Evening My Lovelies

Gah! This chapter so surprisingly difficult for me to write, hence it's shortness. I'm splitting the talk between our boys between 2 chapters mainly because it took so blooming long to get this bit written that I didnt have time to finish it *pouts* Hopefully you'll still like today's chapter regardless.

Notes On Reviews:

Bombadilo Baby: Thanks for the review - Yeah D'Art's horse is watching out for him. I loved writing Flea's badass moment so I'm really happy you liked it :) We'll get to see a bit of what's going on in D'Art's head today and we'll clear it all up tomorrow. Enjoy the new chapter! x

Katie (Guest): Thanks for the review - D'Art's got some stuff he needs to get off of his chest but he'll be dong better after that :) Enjoy the new chapter! x

fariedragon: Thanks for the review - I just can't help it I love me a cliffhanger (at least when I'm the one writing it lol) :D Enjoy the new chapter! x

Tidia: Thanks for the review - Flea's hoping the King will have mercy on the Court given that they helped turn in those responsible but we'll have to see if that'll be enough. Explanation as to why that particular place for D'Art will be coming tomorrow, didnt have time to write it today :( Enjoy the new chapter! x

pain in the mikta: Thanks for the review - Not entirely sure how I respond to that lol *gives another cookie for good measure* :D Enjoy the new chapter! x

watlocked: Thanks for the review - I just loved writing Flea's scene in that chapter so I'm really happy you enjoyed it :) We might get to see Aramis telling the Captain off when they get back and realize that he's been up and about lol. Enjoy the new chapter! x

Debbie (Guest): Thanks for the review - Huh :( How strange... Hopefully it's fixed itself now so you can see that this has in fact been updated. I have no idea if i've mentioned the place before in a previous chapter, gonna have to check that before I upload tomorrows one in case i give two different explanations for it so thanks for the heads up :) ... Though you'd think I'd remember what goes on in my own story lol. D'Art's got some stuff he needs to get off of his chest but it's beginning to get a bit better for the boy. Enjoy the new chapter! x

Issai: Thanks for the review - Treville definitely appreciates it... It's just whether our dear Louis appreciates it enough to spare the court... Almost wrote spear the court then, that'd be an interesting story twist lol. Oh worry not Claude's gonna get a punch or two VERY soon :D Athos knows he has to talk to the boy but is kinda putting if off as he'll have to be all emotional and open, but he'll get over it and do it tomorrow :) Enjoy the new chapter! x

AmazingWriter123: Thanks for the review - Flea was a bit of a badass yesterday which was loads of fun to write :D I'm beginning to question my naming of Claude... Originally he was just supposed to be a character that was mentioned once so I went with the first french sounding name that came to my head and now that he's kinda the resident jackass in the garrison I feel like he should have a more intimidating or mean sounding name than Claude but too late now. We'll be finding out exactly where they are tomorrow (didnt have time to include it today sorry!) Enjoy the new chapter! x

Lilac Lavender: Thanks for the review - I'm glad our boys arent fighting anymore either, can only have a certain number of brooding/moody musketeers and Athos has permanently claimed one of those spots. Glad you liked the apple moment, i was feeling the need for some fluff :) Flea was quite the badass yesterday wasnt she :D I think she'd be more then willing to punch Claude for his words if he wasnt surrounded by musketeers and a "brother" of Porthos. Etienne she likes thou :) Things are getting a little heated with our pup today and then we'll get the cutesy stuff tomorrow + there'll be another snuggly moment for our boy tomorrow to make up for todays chapter being so short :D Enjoy the new chapter! x

As always much love and many thanks to everyone who follows/favourites/reviews/reads this, love you all!

Enjoy!

xxx

Chapter Fifty-Two: Wayward Brother III

The first thing D'Artagnan noticed when he started to wake was that there were hands on him. Panic welled up in the Gascon as his mind immediately went back to his time in Ortiz's cells in Lupiac. Refusing to be put in that situation again he, without opening his eyes, smashed elbow into the gut of the person touching him.

The groan of pain that followed that however was oddly familiar and whilst suppressing a wince of pain he pushed himself up enough so he could turn to look at who he had hit.

