from where she was holding up a hand dyed silk scarf for him to admire and stared over his shoulder with a frown.
"Something up, babe?" Johnny asked her worriedly. She shushed him distractedly. The girl who'd just entered the shop behind him was familiar. She knew that long mane of inky black hair but she couldn't quite place where from. If only she'd turn around so Lyds could see her face.
The girl finally turned and Lydia's eyes narrowed in dislike. It was that singer girl. The one who'd made Bonnie cry like a baby almost every night since she got home from being used as a fucking taxi service to the other end of the country and back. Girls who hurt her best friend didn't get a free pass from Lydia; especially not when they tried to cover it with some bullshit excuse about their Dad being some big time mafia boss. Bonnie had tried to explain more about that but Lyds hadn't been listening because she was too busy being outraged on her friend's behalf.
"You." she hissed. The girl spun around to face her with wide russet coloured eyes showing a surprising amount of shock and terror. Yeah you should be terrified, you bitch. Lydia thought in satisfaction.
"Lyds, hey, can we not do this here?" she asked quietly, almost in a whisper. The built blonde man she was with put a protective hand on her shoulder and glared at Lydia but that just made her even angrier. That tramp had already replaced Bonnie with some brainless guy after staging a big emotional coming out story to get her into bed? It made Lydia's blood boil in anger for her friend.
"Not do this here? Not do what? Not talk about how you made her cry, you fucking bitch? About the crap you put her through because you're too much of a fucking coward to just be honest that you're fucking gay? How about how you lied through your teeth to get Bonnie into bed then fucking disappeared into the night with the most ridiculous excuse I've ever heard? I've told some pretty huge lies in my time, Marceline, but I've never lied about someone being dead! You shameless bitch!" Lydia finished it at a screech. She was more furious than she even knew how to express.
"Lyds, keep it down!" Marceline begged.
"Keep it down? What, so your pretty new Ken doll there won't hear the shocking truth that you're a fucking lesbian? What's the matter, you don't like hearing it out loud? You liked it well enough when you were making eyes at Bonnie and letting her think the two of you had something special! You should see her, she's heartbroken! And it's all because of you! You're a lying, cheating slut!"
Her hand curled into a fist and she was halfway towards the other woman's face when the blonde man grabbed Marceline by the shoulder and whipped her out of the way just in time. Lydia changed the trajectory of her fist and it connected sharply with his nose instead. The cartilage crunched satisfactorily and even though her knuckles stung Lydia grinned savagely. His pretty nose was already beginning to swell and blood was trickling steadily down his expensive looking shirt.
"Lyds, Jesus, come on!" Johnny breathed as he grabbed her shoulder and pulled her away before she could cause any more damage. "I'm so sorry mate. Here, if you need anything dry cleaned here's my card. Just bill the company."
He shoved a business card into the blonde man's unresisting hand and tugged Lydia out of the shop by her shoulder. They nearly walked into another tall man just inside the doorway. He was gaunt and much older than the couple inside; hovering like a menacing dark cloud and surveying them all with a deep scowl on his angular face. Johnny stood aside and let the older man pass but not before Lydia had a chance to stare hard at him. He had the same high cheekbones and sharp nose as his daughter but none of her warmth or grace. Lyds felt a cold chill slip down her spine. There was the man who had supposedly murdered half of his family in a jealous rage. The look he shot Lydia as he stalked past her was so glacial she suddenly had a much better idea of why Bonnie's ex was so scared of him. Why someone could think such a ridiculous story might be true after all. As the door swung closed behind them Lydia heard the older man growl in tones so cold they could have frozen lava.
"Go home, Ashar. We are leaving. Come on, girl."
Then Lyds and Johnny were standing on the pavement outside the shop and staring at each other in shock.
"What the hell, Lydia? What was that?" Johnny demanded with a frown as they hurried off down the street together.
"That lying slut in there hurt my friend! My roommate Bonnie, she's heartbroken because of her! She's had it really rough since her ex told her he was really a transgender guy- oh don't look like that Johnny, Finn's awesome- and that girl lied to her about all kinds of messed up stuff. She pretended she was all scared and nervous about coming out then lied about her Dad being some famous murderer so she didn't have to look Bonnie in the eye when she broke up with her. And all Bonnie's done since is cry and avoid everyone. Now that lying bitch is trawling around the shops with some blonde himbo in tow- what was I supposed to do?" Lydia finished her little speech with a frustrated growl.
"Well maybe not punch the guy? I mean he could just be her friend or something, you don't know. You can't just go yelling that someone's a lesbian in front of their probably-boyfriend! And Christ, Lyds, you can't go around punching people. But your roommate's lucky to have a friend like you. You're a really caring person in your own crazy way." Johnny added thoughtfully.
"You don't think I'm too crazy?" Lydia asked him. Suddenly she was worried that she'd scared him off with her outburst. Johnny just smiled at her; Lydia nearly swooned. Johnny was so dreamy when he smiled.
"I mean, yeah you're completely mental. But too crazy? Nah. I think you're just the right level of crazy."
