Mustang stared numbly at me as I brushed past and into his home without invitation. Feeling distinctly nervous but hoping he had enough of a sense of humor to let me stay, I toed off my shoes and slipped inside, taking in the familiar sight of his sitting room. The last time I had been here I was nothing more than a wreck, but the space felt comfortably familiar to me anyway.

The door clicked shut, causing me to jump , but I continued to casually remove my coat, revealing my emerald undershirt. I turned around with a bright grin, leaning back against the mahogany couch and crossing my arms. "I hope you don't mind, but I got a dry red. You seemed to enjoy it last time, so I picked up another bottle."

The man's dark eyes flicked to the bottle in his hand, and then his gaze fixed back on me. I shifted uncomfortably, but didn't drop my smile with some effort. Roy clearly wasn't expecting company. His shirt was unbuttoned halfway, leaving his throat and the top of his chest bare. His button down was untucked, and resting lightly over a loosened pair of lounge pants. Bare toes poked out from under the long bottoms, and his hair was ruffled messily.

"Alex, what are you doing here?" I grimaced slightly at his tone. He sounded surprised an annoyed. Oh well, too late for regrets now. I widened my eyes innocently.

"Why, visiting my favorite colonel in Central! Didn't you miss me?"

Roy's frown deepened in suspicion, clearly not impressed. The smile slipped off my face, like so much suds on a wet surface, and my shoulders slumped. I sighed deeply, looking down at the floor with a depressed frown. "Ed and Al are at the library researching stuff, and I'm a completely useless idiot who couldn't read through a geography book, much less help them understand complex concepts of alchemy."

"Ahuh," Roy grunted skeptically. "And you are here because…?"

"Ah, Roy, aren't you happy to see me?" When he didn't respond other than to lift a fine brow, I bit my lip. He was going to throw me out, I could just feel it. "I'm here because…you are the only one who treats me like I'm…You're the only one who knows…" I trailed off, gesturing vaguely at myself. He remained unmoved. I slumped and looked away. Man, I was making a mess of this. Rejection clenching at my gut, I reached for my coat. "Sorry, I'll just…"

I threw my coat over my arm and hastily began to walk towards the door, my eyes glued to the floor. However, I was stopped by a deep sigh, and suddenly his voice was loud and teasing.

"You know, If I didn't know any better, I would say you were propositioning me."

Eyes widening, I looked up at the taller man hopefully. Mustang was still looking at me blankly, a thin eyebrow lifted, but the corner of his mouth twitched in a resigned, yet amused smirk. His earlier tenseness was melting from his shoulders even as I watched and relief bubbled up within me.

"And I would say you're hallucinating."

Snatching the coat from my arms, Roy hung it on the rack beside the others and ran his hand through fine black hair. With a resigned lift of his brows, he gestured me back inside and walked around the bar and into the kitchen. An absentminded flick later, and the white light of the kitchen turned on. He lifted two wine glasses from a top shelf of a cabinet.

Still feeling relieved but vaguely awkward, I followed him inside the warm space and sat on the other side of the bar, the tall leather topped bar stool comfortable beneath me. Resting my arms on the counter, I watched the older man as he popped the seal on my little gift with practiced ease, pouring himself a glass. Just like I had hoped he would, without a second thought he poured one for me as well.

inhaling deeply, I looked down at my long overdue drink, swirling it and taking in the sweet aroma. I pulled my leg up to my chest and leaned against it in contentment, relaxing into the seat. The lights dimmed to a soft orange glow, catching my attention. Mustang had turned off the sterile kitchen light and switched to the yellow teardrop lights over the bar. The man sat beside me with a huff, leaning against the counter, almost ignoring me completely.

"You just have to do everything with style, don't you?" I teased lightly.

"Would you like some mood music? I've got jazz," Mustang said with a straight face. I blushed hotly, not entirely sure if he was joking.

"You know, If I didn't know any better, I would say that you were putting the moves on me."

His thin lips pulled up into an attractive smirk. "Good thing you know better."

"Heh."

