The world was red. The world was quiet.
Pain was my only companion in this place, and I couldn't think for it. Where was I…who was I…
I drifted in and out of dreams. I was home, my lover's sweet scent filling my nose as I lay on his side of the bed in the early morning. Our little one was still that morning, granting me peace and comfort…Suddenly I was terribly sad, a deep longing tearing through me and I burrowed deeper into the covers…
I was in a field of flowers, a beautiful black haired man beside me, stroking a strand of my long brown hair from my cheek. I smiled. Laughter drew my eyes to the field before us, where two beautiful children played…
Pain pulled me from this place, and I was consumed with the feeling of being dragged, the smooth floor frigid beneath me…Scraping to my left, but I could not place it…the pain eased, and I fell once more…
I was on the road with my brothers, the grass comfortable beneath me in the quiet night. I scooted closer to the fire and leaned against Alphonse's cool back, sharing in his calm. Edward smiled from across the flames and tossed a gleaming object to me. It was his pocket watch, glimmering and moving in slow motion as it fell towards me. I lifted my hands to catch it.
Edward's face suddenly contorted in fear, and his voice broke into my mind, contrasting dramatically with the calm night.
Alex! Alphonse!
The watch struck the ground and shattered…
Momentarily I was pulled from my dreams as the pain in my chest grew unbearable, and a scene of red flashed before me. The walls were red, the ceiling was red, the air was red…Black figures stood over me and a gentle touch drifted over my cheek. I flinched back, afraid, although I couldn't remember why…I struggled to stay awake, but the exhaustion was so absolute…
The scene changed. Winry stood before me, Edward's watch clutched to her chest, pretty blue eyes glimmering with emotion. "Promise me…Promise me you will return."
I smiled. "I promise to return as long as you promise to always wait for us."
She smiled back, her eyes watering. "Idiot. What is family for?"
Brother, don't listen to her! Alex would never want us to use the philosopher's stone on him if it meant sacrificing other people. And neither would I!
Alphonse's voice shattered my dreams, and I was pulled forth once more. He was afraid. Why was my little brother afraid? What did he mean…sacrifice…the philosopher's stone…the philosopher's stone!
I struggled. Another soft touch on my cheek startled me. I pulled away. Black, glimmering hair surrounded me. I struggled harder. What was holding me back? What was this pain? Alphonse! Edward!
…I'm going to kill them…!
No. NO. Leave them alone! Leave my brothers alone!
Lust, can I eat them?
Go ahead…
Stop it. STOP IT. They're my…
Stop it! Please! He's my little brother!
Another touch, and this time I gripped the hand, though my strength was gone. I turned my head, trying desperately to get out of the haze that trapped me. Edward kneeled on the floor, his expression anguished and shoulders bowed, bedraggled strands of blonde hair fell around his face and in his eyes. Defeated. Ed…Ed! Around him was red, so much red…it swirled and contorted, almost calling out to me…
My older brother threw back his head and howled, the sound so full of grief and fear that my body jerked in response to go to him. Something tried to hold me back, but with a vicious force of will, I broke it, feeling the bond physically snap against my soul. Agony more intense than that I was already feeling tore through me, but I moved through it anyway. Edward was in trouble. My brothers were in trouble! I was already on my feet, my body feeling as if it weighed several tons, but I would not be stopped even as claws ripped at me from behind, the flashes of pain nothing compared to the agony of my soul. An enraged scream tore from behind me, but I could not hear it, such was the roaring in my ears.
Edward's cry cut off abruptly and he slammed his hands together. I ran as fast as I could towards him, my hand outreached. I had to stop him. I couldn't comprehend what was going on but I had to stop him.
Edward brought his hands apart with a spark of white alchemy. I watched as if in slow motion as he brought them to the menacing black lines before him.
Halfway.
Faster…my limbs were so heavy…!
Three quarters.
Faster! I reached out.
Just as his hands were about to meet the floor, he looked up. Time stood still as our eyes met. His expression fell and eyes widened in terror, pupils narrowing to onyx pinpoints, making his eyes look almost entirely golden, and all remaining color draining from his face. I was so close…! My hand just barely touched the smooth skin of Edward's cheek, wet from tears.
