Author's note: as always I don't own Undertale and its characters that belongs to Toby Fox. This story hit me like a freight train. I just had to write it down before I forgot it. This based on my personal opinion of the Soriel ship. I've always pulled for ships that aren't one note or only have one thing in common as the only thing holding the relationship together. That's soriel as a ship is to me. It feels like the relationship would become a mom dating her slacker son. It's so creepy levels on way too many levels. this all takes place after the pacifist ending.
The Audience were rowdy but ready they had heard about the new show but had not idea what it was or what it was about. But as long as Mettaton was in this show; what more did the underground and the surface need? The lights are flashing and a set of fireworks are set off on stage. Rising out of the platform the crowd is chanting his name.
"Well hello darlings!" Mettaton says and the crowd is going wild and chanting his name.
"This is the one and only Mettaton coming live to you tonight. " He strikes a dramatic pose and a flip of his hair made quite a few women and some men fainted at the sight of such glory.
"My many fan letters have been asking me questions I can't tell. So it's time for some answers ?" The crowd gasp in shock.
"Over the years I've gotten thousands of letters asking about the relationship status of some our most infamous boss monster, mini boss monsters and our human ambassador. Who's dating who and why. While I may be privy it's not my right to go against my friends privacy and divulging their secrets. And with their permission I'm proud to introduce a new segment to our lovely show. Are you ready my fabulous ladies and gentlemen because it's a doozy! It's the underground dating show! Where I Mettaton either bring a couple on stage at your behest or I pick one who I deem needs the limelight. Who do we have with us as our guest tonight? Well the biggest not couple and that everyone vainly roots for.
"It's Sans and Toriel". The crowd gasped in excitement.
"Give them a round of applause people. " The crowd went into a cheering frenzy that took almost five minutes to quiet and calm down.
"Well hello." Toriel said a bit nervous but very cheerful.
"Sup." Sans said in a very relaxed manner. Performing stand up had its perks after all.
"Now rumor across the underground believes you two are dating what do two say about this?"
Sans and Toriel are laughing so loud that he barely got through the sentence but as a consummated performer he knew to let their laughter end.
"You're just poking our ribs right ?"
"Trying to tickle my funny bone right."
"I think I'm not hearing you clearly because I'm running a femur."
"I know I'm pretty boniful, Some people think I look like Pelvis Presley."
"None of this makes any sense. Must be a clavicle error."
Sans looks at the audience some with sad faces some looked relieved others just waiting patiently a few chuckled at the joke.
"With average skull, I'd think you'd find yourself more than carpalable. Turn on the radius and relax." He said to the audience who chuckle harder relaxing those who were about to cry .
"Sans please take this seriously most of these people having been dying to know the answer to this question for a long time. If you can do that I can offer you own comedy special next month ." Mettaton was smiling but looked like he knew audience was antsy about the truth .
"Fine Mettaton I'll try to be serious but no promises." Sans said laying back on the couch hands behind his skull.
"We are beyond incompatible. We have similar senses of humor, but that's not enough to make a relationship work. "
"I'm incredibly lazy, a bit of a slob and these are things I'm proud of. I have pretty dark outlook on the way things are. I'm pretty sure would cause her to want to change me and that won't end well."
"I'm the exact opposite orderly, tidy , and ever the optimist with a splash of realism. He's right I'd want to change him. heck I do that now at times to no avail. " She had a look of exasperation of many failed attempts on her side.
"I'm pretty sure we're better off as friends." Sans had a shrug of nonchalance
"I'm pretty sure dating Sans would be beyond awkward the arguing alone would be to much on day to day. "
"Our personality would clash to much to make a romantic relationship work for long I am pretty sure she would essentially want me in the capacity as a father figure for Frisk. At least when Frisk was a lot younger and need those roles in her life. Something I don't feel ready for nor would I impose that kinda uncertainty on Tori herself .
"Your not wrong Sans any monster I dated would need to know Frisk comes first. If it was becoming serious that's the role I would want them to take in Frisk life. "
"I'm pretty sure it would end with us hating each other with her treating me like a child and not like a boyfriend. "
"He's right plus we have a bit of a gap in age it's pretty obvious. I'm pretty sure I'm old enough to be Sans mother. " Toriel face was blushing from that fact.
"Well you heard it here first darlings! They are not dating just pretty good friends. Do two have anything to say. ?
"Be good and understanding of others. " Toriel said with a kind smile on her face.
"Relationship have to work on deepest of levels. A promise and mutual sense of humor,doesn't mean much in the long run of a relationship. " Sans said his voice taking a serious tone.
" That's all for this segment tonight my beauties. Join us next time the next couple are bit too tantalizing to reveal just yet. "
Some of the crowd were mourning the ending of the ship. Some were smiling and glad to see that ship burn like a Viking funeral.
"For the next hour I will start a concert of my new album so stay tuned in. "
Like a switch the crowd was chanting his name.
Final note: For something I wrote over the course of a few hours. I can say I am glad the plot bunny caught me this time. I don't need flames or cursing at the story. Constructive criticism is welcomed though.