"…Porthos?" D'Artagnan said, his face a picture of tired surprise.

"Bloody hell whelp," grunted the larger man as he rubbed the spot where D'Artagnan had hit him, though his eyes were alight with joy at seeing the young man awake.

D'Artagnan opened his mouth to apologize, his tired mind finally registering that he had hit Porthos instead of the assailant his mind had created when a burst of laughter cut him off.

Turning to face the source of the laughter D'Artagnan's tired eyebrows shot up into his hair as he saw that the laughter was coming from Aramis and Athos and that Aramis had practically collapsed in on himself from laughing too hard.

Porthos scowled at his brothers who were laughing at his expense and after sending a slightly confused D'Artagnan a wink, he picked up a small stone and threw it directly at the two men. The stone hit Aramis on the forehead and the look it created on his face was enough to have Porthos bellowing in laughter.

Sleepily rubbing his eyes D'Artagnan looked at his three brothers before asking, "what are you all doing here?"

"First," Aramis said coming to sit next to him, "Drink this," he said handing the boy a small bowl filled with slightly off coloured water.

D'Artagnan wanted to protest but the hard look in Aramis's eyes warned him against doing so. Instead he took the bowl in his hands and downed the drink, grimacing slightly at the bitter taste it left on his tongue.

Porthos noticed the wounded puppy look the boy was sending to both Aramis and Athos, though both men were a bit oblivious to it at the moments, shaking his head fondly at the boy he ruffled the young man's hair and sent him a reassuring smile when he looked up at him sheepishly.

"How'd you guys find me anyway?" D'Artagnan asked curiously, feeling a bit more alert as the pain draught Aramis had made him drink took effect, numbing the agonizing pain of his wound.

"You've shown me this place before remember?" stated Athos softly, his anger dissipating at the guilty look he had noticed on D'Artagnan's face along with the relief he felt from seeing the boy was fine… Well as fine as he could have been given his wounds.

"Oh," D'Artagnan said, his heart warming at the fact that Athos remembered. He opened his mouth to say more when Aramis had decided he had had enough.

"Why did you leave?" snapped the medic, doing his best not to glare at the boy.

"I – "

"Did you think we wouldn't worry about you?!"

"No I – "

"That we wouldn't come looking for you?!"

"Ara –"

"You shouldn't even be out of bed with an injury like yours. What you were thinking I'll never know. Are we that bad that you couldn't even confide in us at what was troubling you?!"

"What! No! I – "

"Aramis!" exclaimed Athos with a slightly amused tone as he placed a hand on the medic's shoulder in an effort to stop his rant.

Aramis huffed and glared at the swordsman for explanation.

"Maybe let the boy answer your questions before you snap the next one at him?" he suggested with a smirk.

Aramis huffed again and this time turned his gaze back to D'Artagnan, raising an eyebrow to signal that the young man had better start talking soon.

D'Artagnan hesitated a moment in case Aramis was about to start back up with his rant again before he began answering the questions.

"It's not that I didn't… don't trust you enough to confide in you it's just…" D'Artagnan began, a slight pink tinge gracing his cheeks as he tried to explain himself. Looking up at his brother imploringly he added, "You guys are so sure of yourselves, of where you belong and what you need to do and I…" sighing he added, "I just feel like everything I do ends up with one of you getting hurt or needing to come to my rescue. How am I supposed to serve as one of the King's elite guard if I can't even protect myself?!"

The medic's anger vanished as he listened to the young Gascon's heartfelt words and despite very much wanting to jump in and respond to what he had said, the Spaniard knew the boy needed to get this all off his chest first.

"I knew my leaving would probably worry you and I'm so sorry it did but I needed to get away… To clear my head and think about if I really deserve the commission I was given."

"Whelp," began Porthos, stopping when Aramis raised a hand to silence him and to let the Gascon continue.

"I was planning to come back when I had decided… I just …" D'Artagnan coughed embarrassedly, "fell asleep."

Both Aramis and Porthos chucked at the full blush now staining their brother's cheeks.

"Still doesn't explain why you felt the need to leave without saying anything to any of us." Athos said stoic, his stare firm and hard, as he silently demanded the Gascon answer the question.