Ed's hands met the floor.
My world went white.
o-0-o
The world was quiet once more. And calm. I woke slowly. The pain…the agony I had been feeling for so long…was gone…
Light filtered through my closed lids, and I opened my eyes slowly.
White. The world was completely white.
Did I die? Was I finally free of all of the pain and despair? Was this what it was like to finally be taken from the mortal plane? I laughed at myself inwardly. This wasn't so bad. All this time, ever since Lust had told me, I had feared death, feared my own end. But this wasn't so bad…
Footsteps echoed in the silence of the void. For a moment I didn't react, just reveling in the peace. A pang of regret flitted through me and I closed my eyes once more. I guess I wouldn't make it home after all…I'm sorry Kyle…Alyssa…
"Wake, young one. It's time to wake up." A strong male's voice drifted through the air as if the very space was carrying the heavy sound to my ears. I opened my eyes once more. Was that God? Had I gone to heaven? Funny, I never have believed in him…
"Face me, my son."
I sat up, my body feeling heavy, but no longer weighed down by pain. Dully I noted that I was dressed completely in black, the material clinging to my skin like soft velvet. I lifted my eyes sluggishly and stared at the strange figure before me.
The man, for he was clearly a man, was large and shrouded in shadow, completely opposite of the void space surrounding us. I could not see his eyes, nor any other features besides his silhouette.
"Who are you?" My voice was soft, husky.
My only response to that was a grin. White teeth were exposed on the completely black figure, seeming to jump into of existence from the shadows.
"Don't sound so defeated, my wayward son. You have not died. Your story is not over."
A spark ignited in my heart, and my dull eyes widened. "I'm…I'm not dead?" So there was hope? This wasn't the End?
His grin widened before disappearing once more into darkness. "I have been watching over you closely. Since the very moment you were created, even as you were created. It was interesting, seeing one of you born without my direct interference…"
"You're the one…" I realized. "You're the one who created the others."
He tilted his head. "Well, maybe I did interfere a little…" he said, completely ignoring my words. "You see, I'm quite the meddlesome old man. I couldn't help but poke my nose in once I realized what was happening." He turned and began to walk around me slowly. "Do you want to know what really happened, Alex?"
I did not answer, but it seemed like he did not really need my input.
"When little Edward and Alphonse desired to bring their mother back, they were doomed to failure. Too young, too inexperienced, and so very, very wrong in their assumptions. They had no idea about what they were really trying to do…You see, there is no such thing as bringing people back from the dead. There is only the bait of such a feat that I had planted millennia ago to encourage people to make my children. The homunculi." The man seemed to sigh, his shoulders heaving once. "It is a rather imprecise process, and most of the time it fails. Your transmutation was a failure. They didn't have the concentration or the drive to make a perfect doll of their mother. Little Edward lost his focus, and you became an image of little Alphonse instead…"
This wasn't news…we had already figured this out, although the revelation that this man was behind it was interesting. I still felt disconnected though, and merely stayed silent to listen, tracking his movements as he wandered around me.
"Still, I felt there was an opportunity in this failure that I could not pass up. You see, I have this little character flaw of mine that I just had to get rid of…My empathy."
Empathy?
"In order to become the perfect being I know I can be, I use my children to safeguard my flaws, the things that make me imperfect. Although there was little chance of you surviving, I transferred my empathy to you…It as such a waste, but it couldn't be helped…"
He transferred his empathy? Was that why…?
"Much to my delight, I found out that my Lust was there. My little girl can be such a handful sometimes…" He chuckled to himself, appearing to slip his hands into unseen pockets. "She has quite the infatuation with you, my son. I'm so very glad she was able to save you."
My mind was stuck. His empathy. That's why I could feel the emotions of others.
His grin was back. "My name is Truth, but you can call me Father."
Truth…I had heard that somewhere before. That's right. Mustang often used that name as a curse, or called his name in thanks, as I would a god. Truth was what all alchemists sought. Truth was the God of Alchemy.
The menacing deity crouched before me, and I peered into his black face, disconcerted. "I'm ready to welcome you to our family, Empathy," his smile fell, "but there is one little problem. You interfered with my sacrifice's transmutation. I'm afraid I must demand a price."
