FOREWORD
 Yes, I am aware of how long this chapter is, and that there is no mention of any of the Beatles. I needed to set up the story, so before you stop reading because 'there's no John smut right away' or whatever shit, I'd like to mention that good writing usually does not dive right in the middle of the fucking story without any explanation, thanks. John comes into the first chapter, so be patient or skip this chapter.
Thank you, and enjoy IBBR.
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"I'm much happier, to be honest." Alice reassured me as she sipped her tea. She and Jack had graciously invited me over, even though it wasn't a day I regularly visit, since I had telephoned Alice about wanting to leave Bristol. Grandmother Heather was nowhere near pleasant, and I was tired of being reminded every day of my Mum and Dad. "But I think you should stay in the city." I stared at my feet, torn between the two as I ran my finger over the slip in my pocket.

"I want to go somewhere else. Somewhere where nobody would know about what's happened. Because it seems like everyone in Bristol knows our parents are dead."

Alice winced. "Don't say it like that, please." I stopped, my face growing hot.

"I'm sorry. It's just-"

She held up her hand to quiet me. "You're still in secondary. Why don't you wait until after you're finished to leave?"

I stood up, offended. Why is she trying to make me stay when I obviously want to leave? I had already bought tickets to Liverpool with my art money. "Alice, Grandmother and I aren't for each other. We barely talk, we occasionally cross paths and that's it. The odd time she does speak to me, it's her scolding me over some other bloody stupid thing only she cares about!"

"Sit down, Heather!" Alice shouted crossly, placing her tea down. I obliged begrudgingly as Jack walked in, smiling. I didn't mind him too much. We always had nice conversations. I was glad my sister didn't have a bloke for a boyfriend. His expression sort of dropped when he adjusted to the mood wafting around the room. "Talk to me calmly now. Where'd you get this idea from, and where are you planning on going?"

I took a deep breath. "I've been feeling more and more out of place around town. I can't keep doing this." I pulled the train ticket out of my pocket and showed it to Alice. "Mum and Dad always talked about living here. You were born there. I want to see it for myself."

Alice gasped, placing a hand on her chest. I caught Jack quietly slipping back out of the room. That was another reason I liked him. He reacted to situations well and didn't need to announce it to everyone. As I did that, Alice had recollected herself. "Look, Liverpool is full of dirty sailors with no manners. They're not real British. They've no honour, dignity.. Just stay here in Bristol. At least for a few more years. All of Merseyside is so dirty.. Sleazy. Mum and Dad wouldn't want you living there, that's exactly why we moved." She reached out her hand to me, meanwhile, my mind was swirling with cusses and insults I dare not say, especially to my dear own sister, as ignorant as she was being. "How about we go to the train station tomorrow, when I'm off work, and return this?" That had done it, something in me snapped. I stood up, looked her straight in the eye icily, and told her.

"The train leaves Friday morning. Don't tell anyone else." Now, thinking about this in later years I've seen how immature I was acting, but at the time I didn't care. I was a kid, I was foolish. We all make mistakes, but thankfully, this mistake turned out for the better.

As I walked out the front door, my face was etched into a deep grimace. Immediately I had regretted talking to my sister in such a way. Mum would've- no, I'd rather not think of her.

I continued down the street to the closest bus stop, keeping a tight grip on my train ticket. I had a few days to pack, and that was it. I secretly hoped Alice would come to say goodbye to me, but nobody else. I wasn't a fan of many of the people in our area. For example, Stacey. We had been relatively good mates, until I had figured she was speaking rubbish behind my back. Or Janice, who apparently was only my friend because her mother had made her, in a sort of pity attempt when I lost my parents.

I glanced back at the house, as best of a view as I could get as the bus rolled up. I finally stepped on and paid the toll before slipping into a seat before Alice could see where I had went.

I don't know why I felt the need to be so secretive around her all of the sudden. I can trust her. I know I can. Maybe a little bit of me doesn't want to leave, either. No, that's a lie. Quite a bit of me doesn't want to leave, but the rest knows I have to.

I figure most people in the same situation as I would make a big show of 'how they were leaving the city' and expect everyone to miss them, possibly throw some huge farewell party, then whisper about them not even a day after they were gone. I was planning to simply disappear, so everyone could forget easier. So we ended on pleasant notes. Somewhat. I just wanted to say goodbye to Alice. She was one of the few people who shared my experience, and the only one that I could talk to about anything. We had been thick as thieves after the accident, watching out for each other even though there was three years between us.

