Eyes downcast, I walked. Just another step. Just one more. And then another. It was a mantra in my mind. Just another step.

I was walking down familiar dirt rode. The grass was dead under my feet in the winter wind, the snow having not yet reached this little farming town. I saw the ground incredible detail, more detail than I could process. Not that I had any brainpower to process anything other than putting one foot in front of the other.

Grass crunched dully beside me, my silent bodyguard a shadow in my peripheral. I had not spoken to Barret…or anyone since I woke up in the snow, Fletcher's crying face the first thing I saw. His hands were covered with blood, my blood, and he was shaking my shoulders desperately. He called my name, but I didn't understand. And then…I did.

Memories had flooded my mind in a rush of adrenaline and…I'm ashamed to say I lost it. I broke down in his arms and cried like I had not cried since coming to this world. It was as if every bad experience, every bit of pain and horrible thing I saw came out in a flood of grief and fear. It was…awful. That was how Russel and Barret found us. Upon seeing my state, Barret tore the clearing apart, but found no trace that anyone besides myself had been there. Russel managed to get me and Fletcher to our feet and we made it back to their hotel room.

I left as soon as the sun rose a couple hours later. They tried to ask me what happened, but I wouldn't speak. They tried to come with me, but I wouldn't let them. Only a silent Barret would not be swayed, escorting me to the station and staying by my side like a stubborn bloodhound.

Before the train could leave, Fletcher stopped me from boarding. "Alex," he whispered, trying to catch my eye. I wouldn't look at him. "Alex," he said softly, hurt and worry clear in his voice. "Please, just stay safe."

I brought my eyes up to meet his…and then forced them back down.

"I will," I said haltingly. Russel walked up beside his brother. Gently, he lifted my chin, forcing me to look up. I took in both of them, both boys' expressions worried.

"Promise," Russel said in his husky voice. They both wore identical frowns. "Promise we will see you again."

I stepped back, breaking both eye contact and my link to his emotions. I felt sick to my stomach. "I can't." I didn't know what would happen, but I could feel this all coming to a head, as if something unstoppable was going to happen that would change everything. And I was afraid.

I left. All I knew was, I had to get back to my birth place in this world. I had to get back to the only people who could make any sense of what was going on and maybe find a clue to what actually happened three years ago, the night Edward and Alphonse tried to bring back their mother. I needed to see my brothers.

Jäger shifted in my bag and I pet it softly, bringing myself back to the present. I didn't want to dwell on what happened. I didn't want to remember anything. But I was going to have to relive every horrible moment of it when I reached Pinako's house, because this time I was going to tell my brothers every detail. I had learned my lesson. I wasn't keeping anything from them any longer.

"We are here," Barret said from behind me. I nodded my head and continued walking, not bothering to look up. Then I heard Alphonse calling my name, and I froze where I was.

"Alphonse," I said softly. Five days. It had only been five days since I last saw my little brother. And everything had changed. I had screamed at them, hurt them, destroyed our trust. And yet, there he was, waving and running towards me as if he had actually missed me, as if I had not done anything wrong.

As he got closer, my heart began pounding erratically in my chest, and I had to hold back the urge to run from this place and never look back. But I stood my ground, because despite my fear, I wanted to see him with a painful desperation. I wanted to be home.

He stopped in front of me and my eyes fell to the ground again before he could see them.

"Alex?" His voice sounded so very young, younger even than the last time I had heard it only a week ago. Did he always sound so young? My voice had deepened these past three years, so we no longer sounded identical. Just how had that happened without me noticing?

"Alex, please look at me," Alphonse pleaded. He reached out a hand, but I stepped back swiftly and held up my own.

"Wait." Alphonse paused.

"What's wrong, Alex? Have you…have you not forgiven us yet?" His voice sounded hurt, but there was a slight resignation to it, as if some part of him expected me to say that I had not.

Horror filled me at his soft question. "No," I gasped. "Of course I forgive you. I was the one who did something unforgivable!" My gaze was still glued to the ground. I shook my head but could not force myself to look him in the eye.

"Then why won't you look at me? We forgave you a long time ago. There was nothing to forgive."

My vision grew blurry first disbelief, and then profound relief surged through me at his words. They forgave me. They forgave me..! A tremulous smile came over my face, and I let out a small huff of relief. I guess I never really expected them to hold a grudge. It just wasn't there way. But that had not kept me from being so very afraid that they would never forgive me.

"Alex?" Alphonse took another step forward and I lifted my hand once more to stop him, my smile dropping abruptly. I had to show him. It wasn't like I could hide it, no matter how much I irrationally feared he would think I was disgusting. I took a deep breath…and looked straight into his eyes.

Alphonse gasped. I held his gaze with effort as he examined me, and bit my lip.

"Your eyes…they're purple."

I nodded.

"Did…we do that?"