He stood tall, towering above my seated form and seeming to look down upon me. An energy gathered around us and my hair stood on end, causing to grit my teeth in alarm. As the pressure built, Truth seemed to grow larger, until suddenly the energy peaked.
From behind Truth, a massive form burst from the white floor, causing me to jerk halfway to my feet in fear. Up and up the form went, until it shuddered to a halt several stories above us. Truth moved to the side and I got my first good look at the Gate.
I gaped, staring at the source of all alchemy that I had only heard stories of. Only rumors, and the shouts of Edward in the night. But it was real. It was massive. And I was afraid. My apathy fled and my heartbeat quickened.
This was what had taken Edward's arm and leg and what had taken Alphonse's entire body. The doors were made of stone, thick and heavy. Etched into its ancient looking surface was a great diagram, branching off like a huge tree, and archaic symbols I could not possibly understand.
A great boom resounded from the other side of the door, as if something was trying to get out. I jumped badly, clenching my hands on trembling knees.
"It's unfortunate, but even I must pander to the gate's demands." Truth was standing behind me now, and I was beginning to feel trapped. "Now what should I have it take, because something must be taken…you understand this…Equivalent exchange, you know…" He played with a lock of my hair, but I was completely seized by the terrible sight in front of me. "Relax, my son…I won't let it destroy you…Hm, I can't have it take anything physical. You would just heal…I know. I'll have it take your hope."
"My…hope," my voice trembled in question. What did that mean?
"Yes," his voice was sad and regretful, almost fatherly, as if he was trying to comfort me. I felt sick. "You see, I felt that annoying little spark in you when I told you you weren't yet dead. That thread that's holding you to the world beyond the Gate; it is what has been driving you, but also what is holding you back…Yes, I will take your hope…It's time you saw the Truth…"
The immense doors in front of me cracked in a resounding boom and I watched in terror as they moved slowly open, groaning. I tried to back away, but Truth's hands gripped my shoulders from behind, unyieldingly strong.
A black abyss was revealed, and then a nightmare began. A great eye opened in the center of the swirling blackness, and I felt a presence that was menacing and cold. Calculating. Emotionless.
I cried out as black hands reached out towards me and gripped my body, tethering me to the Gate. Their touch was like ice, and I began to struggle.
But it was much too late for that. With a resounding yank I was pulled into the abyss. I looked back at Truth, reaching out in desperation, but he merely waved to me before turning his back and facing away from the Gate. The doors slammed shut.
I screamed as I was pulled at a breakneck pace through the darkness, the light behind me cutting off abruptly and plunging me in complete blackness. Images began shuttering behind my eyes, so fast I could barely process them. It was my memories; the ones I clung to so desperately in this world, the memories of my past life. Rapid fire, they flashed past me in the gloom, clearer than I had seen them in a long, long time. My mother, my father, my lover, my dreams of Alyssa, my best friends, my life.
And then abruptly I stopped. My hair settled around my shoulders once more as I panted, staring around me with wide eyes. The black hands writhed across my entire body still, grabbing greedily at my flesh. I shuddered and struggled, wondering if this was where they would tear me apart.
The fear was baseless, because that did not happen at all. No, what did happen was so much worse.
The world lit up in front of my red-violet eyes and, as if on a movie screen, a scene began playing.
It was of me, Alexandria, and my black haired lover, my Kyle, sleeping peacefully in our bed. I gasped as I recognized it as the night I had been pulled from my body.
Moonlight bathed the room in a soft glow. I was sprawled out on my back, my hands thrown above me and my round stomach exposed to the night air, shirt ridden up. The covers were kicked to the bottom of the bed, and my long brown hair was a tangled mess. My love slept beside me, one sturdy arm thrown over my middle, his chest and shoulders bare in his sleep. The scene was so peaceful, and so beautiful, that unbidden my hand reached forward and tears fell from my eyes.
