This morning was terrible. I could go on for days. Of course, John had been fine. It was his mother I had issues with. No, not Mimi. I was talking about Julia.

He had dragged me along to meet her, and his stepfather and two half sisters. Mimi had pulled me aside and said something about not approving of Julia, saying something about it being the 'House of Sin', whereas 251 Menlove was the 'House of Correction', which I would soon understand why.

As soon as he had knocked on the door, "Come in!" Rang from the other side in the most fake sing-song voice I'd ever heard. John was grinning, the little sheep he was as he opened the door. A woman with red hair and bold red lipstick that overpowered her seashell eyes was hopping around in a tart dress with an apron.

"Mum!" John cried, pulling her into a hug. "How are you?" Julia giggled as her son embraced her.

"Oh, John, you divvy!" She cried endearingly. I stood off to the side, watching them awkwardly. "My, and who's this?" Julia glanced over John's shoulder at me.

John waved me over, and I took a small step forward. "Roxanne, Mum. She moved in with Elaine Porter not too long ago." I gave a little wave.

"Brilliant!" Julia beamed. "Bobby, Julie, Jackie, come on in! Johnny's here!" I frowned at how unnaturally happy she was. Two little girls came running in, hugging John, squealing. A larger man followed, his thin moustache slightly untidy. John was smiling, which made me feel guilty for not approving of Julia. I felt like Mimi. "Sit down, sit down!" She insisted, so I sat beside John on a sofa. Julia plopped herself down on the other side of John, pressing me into the side of the armrest. She hugged him again, making me uncomfortable before she leant over to the other end and pulled out a record. I squinted to look at the title. 'My Son John, To Me You Are So Wonderful.' I cringed. "Your favourite!" Julia squealed before putting it on the turntable, that was already spinning, waiting for John's arrival. He turned to grin at me.

"Isn't this great?" He asked.

I shook my head.

John's eyebrows furrowed angrily at me before Julia tapped his shoulder. "Bifters, you two?" She held out cigarettes. I turned mine down, but John took his, pulling out a lighter in the process.

"Ta, Mum." He said, muffled by the cig in his mouth as he lit it.

The song was terrible. It was cheesy and repetitive. Sitting on the couch, I stared off to the other side of the room as Julia, John, and his two sisters danced around. Bobby stayed seated across from me, but I ignored him, and the other four's 'jolly good time.' I wanted to walk out, but it'd be rude, and I'd probably get lost on my way back home anyways. I groaned quietly, throwing my head back as John was pulled up by Julia to dance with her and the other two girls.

After a few hours, Julia had sent John off with a few sandwiches, wishing me a 'farewell until next time.' Yes, sure. I'd rather not go back, it was terrifyingly boring.

"Why don't you just live with Julia?" I asked as we made our way down a sidewalk, a few streets away from Julia's house.

John's chipper mood seemed to vanish when I had asked that question. "She made me choose between her and Alf." He murmured.

"What?"

"They made me choose between one another when I was a kid. Who I loved more. I chose her, but Mimi took me in," He snorted. "Always running to Mummy, aren't I?" I stayed quiet, listening to our feet hit the pavement rhythmically. "Sorry." He apologized after a minute.

I wasn't sure if both parents being dead was worse than not even living with one or seeing the other. "I know how you feel," I commented.

"No, you don't, you can still see your parents in the same room." He muttered angrily as if I had offended them.

I scoffed. "They're dead, John."

He stared at me, as if I had said something much more obscure than I actually had. "Oh." I held my forearms protectively as we kept walking.

I can still remember the funeral. Alice and I had asked for them to put 'Till Death Do Us Part' on their gravestones- it was one of Mum's favourite sayings, she had it displayed on the wall above her and Dad's bed. Our family from all over the country had come to the funeral, even Dad's sister who had been living in Italy. All of Mum's siblings were there. The McCartneys, Jack, Jim, and Joe, and Ann, Millie, and Jane.

I stopped, making John trip over himself a little. "Oh my God." I breathed. "John,"

He raised an eyebrow, scrunching up his nose at me. "Huh?" It must've seemed strange to him.

"I remember where I know Paul from," I grinned excitedly. John looked more and more confused, each word I spoke. "We're cousins!"

John gazed at me with a blank expression. "Erm... You and Paul... Cousins?" He closed his eyes as if he was trying to comprehend this. "Should we tell him?"

I shook his arm wildly. "Yes!" It felt so nice, finally, somebody I could talk to in this bloody city!

John had taken me to the McCartney home, a ways from either Julia or Mimi's houses, knocking on the door. I had the time to explain a little more of what the situation was, but John still didn't understand it much.

James, Jim opened the door. "Can I help you? Oh. Hello, John." He seemed a bit disgruntled at John, like he didn't like Paul hanging around with him. Uncle Jim, as I should say looked at me funny. He seemed to recognize me as well. "Who might you be?"

I ran a hand through my hair, smiling uncontrollably. "Oh, goodness. This is brilliant. Can you bring Paul down, please?" Uncle Jim narrowed his eyes but called for Paul, who came downstairs swiftly.