He pulled her up close and leaned in for a soft kiss, smiling against her lips. Lydia's roommate's weird maybe-lesbian ex could wait. Johnny had a date with a hot girl to think about.
...
"Hunson did this." Petya's eyes narrowed as he took in the mass of bruising and swelling around his son's broken nose. Ash was holding an ice pack against it and flinched away from his touch. Petya swore under his breath.
"No, Papa. A girl I didn't know. She mistook me for someone else, I think."
Ash was avoiding his father's eyes and Petya was no idiot. Whether it had been Hunson's fist that connected with his boy's face or someone else's he knew it was his old business associate who had caused his son to be injured that night. Hunson could slap his daughter all he wanted; it was sickening for a father to strike his child but there was nothing Petya could do to spare the girl. But nobody laid hands on his son or otherwise caused him to be harmed. It had gone on too long; Petya was absolutely done with being lied to because of Hunson Abadeer.
"You will tell me right now, what is this big secret the two of you are hiding? Why all this theatre? I don't want you mixed up with Hunson or his daughter if this is what happens when you are out with her. I know she is not your girlfriend. What are you hiding from me, Ash?" Petya demanded as he paced the length of the small lounge restlessly.
"I'm not hiding anything, Papa! I swear, I'm-"
"Do you think I will disapprove? Ashar, you are my only son. The day you were born I held you in my arms and promised I would love and protect you no matter what. And I would not normally push you to tell me when you are not comfortable but this charade has gone on long enough. It is too dangerous; I will not let you get hurt because of that girl when she is nothing to you. Just tell me, Ashar! I promise that will not love you any less because of it."
"Papa..." Ash began, but his voice shook with tears and he couldn't meet the old man's eyes. His father paused from his pacing and took a seat next to his son on the small sofa. He slipped an arm around Ash's shoulders and pulled him into a gentle hug. Perhaps he'd been too hard on the boy and pushed him further than he was ready for but Petya just wanted the truth. He wanted Ash to be honest with him so they could try to build a real father-son relationship.
"I mean it, Ash. I held you as a tiny baby and the first words I ever spoke to you were to tell you that I loved you more than anything in the world. I still do. No matter what you do, who you love or what you are. I will always love you and be proud to be your father. All I'm asking is to meet the real you, the son I want to love."
"Papa..." Ash tried again but he was unable to get the words out past his tears. He shook with silent sobs while his father held him and hummed the same old lullaby to him that he had when Ash had been a baby. Finally the boy's shoulders stopped shaking quite so hard and he found he could talk.
"I thought you would hate me. Thought you would turn me out onto the streets or organise someone from the family to 'take care' of me. Thought I would be an embarrassment to you, an abomination." he mumbled into his hands. He was still unable to look his father in the eyes.
"Why would you ever think that? Don't you know I love you more than the very air I breathe? You're my son, my own flesh and blood. You are my life's work. The most precious thing in the world to me" Petya replied soothingly.
"Papa, I'm gay." Ash told him quietly.
"I know, son. And I still love you more than anything else in this world."
Ash broke down into tears again. He hugged his father back this time and tried to reply but was unable to form the words over the sobs of relief that he couldn't hold back.
"And Marceline, she was pretending to be your girlfriend because you thought I would reject you?" Petya asked after a few long minutes.
"Y-yeah. She, ah, we both knew how our fathers would react. I thought I knew. I guess Hunson won't be so accepting." Ash replied snottily as he wiped the tears from his face with shaking hands. Petya frowned at that.
"Why would Hunson care that you are gay? He's an old fashioned homophobe, yes. But you are not his son and I will not allow him close to you. It is none of his business if..." Petya trailed off. Something awful had occurred to him. "Ash, is there more? What else are you not telling me?"
Ash nodded, looking down at his hands again.
"It isn't just me. Marceline is gay too, I was the first person she came out to. We knew about each other since our teens. It was a perfect arrangement of convenience whenever we needed dates for the family but she's so scared of what he'll do to her if he finds out. She's absolutely terrified of him. We both are." Ash whispered.
"His own daughter, the only surviving Petrikov heir. If he finds out- we must help her, Ash. You owe her a huge debt of gratitude and I will not let Hunson destroy another member of his own family. If he finds out he will kill her like he killed her mother and brother."
Petya's face had turned pale in shock and horror. That his son and his goddaughter had both been hiding the same secret was too big a revelation to take in all at once; he would focus instead on making sure Marceline lived to see the next day. Petya knew how Hunson felt about queers in more graphic detail than he'd ever wanted. He'd witnessed him do far worse to them than he had done to anyone else in his long and violent career. If he found out his only surviving heir was also a homosexual and had been deceiving him this whole time- well Petya didn't want to think about what he might take it into his head to do to 'fix' her. He'd murdered his own wife and killed his child as an innocent bystander just for leaving the house too often without his permission.
"Come on, my boy. It is time we spoke with some people who can help us. Time to take responsibility like men. We are going to pay some of my old friends a visit and then we are going to speak with Simon Petrikov. Pray that we are not already too late."