I smiled a little to myself as the bus jostled. I do get nervous when riding any sort of automobile. It's sort of a reflex nowadays, but it doesn't exactly cripple me from ever using one ever again. I usually tried to bury the feeling, but every once in awhile the pot of that paranoia boiled over. And once it started, took a long time to stop. I shook my head a little to clear out the negative thoughts and hopped off the bus. Thankfully, it was right beside the stop and I didn't have to walk very far.

I unlocked the door and took off my shoes before looking into the kitchen. Grandmum was in there. She looked up and we held eye contact for a few moments before I started to head upstairs. "Tut," Grandmother snapped. "Shoes." I stared down at my feet then begrudgingly took them off, leaving them by the door before climbing the stairs.

I hate it. I hate it so much. I can't have normal conversations with anyone, let alone keep a stable relationship. In a blind sort of rage, I continued to drag out any sort of bag I had. Knapsacks, suitcases, duffels, the like. After emptying almost all my drawers into a suitcase I pulled open the bottom one and dug a book out of the bottom. 'Family Photos' was loosely scribbled on the cover, like it was rushed at last second. I didn't care. It was what was inside that counted. I dare not look through it now- I only saved it for times that I'd need it. Slipping the book away in a bag, I continued packing mindlessly. Only two more days.

I decided to make a little chart that I taped to the wall, like a calendar. Drawing a big X over today's date, I capped the marker and left it nearby before turning to look at myself in my mirror.

I had somewhat fair features, my eyes were large and eyebrows arched ever so slightly. I did have thinner lips than Alice, though. She had the same eyes as Mum, that icy blue. I was quite envious of her- I had auburn hair that always fell over my eye no matter how many pins or how much hairspray I used. I thought my eye colour was disgusting, though. They were green, but had freckles of other colours and shades within them. It looked like a badly tended to garden. We hadn't known where I got the hair and eyes from, Dad had dark brown hair and deep chocolate eyes.

I scrunched up my nose at myself and turned away, throwing my knapsack onto my bed and meticulously placing things inside so I maximized the space.

I didn't care that Liverpool wasn't proper. It was the only place I could possibly belong. Bristol was too stuck up. Everyone felt they needed to be perfect, so in shape, so regular compared to the other. No contrasts. We were all the same. It grew boring, almost.

Grandmother wasn't very supportive of my art. She would always say, when she would speak to me, that art is a 'putz's career' and only stupid people go into art. That's Bristol idealism, I suppose.

By the time Friday rolled around, I had been scolded severely by Grandmother about nearly everything, loud noises, phone calls, a few more shoe 'infractions', and had even scolded me for my hair being over my eye, saying it looked trampy. It's not my fault, I can't fix it. I could see fine either way. She also scolded me for not practicing my violin. I didn't care, I had a few classical music records and my own player upstairs. See if she could tell the difference. I hadn't opened that case in a year or so, I could probably still play fine, and I had decided to take it with me to Liverpool anyway.

I figured it'd be best to throw the non fragile bags out the window and retrieve them once outside, since Grandmum was always hanging around the parlour downstairs by about 5 in the morning, and she would find it suspicious that I kept lugging bags back and forth, especially so early in the day. I carried a knapsack and my violin case out. Grandmum didn't ask any questions. She didn't even point out with a snarky tone that I was wearing the trousers that I had spilt bleach on, let alone wearing trousers at all. Maybe she wanted me to leave.

I stepped outside to see a car waiting for me. My stomach dropped for a moment before I noticed it was Jack in the driver's seat and Alice beside him. He beckoned me over and rolled the window down. "We'll drive you to the train station, don't want you having to lug the whole lot yourself." I smiled weakly and placed down my violin and knapsack, returning to the backyard to retrieve the rest of my bags. Alice had followed me there, heaving one of the duffels that I had stuffed full.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked in between breaths.

She grinned at me. "Because Jack didn't want to, apparently your fragile luggage needed his tender care on its trip to the car."

A smile crept on my lips. "Yes, but seriously."

"Well, why have you bus or walk to the station, lugging all these bags yourself, when the least Jack and I can do is help your last time in Bristol be somewhat pleasant." She stopped as she placed the bag down for him to pack in the car, as did I. "Did you tell Grandmum?"

I scoffed, appalled. "Of course not!"

"We'd best hurry then."