"Ay, John, mate. You too, Roxanne." He clapped hands with John before grinning at me. I couldn't stop smiling, it felt intoxicating how excited I was by this.

John poked me. "Roxanne's got something to tell you, I hear."

"Paul! It's me, Heather!" I grasped his wrists. Jim and Mary McCartney were the only ones of Mum's siblings to stay after the funeral for a few days, the rest left. I had never met Paul before, but he and Mike, his brother, and Alice and I got along very well, and were very good friends for the time we were together. The four of them had stayed with Grandmother and us for a few days, until returning to Liverpool.

His eyes lit up, mouth opening. "Heather? Cousin Heather?" Paul echoed. "Hell, it is!" He turned around and shouted into the house. "Dad! Mike! It's Heather! She's moved to Liverpool!" Paul's grin was much wider than before.

I looked over his shoulder as Mike came practically tumbling down the stairs. "Is Aunt Mary here?"

Paul's face fell. "She, erm, actually passed away last year." I stopped, my hands in midair.

"Aunt Mary?"

He wiped his eye with his palm. "Cancer. I guess I'm halfway in your situation, yeah?" I hesitated before hugging Paul tightly. "I still can't believe it's you," He murmured as Uncle Jim and Mike came into the doorway. I had no idea what John was doing, but if he had left I could always ask Paul for directions back.

"I'll be, Heather." Uncle Jim smiled. It was wonderful to hear my first name again. Roxanne was getting old, quick, but I couldn't do much about it. "We're so glad you're here. How is Liverpool treating you?"

They led me inside to a sitting room, where pictures of Aunt Mary were all over the place. I felt a great deal of sadness because of her absence. John apparently had left, which made me a deal agitated. I had stayed for his visit with his mother, why couldn't he stay here? "I'm so sorry about Aunt Mary."

"We're trying to keep that private," Uncle Jim replied solemnly. "Mike? Have you got anything to say?"

He had been staring at me until now. "Yes, Heather, I'm happy you've moved here- The lot of our cousins are mostly blokes, you were Paul and I's favourite one." I grinned as Paul nodded in agreement. "Though I do wish Mum was back."

Uncle Jim placed his arm around Mike's shoulders sadly. "We can't bring her back, Michael. All we can do is remember her dearly." I stayed sitting, my hands folded in my lap. "Has that Lennon boy left?" He looked around me, and I shrugged. I hadn't any idea why John didn't come inside. Paul and I were his friends. Was he jealous? Or was it Uncle Jim? The latter seemed much more likely- it was rather selfish of me to think John would be jealous of- or over me when it came to Paul, who had just then nodded. "Good. Now, Heather, darling, it'd be in your best interests to not associate with him, he's trouble if I've ever known it." Paul glanced at me helplessly. "I already don't like Paul hanging around with him, but who's to stop the lad from living his life? Only his mother could stop him from these sort of things, 'innit right, Paulie?" His son nodded again.

I had stayed for probably another hour, before asking for directions then heading back off to Menlove.

Elaine greeted me when I had walked in, and I waved, but headed upstairs straight away. I pulled out the photo album yet again, flipping to the back. Nobody had really taken any pictures of the funeral, except Alice, who had taken some of us and all the cousins, and Grandmother, who had photographed the McCartney side of the family, as well as the Eaton, which was much more somber, I noted. They had compiled those last few pictures at the end of the book, a sad ending to their somewhat story. Nevertheless, there he was with Mike, Alice and I. Paul. This was actually wonderful. I'm sure they wouldn't report me to the police, we were family, and Paul would know how I felt.

It was already late, so I didn't feel like going to find out why John didn't stay when I had gone to Paul's. It was rather impish, honestly. I hung around for his mother's bloody 'praise John' party or whatever it was, why couldn't he stay to visit his friend?

I looked back at the picture of Paul and I beside each other. We did look alike, having the same facial structure and eyes shape, but we had different noses and mouths. My lips were longer and thinner than his. Glancing at Alice, I then decided to call her, so I headed back downstairs.

-

"You telephoning that sister of yours again?" Elaine asked the moment I picked up the phone.

I could feel my stomach churning. "Yes, might as well get it in while I can, yeah?"

Elaine hummed impatiently. "I suppose."

"Hello, Alice?"

"Oh. Heather. Hello." Alice's voice came as a drawl. It made me uncomfortable. Why did she hate me all of the sudden? She was supporting my choice to leave just weeks ago! "It's been awhile since you called."

My hands grew clammy as they held the telephone. "Y-yes, I'm sorry. I was just so busy the last few days and I-"

"I know. Just end this little game you're playing and come home."

"What?"

Alice sighed from the other end.

I looked to see if Elaine was nearby, then turned towards a corner, talking in a hush. "Alice- Cousin Paul and Mike- I've found them. Uncle Jim too!"

