She couldn't believe that he had come.
That he had made that journey and that here he was stood only feet in front of her… just because she had asked him too.
As he walked towards the table she was sitting on, Carla took a deep breath and gave him the best version of a smile that she could give.
"Hi." She said, as he sat down in front of her. He was wearing a leather jacket.
He was still bearded just like the last time that she had seen him and he was still utterly captivating Carla without even meaning to.
"Hi." He replied, he gazed around the café and then looked at her again, she bit her bottom lip and then cleared her throat even though she didn't have to.
"Erm… D'ya wanna get a drink or?" she began, not knowing now where to start with things.
"Sure." He said, Carla was about to get up and get it for him but Peter stood up first. "I'll go." He said, before licking his lips and walking over to the till. He must have only been gone for a minute but it felt like much, much longer.
Waiting for Peter to come back felt like torture for Carla and by the time he returned to the table she was completely on edge.
He sat down in front of her again and rested both arms on the table that was criminally placed in between the two of them.
He smiled warmly at Carla and tried not to show how nervous he was about being in her presence.
"It's good to see ya Peter." She said, genuinely nodding at him because amongst everything, seeing him sat in front of her made her feel just a little like herself again.
Like one of those pieces that had been missing since finding out about Johnny had returned to her.
"Yeah you too." He said, as the greasy haired man from behind the till, brought over two murky white mugs of coffee.
There was one for Peter and one for Carla.
She hadn't asked him to get her another drink but he had noticed the half drunk cup that was in front of her and had guessed it was probably cold.
He guessed that she had been sat there for ages by now and he was right.
He nodded at the man who'd brought over the probably stale coffees and then looked back at a anxious but also grateful Carla, who then said,
"Thanks for this."
Peter nodded at her too and even though his mind was going about one thousand miles a minute, wondering why Carla had asked him here today, he remained patient.
They both sat in the rather grimy café in complete silence.
Neither one spoke for a while as they tried really hard to pretend as if things weren't categorically awkward between them.
They tried to act as if this moment hadn't been a long time coming.
As if the other hadn't been sat in their homes at some point, wondering when the time would come for them to see each other again.
"You look well." Carla eventually said, she wasn't quite sure why she said that exact sentence but what she was sure of, was that it was true.
Peter looked really well, healthy and truly like he hadn't touched a drop of alcohol in the longest time, which he hadn't.
"I wish I could say the same to you." He said delicately, looking at the dark circles, which were underneath Carla's eyes. She nodded at him because she had already known how rough she must have looked, although it didn't stop her feeling a little self-conscious and saying a half hearted,
"Gee thanks." Peter suddenly looked apologetic and then began talking again, so that she didn't feel too bad for too long.
"I'm sorry… it's just… you look really exhausted… still out of this world and achingly beautiful but... exhausted all the same." As he spoke he wrapped his hands around the hot cup of coffee just to keep warm because the café they were in was freezing and it was so run down that it didn't look like they had any sort of heating in place either.
Carla on the other hand, suddenly felt all hot. She looked down when Peter had called her beautiful and she just couldn't believe that he still had this overwhelming and "school girl butterfly" causing effect on her.
Peter lifted his cup up to his lips and took a sip of coffee as Carla tried to shake off the compliment that he had just bestowed upon her.
She tried to remember that a long time ago she had promised herself that she would never… ever go back there.
She had promised herself that she would never let Peter Barlow back in and yet here she was, sat only centimetres away from him and about to tell him the biggest thing that had happened in her life recently.
"I'm… not really sleeping much at the moment." Carla finally said. Soon deciding that she was done with what she had told her self in the past as Peter put his cup down on the table.
"I'm sorry to hear that." He said, watching Carla as she sat stiffly before him.
He could see that she was truly struggling, he could see that she had something that she wanted to say but that she was nervous… scared in fact and this bothered him.
This made his mind go to all sorts of places and as he tried to stay calm he picked up the coffee cup again, just to keep busy even though it tasted terrible.
"This... is rank." Peter said wincing and making Carla laugh a little.
It was a cute laugh, one that didn't last very long and one that made Peter think,
"Well at least I got to see her laugh again... even if it was just for a few seconds."
"Me n Rob used to hang out ere as kids... I don't know why I picked it really..." Carla said, before becoming quiet once more.
Quiet as Peter took another sip of his awful drink and quiet as he gazed around the dismal surroundings she had subjected him to.
She wondered why she just couldn't come out with it, why she couldn't just say it without thinking twice, just like her so called father had done to her that Monday night.
"Thanks for coming ere Peter… I really appreciate it." Carla said, hoping that this time she'd come out with it.
Hoping that she wouldn't stall again because she wasn't sure if she could take much more of sitting opposite this man in silence.