"So you're okay with me doing this?" I asked, grabbing the last bag and following her back.

Alice snickered. "Even if I wasn't, I wouldn't be able to stop you. I just hope you come back to Bristol.

Staring at her, I knew she was genuine. "Yeah," I murmured, untruthfully, for that matter, "Me too." Alice gave me a sideways grin. I don't know why I lied to her. It seems like that's just what I do now.

Everything had been packed into the car, and we had arrived to Temple Mead safely, and on time. I had the half hour to kill. The first ten was spent lugging all my bags onto the train. The next ten was checking and double-checking. Then, the last five were goodbyes.

Jack stood beside Alice as she wiped her eyes with a handkerchief that she had produced from her pocket. "So, where are you planning on staying?" She asked as I stood in front of my train car.

"I'm sure I'll find a place." I assured her. I was quite convinced I was. Plenty of people living alone are always thankful for an extra hand around the house.

"You don't have anywhere in mind." She pressed her lips together, clutching the frilly handkerchief. "Oh, Heather." Alice sighed. "Do you have enough money?"

I nodded cautiously, keeping and eye on the clock. "Enough clothes?" She continued. "We'll still be here in Bristol, you know. If you don't like it there you can always come back." I stifled a scoff. I'd like anything better than Bristol.

"I think I should be getting on the train," I murmured, glancing back at Alice. She gasped, more tears streaming out of her eyes. "Oh, God, Alice. Please don't cry. I'll call." Jack gazed at me worriedly. Alice usually did the talking for him. It just happened that way, and that's another thing that made them such a nice pair.

"Please do," She whimpered, pulling me into a tight hug. "You're all I have of Mum and Dad left." I nodded, burying my face in her shoulder. She was wetting my sweater, though I didn't care too much. Alice pulled away, keeping her hands on my shoulders as she stared at me. "If you ever need us, we'll be here." She turned, obviously not wanting to see me go. I wouldn't, either. Before I boarded, Jack stopped me.

"It's not much, but take this." Jack stopped me, pressing two hundred-pound notes into my hand.

I glanced up at him. "No, really. I'm fine, I've got enough money-" He quieted me with a reassuring smile. I spun around uneasily and boarded the train, now nervous myself, and questioning my choices as my stomach swirled with indecision. I'd never been to Liverpool, I only had one large map and a few residential ones. I glanced back behind me as I climbed the last few steps. Jack was staring at me as Alice sobbed into his shoulder. My face dropped and I tried to look away as I sat down in my seat. It would seem as if only the train car separated us, but I had just built a layer of mistrust and betrayal between us, that would probably take years to bring back our relationship as it was before.

Alice turned solemnly as the train slowly began moving after quite some minutes. Her hand raised in a slow wave as she crawled out of my view. I wanted to jump off the train and go back, but I knew I couldn't now. Temple Meads passed by, and I was leaving my home, Bristol, probably for good.

It was a 4 hour trip to Liverpool from Bristol. One other lady shared my compartment, but she had been keeping to herself in a newspaper for the first half hour, at least. I had been staring out into the passing scenery as it was illuminated by the rising morning sun until I heard the rustling of papers. "That's quite the lot of luggage you've got there," she commented. I could tell she was Scottish, her accent was very heavy.

I glanced at her then at my bags, startled. "Erm, yeah. I'm- I'm moving." I replied, brushing some hair out of my face.

The woman smiled. "Ah, yes. Troubles at home, yeah? I know how you feel. I left my mum's at 16, and I turned out fine." She folded up the newspaper, placing it beside her. "I'm sure you'll be fine too."

"Thank you," I murmured.

"So, how old are you? Y' Seem like a fine young lady to me."

I brushed some hair behind my ear. "Fourteen." I answered. "I turn fifteen in August."

The woman laughed heartily. "They get younger every day! Well, I'm Liz, pleased to meet you." She looked to be in her mid thirties as she shook my hand with a wide smile.

"Heat- Roxanne," I replied, folding my hands back in my lap. I decided to go by my middle name from then on. It would work as a cover, in case the radio decided to broadcast my absence from Bristol.

Liz looked absolutely pleased. "Oh my, that's an American name, correct?"

I nodded as she began to go on a story about how her oldest son moved to New York and how well off he was, and how lazy their middle child was. Although it was interesting, and Liz was extremely friendly, I zoned out a little and looked back out the window, watching the trees go past again.