I shook my head, a lump forming in my throat. "She found me." A shocked silence fell between us, and I knew he knew exactly what I meant. I opened my mouth to say more, but no words came out. The tears slipped down my face and all I could make was a choked sob.

In one great stride, Alphonse took me gently into his arms, and with the contact, into his soul's embrace. I shuddered as his emotions washed over me like a balm, soothing my hurt with his worry and affection and protectiveness. I leaned my forehead into his cool armor and allowed him to comfort me as tears slid silently down my face. For the first time since before we were attacked by that lunatic in Central, I felt safe.

ox0xo

Barret watched the two brothers silently for a few moments, then slipped around them and headed towards the house. He stepped up to the porch and saluted major Armstrong with practiced ease.

"Sir."

"At ease, soldier," Armstrong responded as he took his eyes from the two embracing brothers in the yard.

"Sir, I have orders to deliver Alex Elric to Resembool safely and then to return immediately to Central."

Armstrong nodded, considering. "I take it by this reaction that something happened in Dublith."

Barret dropped his salute and answered without pause. "We were separated, and then he was attacked."

"Do you know by whom?" Armstrong said, his voice rising a bit in alarm.

Barret shook his head, debating on how much he should reveal. He knew Armstrong, and knew that he was trusted by both his commanding officer and colonel Mustang, but he had no idea just how much the major was privy to. He glanced over his shoulder. If this was handled badly, Alex could very well end up in unsavory hands. It had already happened once under his watch, and he didn't feel much like letting it happen again.

"Does this have anything to do with Alex's special circumstances," Armstrong prompted, sensing Barret's hesitation.

Barret turned and considered the man, his eyes narrowed slightly. "You were briefed on the matter?"

Armstrong nodded. "I was sent for the same reason you were."

The black haired man, finding no deceit in the major's eyes, strode up the stairs and sat beside Armstrong on the bench. Succinctly, and as accurately as he could, he told the major of the events that had transpired since they left for Dublith a week ago.

"…He hasn't spoken to me since that night."

"He didn't tell you who did it?"

"No."

Armstrong crossed his arms over his chest and stroked his mustache.

"I think I may know who was responsible."

"And who would that be, sir?"

The major did not answer. Instead, he grunted in the back of his throat and continued to stare into the countryside.

"Return to Central and tell Hughe's what you've found out. Be discreet. We don't want anyone of the wrong ilk getting ahold of this information. This is already way above our heads."

Barret nodded slowly. "The same to you, sir." The Lieutenant stood and put his hat on. He strode down the road, back towards the station, without a backwards glance to Alex. He would be safe here, and the man's thoughts were already immersed in what he had learned.

This was…troubling. If even a major said it was way over their heads, then this, whatever this was, was huge, and had deep roots in the military. A supposition based on what he said, but a likely one. Barret, as a natural investigator, knew when to put his nose down and when to stay the hell out of it. This was one of those times. He quickened his stride. He had a report to make, and Hughes was not going to like this.

ox0xo

I leaned back against Alphonse's cool armor, allowing my roiling emotions to calm. He had pulled me under a tree made me sit against him, projecting his calming emotions through me, just as he had in Xenotime all those months ago. Slowly, it was working, bringing me back from the edge of hysteria. I sincerely hoped that this wouldn't be needed often. I had thought myself stronger than this. As a man, I couldn't just keep breaking down every time someone asked me what happened.

"You know, you are the only one I want to connect to like this," I said, my voice evened out.

"What do you mean," Alphonse asked.

"Ever since I left Central, I have been able to feel everyone who came in contact with me. Not this clearly, but still…their souls intrude on my mind, and I have no idea how to stop it."

"…So, you're connecting with everyone like this?"

"No, thank god. It was only that first time when Edward touched me. That was just as clear as now…I don't project my emotions to them, but I feel what they feel…"

"So it faded after a while, just like last time?"

"Yeah, after about two days. My eyes went back to normal. What didn't fade was my strength and healing ability. I think those might be permanent now."

A complicated mixture of emotions flowed from Alphonse, chief among them remorse. "Alex, I'm–"

"No," I interrupted. "It wasn't your fault. You were just trying to save my life. I would be dead if it wasn't for you two." I closed my eyes and leaned back, absorbing the warm sunlight onto my skin. "None of us could have predicted what happened next."

"…What do you mean? Was there some other effect from the stone?"

"Yeah, I started to…wait, where is Edward," I looked around, confused. "He needs to hear this too."

A sudden stab of worry transferred to me from the boy behind me, and my own alarm spiked. I looked back at him. "Al? What is it? Is he hurt?" A dreadful though impinged on my mind and I grit my teeth. "Was it my fault? Did I hurt him that badly?!"

"NO, no, Alex, calm down!" Alphonse gripped my arms, as if he expected me to bolt. "It was Scar that hurt him. His port was badly damaged. He's just getting it replaced."

