A/N: Chatted it up on the phone yesterday w/ sweetiedee and myhiggins25 they had me in stitches or was it them telling me of my foolishness that had all of us in stitches anyway I got some good ideas from them. Let's go!
Happy Reading (:
Mercedes POV
Arf [You guys are back you know that I got to drop a number 3 which is a number 1 and 2.]
"Sam you want to take Conniehey for a walk so he can relieve himself?" He fell back on the bed. "You sleepy baby?"
"Yeah, I ate too much the itis was kicking in at the restaurant, call Stevie, JJ, J3, Puck, skrnx…."
"I see where Stevie gets it from talking then you fall right to sleep, TJ call JJ so the three of us can go for a walk."
Arf [I'll go get my leash.]
"Uncle JJ mommy wants to know if you would like to join us in going for a walk, daddy would but he got itis he over did it at the restaurant. Is Aunt Stacey coming? Okay see you soon."
"Thank you Conniehey." I took the leash from his mouth clipping to his collar. "What he say?"
"He's on his way but he's coming alone Aunt Stacey is out for the count do you need me to go get your sneakers mommy?"
"Yes, please." He grabbed my shoe bag pulling out my sneakers. "Thank you baby." I slipped into my shoes a few minutes there was a knock at the door. "JJ, is that you?" I stood on my tippy toes peering through the peephole. "Yeah, that's him. Hey bro."
"Mercedes, TJ, Alex J and….Sam is knocked smooth out. I told him to lay off the extra tacos. Conniehey wassup boy?"
Arf [Nothing much going on with me Bailey fixed our lives and Lord Tubbington and me are best friends. Who knew like the saying goes, a little dog shall lead them.]
"Make sure I have my key for the room, I do, let me do this first then we can be out." I threw a blanket over Sam. "See you when get back from this walk." I kissed him on the lips. "Let's go."
"Can I hold his leash?"
"Yes you can but don't go too far. I know you heard by now what happened this morning?"
"No, what?"
I chew at my lip. "Sam and I took a shower together this morning I come out the bathroom to either wake him or tell him to go into the bathroom, he's not there. I checked the adjacent room, nothing I screamed for Sam I noticed his shoes were missing and there was a chair by the door. He opened the door leaving out with Conniehey in that instant my world stopped; Sam was about to leave to go in search of him Azimio was at the door with TJ and Conniehey slowly the wheels started turning. It was only 5 minutes that I knew he was gone but seemed like forever."
"Did you have a talk with him, he can't be doing that. I know it's his first time but with "Jack", not being able to keep eyes on him one little mistake and something happens."
"I know. I'm trying not to think about it with Alexandra J on board don't want to stress out to stress her out then I end up on bedrest, I've been doing too much in these last few weeks, studio, photoshoot, interview, then I stopped by a meetings every Thursday to be that ear and retell my story, I need to share my story, each share the wound heals. Yes, I'm with Sam but part of me is still wounded."
"Does Sam know this?"
"No and yes." I sighed. "JJ something can set off a trigger I don't have them often but the recent one was of, TJ set off at trigger he looked at me and I swear I was looking at little Tank it froze me in my tracks."
"So, what you do to forget the trigger?"
"I took a few deep breaths and it was gone as soon as it came."
He put his arm around me. "That's good but you're going to have to ease up on something you're gonna dislike me when I saw this but how about the music." I close my eyes listening to his words. "I'm not saying take the hiatus you did before but 1 month 2 month break then slowly edge yourself back into this. Your music is everything but your number one priority is."
"Which tree you want to pee on Conniehey? You go a few to pick from sniff around we got all day."
Arf [I want to make my pee be on a tree to be the perfect one. Nope some other dog peed on this tree, wait I found it. Ahhh….pee on the tree, pee on the tree TJ you got try this once.]
"Alex just moved."
"Your kids have a seat rest for a little bit I'm going to talk to TJ."
"Conniehey you want some privacy while you drop your number two."
Arf [Yes please number 1's aren't that bad but I have to squat to show all my junk stand in front of me this only for Princess eyes.]
JJ stooped down beside TJ. "Care to tell Uncle JJ what you did this morning?" TJ turned around looking at me. "Don't look at your mommy, turn and face me, raise your head. Tell me."
"Conniehey had to pee so mommy and daddy were in the bathroom I knocked on the door no answer so I took him myself then Azimio showed up, I told mommy and daddy I was sorry."
"That's good but you can't do that TJ I know you want to be big boy and do big boy things but you have to wait a few more years before you can venture out alone I know your parents drilled in you can't do this and I'm going to sound like a broken record along with them, you can't do this just one time and…I'll put it like this if something were too happened to you our worlds would crash everything would stop until we get you back. Nothing would matter to me in that moment."
