A/N: Off to feed my furry son Hop thought I drop this first. What's going on this time?
Happy Reading (:
TJ's POV
"How did you think your Uncle Stevie did today teaching your class while Ms. Toles was at a meeting most of the class?"
"You did great Uncle Stevie! It was the best school day ever! We got to play video games!" I danced in my seat. "And we didn't have to go to the cafeteria you ordered pizza for lunch, it was great! Can you come to school tomorrow and do that?"
"No, I can't tomorrow Aunt Tana is volunteering should be a pretty interesting day tomorrow."
"Who are you telling? Are we going to pick up JT or go visit Aunt Denise?"
"We're going to go pick up JT get something to eat, pick up Aunt Denise something to eat tonight she has Back to School Night so I know a veggie bowl will do her well, then we're off to a surprise location." He tugged his sleeve. "Uncle Stevie has a little something up his sleeve."
"What is it Uncle Stevie?"
"I can't tell you, get in your booster seat buckle yourself in." His phone rang as we pulled up to the light. "Hello Deja, has PawPaw arrived yet, not yet okay what would you like to eat, pizza? We already had pizza today, you didn't, Taco Bell, TJ you want Taco Bell?"
"Yup, Taco Bell is good. Hi Deja boo!"
"She says hi TJ, we're getting you that I have to go we'll see you once we get home by then you and PawPaw should be done with his wedding planning. Love you too."
"Love you Deja boo, bye, pray Deja knows what she doing because I overheard PawPaw said that he didn't want to buy any cups that all the kids would have a juice box."
"A juice box, no PawPaw has to buy cups weddings are expensive don't I know I'm already looking into planning mine, have your parents set a date?"
"I don't know mommy says after Alexandra is born she's due May." I undid my seatbelt climbing up front. "This is JT's school, why can't he attend my school then I could see him every day."
"TJ you already see him every day."
"I know but we not in the same school, Logan, Ian, Gabby, Jazzy I see them all the time only person missing is JT. What time he gets out?"
"JT gets out of school in 30 minutes you get out a 2:15 him 2:45 and I'm not waiting because I want to get my surprise underway come on let's go inside to the main office and give him a semi-early dismissal. Get out my side." I climbed over the gear shift jumping out the driver side. "Want to race?"
"Yes."
"Okay let me tie your shoe and we'll race to the front door the laces came out." He tied my shoelaces tight. "There you go, okay get in racing stance on 3 we run to the door. 1, 2, 2.5, 2.75, 3."
He shouted I bolted towards the door leaving him in the dust. "I beat you Uncle Stevie!" I yelled jumping up and down.
"That you did good race." We entered the school walking to the school office. "Good Afternoon, I'm here to pick up my son. Jeremiah Evans. Thank you." She called him over the intercom stood in the entrance so he could see me. "TJ, you see him?"
"Yeah, he's right there he's not looking he's too focused on his backpack, JT." I singsong he looked up smiling." I walked up to him and hugged him. "Are you surprise to see me!"
"Yeah, I am! What are you doing here?"
"Uncle Stevie didn't tell you that he was teaching my class today it was awesome!" Uncle Stevie was outside the main office. "Uncle Stevie I got him let's go!"
"Daddy you didn't tell me you were teaching TJ's class when are you coming to teach mine, what did you guys do in class?"
"No hug for your old man just." He snapped his fingers. "Right into a question, hi JT."
He smiled. "Sorry daddy, hi." He gave him a hug. "Now can you answer my question, when?"
"I don't know someday maybe at the end of the school year I can ask the teacher to throw a video game day. Let's get going."
"You played video games! In school?! All I did today was took a test, read a book, did some classwork, and got some homework, your school day was way better than mine."
"I know. Are we off to Taco Bell now I'm starvin' like Marvin."
"We going to Taco Bell I can get finally get my chalupa, I know mommy isn't getting anything from Taco Bell?"
"Yup, we're going to go get her a veggie bowl, back to the house to eat squeeze out some homework off to my surprise that all of you will like but he have to my a quick stop at TJ house know what I'm just going to ask Azimio to drop off what I need so we can go directly to where we need to be."