For several seconds my body buzzed with adrenaline, and I sat like a tightly wound spring about to go off, but Alphonse projected his calm over me like a soothing blanket. With some effort, I took a deep calming breath and relaxed myself as much as I could, leaning back into him.

As soon as I was capable of speech again, I apologized. "I'm sorry, I'm a little on edge."

"It's okay."

I slumped slightly, discouraged despite his words. I was beginning to think it wasn't. If I lost it in the state I was in now, I could seriously hurt someone. I needed to get a grip and get myself out of survival mode. Is this what post traumatic stress disorder was like? I really hoped I wasn't that far gone.

"If he's just getting his automail refitted, then why are you so worried," I asked, trying to distract myself from those troubling thoughts.

"I'm not really," he looked over to the house and I followed his gaze. "You weren't there the first time he was getting the procedure done. It is extremely painful to get automail fitted. They basically have to reopen the wounds and connect wires directly to his nerves. He has to be awake for it, so it's pretty intense. Also, Scar bent part of the metal into his leg, so it's been scraping against his bone for over a week."

"Ouch," I said. That did not sound like fun at all. "Why did you wait so long to get it fixed? Surely there are other doctors and mechanics in Central."

Al laughed slightly. "Brother wouldn't let anyone but Winry and Pinako tamper with his automail. Says he doesn't trust anyone else."

I shook my head in disbelief. "And I thought I had trust issues."

Al chuckled again, this time a bit more genuine. I pressed myself into him closer, sharing in his warmth. His easy going spirit was something I had missed greatly. Sensing my sudden contentment, Alphonse put an arm around me. "I missed you too," he said, warmth in his voice. "So tell me, your trip couldn't have been all bad. Did anything good happen?"

I smiled slightly against his chest. "Yeah, I met up with the Tringhams."

"Wait, Tringhams as in 'I want to finish our father's research no matter what it takes' Tringhams?"

"Heh, yeah. They turned out to be pretty nice guys once you get to know them."

"Um, my memories might have gotten a little hazy, but weren't they trying to kill us last time we met?"

"Well, yeah, but aren't most people trying to kill us the first time we meet?"

"Touche."

"Anyway, we ended up going in the same direction. We went to Dublith together, and then there was the festival…"

For a while we sat under the tree in the late afternoon and I told him about the good parts of my trip, leaving out the bad. I felt a little cheered to be reminded of the lighter parts of my journey. I pulled out a grouchy Jäger and showed him off, much to Alphonse's surprised exclamations. I showed him the hairpin and talked about the Tringhams–"and somehow Fletcher is three inches taller than me now! I can't wait to tell Ed,"–and shared funny stories about Barret,–"Wait, Orkan has a son?" "I know right?"–and soon enough I realized I had been talking for two hours. It felt good, really good, to talk like this with Alphonse again. I knew it had only been a week, but to me it felt like an eternity. I fell silent with a small smile on my face, looking out into the setting sun.

"Heh, it sounds like you had fun."

"…Yeah." I frowned, my smile dropping off my face slowly. "Listen, I need to talk to you both. When is Edward going to be done with his procedure? I have a lot to tell you." It was nice to talk about the lighter side, but until I could tell them about what happened, I wouldn't get release from the horrible tension built up within me. I needed their help to figure all of this out, and the longer I had to wait, the more wound up I became.

Alphonse sighed and looked over to the silent house. Armstrong was still sitting on the porch, watching the countryside vigilantly. But no one had come out yet. "I don't know…Maybe we should go check."

We stood, and with a shudder, I separated from him, falling back into the dark seclusion of my own mind. Instantly, negative emotions bombarded me once more, seeming to be all the stronger after hours of being held back by Alphonse's gentle soul. I grimaced but bore it stoically, all traces of my good mood gone. Alphonse watched me with concern but did not comment, gesturing for me to follow him to the house. We walked silently up the porch stairs.

As we passed major Armstrong, I smiled and nodded to him. "Armstrong. Thank you for watching over my brothers while I was away."

The older man grinned at me broadly, giving me a sparkling smile. "Of course! They were safe with me, young Elric!"

"Eh, right…" I chuckled slightly at the ever cheerful man before following Alphonse into the warm house.

I turned and shut the door behind me…and then was startled badly as a pair of warm arms grabbed me from behind.

"Alex!"

"GAH, Winry!?"

I turned around in her gripping embrace and was startled to see tears in her blue eyes. Her face was covered in grease stains and grit, and she had deep shadows under her eyes. I looked over at Alphonse helplessly, but he could only offer me a shrug. With a delicate but filthy hand, Winry brushed aside my bangs and placed her palm on my cheek. She looked between my purple eyes and then pulled me in close. "Oh, Alex, what happened to you? What have you gotten yourself into?"