A little later, a trolley came past, with some tea and biscuits, as well as some other sweets. I bought a small variety of food, using some pocket change. I hadn't eaten all morning, so I was famished. Liz offered me a pastry, all wrapped up in Cellophane, that she had brought from home. I told her I had more than enough already, but still thanked her profusely.

Before I knew it, we had pulled into Liverpool Central, the train screeching to a halt. Liz, who had no luggage besides a purse, helped me with getting my bags off the train, and left me with a tight hug and a wish for good luck. I smiled as I watched her scurry away with who I presumed to be her youngest son. My luggage was all packed onto a cart, and I pushed it off the platform, glancing around. I didn't know where to go beyond here. Arrows pointed to different areas in all directions, making my head spin. Temple Meads was definitely worse, but at least I knew my way around.

A couple teens that looked about my age passed by, down a corridor to the outside, so I decided to follow them, keeping a pretty safe distance between us. Maybe they could lead me to a residential area.

As I walked near the doors, I noticed a large sign prohibiting the passage of carts past that point. A guard stood in front of it, but he was small and lumpy, so I figured I'd take my chances and run, waiting for the boys to gain a little more on me before I sprinted past the guard and his sign, steering the cart down a busy street. Someday, I'd return it.

I caught sight of the teenagers again right before they turned a corner. I followed them for another good twenty minutes of turning and following before one waved to the other and went inside a house, whereas the other kept walking. I glanced over at it, seeing there was an adjoined other side. I decided to first try my luck with that house, since if I went to the boy I followed, he might recognize me.

I rapped on the door, my cart on the walkway, since I didn't feel like dragging it up the front steps.

A woman opened the door after a minute, looking at me. "Yes?" She looked to be at about her early twenties. "Can I help you?"

"Hello, yes." I exhaled sharply. I had thought this story up on the train, I'd be fine. "My name is Roxanne Eaton." It was a popular last name, might as well keep it. "I'm from Maghull, my parents sent me here for a better education, and I'm in need of a place to stay." I motioned at my cart of baggage, and the woman leant to the side to inspect it before looking me up and down.

"How old are you, miss?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Fourteen. Fifteen in August."

The woman was silent for a moment as she thought. "Very well," she began. "But, you must upkeep chores if you wish to stay without paying rent." I had never heard a Scouse accent before, but hers was very thick. She held out a hand. "Charmed, I'm Elaine Porter." I shook it cautiously. "Care for some help with your bags?"

Elaine grabbed a duffel before eyeing my cart. "Wait. Did you steal this from the Central?" She asked me, and I felt my face turn red.

"Yes- well- I had nothing to carry my bags with- and I'm planning on returning it!" I stammered.

Her strictness seemed to dissipate as she threw her head back in a hearty laugh. "No way! That's so funny. Hey, steal me one, next time!" I gave her an uneasy smile as she lugged the duffel. "You know, I've been living alone like this for a few years now, I could really use the extra hands." Dumping it in the mudroom, she went back outside to grab the other bags. While I was struggling a bit with them, she seemed to be carrying them with ease. "Now, I wouldn't do this on the spot, but I've been working more lately, and I don't have time to clean up much, especially when people are coming over." Elaine winked at me. "You up for that? Well, who am I kidding? You have to, now, since your baggage is already inside my home." Laughing, she put her hands on her hips. I liked her. She was pleasant, and slightly reminded me of Alice. My gut twisted a little at the thought of how far away she was from me. I suppose I'd call her this evening. "Well, erm, I do have a guest room. It's furnished, for when my brother used to stay the night from London. He doesn't come anymore, he's a big man, with a big job in Norway now." She said that last part almost bitterly, with a hint of jealousy, and I hoped Alice and I never turned out like that. So far, we hadn't, but this separation might turn for the worse if we didn't stay in touch.

"Thank you for letting me stay here." I murmured, rubbing my forearm.

Elaine grinned. "I know how it feels, second hand, of course. My mother moved here for school too. From Lancashire, actually. Don't know why." She lugged one of my trunks up the stairs.

I watched her, grabbing my knapsack and violin case. "People here are so nice," I gushed. "Nothing like my home."

"How so? Have they all got poles up their asses?" Elaine chortled at her own joke. I smiled, genuinely this time.

"Most of them, yes." My Grandmother was the first to come to mind.