"Why?"
"I can't say just sit back and enjoy the ride."
Dejanae's POV
I looked at my watch. "Where is PawPaw you only live two blocks away, what is Azimio doing here with Conniehey?" I opened the door. "Hey Azimio, why are you dropping off Conniehey? Is this some kind of sick joke?"
Arf [That's a good question I want to know too. Why am I here?]
"Your dad didn't say he just said drop him off here he is, have fun Conniehey with whatever he has planned here are TJ's change of clothes."
Arf [I will. Hi Deja got some snacks.]
"Okay. Finally PawPaw shows up. Hi PawPaw you're late you said that you would be here at one o'clock."
"Oh, sorry Dijon I was handling a little something, something then I stopped by the pet store to get Hip and Hop some rabbit food and I missed my fishes so I got me a hamster, I named him Hammy."
"What?" He dropped the ball Hammy rolled off. "Wait PawPaw."
Arf [The hell, how you get a fish out of a hamster I'll never know this is PawPaw so anything goes.]
"Let's get down to planning Hammy and Conniehey can play together these are my ideas." He whipped out his jitterbug. "I sent myself text messages so I won't forget my plans and I twittered y'all."
"Tell me what you got."
"Okay, you already know about my Kool-Aid we can add some lemons in the mix with a lot of sugar, your mother said she's making the lemonade and brining it over, Capri Sun for the kids I'm not buying cups, the cake is already taken care of it's going to be an Oreo cake."
"An Oreo cake is a good idea which bakery?"
"We going right to the cookie aisle buying a few packages of Oreos and layer them like a pyramid it will be no cutting each guests is going to get one to three Oreos on their plate that that can break apart lick, put back together and that's the cake I was thinking about doing store bought cake slices but that's too much this is cheaper." I pulled my hair in frustration. "Dijon you got mice problems it's a mouse in a ball over there."
Arf [I can't with this foolishness.]
"We're home!" Daddy announced. "Hi PawPaw."
"Thank God! PawPaw that's all I needed to know um….we'll discuss later." I picked up his phone texting myself. "I got all of your ideas and if I need any help I'll text you or tweet you. I'm going to go use the bathroom."
Stevie's POV
"That was it, that was easy I got to go get fitted for my tux. Hi Stevie, TJ, and JT." He picked up Conniehey. "Let's go Hammy."
Arf Arf [Put me down! My name is Conniehey Jupiter Evans Esquire!]
"PawPaw that's my dog you don't have a pet, remember you flushed your Oscar fish at home then Jazzy flushed the other one at school!"
"That's right I thought I came with one I didn't. Y'all have a good one. Wait before I go Stevie I want you to be the ring bearer think on that and get back to me."
I scratched my head. "What? Ring bearer. PAWPAW I'M TOO BIG TO BE A RING BEARER!" I sat the food on the table. "Azimio dropped of your change of clothes go get change we'll eat then homework."
"Alright, come on TJ."
Arf [I'm right behind you two.]
"Hi my mini boo boo."
"Hi Deja." TJ tapped his cheek.
"What about me?"
"Hi butt face." She mushed in the face. "Oh my two Dorito gordita tacos."
"How did the planning go with PawPaw?"
She groaned. "You just don't know how bad it was he tweeted me a few things and I texted the rest I'm going to do it my way with his input, tell me why Conniehey is here?"
"It's my surprise and he's going to help us out."
"Are we getting a dog?"
"Maybe." I winked. "Those boys should be changed out of their clothes, TJ, JT, and Conniehey food is getting cold."
"Here we come, uncle Stevie why is Conniehey here?"
I rubbed my hands together. "Conniehey is going to help me on our little surprise but eat up first."
Sam's POV
"Hi Sam, we meet again aren't you going to give me a hug? Fine be like that I'll give you one." She tried to hug me but I pushed her away. "Don't want to give a hug in front of your wife. I see you can hug me later."
"Excuse you."