The room fell quiet for a little while. The fire crackled merrily behind us, warming our backs and making the room almost too toasty, a sharp contrast to the frigid winds outside the drawn curtains. I brought the wine to my lips and took a liberal mouthful, holding the drink in the back of my mouth for a moment to appreciate the fruity, almost bitter quality before swallowing. Feeling it warm my stomach, I let out a breathy exhale slowly, my cheeks heating as I rode out the dry finish.

"It's funny," I began softly, still avoiding looking up, "that this world can be so very different from my own, and yet little things like wine can be exactly the same."

"Are our worlds so very different?"

I smiled faintly, thinking over the question. Were they so different? The people weren't, not really. Men and women went about their daily lives trying to make a living doing what have you. The political situation was unstable, but that was the case in my own world as well. It didn't matter where you were from, the world was always on the outbreak of one war or another; whether about religion or power or fear, it didn't matter. No, in that respect, the two worlds were the same; the common man just trying to live in peace while the powers that be struggled for dominance. So much was the similar: the buildings, the shops, the way we all perceived the world around us, the love between brothers. I may have been involved in some pretty messed up stuff, but that didn't mean that genetic experimentation, bio-warfare, and the development of mass weapons of destruction didn't happen in my world.

My expression turned bitter. I was being awfully pessimistic tonight. "For one thing," I said, trying to keep it light, "where I come from, it's not legal to drink until you turn twenty one. So that's one point for Amestris."

Mustang grunted in the back of his throat, his shoulders lifting casually. "Speaking of, how did you manage to get a Fortissimo? I know for a fact that no one within twenty miles would sell to a thirteen year old kid."

"Fourteen," I corrected automatically, taking a hearty swig of wine and deliberately avoiding his question. Exhaling as if I was smoking a cigar instead of partaking in a drink, I lay my head on my knee and smirked up at him. "And I'll be fifteen in the spring."

Mustang lifted a brow, looking at me askance. "Really. I could have sworn your files say your birthday is in the summer."

"Change it for me?" I widened my eyes and blinked rapidly, trying to look as cute as possible.

Roy chuckled at my expression, but didn't answer my request. "You know, that doesn't really work all that well unless you are a woman."

Pouting , I swirled my drink. "I used to be. Doesn't that count for anything?"

"Right now? No."

"Hmph…Guess I'll have to work on my masculine charm then…"

Another lull in the conversation, then Mustang's expression became serious, our easy mood disappearing just like that. "So, you ran into a bit of trouble in Dublith." It was a statement rather than a question, as if he knew my every move. And perhaps he did. That thought was slightly unsettling.

"Where did you hear that," I mumbled, noncommittally.

"I didn't have to hear it. It's written all over your face."

"What!" I ran my hands over my face, as if expecting to find a sticky note that said 'I had a bloody affair with a homunculus' on it.

"Your eyes." Catching my expression fall in realization –I had completely forgotten that inconvenient detail– he tried to assuage my fears somewhat. "Don't be too concerned. The color isn't that unusual in this country. You might come up with a reason for the change, though."

And how exactly was I supposed to do that, I thought with a sinking feeling. I was pretty sure people's eye color didn't just change on a whim in this world, though it was nice to know the light purple color wasn't so unusual. At least they didn't turn red this time, like it did when I had consumed the impure red stones. This color, at least, wouldn't cause alarm, either by freaking me out or making people think I'm Ishvalan. That was a whole can of worms I just didn't want to be involved in. "I don't suppose you people have invented colored contacts, have you?" That statement only got me a strange look. "Guess not."

Frustration filled me to the brim, despite how I tried to hold it back. If these strange alterations kept happening to me, then my secret would only get harder to keep. If Mustang could somehow deduce what happened to me in Dublith, then that meant that someone else in the military might figure it out as well. And that might be a problem. I couldn't help but think of Ed's warning to me earlier that day. It had served as a reminder that not all in the military were my friends.

As if sensing my thoughts, the man continued. "Alex, I can't help you if you don't tell me what happened."

"I thought you knew everything."

He shot me a look and his voice turned a tad sharp. "If I knew everything, I would have known you were going to intrude on my evening and I would have worn something a little nicer."