"Even Aunt Stacey."
"She would matter but you'd matter most, if anything and God forbids but if anything should happen to you you'll know that your daddy, me, Uncle Stevie, Uncle Puck, J3, Uncle Artie, Uncle Blaine, and Uncle Kurt we're coming to look for you along with all of your crazy aunts." They both laughed. "You know you got some crazy aunts like Aunt Denise, Aunt Mary, and Aunt Tana they up at the restaurant timing themselves jumping in the car and turning the ignition and how soon can Santana set stuff on fire."
"I agree I looked up and the waitress had run outside with the fire extinguisher and yet we still weren't banned. These restaurants must love mayhem and foolishness."
"But nothing is going to happen to me Uncle JJ and mommy nothing is going to happen to me I had a dream that Tank showed up somewhere and I was there alone and Uncle Puck came out of nowhere shooting him then the crazy aunts did their thing and I was good."
"Okay but still to be on the safe side when you're outside an adult must be with you."
"Mommy but Tank doesn't know where we live."
"And that's a good thing! Sis you about ready to head back to the room I think Conniehey is all...
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH…GET THAT VICIOUS DOG OUT MY BED! Y'ALL ALREADY TRIED TO FEED ME TO THE ANIMALS AT THE DRIVE THRU ZOO COME BACK I'M GETTING TENDERIZED FOR DOG FOOD! I'M STILL TRYING TO LIVE!"
Arf [Aunt Denise done went over the deep end.]
"OUT, OUT, OUT, OUT!" She pushed them out the room slamming the door. "I can finally get some relaxation in the spa buzz is losing its effect."
Stevie banged on the door. "Denise you kicked us out but you forgot…"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…y'all left the dog! Come get her before she eats me!"
They covered their mouths laughing. "Let's go for a walk she kicked us out let her put Bailey out."
"What if she has her hatchets of choice daddy? You know she bought them along."
"Please I put them in car while she took a quick nap nothing will happen to Bailey. Hey, taking my boy Conniehey for a walk."
"Stevie, why did you do that?" He shrugged. "Don't give me an, I don't know what I did."
He chuckled. "Oh you mean leaving Denise in the room with Bailey."
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…SAVE ME! SHE JUST JUMPED ON MY LEG. I WON'T BE ABLE TO WALK! I GOTTA WALK TO BEAT TANK UP! WHERE ARE MY LEATHER GLOVES? SHE SUCKED ON MY TOE! I NEED THAT TOE!"
"What are you guys talking about? Here Deja take the key and go get Bailey so mommy can calm down."
"Okay, TJ you wanna come with me?" He handed the leash to Stevie. "I take that as a yes, we'll be back soon come on butt face we're going to need security to get cut down first you can be the offering like mommy says, "I need to survive".
"Stevie you need to tell Denise to put that on shirt and I'll tell Mary to put her saying on a shirt too, we were talking about TJ leaving the room, Mercedes filled me in, he took Conniehey for a walk alone. I already talked to him Sam and Mercedes too he good might need a fresher but what are we going to do tonight."
"The adults can go out Deja can stay back to watch the kids, we don't need to turn up tonight we did that enough already."
"Cool, sis I enjoyed this walk with you and TJ I'm heading back to the room. The itis is finally setting in." He kissed me on the cheek. "I'll catch up with you later, y'all made it out alive."
"Yeah, Aunt Denise hid in the bathroom she was on the phone telling Aunt Mary her life is in danger so we snuck in the bathroom and Bailey licked her, she tossed the phone but I sat on the toilet catching it then she kicked us out."
"Nice save, TJ."
Arf [Cousin.]
Arf [Conniehey she really lost it was awesome too bad you weren't there.]
Arf [Me either.]
"We're going over to this bench y'all talk freely I have to call Preston so we can talk about our little dream PJ."
"Okay, sis I want to talk about TJ but there is something else I want to touch on first and it's your other phone, do you have it on this trip?"
"Yes, I have it I haven't charged it in a while." I raised my eyebrow. "Why?"
"Nothing just I haven't heard you say anything about it you should charge it when you get the chance and listen to it. He could've left you a message seeing as he loves to talk. Did you listen to Stank's interview on The KiJay Smith Show? I'm going for a drive, JT and Deja you stay here."
Tank's POV
"I love talking! My interview has only yesterday but shit I can't get enough of me, those weak ass Mercedes stans can suck my dick! I'm gaining fans minute by minute and I added another $250 to my go fund me."
"Yeah bro you can tell them to suck my dick too! Jenny, Kianna, and that old man wrong for doing y'all like that. So when are we going back to the house so I can't check this dude out."
"Yeah, we're going over there at the first of the month to collect rent we'll see then get his ass drunk so we can spill all their shit find out where they live at. Call Sarah since you got a phone now to check and see if TJ's birth certificate come?"