"Did I address you? No I did not when I say speak, I expect you to speak to me but you don't have to worry about that. I see you are up in here buying Tank's baby a crib, how far along is she?" She reached out to touch her belly Mercedes popped her hand. "Tank misses his little man! You are hurting him by doing what you are doing too him."
Mercedes rolled her eyes. "I heard that same boring script from Tank's mother TJ don't miss him and don't you dare touch with your nasty ass hands."
"I don't give a damn about you I just want to let my step-daughter know that her mommy loves her she needs to get to know me."
"What? You aren't a step anything; this baby has no relationship to you in no way shape or form, this baby is Sam's I told his delusional ass once and it hasn't yet synced in let me break it down to you like this, yes I had a pregnancy scare when Tank decided to rape me and bust his non-swimmers up in me they didn't latch on like my eggs were playing dodge ball with them, Sam and I a few weeks later made hot sexy, steamy, sweet music all damn night and he sprayed up my place so good I welcomed his seed in me and to make sure I would be pregnant with his baby, we did it again, and again, and again until Sam and I couldn't take no more when one night we were watching our son sleep I told Sam I think I might be pregnant." She snapped her fingers. "A test proved that I was and I was over the moon elated! Sam's seed, TJ is Sam seed you can run back and tell your sorry ass excuse of a man that shows you that he loves you by beating on you."
"Let me set you straight Tank doesn't beat on me I just walked into a wall and yes, he or she does Tank and I are married. I'm Mrs. Tank so that makes me apart of this babies life! You are the delusional one passing off TJ as Sam's and this one too."
"What is going on here? Who is this person?"
"Mom this is Sarah a person that doesn't mean anything to me or Sam."
Out the corner of my eye I saw Sarah raise a fist. "Sam, are you going…..ow!"
"I wish you would try to punch someone oh you thought you had it coming! Mary come help me with this thing this piece of trash right here tried to punch Mercedes."
"She what?!" Every word that came out of our mother's mouth came with a punch or slap. "Don't you dare think that you were going to get away with this I know about your filthy ass, lying, tricking, scheming, stealing, gold-digging, low-down dirty, cowardly. Let's tag team her ass you go first."
Mama Jones stepped back my mother went in. "You think you know but you have no idea this is a diary of your beat down! Okay, Bernice you about ready to take over this for me there is a lot left to be done." She tapped Bernice.
"Sam, are you recording this?"
"Yes, I am, we gonna have movie night! Go ahead mommy! Mercedes you don't want to get in on this."
"No."
Alexandra J's POV
If mommy won't get in on this I will my PawPaw is Dynamite Too Sharp and I'm Touch of Sleep which means when I lay my kicks on you, you gonna be knocked out slain to the floor! *rubs Vaseline on face* Cinny get my blow up Sarah doll!
Cinny – Here it is arf, arf arf
That's right Cinny bark at that trick hand it here, you crazy lady I came from daddy's left nut not Tank's dusty, rusty, musty balls, crusty balls, you wish Tanks balls looked as good as daddy you wish you had daddy's stick like mommy and Cinny but you don't.
Cinny – Beat her she's annoying, mean and she's a hoe! She's the face of 1-800-choke-dat-hoe!
Hot Nuts POV
Ball 1 – That's right you better tell her Cinny where you came from!
Ball 2 – Damn right only Hot Nuts can produce a baby like you! Get her!
Santana's POV
"Come baby, let's go look at a few baby items although we're not at the stage where Mercedes and Sam are." She kissed me cheek. "Please."
"Okay, let's go up in here." I parked the car walking in Pottery Barn. "Brittany do you want us to have boy or a girl?"
"Boy."
"Mommy and Mama Mary get off this is not right!" The familiar voice shouted. "No, don't do it!"
"Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!" I quickly walk to direction the voice was coming from. "Do it! Do it!"