But the peaceful scene was shattered not a moment later. Blue sparks began to dance over my body, lighting the room before extinguishing just as quickly. Then the nightmare began. My body convulsed violently as the last spark disappeared, jerking my lover awake. It began convulsing, and large green eyes opened wide. Kyle began screaming my name, but my body could not respond, its soul already gone. Hands desperately clutched at my chest as my body convulsed. Kyle grabbed his cell phone off the nightstand and dialed a number, screaming into the receiver a second later while still trying to hold me down.
The scene changed in a swirl of mist and my body was now in a hospital, doctors scrambling this way and that, trying to restrain me or trying to drug me. I was hooked up to a heart monitor that beeped so rapidly it almost sounded like one continuous noise.
On doctor almost injected me with something, but he was stopped by another. "No, you can't! The baby!"
He was shoved off though. "If this keeps up, both of them will die! Her heart can't take the strain!"
My body was screaming now, inhuman sounds emitting through my mouth.
"Dammit! What's wrong with her? What's causing this?"
"Sedate her!"
The scene changed once more.
My lover paced in a nondescript hallway, head clenched in trembling hands. Back, forth, back, forth…suddenly he whipped around, anxiety and grief so out of place his handsome face.
A white coated man appeared through the misty edges of the scene. His shoulders were slumped in defeat. Kyle walked up to him and grabbed his shoulders, shouting something, but I could not hear it. I was openly sobbing now, knowing what had happened. My fears were confirmed a second later when the doctor merely shook his head.
My love's face fell into one of the most heartbreaking expressions I had ever seen. He fell to his knees as his entire world was ripped out from underneath him.
Suddenly he was alone, the doctor disappearing in a swirl of white mist, and the scene changed around his hunched form. He was in an open field now, the sun bright and cheerful, laughing in the face of his misery. Figures appeared around him, all wreathed in black, but they only shimmered, formless heads bowed in grief. Shadowy hands patted Kyle's hunched form, but he would not react. He would only stare at the polished stone in front of him. Time seemed to speed up as he did not move. The figures around him disappeared one by one, but still he sat. The light turned golden and he was finally alone. With a trembling hand he pulled something from his pocket and stared down at it. It was a little black box. A ring box.
Then something happened that cemented my despair, and I let out an anguished cry of denial. My lover's expression turned cold. All the warmth, the arrogance, the love, the flaws and the perfections fell from him until there was nothing left. No expression at all. He dropped the ring box on the grave and stood, his face shut off from all of the world. Forever.
There was a loud screaming in my ears as I watched him walk away through the mist, and I realized it was coming from myself. I was reaching out, grabbing at his image, and crying. "NO! Kyle! I'm here! I'm right here!"
I had thought that by coming to this world, nothing more could be taken from me. I had thought that everything was already lost. But I had still clung onto the hope that it could be reversed, that I could go back.
I was so, so wrong. Alexandria was dead. Alyssa was dead. And Kyle was destroyed.
The scene went black once more, and abruptly I was weightless, falling through the dark. But I could no longer react. I could no longer feel anything but despair. There was a red light below me, and I was falling into it swiftly, but all I could see was the expression of my Kyle, my beautiful Kyle, breaking from the loss of his family. The red glow began to push away the black.
"It's time for you to become whole…Empathy. Welcome to my family."
I was consumed once more in red.
o-0-o
Edward screamed in denial as his hands met the floor, but it was much, much too late.
As his world was consumed with white, Alex's pleading eyes and reaching hand were the last things he saw. And then Edward was falling.
The world disintegrated around him as he watched with wide eyes, coming apart like the deconstruction phase of alchemy. His stomach flew into his throat as he was plunged into a too familiar white abyss, a place he had hoped to never see again in his life. The terrified boy grabbed desperately at the unraveling world around him but he was already way out of reach.
Adrenaline seized his mind as the last wisps of reality faded, leaving him in complete nothingness.
"No! NO! Alex! Alphonse! Give them back! Give them baaaaack!" He screamed into the white, but the white merely swallowed his voice, every syllable as heavy as lead and not even allowing him an echo.
Edward's descent abruptly ceased, and he was placed gently on the unseeable surface that served as the floor in this realm, not even a shadow to indicate it even existed. The boy scrabbled to his feet desperately and cried out as a familiar energy flowed around him, backing up because he knew what was going to happen next. He had been through this before.