A silence between two people like Carla and Peter could be very dangerous, especially when they used to be able to tell each other everything... even when they were saying nothing.
"You're welcome." Peter nodded again but keeping quiet all the same and not saying another word because he wanted whatever this was to be on Carla's terms and not his.
As they talked about their Christmases and made small talk he still couldn't help but think,
"Why on earth has she called me here? What's going on?"
But again, he kept his mouth shut and let her take her time with it, knowing that sooner or later it would come out.
It didn't take Carla long to realise that Peter was just humouring her, that he was desperate to find out why his presence was necessary and why on earth she just couldn't sit still.
Every so often she would run a hand frustratedly through her hair or shake her head a little, she really was on the brink of losing it if she didn't say something about Johnny soon.
"How come you aven't asked me why you're ere?" She asked, staring at Peter reverently.
"Because I reckon after everything I've done… that I should be thanking my lucky stars that you're even giving me the time of day…" Peter began watching her affectionately, "Besides… I'm sure you're getting to it." Peter said, smiling at Carla softly and resting his hands back onto the table.
He wanted to give her the time she needed to speak, he didn't want to rush her into saying or doing anything… not until she was ready.
Carla smiled back at him sadly, she had to resist from reaching out and taking hold of his hands and so she put hers together instead on her lap and said,
"I am… I really am." but much to Carla's fear, another torturous few minutes of silence went by before she could gather up the words to say, "Do… you ever remember me talking about… Johnny Connor?"
"Yeah… vaguely…" Peter said, guessing that this was the beginning of what ever seemed to be keeping Carla awake at night. "He's Michelle's… Uncle or something… right?"
"Her cousin… second cousin but still family." Carla said, struggling to speak about this without trembling because the thought of Paul and Liam both sharing even the tiniest amount of her DNA almost made her want to throw up.
Johnny had not only stood by and let her have the childhood of nightmares but he had now tainted her relationships with Paul and Liam…
This was something else that Carla felt like she was never ever going to get over.
"Okay…" Peter nodded, he couldn't even begin to know what she was about to say so he just waited patiently for Carla to continue once more.
"He didn't live too far from ere y'know… I mean he was far enough to not be a part of that dreadful place that I had to call home but close enough that I saw him… a lot... I saw him… too much actually now I think about it." She paused and took a deep breath when she remembered the countless Connor birthday parties she had attended.
The ones where Johnny would approach her and casually ask her how she was doing, she had always just taken his interest in her as him being nice but now she knew why and she couldn't stand it.
She absent-mindedly put one hand on the table in front of her and it wasn't even a second before she felt Peter's touch.
He swallowed as she looked down, wondering if he had maybe crossed the line.
He had ever so gently taken hold of her hand and he clung onto it.
He didn't let go as she looked back up at him even though he looked a little worried that he was over stepping the mark.
He then nodded at Carla... wanting... needing her to continue.
The grip he hand on her hand gave her the strength that she needed to say,
"It turns out... that Johnny Connor... is my Dad…"
"What?" Peter said, his word coming out instantly and rather furiously.
It wasn't like the confused whats that she had received from her loved ones, it was more of an outraged one.
"He cheated on his wife with my Mum... nine months later I were born." Carla said with a sad sniff, remembering how much of an accident Johnny had made her feel like.
He'd never said it but his words and his way had made her feel totally worthless.
"How did you find all this out?" Peter asked, watching Carla and not taking his brown eyes off her for a second because it was clear to him that this information had totally rocked her entire world, he still had hold of her hand because he wanted to let her know that he was still there for her… even if they weren't an item anymore.
"He told me…" Carla said, "He just came out with it one night after Christmas but not because he wanted to be a proper Dad or out... he only told me because my baby brother Rob was blackmailing him for ten grand." Peter leant back a little as he took in this new information. He looked down at his hands, which still he had rested on the table and still had one entwined with one of Carla's.
"And you're sure he's your Dad?" he asked looking back up at her. "This isn't some messed up idea of Rob's…" He wanted to make sure he knew all of the information before he reacted properly. Carla let out a frustrated laugh before nodding and saying,
"That's what I thought at first but yes… he somehow got hold of me DNA and had a test done… he's definitely me Dad."
Peter swallowed as Carla looked, almost ashamedly down at her lap.
He thought that she looked totally lost, as if she didn't know who she was anymore and he was right.
That was exactly how she felt.
He still wasn't sure exactly why she was telling him this new news of hers.
Why she had sought him out and told him when she clearly had a new man in her life, one that he had heard she was engaged to and one that he detested with every bone in his body.
"Okay…" Peter nodded, "Tell me to shut up if you need to… but this Johnny… did he know? Did he know about this before hand? Like when you were a kid n stuff?"