Sam and Mercedes were watching their mothers fight someone I dropped down to my knees. "Jesús yo quiero darle las gracias por guiar Bretaña a esta tienda no quería mirar a los artículos del bebé en este momento, pero que sabía que me necesitaban para un momento como este! Estoy tan contenta de que ella decidió llevar al bebé para que pueda dar una palmada este truco loco! Ella no es digno de holocaustos, pero voy a hacer una petición especial. ¡Amén! [Translation: Jesus I want to thank you for guiding Brittany to this store I did not want to look at baby items right now but you knew that I was needed for a time like this! I'm so glad that she decided to carry the baby so I can slap this trick crazy! She is not worthy of burnt offerings but I'll make a special request. Amen!] I lit a match. "WON'T HE DO IT!"
"Santana! Noooooo!" Mercedes blew out the fire. "This is bad."
"I know and I'm gonna join in! Mama Jones and Mama Evans I'm here tap me in so we can make this a triple threat tag!"
"Tana where are your heels?"
"Fuck her heels! Let me up! Get off of me so I can run and tell Tank."
"No we not going to get up off you and once you get back to Tank tell all you want I'm going to be waiting for him." Mama Evans backhand slapped her. "Stay down." She tapped me. "Tana you are in."
"THANK YA! Insecure, lonely, dumb, gullible, stingy, stupid ignorant ugly thirsty remedial slutty…"
"Santana! Why are you fighting?! We're suppose to be looking at baby items for our son."
"Wait you're pregnant? How far are you?"
"We're just 11 weeks."
"Awww….Alexandra! Did you hear that you got another cousin on the way! Congratulations…"
Alexandra's POV
I know mommy I'm on the phone with him right now telling him about my beat down, hey boo no I'm fine I got Cinny giving me a massage I worked my little self over I need the jets because I'm stressed. Yeah, I know Aunt Brittany just told mommy about you but you and I been knowing about each other did you get my gift? Just a $200 gift card to set you up with a few things it's a welcome womb gift. Uh-huh.
Cinny – Want a foot message?
No I'm good you can fan me though.
Pucks' POV
"Hello, Hello! Sam, Mercedes, although I know you got two of you got a house but Stevie and Jacey! Anyone home?! Conniehey!" I whistled. "Here boy! Damn! No one is home. That's okay I'll help myself to some food." I opened the refrigerator door. "Where are they? Move these oranges to the side, there we good TJ's pudding."
"Monica! Did you give Sarah my number? I'm still waiting on her to call me." I stood up. "Okay she got the number because…hello. Hello. Damn." He jumped. "Puck! The hell! You scared me! When did you get here?"
"Oh, like 5 minutes. I yelled but no one answered not even Conniehey is he sleep?"
"Any more of TJ's puddings?" I licked the spoon nodding my head. "Great I'm gonna grab me two and wait for Sarah to call, where did you run off to yesterday? You missed the game and the fight."
"I saw the game but the fight, who?"
"PawPaw, me, Shane, and your boy Tank he was at the game he bumped into PawPaw, he pushed him then cracked him across the face with his cane he told me to run after Shane I did semi-light damage on him I wanted Tank."
"Who wouldn't want the big dummy? How is PawPaw?"
"PawPaw is fine when I saw him he was singing his tweaked version R. Kelly, You Knock Me Out."
"Yeah, Santana came in screaming…." I opened the door. "Yeah, and BAOUK thought she was gonna do something she had another thing…"
I cleared my throat. "Hello all what's funny…hey! I love your shirts! Did that just go down?!"
"Puck! It was epic! Mercedes and me were standing in front of this crib hugged up and then this person pops out of nowhere out the corner of my eye she raised her fist before I knew it, she was knocked smooth out by Mama Jones! It's all on video!"
"Mama Jones!" I hugged her tightly. "You are awesome! Although sometimes overbearing! Sam, please tell me you got video!"
"He does Puck, he does Mary let's go on back to Jacey house we can walk. I need something to bring me down from my high. We'll see y'all for movie night!"
"Alright mom, nice fighting go put on some icy hot or bengay I saw you rubbing your shoulder. J3." Sam tossed his phone. "Whatever y'all do for movie night do that! I'm excited his is going to be my second movie night!"
"Ray and Azimio MOVIE NIGHT!"