Her house was quaint, but still fitting to her personality. What I had seen of the downstairs was dark wood floors, baby blue wallpaper, and pictures all over the place. I swear I spotted a Buddy Holly poster right beside some family photos. She dressed eccentrically, with bright colours, her hair loose and long, unlike a lot of girls these days. I liked it that way too, but I always had to tie it back when Grandmother was around. One time, she threatened to cut it all off.

Elaine herself was quite pretty, her cheeks were rosy and a little chubby, eyes bright. She had almost childlike features. Her hair was dark brown, almost black, and it bounced on her shoulders as she walked. She had to be only about an inch taller than me. I was already tall for my age, so, she was quite the tower herself. She had a longer midsection than legs, though, where I was mostly legs, thanks to Mum.

Opening a door to the right of the stairwell, Elaine revealed a well sized guest room, with a set of drawers, vanity, closet, bed in the corner with sheets already on it, a desk, and a wonderfully large window. "This is brilliant," I breathed. "Thank you." Grinning sideways at me, Elaine dropped the trunk at the foot of my new bed, and I carefully placed my knapsack and violin onto the lavender sheets before taking in the room. Not unlike the rest of the house, it had dark hardwood flooring. The wallpaper was deep violet with a sparse floral pattern reaching up to the ceiling, and a soft rug of warm greys made itself the centrepiece of the floor. Elaine had already gone back downstairs for my other luggage, so I looked out my window to the street. I checked the sign as I followed the teens, it was Menlove Avenue, apparently. A few cars passed by as I watched. The window had silky white drapes, so I drew them, sitting back on the bed, which was delightfully comfortable. It was amazing how Elaine could afford the lot of this.

I clicked open the trunk, packing some clothing away in a drawer. I was upset I couldn't bring my record player, but it was too big and I probably would've broken it throwing it out the window anyways. I decided the first thing I'd do is start saving up for a new one, as I still had a bulk of records with me. Elaine came back in with the rest of my bags, before sitting down at the chair of the desk. "So? How is it?"

I glanced around the room again. "It's wonderful, I can't thank you enough." I nodded, and a smile grew on her face.

"Well, since you've just moved in, I might as well introduce you to the neighbourhood. We can look around tomorrow, though it is getting late now." I gazed out the window to the setting sun. "Right next door," she began, and lightly knocked the wall farthest from the doorway. "Is Mimi Smith and her nephew, John. I'm telling you, he's a real catch, and you'd better believe it. Say he's got a skiffle band. They did a performance not too long ago, actually." I supposed one of the boys I followed was this John, then.

Elaine leant back, tapping her chin. "Erm, I believe that's all I could tell you without showing you. Mimi and John visit often, and vice versa. I think they were coming over tomorrow, actually, so you can help me out with cleaning then." I loved her accent, to be honest. It just made her seem even more laid back than she was, and showed me Liverpool wasn't half as strict and uptight as Bristol. Which reminded me.

"Um, do you have a telephone I could use? I've got to call my family." Alice was probably impatient by now.

Elaine clasped her hands together. "Of course, of course. There's one downstairs."

I murmured another thank you and scuttled downstairs awkwardly, quickly dialing Alice's number and holding the telephone to my ear as it rang.

"Hello?" Alice's voice echoed into my ear, making me sigh of relief. It was odd, even though I hadn't been here for more than a few hours, it was already strange to hear somebody else without the Scouse accent.

"Alice!" I breathed. "I made it here fine."

I heard a murmur from the other end. "Oh, thank goodness, Heather." She sighed.

"Yeah.. I've decided to start going by my middle name, it'll cover me up better?"

"Roxanne? Why?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "I, uh, don't know, I don't want to get deported back to Bristol any time soon."

Alice paused. "Well, wouldn't you want to visit maybe?"

"No."

There was another murmur. I supposed she was talking to Jack.

"Has Grandmum noticed yet?" I asked, trying to change the subject. My stomach hurt a little because I had made Alice upset.

"Yes, actually. She telephoned here not too long ago, thinks you've been murdered. You couldn't have told her, Heath- Roxanne?" Wasn't Alice quick to change her mind. She was telling me to go quickly as I hadn't told our Grandmother yet that I was running away. Not that I was planning to. Just then, Elaine came back downstairs, giving me a friendly little wave.

"Look, I've got to go, I'm sorry. I'll telephone you tomorrow morning." I whispered urgently, turning a bit.

"I love you," Alice muttered.

"I love you too, Alice."

She hung up.