The energy peaked and the Gate emerged from the abyss at his feet, rising up, and up, way above him. He never felt so small as he did here, in this place, and Edward stared as the object that had plagued him every night for the past three years came to a stop before him.
He began to tremble as memories of that night assaulted his consciousness, and he was frozen as the Gate cracked open with a resounding boom.
The uncertainty as the transmutation didn't go like it was meant to…
The doors began to swing open, revealing the terrible blackness within, and Edward took a step back…
The terror in his brother's golden eyes, so like his own, as he disappeared…
The doors were moving slowly, or maybe it was Edward's will that made it seem slow, wanting to live just a little longer…
Standing in front of the gate, just a boy of eleven, a menacing voice laughing at him…
He wanted to look around him to find an escape route, any escape, but there were none. And he could not take his eyes off his worst fear in front of him…
The great eyes that glared from the darkness, the hands that reached out, pulling him, screaming, into the blackness.
Edward's heart raced. He clutched at his body, knowing what was to come but fearing the pain. Not again…please…
The pain of too much knowledge crammed into his head, too much truth! And then the agony of his limbs being taken from him…
The doors, only halfway open, ground to a halt.
Edward gaped in shock as a familiar figure materialized in front of him, its broad shoulders and towering height exactly like his memories.
"Hello again, Edward Elric." Edward cringed from the voice that had haunted his dreams, that taunted him from the dark. The voice was a mixture of many to Edward's ears, voices of all ages and genders, though its form was clearly male. He had never told his brothers about this dream, but then again, he had never told them exactly what happened at the Gate the first time. Now history would repeat itself.
"Truth."
"Ah, Edward, as wonderful as it is to see you again, but the debt for this transmutation has already been paid."
Edward's heart stuttered in his chest. "What–What do you mean?"
A flash of Alex's face before Ed was pulled into the abyss flashed in his mind and Edward's eyes widened in horror. "No…!"
"Yes," Truth put a hand to his chin. "Alex so sportingly paid the price for you. Such a brave boy you've created. Though, he didn't really have much of a choice."
"You bastard!" Ed shouted, suddenly furious. "What have you done with him!?" He stepped forward aggressively, noticing for the first time that all of his pain was gone. But he had bigger things to think about at the moment. Like the bastard in front of him that hurt his little brother.
Truth waved his hand negligently. "Oh, calm down, boy, I didn't allow too much damage. I merely showed him the Truth."
The Gate began to close, and Truth began to fade. "No, wait," Ed screamed in fury. "Give him back! What did you do to him! Stop!"
But it was too late. The Gate faded back into the abyss and the last thing Ed saw of Truth was his damned white grin.
"Until next time, child. I have someone who's just dying to see you…"
The disembodied voice began to laugh while Edward's eyes widened in realization. "No, wait!" Edward began falling once more and he reached out, trying to stop his descent. "Truth!"
Before reality could consume the boy once more, Edward saw an image of an emaciated young man standing precisely where he had stood only a moment ago. The figure was completely bare, and his ribs stood out on a sunken chest. Long blond hair, dirty and matted, hung limply about his shoulders as he stared down with golden eyes at the falling boy.
Edward's breath stopped, and then his voice was torn from him. "Alphonse! Alphoooooonse!"
He blacked out.
And then his world was consumed with pain once more. He groaned in agony as his body throbbed and ached, letting him know that his trip was over and he was still alive. A voice was shouting his name desperately, and Edward forced himself to open his eyes.
"Brother! Brother, please!"
"Al…" he groaned, forcing himself to sit upright. He looked around. The room had gone completely grey, not a drop of red water left to light it. Edward gulped and his heart sank as he looked to the center of the transmutation circle. There, sitting innocuously in the middle of the room, was the philosopher's stone. It gleamed red, the only color in the suddenly dim and lifeless surroundings. He had done this…all those people…
That train of thought was blown from his mind a second later as the a dark figure fell to its knees behind the stone.
Edward's stomach plummeted through the floor. It was Alex.