"Hey Sarah." I checked the mirror. "The mail been wait let me put you on speaker phone. Go ahead."
"The mailman just dropped the mail and here it is did you want me to open it because I was going to wait on you to come pick me up."
"No go ahead and open it, tell me what is say."
"Okay when it comes to the birth certificate of a Thaddeus Joshua oh my gosh! I can't believe this shit! Tank you told me that this certificate was incomplete this thing is complete and Sam name is down as the father."
I slammed on the breaks. "The fuck! You kidding my ass right now! No that's bullshit that's not fucking legit! I knew my son had the Evans name but she done disrespected my ass by not telling me I need you to sign this. See how that bitch does me! Let me pull over to the side of the road and call her Sarah we'll be by in a little while."
"Call Mercedes."
"Calling Mercedes…."
"Straight to voicemail I'm tired of leaving these damn messages I just want to talk to you, you probably heard that I sent for TJ's birth certificate I got it In the mail today and I feel some kind of fucking way that you'd stoop so damn low to hurt me, how dare you have Sam's name on the fucking certificate as the daddy when he's not the daddy never have been never fucking will be! You out here spreading all the damn lies! Like I said before I will find you and fuck you up there will not be no getting away from me you got a mini tribe to support your ass I got the Tankettes, Mary, Denise, Deja, Monica, Zini, Juju, Queen, zeejack, and more we coming for that ass. You better watch! Let's go by their house make a visit."
"Evans, he signed my son's birth certificate! My son, my blood!" Tightly I gripped the steering wheel replaying her words. "My son."
"Tank bro you gripping the steering wheel so damn tight your damn hand turned white lessen the grip."
"I'm good bro TJ having the Evans name no damn biggie but this shit…she should have asked me to sign."
"You wouldn't be going through this if you signed it, I'm glad I thought that why didn't you sign it. Why did she have to ask you?" He quickly turned his head. "Look the gate is open. Hey that's Lucky! Lucky!"
"I saw what you did there I won't forget that shit I promise you that ask me a stupid ass question."
"….yeah oh fuck, Tank and Shane just showed up. I know."
"Who is that you are on the phone with? Is that Puck?" I snatched his phone. "Give me this shit. Hello Puck, aren't you happy to hear my voice I didn't ask for a damn response. Where is TJ? None of my damn business….wait… bitch ass hung up the phone. Nice to see you again Luck let's go inside have us a little talk. Just some questions."
"Man I'm not going inside to talk to you for nothing, we can talk out here, just let me lay down the rules you don't ask about Sam, Mercedes, or TJ everything else is fine."
"What if I want to ask about them?" He kicked me in the balls. "Damn! Shit! I have the control here? Shane get his ass."
He kicked him in the gut. "The only person that is in control is me! You need to stop bringing your ass around here I'm not answering any of your fucking questions. Tank you just need to fall back and leave you should be here in the first place I don't know why the let your ass out you out for trouble, you out to bring harm and crumble worlds, you a fucking devil, your day is coming and I will be there to watch your demise."
"Motherfucker ain't shit going to happen to me. I do what the fuck I want." I punched him in the face. "Shane get your ass up." I grabbed his phone. "M, M, shit no Mercedes." I kicked him in the face. "I know you got Mercedes number." I slapped a couple times. "I know you got her number."
"I don't! I don't have her damn number Tank I never have and I never will!" I cocked my gun. "Want to say that again."
"I….Stevie what are you doing here?"
KAPOW
TJ's POV
Daddy checked himself out in the mirror. "Daddy why are all the adults going out and the kids have to stay back here we want to go out to eat too."
"It's only for the adults; no kids allowed we have pizza being delivered for you guys gonna watch some movies have a kiddie slumber party Sunday we'll have a little fun then it's back home. Back to life and back to reality."
"What are you guys going to talk about?" I pulled the cap off his cologne. "Smells good can you spray some on me."
"Just a little bit." He sprayed two sprits on my wrist. "Okay a little cologne lesson dab your wrist together then you're your neck those are the pulse points blood flow is there heats and dissipates it, is spreads a little tip for when you start wearing."
"I smell good, but you never answered my question on what y'all are going to be talking about." I stood on the chair. "Now to tie my tie."
"Don't really know TJ we'll figure out something to talk about while we're there, probably you, the baby and other happenings, PawPaw's upcoming wedding, JT's video that already has 200k views already. Where is my tie?"
"How do I look daddy? I look just like you."
"That you do handsome with my tie on. Want to learn how to tie a tie?"
"Yeah, I do, but I love when mommy ties your tie. Should go get her?"
"Sure, get her."