Abashed, I hid my blush by taking a long drink of wine. "You really are an arrogant bastard, you know that? What makes you think it's any of your business? You remind me so much of the man I used to love that it makes me sick." I wanted to do anything but talk about what happened in Dublith. Again. If he wanted to find out so bad, he could ask his bloody spy network.

Mustang, seeming to realize that I was in no mood to talk about it, dropped the subject, though I knew this wouldn't be the end of that particular conversation. "What do you mean, the man you used to love? Is he the one you told me about," he said casually, trying to distract me. It worked.

I paused, taken aback by his sudden question. And taken aback by what I had said. Used to love? Did I no longer love the man who I was bound to marry in my other life? "Yes," I said slowly. "I suppose I don't. I mean, I will always love him, but…" But how could you still be in love with someone you haven't seen in years? People change. I had changed. I was no longer the same easygoing Alexandria he fell in love with; I had been through too much. Seen too much. And there was no guarantee that he waited for me after…whatever happened to the real me.

"Will you tell me about him," Mustang said, lifting my empty glass off the counter and refilling it.

"You…want to hear about my love life," I asked, dubious.

"Not in particular." He handed the glass back and poured the rest of the bottle for himself. "But talking about your past can sometimes help you figure out what to do in the future."

I rolled my eyes. "There you go again, oh wise one. You should start charging for advice like that."

"What can I say, I have a gift."

I drank half the drink in two long drafts, exhaling sharply and setting it down. "Alright, wise guy, you asked for it. One boring life's story, coming up." I tilted my head, feeling pleasantly buzzed, and considered the best way to explain my origins without getting into cultural explanations that would confuse him. "I was born into your average middle class family, I suppose. My mom, dad, and a few close friends were my entire world, and I liked it that way."

"Despite the hopes of my parents, I was terrible at school. It's not like I didn't like it, I just didn't think it was for me, not when my talents lied in physical sports. 'Brain like a sieve', as my mom would say." I chuckled a bit a the memory of her exasperated nagging. "So I dropped out as soon as the education required by law was fulfilled. The only thing I really excelled at was martial arts, so I thought, why fill my head with all of this science and math nonsense when I could be learning how to throw a man three times my size across the room?"

At this, Mustang laughed, shaking his head. "Really? Three times your size?"

"You bet. I may have been small, but I had an attitude a mile wide and I knew where to hit where it hurts." I glared at him until he stopped laughing, although that damnable smirk never went away. "Anyway, when I dropped out of higher education, much to the displeasure of my father, I suddenly had more time on my hands than any one person needs. And that meant trouble."

"I can only imagine."

"You got that right. Let me tell you, there is nothing more destructive than a self entitled eighteen year old who is bored." This earned me another laugh, this time appreciated. "I guess being born in a family so close knit as mine, I sometimes felt stifled by the expectations. You know, 'become a lawyer, make lots of money', all that jazz. So, naturally, I rebelled."

"Naturally."

"Heh." Eyes glazed, I stared up at nothing in particular, thinking back. "Drinking, smoking, sleeping around, taking the odd job and dropping it on a whim, I went through the whole black pit of teenage rebellion. I'm pretty sure I would have eventually self-destructed if it wasn't for him." I gulped the rest of my wine down, thoroughly appreciating the sense of ease that came with being inebriated. "Kyle, the son of a bloody banker. He was arrogant, rude, and one of the most beautiful men I had ever laid eyes on."

"That doesn't sound like a man who would turn your life around," Mustang commented, drooping himself. Whether it was out of exhaustion or drink, I couldn't tell.

"Ha," I snorted derisively. "He didn't, not at first. We hated each other's guts. But to make a long and involved story short, our passionate hate inevitably turned into passionate attraction. And then I got pregnant a year later." Before that, I recalled fondly, our relationship had been pretty wild. But she… "She was what finally brought us both down to earth. Or rather, the thought of her…" I smiled sadly. "The thought of being a parent. You know, I actually saw the ring he was going to propose to me with. Idiot hid it in his sock drawer." I hid my face in my arm, my vision swimming and not entirely certain I wouldn't cry. It had been a long time since I thought of my family, and what could have been, and while bringing it up wasn't as painful as it used to be, it still hurt.

