"You're not wearing the necklace," was Zhao's form of greeting when he came to escort me to a party.
One of Li Mei's parties.
"Good evening to you too.
His frown deepened.
We hadn't discussed the Agni Kai, and it seemed as though he never wanted to. The audience had been surprisingly tight-lipped about the event.
He probably threatened them.
"Go put it on."
"I left in the capital. And even if it didn't, it doesn't fit this high collar."
Frankly, he should be grateful I didn't rip it to shreds or set it on fire like everything else.
He moaned as if he were the one being married off against his will and offered an arm to me in the most irritated manner possible.
I'm nearly seventeen, and I'm engaged to a five-year-old.
I took it despite this, tuning out anything he might have said—probably something about wearing a lower neckline—as we travelled to Li Mei's beach manor. The other party-goers would offer me no relief. Zhen had been invited out of courtesy, but she was glued to Maylin's side. There might be some girls from the academy, but they were somehow still under Li Mei's thumb and the status quo she determined. Even those who typically weren't had been avoiding me for several months out of… jealousy? For my swift engagement? No. Barely any of them were petty enough for that.
The young noblemen there would probably avoid Zhao and me out of guilt. Many of them—who either hated Zhao or didn't know him—had blatantly tried to flirt with me in my "fiance's" absence. No matter how many of them I slapped, they would still glance at me in a way that made my skin crawl and fingernails itch from a desire to scratch out their eyeballs. The engagement protected me in some ways but endangered me in others, especially considering how many wanted revenge against Zhao without having to firebend.
Still, it felt like there had to be another reason for my name to be whispered in gossip as often as it was… Zhao was infuriating, but he couldn't have THAT many enemies. It couldn't have been about Ozai either. If it was, they would've been much more scared to even look at the woman their Fire Prince loved.
I miss my servant robes.
"Ursa, darling!" was Li Mei's form of greeting when we entered the parlor.
She threw her arms around me with such swiftness that I couldn't block her. Every muscle in my body tensed until I realized she was NOT trying to strangle me.
"Hello…?"
"The musicians got here early so we're going to dance first," she declared, pulling back from this inexplicable embrace only to tug Zhao and me onto the dance floor.
With all the chaos and noise and quickness, I couldn't have named any of the couples there despite the fact there wasn't a noble on the island whom I didn't know, and despite the fact Li Mei only spoke to other nobles.
"May I have this dance?" the wrong firebender asked without asking, taking my left hand in his right and resting his left on my waist.
He was stiff to begin with, but our total lack of connection made it even more awkward. Our feet couldn't move to the correct beat. I stepped on his toes again and again with only half of them on purpose. He never flinched. He never stopped staring down at me, and his gaze never stopped burning. The steely flames seemed determined to brand me through sight alone.
I loathed having to dance with him. I loathed having to dance with anyone other than Ozai. I loathed the weight of his gaze and his touch on—
"If you lower your hand one more inch, I will scream at the top of my lungs."
He didn't lower it, but he did pull me closer. I turned away, almost coughing on the smokiness of his breath. This only seemed to encourage him.
"Do you have any idea how magnificent you are?" he asked with a sigh of longing, spinning me out as if to take me in all the more. "Absolutely breathtaking."
So I told him what my old teacher said.
"Was your teacher blind? Surely he could not have seen this face without deeming it priceless."
His hand flew to my chin, but I jerked it away. I would rather be forced to rest my head on his shoulder than allow more of his unnatural skin to touch mine.
"My teacher is a woman."
"Well, that explains it then."
"What are you saying? Women can't appreciate beauty?"
Not that I'd classify my face as deserving universal appreciation.
"Not in the way men… appreciate," he hissed and suddenly yanked me closer to him.
"You're depraved," I hissed back with a final grunt and shove of disgust, breaking away to temporary freedom.
He just laughed as I stormed off.
Will this never end?
"Dinner!" Li Mei managed to project without raising her voice in an unladylike way.
One more hour, I told myself as I dragged my feet into the dining room. One more hour… Oh wonderful.
Li Mei had seated me across from Zhao, of course, and right next to her.
She also had a terrifyingly enthusiastic gleam in her eye.
What does she have up those billowed sleeves of hers? Daggers? Poison?
I'm going to die tonight, aren't I?
I didn't eat very much, just in case, and Zhao seemed much more interested in the beverages. I never spoke unless spoken to, and I mostly tuned Li Mei's "charm" out until I realized what her endgame was.
"You make such a lovely couple. I so admired your dancing, though it can't quite compare to that night with the Fire Prince. But then, they've known each other so much longer. I'm sure it's easier with all that history and chemistry—"
"The Fire Prince?" Zhao asked before I could change the subject.
"Oh, yes!" she gloated as I twisted a napkin into knots underneath the table.
Half an hour…. Half an hour…
"She was his royal playmate for all those years, you know. How old were you when you started?"
I couldn't choke out the answer, but that couldn't slow Li Mei down.