"Okay I'll be right back." I ran out the bathroom. "Mommy, first off you look pretty and smell good too can you come into the bathroom and tie daddy's tie."
"Thank you, baby, daddy knows how to tie his own tie. He told you to come get me. "I nodded me head. "Okay I can't deny that. You smell just like daddy."
"I know he put some of his cologne on me we had a mini lesson on how to apply it spritz, spritz dab, dab neck they're called the pulse points."
"That is right, baby can you help your man out." He smiled. "I need you to tie this."
"TJ this is how you tie a tie, this is a double Windsor let me fix daddy's color, then you seal with a kiss." Daddy leaned down meeting her lips. "What you think about that?"
"I love it. Real love, my mommy and daddy got real love…real love mommy daddy got some real love."
"We do, got your backpack filled with your games and Conniehey treats."
"Yes, I do, when are you and mommy going to say I do, PawPaw is getting married next week to glam-ma and y'all got engaged first!"
"Daddy and I will discuss our wedding with you soon, but you will be the ring bearer."
"When I bring it down the aisle daddy got to put a ring on it, it's approved by me it's what I wanted, oh oh oh Mommy, daddy, TJ and AJE we're a family a family!"
Mommy knocked on the door. "Hi Deja, got your mini boo and furry boo, here's $500."
"Thank you, TJ go jump on the bed watch Bailey and thank you. I'm going hunting with Preston and I need some new gear, you have fun."
"We will see you later TJ."
"Okay mommy and daddy you two have a great time."
Monday….
Jenny's POV
"And WE'RE BACK! It's Monday fic wise back to the hustle and bustle of the work week no game for the Chargers they'll be back on it next Sunday and it's an away game against my Ravens, Go Ravens I'm a part of the West Wing, anyway enough sports starting the top of the hour with Usher Good Kisser… Don't nobody kiss it like you, bang, bang, bang don't nobody kiss it like you don't nobody kiss it like you…bang bang…"
"Before continue on with the fic I just want to say that Tank hit me up begging me to do this announcement for him so I'll do it. Tank is looking for a Private Investigator to help him with something of which I don't know I'm getting a lot of tweets and text from our text line telling me that they don't hear the show so we're having technical difficulties which means that this part won't be available on the app. Oh we're finally on the air! Hello you hear us tweet and text us."
"We are…."
I cut Kianna off singing. "It's 5 in the mornin' Jay is up looking for some lyrics at 5 in the morning I can only think about doing one thing, see I told y'all I'm not wrap to tight, nobody else can't compete with my, I clown so much I make wanna you cry, you read it then you lose your mind, you make me wanna joke and take it higher, my ideas leave me so inspired, I'm such a good kidder, nobody does it better, cause I'm such a good tweaker got jokes in my head oh baby, I'm such a good tweaker Imma clown on this whole thing oh baby, I know a lot of songs I tweaked a lot of lyrics so I'm guessin' that it's true I'll make you holla and I bet few dollars can't nobody tweak it like me bang bang bang, can't nobody tweak it like me."
"Really J, you just gonna tweak on the spot."
"Yup…darn it! I got to go to the restroom I'll be right back let me take my phone, reading material." I ran down the restroom locking the door behind me. "Darn it! I got the wrong phone. It's good sit on the throne here listen to the show."
"So Jay had to step away I'm suppose to do the news but y'all can hit up a website to get that little bit of information I just want to vent right quick on people jocking my shit it don't be trying to do what I do when you don't have my budget and you always crying that you broke. I was taught if you don't hustle you don't eat. Stop crying about how broke you are and do something to change your situation. You're supposed to be grown right? Just remember that you spent money you could've saved for other things trying to do what I do….."
"Kianna is going off! Dammit where is the spray? I need it.
"We're jumping off the final half hour of the show but where is Jay? She left in the 2nd hour. Hold up I'm getting word Jay is in the bathroom wait she's calling into the show. Jay you on the line."
"Wassup I'm listening to the show on the app I'm on the throne handling some….darn it! Those tacos are talking back let me act a fool right quick, poop we all do it but why when you have to go somewhere or you just want to get in the bathroom and out quick it's always the messy kind you have to wipe and wipe and wipe, and if you don't all you butt itches and you have to go back! Don't act like you never been there, then you always go that one turd that never wants to come through and it be the littlest one making the most noise! Then there is the magical poop, yeah folk I'm talking about number twos that slips through your cheeks and you go wipe and it's nothing on the paper! Then you got that big ol' turd that has to work its way out so you feel it…wait…"
"Jay needs just a little more Jesus to help her along the way!"
"Yo you got the lyrics wrong Kianna the song should go, I need just a little more increase, I need just a little more increase to help me clown along the way! Until tomorrow iamJLS" *FLUSHES TOILET*