Sam closed the door. "Puck, Azimio told us that Shane mentioned to you that his phone was missing, do you know anything about that?"
"Yeah, I do TJ picked up Shane's phone when the kiddy brigade beat him down at the zoo before our first inaugural movie night I got the phone Lucky and I been conversing with the guy from the park. I met with him yesterday."
Sam and Mercedes raised their eyebrows. "You did, what did he say? Does he know? Where is he?"
"He's gone don't worry about I handled it he will no longer be in communication with Tank, Shane, or Sarah."
"What does that mean?"
"Mercedes, me and Lucky did that." I smiled. "It's all good. I'm eliminating them one by one. What's for dinner?"
Conniehey's POV
"Daddy, where are you taking us? Why do we have to be blindfolded?" Deja patted her face. "Come are you going to tell us?"
"No, I'm not telling you anything until we get there and we just pulled up.
Arf [Great! We're here! You'll find out soon.]
"I'm going to get Conniehey out, then Deja, JT, and TJ. Out boy they don't know anything come on Deja, stand right there, TJ, JT alright. Let's hold hands and walk."
Arf [I'm giddy! I can't control myself. Tell them to remove their blindfolds.]
"Okay you've asked and I didn't answer your question but now I'll put you out of your misery take off your blindfolds!"
They ripped off their blindfolds. "The pound! We're getting a dog! We're getting a dog! JT!"Deja hugged JT. "What just happened? My time of the month might be coming soon, thank you daddy!
"Thank you daddy!"
"Thank you Uncle Stevie!"
Arf [Enough of this sappiness let's go pick a dog!]
"What kind size dog are you looking to get big or little?"
"I want a big dog."
"I want a little dog"
"Big."
"Little."
"Big."
"Little."
Arf [Those two bickering over what size furry princess or prince they're going to get me wanting to sing this little ditty, we're big and little and short and tall some are in the middle, some are very small we come in all shapes and sizes hey diddle diddle, we're big and little and everything in between.]
"Big."
"Little."
"Alright enough of that big and little debate let's pick a dog, TJ medium or large."
"Uncle Stevie we not gonna go through that Conniehey you see any dogs you want to make your cousin?"
Arf [Yup her right there excuse me will you. Hello, oh don't be shy I'm Conniehey, that's my family TJ, Uncle Stevie and his kids you wanna be in our family. They bought me along as the dog expert I'm here to sniff out Evans. Let me sniff your butt to let me know that you have what it takes.]
"Conniehey no butt sniffing what you think about this dog?" Deja picked me up. "No, I want a Cairn terrier female and I'd name her Bailey."
Arf [Reminds me of Tubbington next.]
"Here she is! It's a female dog and her name is Bailey! Daddy! I found the perfect dog! She's everything I imagined! You like her JT?"
"She's cute! Let's get her!"
Arf [What's going on?]
Arf [Come on down you're the next dog in the Evan's Family I'm Conniehey and I'm going to be your guide I'll teach you everything I know minus the but sniffing but you'll do that anyway. You're going to a great family I know. Any questions you need asked don't hesitate to bark at me.]
She sat me down. "This dog right here."
"Yes…aw she's so cuddly. Daddy did you build the house because I didn't see one? Awww.."
"I didn't we'll stop by Petsmart and get her little one and a bed, some toys leash, some clothes, by her and Conniehey matching shirts."
Arf [What you think about that Conniehey?! We're going shopping!]
Arf [As long as I get a bone I mean a doggy bone. I got specify!]
Tank's POV
Shane and myself were kicked back on the couch recovering from our wounds when Sarah came back. "Baby, what happened to you?"
She threw her purse on the couch. "Sam, Mercedes mother both beat me up then came the crazy lady! For nothing at all!"
"Oh, hell no! They got some nerve! I'm going to get they ass all of them starting from that crazed Puck all the way down." I opened fired my gun. "Bullseye! And I need you to stop following me!"
A/N: Hope Hammy don't get out. He knows! Yikes! Until tomorrow iamJLS