He could feel his anger levels rising as he spoke but he kept calm… for now at least… again wanting to find out as much information as he could before doing anything else.
"You mean did he ave his suspicions?" Carla asked. Peter nodded at her, his left hand clenched into a fist and his right still holding onto Carla's. "Yes… he said he always thought it was a possibility."
"Carla…" Peter said, taking a deep breath and swallowing hard just so he could stay calm because he was seriously stating to find it difficult to stay put in his seat.
"What?"
"Did you tell Nick about this?"
Peter, saying Nick's name… properly and out loud came as a shock to them both.
Peter hated the idea of Carla and Nick from the moment he had heard about it from Simon.
And Carla?
Well she hated the idea of talking to Peter about Nick at all, which she couldn't understand because whenever she thought about this moment before... when she'd imagined the moment that she would get to see Peter again and talk about how she had found love with Nick, she thought she'd feel smug.
She thought she'd feel content and proud to show him that she had learned to love again.
She thought that she'd show him that he hadn't completely ruined her life and that she had moved on but no.
Now… well now it was weird, awkward and if she was honest with herself, downright painful.
So painful that all she could do was nod at him and not talk about Nick too much because she also felt terrible for not telling him where she was right now.
This was another secret that she was keeping from him.
"And what did he do?" Peter asked, really hoping that Nick had been the man that Carla had needed him to be and that he had looked after her… but seeing as she was now sat in front of him, after months and months of them having absolutely no contact other than that agonising look the day after Deirdre's funeral, he'd guessed that Nick's reaction hadn't been up to much.
"Nothing really…" Carla said awkwardly.
"Nothing?" Peter repeated, not understanding how someone had managed to hurt Carla and Nick hadn't reacted in some sort of furious way.
"Well not nothing…" Carla began, biting down on her bottom lip and feeling bad for almost bad mouthing Nick. "He's been there for me as best he can… I know that he's really trying… I'm just starting to think that maybe he can't handle me in all my dramatic glory… I told Chelle… n Roy but they've all just been talking at me… not to me y'know… I just needed someone else to talk to about this…" She gasped, taking in a quick breath and trying to not lose all control.
"Hey..." Peter breathed, "It's okay…" he said as Carla looked like she might burst into tears at any minute. He waited for her to calm down and when she had done so he said, "Again... tell me to shut up but are you sitting ere… and telling me that this Johnny guy… knew... that he knew he could ave be your Dad the entire time and he did nothing…"
"Yes…" Carla nodded, finally seeing and feeling a little bit of that anger that she had wanted, come from someone else. Peter's grip on her hand tightened and as his eyebrows were now furrowed together in fury.
"So he let you… grow up… in that house… with that Mother of yours and he did nothing?" Peter asked, causing Carla to nod again.
Peter was one of the very few people who knew all about Carla's childhood.
She had poured it all out to him over the course of their relationship and the idea that someone maybe could have saved her from it but didn't… well it completely enraged Peter.
"And he let you… marry your own cousin?" He looked totally disgusted now… disgusted and furious... with Johnny.
"Yes…" Carla said, a tear running down her pale cheek as she went over everything that Peter had just said.
She was glad he was feeling like she did.
She was glad he had all the same questions that she did and she didn't feel so alone anymore.
"Where is he?" Peter asked, abruptly letting go of Carla's hand as he spoke and making her jump slightly.
"Who?" Carla swallowed, "Johnny?"
"Yes Johnny… the man who has totally screwed up your life… where the hell is he?" Peter asked, his right fist still clenched.
He knew that this was all a little hypocritical.
He knew that he had caused Carla a hell of a lot of pain and that he really had no right to be so angry but he didn't give a damn.
He felt the anger pump through his veins as he thought about this Johnny character and he knew that had to do something about it.
"Who said he's screwed up my life?" Carla asked, although Peter was bang on and Johnny's news had totally ruined everything.
He had ruined her relationship with Paul, Liam and now Nick.
"Answer the question Carla." Peter said, knowing that she knew full well how clear it was that she was a broken woman… he had seen this look on her before.
He had caused her enough pain to know exactly when she was hurting, after all.
"Does he still live round ere?" Peter asked, staring at Carla intensely and not letting up... not until she said,
"No… he lives in Weatherfield, he's staying at Michelle's old place."
"That's all I need to know." Peter nodded and with that, he got right up. Sending the cheap plastic chair that he was sat on flying behind him.
He couldn't understand why Nick hadn't had it out with Johnny, why he hadn't stuck up for his wife to be and the only conclusion that he had come to... was that this is why Carla had called him.
"Peter!" she cried, getting up too and running after him. "Where the hell are you going?"
"I'm gonna kill him!" Peter cried, walking right out of the café in a fit of pure rage.