"I can't imagine His Highness had access to that many other children, and you're clearly still close. When I saw you two talking at the end of the season, well, I thought my eyes deceived me and that Lieutenant Zhao was back. Such a silly mistake on my part. Just because you were standing so close. Still, who would have thought the Avatar's granddaughter would be Fire Prince Ozai's best friend?"
I suddenly understood the gossip. The stares. The sheltered whispering.
Li Mei, desperate to deflect attention off of me and back onto her, had made it her sacred duty to inform every noble in the nation of my lineage and, indubitably, to insinuate Zhao was the only willing to marry me because of it.
After all, why else would my father be so quick to marry me off?
Zhao was chugging his goblet at this point, fuming with additional hate for a certain prince as a suspicion seemed confirmed, and I ran out of ideas. I couldn't hope to recover any of my family's honor after Li Mei had been smearing it for who knew how long. I couldn't dissuade Zhao of his envy, even if I wanted to. I couldn't focus on anything other than my desire to be swept into the comfort of those arms again.
"I don't feel very well," I announced, projecting so that everyone could hear me and know that Zhao heard me too. "I would like to go home."
"I'll take you," he offered, rising but refusing to meet my gaze.
I maintained my volume level.
"No, thank you. That's unnecessary. I'd prefer to have—" I began, searching the crowd for a friendly face before I realized none were present.
"Don't be absurd," he hissed, grabbing me by the arm and not even bothering to thank the hostess. "Don't you think you've mortified me enough?" he whispered, still like a viper.
We were halfway home before I could finally squirm out of his grasp.
"Lieutenant, stop!" I ordered, rubbing my arm after it was nearly pulled from its socket.
"Do you always address your precious Ozai by his title?" Zhao half-growled and half-slurred. "What I wouldn't do to hurt him half as much as he's…" His eyes ran along the length of my gown, and he lurched towards me.
I bolted out of his reach and towards the empty marketplace, but I wasn't fast enough.
Zhao grabbed me from behind and threw me against a wall.
If the requirement for self-defense classes had been just a little longer, I would've been able to break his hold, but I couldn't even think as his hands flew to my collar.
"Get off of me!"
"Let me see that blasted neck," he roared in my ear, tearing the fabric to first reveal my neck, but he intended to uncover a lot more than that. "Or is that something you only reserve for him, my darling?" he hissed, much softer and much more menacing.
I tried to close the fabric back, but he pinned both of my wrists to the wall with his hands. Then his hips crashed against my stomach, pinning the rest of my body as well and leaving me no room to dig either my knee or my foot into his… area below the belt.
There was just enough time for my panic to seize my heart as a possible realization my greatest, unspeakable fear loomed over me.
His mouth crashed against her lips.
He tasted of smoke.
And his hand crawled to her neck.
There was no time for me to react.
Zhao was ripped off of me before I had time to blink.
Ozai.
I didn't roar or rage. I didn't fume or glare or scream.
But I looked Zhao dead in the eye as I burned both of his cheeks.
"Your engagement is over," I informed him, totally in control on the surface and totally at peace inside as he screamed and screamed. Kneeling down, I whispered out of her earshot but well within his, "If you touch her again, if you speak to her again, if you even say. her. name again, I will burn and flay your flesh until death is your sweetest dream."
I would have cried if I'd been able to breathe, but I couldn't. I kept gasping for air that didn't seem to come. I crumbled against the wall and tried to fill my quivering lungs.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, your highness, I'm sorry," Zhao groveled and sobbed while the prince came over to me.
My prince.
I helped her stand back up, and she threw her arms around my neck. I held her close and didn't loosen until I realized what I had to say. Everything else faded away, even Zhao's weeping, as my eyes met hers.
Even then, in the midst of so much darkness, they were lights that pierced and ignited my very soul.
And left no room for doubt.
"I love you, Ursa," Ozai said.
Standing with the crying, newly burnt enemy at our feet.
Only I could have found that situation romantic.
"You said it first," she chuckled with an ear-to-ear grin and glistening eyes.
Sixteen. So naïve. Such a warped view of love. So blind to how worrisome…
But still in love. Still SO in love with that prince and his golden gaze that penetrated me to the core.
I embraced her as a servant stumbled upon our scene. Motioning for him to take Zhao away, the lieutenant stumbled off to receive medical care. He would eventually grow some serious sideburns to hide the permanent shame.
Ozai walked me home, holding my hand and gazing at the stars.
Every aspect of that night is engrained on my memory. Permanent and unforgettable. The sand in our sandals. The salty sea air in our noses. I've named every constellation twice. Even the stars in isolation found a home in my mind.
But mostly I remember the way she walked. The sound of her feet slapping the ground. The way her hand fit mine like a perfect puzzle. How her hair felt on my shoulder. Nothing at all like mine. So much… softer and cooler and smoother. Purer somehow. Like the crystalline ring of her laugh. The luminescence of her skin in the moonlight… Brighter than the moonlight. She was a whole new kind of brightness. Of flawed flawlessness. Of shining eyes storing the stars.
It was one perfect night.
Before the sun rose.
Obviously, Zhao probably couldn't grow sideburns over scar tissue, but let's pretend he can.