I try to stick to shorter chapters because I find that I put too much pressure on myself when I try to make them longer. But they're slowly getting longer as we go. At this rate the epilogue will be an entire page! Bahahaha.

There's always a brief moment of my day where the numbness seems to fade. Where I can feel and react and articulate my thoughts without having to work through the fog that seems to take up my mind. As Alice leads me I feel that little bit if lightness take flight. My feet don't drag. My hands don't sway by my side. It's like I have control over my body once again.

And then suddenly he's there, pushing a cart with that ridiculous smile still plastered to his face.

Too-rich-too-perfect-too-fucking-bright sees Alice and I and pushes his cart in our direction. "Well if it isn't my two favorite girls." I manage a glare, and it's a wondrous feeling to be able to react appropriately.

Alice giggles. "Good morning, Hale."

"I was wondering where the two of you went off to this morning."

"Sorry about that," she answers. I can't tell if she's purposefully putting on the charm for him or if she actually means every saccharine word and action that flows from her. I hate it, and I hate her just the tiniest bit because of it. "I was just showing Patient Isabella around."

Hale waves his hand in dismissal. "Not a problem. As it goes, I have your cocktails right here. A bit behind schedule, but better late than never, right?"

He hands Alice a small cup of what Mother called candy from the cart before reaching down and handing me one too. "Everything you're used to Patient Isabella," he says, "With only a minor change is all. One of Dr. Black's special orders."

The cocktail—as they call it here—feels familiar in my hands. Mother has been feeding me this stuff for months now. Ever since the nightmares started. I don't know why they keep giving it to me. The nightmares haven't gone away. They're still there, haunting me every night.

Alice quickly swallows all of hers, and with only a slight hesitation, I follow her lead with a grimace. Orderly Hale claps his hands in joy. "Good job, girls. I have a few more rounds to make now, so I'll be seeing you later."

Patient Mary wiggles her fingers goodbye, watching as he approaches others with their very own special cocktail. It's a blur after that. Nothing really resonates within me except how my stomach growls at its lack of sustenance. But then my hand is holding a tray and there's food on it and I'm at a table with shadows passing by and Patient Mary talking so fast I have no idea what she's saying.

It's always like this. When the cocktail hits my system. Hours can go by and I won't even know it. I wouldn't be able to tell you what happened. Who I saw. What I ate. What I did. Sometimes I'd wake up in the middle of a conversation with my mother, having no idea what she was talking about. Sometimes I'd be walking down the street or in a store, having no idea where I was. Emmett called it Bella Time and laughed at how I couldn't keep things straight.

So it surprises me, that in all this blur, those eyes with so much clarity catch my own. My green savior sits not so far away. His smile is just as loopy as the day before, and I wish I could roll my eyes because it's almost endearing at this point. When I don't look away, he throws me a wink before subtly bending his head and opening his mouth into his palm. Pills of all different colors fall out and he quickly stashes them in his beige pocket.

It's not until much later that day when suddenly the clarity makes sense.