She stopped, and for once, her mood was lighter. "Really? How are they all? How about Aunt Mary? Oh, goodness, that's brilliant." There was a pause. "I'm a little more comfortable with you living there, now that I know there's family. But, still, Heather, really!" Her voiced dropped back to her serious tone.

"Aunt Mary's dead."

"She's-?"

"Paul told me. Cancer." Elaine then rounded the corner, staring daggers at me. I waved to her rigidly until she walked away again, my stomach churning. "Look, I'll send you letter from now on. Elaine- I've told you about her, correct? Well, she doesn't fancy me talking to you much."

I could practically see Alice pinching the bridge of her nose. "Yes, okay. You send the first one, then. I haven't the slightest clue where you're living."

"Great. Love you!"

"You too." Alice murmured, then hung up.

-

I was sitting on a chair, a cushioned, fluffy, warm chair, that I could practically sink into. Everything around me was dark, so I just snuggled deeper into the cushion.

Then, two other seats slowly appeared in front of me, one person sitting in each. On the left, was John. His legs were crossed and he grinned at me, wiggling his eyebrows. I didn't recognize the boy in the other chair. His hair was in a quiff, clad in the cutest red sweater. He had high cheekbones, a thin face, bushy eyebrows, and large, brown eyes. He was sitting rigidly in the chair, his hands folded in his lap.

I stared at them, and they stared at me back for what felt like an hour before they spoke in unison. "So? Who's it gonna be?"

I woke up with a start, my breathing stilted. Dreams, strange as that, had plagued my sleep ever since I had moved to Liverpool. Maybe there was something in the water, but I had never dreamt so vividly in Bristol, ever. They always ended with me waking up in the middle of the night, where I spent restless hours procrastinating until the sun peeked over the horizon.

Since Paul and Mike and I had reunited, I had visited a few more times before Paul came over to Elaine's, as John was also over. "Oh, hey, gear!" Paul said cheerfully as I opened the door with John behind me, who grunted. "Great to see you outside of a practice, yeah?" He smiled at John. I glanced over my shoulder. He was reminding me of Alice, in the fact that I had no idea why he was acting that way. I wished I could know why people do what they do. Why they think in such a way.

Blowing the thought away, I turned back to Paul. "I've got to show you my room, it's much better than the one in Bristol!" I tugged his sleeve.

"Yes," He replied excitedly. "That one was rather small, wasn't it?" I nodded before heading off to hop up the stairs, letting Paul and John trail behind me. Opening my door, Paul scurried in, inspecting every nook and cranny in the entire room as John stood rigidly in the doorway, arms crossed.

He stopped me just as I was going get the photo album to show Paul. "Are you two actually cousins or what?" John stared at Paul. "He takes a real liking to you, a little more than cousins, yeah? Makes me a trifle uncomfortable."

I scrunched up my nose. "What, are you jealous or something?"

John looked away, his face turning a little red. "No, I'm just concerned." I scoffed then headed off to pull the album out of my drawers.

"Is that what I think it is?" Paul grinned as we flipped through the book. Mum had even incorporated some pictures of our families, but it was mostly those on the McCartney side. "Yes! Ah, Mum. Hey, we don't have this photo at home, mind if I borrow it for a while?" The picture was of Mike and him as children out in a field beside Aunt Mary. I nodded, carefully pulling it out of the page.

I handed it to him. "Here, take it. No need to give it back." Paul held it gingerly.

"Thanks!"

John cussed sharply as a string on his guitar broke. He had agitatedly been tuning it, and apparently had tightened it too much. "Fucking shit." We glanced at him, and his face turned red. "It doesn't matter, go back to your photos." He then snapped when we looked up.

I shrugged, turning a page. It was of Alice and I with Grandfather and Grandmother, who surprisingly, was smiling. It was odd. I hadn't seen her smiling in years. My sister and I were in matching jumpers, bows neatly in our hair, though Alice's were a tad ruffled. She had been quite the animal when we were younger. I snorted softly at the thought. Grandfather was in a tweed jacket, and Grandmother in the same overcoat she'd been wearing for years now. I supposed it reminded her of Grandfather. Would I turn out like that? Widowed, stuck with my granddaughter and all I had to remind myself of my husband was a coat. I shuddered. That would be a miserable life. "So you were living with her up until recently?" Paul asked, poking the photograph. I nodded, my eyes catching on Alice's arm linked around mine. We were so close. "What about Alice?"

I paused, then glanced over at Paul beside me on my bed. "Oh... Alice?" I said slowly as John kept agitatedly plucking at his guitar strings. "She, uh... She moved out, too, a couple years ago, but she's still in Bristol."

"Shame," Paul breathed as he stretched before flipping to the next page. "I'd have loved to speak to her again as well. You're the biggest relief I've had in awhile, though, Heather." He smiled at me and John snorted loudly. I couldn't help but glance at him before turning back to my cousin.

I clapped my hand on his shoulder. "I know. Me too. I don't know how long I would've lasted here without knowing you were around." Paul pulled me into a tight hug, and I felt safer than I have in ages.