The boy stared blankly ahead with agonized red eyes, reflecting the gleam of the stone sitting before him, but he did not seem to see Edward. Tears streamed down his face, and his mouth was hung open in complete shock, shoulders slumped and looking so defeated that it tore at Edward's soul. What had Truth shown him to put such an expression on his face? "Alex..?" Ed whispered, reaching out with one weak hand. His vision flickered, but he forced himself to stay awake. His brother…his brother!
Soft footsteps announced that they were still not alone, and three figures emerged from the gloom. Lust, Envy and Gluttony stood by Alex's sides, staring down coldly at the barely conscious alchemist. Their eyes also reflected the red gleam of the stone in the dull gray light.
"Thank you, Edward," Lust said. She bent down and picked up the stone with delicate fingers. She moved behind Alex and knelt at his back, wrapping one gloved arm around his middle and pulling him against her as the other two watched on.
"Stop it!" Alphonse screamed from somewhere in the dark, and Edward tried as hard as he could to crawl forward, but he couldn't move anymore…
Lust ignored them both and held the stone before a trembling Alex. The boy seemed to come to, but his tears only fell harder as he looked down at the stone before him. "Please…don't do this…let me die."
"Shhh," Lust shushed him, stroking her hand gently down his chest to soothe him. "It's okay, Empathy. It's finally time to join us. I promised you I would give you your heart, didn't I?"
"Please…" Alex sobbed. "Let me die!"
"Can't do that, little brother," Envy said from Lusts left. "We've put too much energy into you." Gluttony giggled, putting a finger to his wide mouth.
Before Alex could make another utterance, Lust brought the stone to his chest and pressed gently.
The reaction was instant. Alex threw his head back and groaned, a look of utter ecstasy taking over his features as he was finally made whole. He writhed against the homunculus behind him as red markings suddenly lit up his body, shining through his tattered clothes. The markings faded a second later, all except for one; a gleaming red tattoo of a dragon biting it's own tail on the right side of his neck. Then that too faded into darkness.
Alphonse's voice was a constant screaming at this point, but he went completely ignored as the three homunculi observed their brother being reborn. Alex sighed one last time before his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fell limp, a peaceful expression on his face.
The world went completely grey as all the red disappeared.
Edward's heart had slowed to a crawl as he desperately tried to stay awake. The were taking him…he had to stop this…His vision flickered in and out of darkness, and he was completely powerless as his body finally seemed to give out, hand falling limply to the floor.
Envy snapped his eyes away from the slumbering homunculus and looked over his shoulder. "Time to go," he said. "I hear soldiers. We've been found out."
Lust stood gracefully, clutching the sleeping boy to her bosom. "No matter. We have what we came for."
"What about the sacrifices," Envy asked, nudging the nearly unconscious alchemist with his toe. Edward didn't react.
"There will be others. Leave them."
o-0-o
Edward's body seemed to pulse slowly with the sluggish beating of his tired heart, no longer able to understand the words of the beings around him.
pulse.
His vision flickered and he saw the creatures lift his brother from the ground. They began to walk away, heedless of the soul crying out behind them.
pulse.
His vision returned. The room was empty, and all he could hear was sobbing. The pain was fading now, and someone was calling his name, but he couldn't answer, though he dearly wanted to…
pulse.
Light blinded him, and shouts echoed through the room as if at the end of a long tunnel. Blue became the predominate color in his vision, but Edward still didn't react.
pulse
A tug pulled him onto his back, and a face swam into his vision. Black hair and eyes, thin lips shouting at him to Stay awake, stay with me! Goddamnit, Ed!
pulse
A horrible pressure suddenly pressed against his side and the boy screamed. "Stop it! Stop, it hurts…!"
"I'm sorry Ed, but you're bleeding, just stay with me!"
"Brother! Brother! Don't leave me here alone, please, please hold on!"
He was being lifted from the floor, the agony spiking sharply. Edward saw no more.
End Book One
Epilogue: Aftermath and resolution. Mustang never knew he could feel anything close to what he felt after Ishval, but as he gazed down at Edward's hospital bed, the boy pale and so close to death, his brother a vacant shell leaning against the wall beside him, red eyes dull, he discovered he was wrong.
Debrief and author's notes after the Epilogue. Will be posted tomorrow. See you next time.