The sad thing was, I still held on to the desperate hope that someday I would be able to return to that life. But the more time that passed, the more I began to believe in my heart that it was an impossible dream. How could I return when so much time had been lost? No matter how much my family or Kyle had loved me, there was only so long a heart could wait for someone to return before that place was lost forever. And no matter how much I cried, there was no way for an unborn child to stand still in time.

And it wasn't only that. It was me. I was different. This world, with all of its violence and dark secrets, had ruined me for a peaceful life. Just like a soldier returning from a bloody war, I would forever be haunted by the things I had seen, and the things I had done. And I had a dreadful feeling that the worst had not yet come to pass.

"Do you really think they can do it, Roy," I said softly, my voice muffled by my sleeve. "Do you really think they can take back what they lost and make things right again?"

For a long time, the older man didn't answer. We sat in the heavy silence of the room, the fire crackling behind us and warming our backs. But the heat could not reach my frozen heart as I waited for Roy to tell me that everything would be alright, and that Edward and Alphonse would succeed and magically make the world perfect and beautiful again. But, of course, Mustang was not that kind of man.

"I don't have any easy answers for you Alex," he said in his deep voice. "The path you three have chosen is not an easy one. The road will be long and hard, and obstacles stand in your path that won't be easy to overcome. You just have to have faith."

My eyes stung, and anger bubbled up within me as his words did nothing to ease my disquiet. "I didn't choose this," I said harshly.

"Maybe not at first," he said firmly, voice steady in the face of my ire, "but you chose to stick with them. You chose to believe in them, and that there was a way to make things right again. You could have just given up and got on with your life or ended it, but you didn't. It's not in your nature."

I lifted my head to find that he was facing me, his dark eyes compelling. "How would you know," I asked weakly, my voice breaking from emotion. "You don't know me."

He looked down and away, a self deprecating smirk on his features. "I know you better than you think. Because you're just like me."

The words stopped me from making the scathing comment that was ready on my lips and it stuck in the back of my throat, choking me. I remembered what he had told me, only a week ago, about his experiences in the war. How he had done things under orders that haunted him and he had thought himself unforgivable in the face of his sins, how he had lost his humanity. And how he had almost given up, pulled the trigger and ended it all.

Had he felt the same choking misery I had when I believed I had lost everything, including myself? Had he felt the same guilt and madness that almost destroyed me?

Yes, I could see it in his eyes like a dark reflection. And yet he pulled through, stronger than before, because he believed there was a way to make it right. By finding a purpose–becoming the Furer and stopping the wars from ever happening again– he was on his way to redemption, and to making things better.

"My purpose…is to help Ed and Al get their bodies back. Because, even if I can never return to the way I was…they still have so much to live for."

"…Have you given up on yourself? Do you really believe there is no good ending for you?"

"No one can reverse time, Mustang," I said, feeling suddenly ancient. "You of all people should know that." And time was my enemy, in every sense of the word. Because even if by some miraculous happenstance Marcoh's notes held the magical means of getting my soul returned to my world, this body I inhabited now had an expiration date, and none of us knew when it would cease to function. By taking the red stone, I might be able to live longer, but in doing so in the knowledge of how it was made, I truly would lose my humanity, and not even my memories of being Alexandria would save me from that madness.

And there was no way on this foreign earth I was going to wait around for Lust to turn me into a monster like her.

The colonel had no response to that, and I could see in his face that he knew I was right. "Hey, Roy?" He grunted, swallowing the last of his drink with a scowl. "Will you promise me one thing? Promise me that…if anything happens to me, you'll take care of my idiot brothers."

Mustang shot me a look, his brow furrowed almost angrily. But in contrast, his tone became light and teasing, sounding so strange in the serious atmosphere that I was taken completely off guard by what he said next. "Why, Alex, that sounds an awful lot like a goodbye. Are you breaking up with me?"