"Winry, what's wrong?" I tried to push her back, feeling a bit besieged by her intense worry, but she would not let me go. She gripped me tighter, as if afraid I would turn into smoke and disappear.

"Russel called me…He said–he said–!"

Oh. OH. This was not good. She didn't know about any of this. Why would Russel do that? "Winry, please, calm down."

"No! He said you were c-covered in blood and that you wouldn't talk to anyone about it!"

"What!" Alphonse gasped. I groaned. This was not how I wanted to have this conversation. "Alex, is that true?!" He grabbed my arm, and suddenly I was channeling them both. I gasped as I was overwhelmed by both souls at once. Alphonse snatched his hand back when he saw my pained expression. "Sorry, sorry! But, Alex! What the heck!" He snapped his eyes to Winry. "Winry, is Ed awake yet?"

The girl nodded, her expression serious. "Yeah, he woke up a few minutes ago, I was just about to go get you."

"We need to talk. Now." Alphonse pulled me away from Winry and strode toward the resting room. Winry followed behind us closely. "Wait!" She said, but Alphonse wasn't listening.

I inwardly panicked. Oh geez, oh geez, this was not going well. I had half a mind to send Russel a very angry postcard for being a meddlesome prick. On the back of a scenic picture of the Eastern Plains it would say 'Gee, Russel, thanks for calling my family and sending them into absolute panic mode. You're my bestest friend ever!'.

"Wait, Alphonse, he's not really–" Winry shouted worriedly.

Heedlessly, Alphonse slammed the door open. "Brother!" He stopped abruptly and I crashed into his back with a grunt. Instantly I could feel his emotions drop like a brick.

I peeked around his shoulder…and my heart sank.

Ed was lying limply on a bed. His hair was matted to his face, slick with sweat, and there were deep shadows under his eyes. He looked exhausted. And weak. Slowly, he turned his head towards the door. His golden eyes were blurred, as if he was barely aware of his surroundings. "Alphonse," he croaked, as if he had lost his voice.

His eyes shifted to me, and then it looked like he stopped breathing. "Alex…" I cringed at the sound of his ragged voice and stepped around our younger brother, still frozen in the doorway, and went to stand beside Edward's bed.

"Brother," I said softly, with a small smile. "You look like hell." I brought my hand to his face to brush his damp bangs aside, but paused before I touched his skin. What if the link between us hadn't faded? I might hurt him…I dropped my hand.

He grabbed it. I inhaled slightly as I felt his muted emotions wash through me. It was as if he was barely conscious. I placed my other hand over his abnormally hot one and leaned down. "I can still feel you…" he said, and my heart sank. I had been afraid of that. I tried to pull away, but he gripped me harder. "Alex…I'm sorry…"

"No, Ed, I…" his hand fell limp within mine and he slipped into unconsciousness. My words caught in my throat as his eyes slid closed.

A gentle hand pulled me back from him and Winry pushed me lightly towards the door. "He's very weak right now. The procedure was painful for him, and he needs to rest. You can talk to him in the morning."

The three of us stepped outside of the room and Winry quietly shut it behind us.

"Is he going to be alright?" Alphonse said worriedly.

Winry nodded. "His leg is nothing but raw nerve caps right now, and I will have to stay up all night to rebuild the new port. Then I will have to attach it. He might not be in any condition to talk seriously for at least another day."

My heart sank at her words. I hummed in resigned acceptance and grabbed Al's hand, leading him away from the door and out of the house.

"Alex, where are we going?"

"We need to go where this all began. There's something you have to know. We'll just have to fill Ed in later." I couldn't wait any more. What I now knew was burning in the back of my mind, and I had to find out if it was the truth or I would sincerely go crazy.

We stepped out into the cold night and headed for my birthplace: the house where Edward and Alphonse grew up.

Hello my loyal readers! Another chapter down. Number 40! Sheesh! I never thought I would make it this far, but here we are. So yeah, we found out a bit about what happened in the aftermath of Alex's attack. He's not doing so hot, and neither is Edward. But he can't wait anymore, so off to the family home they go!

And Alex's empathy powers grow again! We'll find out what that's all about at the fifth lab. Wow, I am really building this up. It's going to be one hell of a finale for the first book when they finally get there.

To those of you that were wondering what Alex looked like, I finally got around to drawing a picture. Sorry about the poor quality, my scanner is broken and I had to use my phone camera. Anyway, that's what he looks like in my head! Hope you like him. I put it up as the cover image.

And shout out to lilaclily00 who drew me some awesome fan art! You are definitely my favorite person right now! It was spot on! Eventually I'm going to find a website to post all of the art for this story. Any suggestions?

Next Chapter: Alex and Alphonse take an unpleasant walk down memory lane and find some clues as to what happened the fateful night Alex was born.

Thanks for sending your love! See you next time!