"You'd try to stop me," D'Artagnan shrugged sheepishly, now realizing how badly he had messed up and how much he had worried the three men before him.

"You're injured!" snapped Aramis, his anger at the boy's foolishness returning in full force and, as if to prove his point he lightly poked D'Artagnan's damaged hand, causing him to hiss in pain and glare at the Spaniard.

"Let alone the fact that Ortiz and his men are still out there," growled Athos.

D'Artagnan hung his head and tried to blink away the tears that were threatening to spill over.

"It was completely irresponsible of you. Ortiz has targeted you more than once in the past and you know full well how much he would like to be the one to break you and you just left yourself completely vulnerable and open to him!" snapped Athos, not noticing how his words had set D'Artagnan on the defensive until the boy's temper had finally had enough of being contained.

"DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT!" screamed D'Artagnan; jumping to his feet despite the inferno of pain it caused him. Athos noticed the look of pain that flashed across his face and instantly regretted his words.

"Don't you think I know that Ortiz would like nothing more than to kill me in the most painful way he knows how? And you forget, I was there with him in Lupiac for at least a week before you all showed up. I know full well what he's capable of!" Snarled the Gascon.

All three musketeers opened their mouths to try to say something to their brother but D'Artagnan wasn't done yet.

"I can't even sleep without being back there! Every. Single. Time!" growled the Gascon, the pain and hurt in his voice silencing any retorts from his brothers.

"It's been months and the nightmares haven't stopped so I'm sorry if I needed to get away for a while!"

Athos looked guilt stricken as he realized he hadn't noticed the obvious pain D'Artagnan was in.

"I'm tired Athos," sighed the Gascon and his brothers could clearly see the exhaustion crushing him. "The only time I rest is when Aramis drugs me and then they don't let me wake up so I'm forced to replay watching you all get tortured because of me!"

Aramis went so pale at D'Artagnan's words that his brothers feared he might faint. He could tell by the look in D'Artagnan's eyes that the boy didn't blame him but was just sick of being afraid to sleep… Something the Spaniard could easily relate to.

"I just" sighed D'Artagnan, sinking back to his knees as his energy levels dropped. "I just want to sleep!" he cried, "I just want to forget Ortiz ever happened but being in the garrison, around all the whispers, pitying looks and accusations… They all think I don't hear or see them but I do and it - it just got too much… I don't want the accusations to be right but the less I sleep the more time I have to think about them and I can't help but think that maybe they're right… That Ortiz was right."

At that Aramis had had enough and flung himself at the boy, bringing the now crying Gascon into a tight embrace, something the two other musketeers' quickly joined.

"Don't say that," whispered Aramis as he hugged the trembling Gascon tight to his chest. "It's not true so don't think it. Not for a second." Pulling away from the boy slightly he looked him dead in the eyes, "Okay?"

"But – "

"Okay?" the three musketeers said as one.

D'Artagnan laughed a little at the face they pulled at speaking in unison but nodded weakly when they glared at him.

"You deserve the commission you earned D'Artagnan," Athos said seriously, his hand squeezing D'Artagnan's shoulder "You protected someone who wasn't in the position to defend themselves whilst getting justice for a crime against yourself."

"Yeah?" scoffed D'Artagnan, sniffing as he angrily wiped the evidence of tears from his face. "And what have I done since then? Oh yeah, almost got you all killed!"

"Coming to find you was our choice," Porthos jumped in, hating the self-loathing he was hearing in D'Artagnan's voice. "You hold no blame for what happened from that choice."

"What do we have to do to get you to believe that?" Sighed Aramis softly as he stroked D'Artagnan's hair.

D'Artagnan subconsciously leaned into Aramis touch as he mumbled, "s'not you. It's everyone else."

"What do you mean?" Athos asked gently, doing his best to keep the anger out of his voice at the notion that someone, besides Ortiz, had kept this thought in D'Artagnan's mind.

D'Artagnan shrugged tiredly; the few hours' sleep he managed to get before the musketeers found him wasn't enough for his body to keep up with the whirlwind of emotions he was dealing with. "People at the garrison," he admitted sadly, "That's what I mean… How am I supposed to be a musketeer if people in the regiment can't trust me to have their backs?"