"Hah!" I slapped my hand over my mouth as laughter bubbled up, thoroughly surprised by his sudden change in demeanor. I lifted my hand, threatening to smack him, and he cringed back mockingly. "Heh, as if you could get rid of me that easily, Colonel Mustang." I smiled softly, all signs of playfulness gone. "Thank you…for listening." I stood, swaying slightly from drink, and began making my way to the door. I had stayed long past any decent hour, and it was time for me to go.

Roy followed me. "Do you need an escort home?"

I laughed softly. "I'm not a woman anymore, remember," I joked. He just looked at me sternly. "I'll be fine. There is hardly anything left in this world that could be a danger to me now," I said with bitterness.

Mustang stared at me for a long moment with his dark, unreadable eyes. But then he handed me my coat and opened the door without further protest.

Pulling it on, I stepped out into the freezing night, taking a deep sobering breath. The cold stung my lungs, but cleared my head effectively. Before I could leave, the dark haired man stopped me with his voice.

"Alex. You have my word." I paused, glancing back over my shoulder. Mustang was leaning against the doorframe, all disheveled clothes and flushed cheeks, looking every bit the playboy he seemed. But the command and conviction in his tone were every bit the man and leader I knew him to be. Suddenly, he smiled roguishly. "Next time you want to stop by, call first." With that last, he stepped back into his house and closed the door, leaving me smirking in the snow.

Ah, that was kind of a Sam Gamgee moment, wasn't it? You know, "How could the ending possibly be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was after so much bad had happened?" Heh, that was a good movie. Well, now we know why Alex likes alcohol so much. He was a partier! Haha.

Next chapter: Alex learns some new ways to control his strength, and Edward and Alphonse learn a terrible truth that just might break them all.

To those of you that are sticking with me, thanks! To those of you that have fallen off the face of the earth, I miss you! To my new readers, welcome!

Extended author's note if you are interested. Warning: long, so if you are baking cookies, you might skip it.

Before I go any further in this story, I want to address something in the area of romance and gender identity. Alex is in a very complex and nearly unprecedented character. His soul is of a woman in her mid-twenties, his body appears to be in its early teenage years, but his physical age is only three. If you will recall, I did this on purpose in the very beginning because I found the idea of someone with no social precedent intriguing. I also loved the fact, for drama's sake, that he was taken away from strong familial commitments.

Not only is his soul of a sexually and emotionally experienced woman, but one who was about to be a mother and wife. In that respect, it would only make sense that he would be attracted to older men his same mental age. At the same time, he appears to be fifteen, and has become a young man. With that comes the pressures of Amestris's beliefs in who is appropriate for a young man that age to be romantically involved with, compounded by Alex's own ingrained beliefs of propriety. And then, he's actually only physically three. But even if that was a known fact, he would not be restricted by what was perceived as appropriate for a toddler, because he does not appear to be a toddler. Hm, very tricky indeed. There is no way, no direction to turn in that would not break some social norm or other. While I do not intend to make romance a major theme in this story (that's what one-shots are for), it is very possible that Alex will fall in love with another character, IF it feels natural for the flow of the plot. And there is no appropriate choice that would not offend someone or other, both in the story and real life.

Just so you know, I'm not out to make some big political statement or sway anyone one way or the other. I'm doing this for fun, and because I think it is interesting. I will write it in a way I think the character I have built would really react and it will be interesting to see the kinds of responses I will get no matter which way Alex chooses.

On another note, for the sake of my continued creativity, I will be writing a series of one shots featuring SubSoul verse that will focus on romance and missing moments that didn't necessarily happen in my story. Basically I will just let my imagination and my characters go wild, completely unrealistic to this plot, but fun anyway. It will range from explicit romance to funny cracks, so there will be something for everyone. There will be warnings at the beginnings of explicit chapters, so if you have virgin eyes or don't like a pairing, you can just skip those and go on to the next. I certainly won't be offended. These will just be for me to both answer some of my reviewers' wishes and exercise my crazy muse so I can finish this trilogy without going mad. I'm going to start with some that have already been mentioned in reviews and go from there, so if you really want to see something happen, just let me know.

Anyway, I will never write another AN this long again. See you next time!