Song playlist: Drumming Song by Florence and the Machine
Chapter 14
Grief
/gri:f/
1. deep or intense sorrow or distress, especially at the death of someone
2. irritation, frustration or difficulty
The sun was rising.
It lit up the winter sky like a candle in a glass lantern, warming the soft snow banks from crisp white into soft oranges and yellows. Feathery snowflakes twirled down slowly from the cotton puff clouds and onto the roof of the military truck.
From the back of the truck, Yuu sat hunched over on one of the benches. His red-rimmed eyes were gazing down at his blood soaked hands, at the blood caked underneath his fingernails and staining his skin crimson.
This was the same blood that had gushed out of Mika's chest and shoulder. These were the same hands that had pressed desperately against the open wounds barely an hour ago, or even less. It was hard to tell in the confusion and daze.
This was Mika's blood on his hands, and Mika was now dead.
"Oi, brat."
A blanket fluttered over Yuu, coarse gray and woollen. Its weight itself slid down, uncovering Yuu's head. He couldn't help looking at the man who had rescued him sitting opposite him. His eyes had been shut the entire journey so far. With his crossed arms and knees, he looked disinterestedly outside even while he spoke.
"Don't cause me a headache and freeze to death," came the flat drawl.
Yuu let the blanket sit on his shoulders, still with his head bent and watching how the material had smeared the blood further across his flesh in downward streaks.
There was a deep sigh before the man continued, "Look, you're free now. Why don't you look outside at the sparkling sun, enjoy seeing the sky for the first time, all that shit?"
Yuu didn't respond, but he followed the man's gaze to open back of the truck. Despite the cracked roads and crumbling buildings, the outside world was even wider than Yuu could have imagined. The sky seemed to stretch out to infinity and a single bird circled around the captivating sun before flying away.
The sky was dazzlingly bright and even with the bitingly cold wind, Yuu could feel its warm rays. He was reminded of an even more dazzling smile and long nights daydreaming of freedom together in the glowing candlelight.
A single tear trickled down Yuu's damp cheek and splashed onto his red, red hands.
Red was the only colour in the clinically white room.
The red was the blood being sucked out of Yuu's veins and into the injection tube. It stood out vividly against his deathly pale flesh and the blank whiteness of the walls and tiles.
Yuu sat with his arm offered up like a zombie, the other limp at his side. He hadn't flinched as the needle had sunk into his upper arm with the short command of, "Lift your arm. Hold it still."
He didn't flinch either a few minutes later as a succession of needles were jabbed into his other arm, like a quick attack of fanged snake bites. Everything had cooled down from red hot into an icy blue numbness.
The white coated man turned his back on Yuu to wipe the needles on the metal trolley sterile clean. "Your medical check up is complete. Return to your quarters."
And as silent as a tomb, Yuu got up from the frigid plastic chair and walked out of the door.
The man sat down at his desk and for the next few moments, the room was devoid of sound save for the rapid scribbling of pen against paper. The ink blue pen stilled as a shadow loomed over the stacks of reports.
Turning around, the man tightened his tie and saluted. "Lieutenant Ichinose, sir."
"At ease," Guren said evenly, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Brat gone off then?"
"He just left, sir."
"Good grief, I told him to wait. He's gonna be a right troublemaker," Guren grumbled with a pinched expression. "Well? How'd the testing go? Did you get a blood sample?"
"Yes sir, we'll have it sent to the lab to be examined straight away. The subject's health was in surprisingly good condition considering his living circumstances. We can only presume the vampires were taking precautions to feed him well, but he was given several vaccinations against common diseases to be safe."
"Good," Guren murmured. "We don't need diseases spreading in these walls, or having him dying on us."
"Yes, sir."
"Well, make sure you send me the reports once you're done, got it? I'm trusting this job to your team."
"Yes, sir! It's truly an honour, sir."
"Damn right it is," Guren's lips quirked up slightly. "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a annoying kid to go babysit."
As the man saluted once again, Guren turned his back on the straight-backed gesture and left. His sword clanked against his leg with every slouched stride. Left, right, left, left, right. Each corner seemed to twist sharply in a metal maze of rigid corridors. Guren didn't falter as he strolled his way through like oil flowing on water.
It didn't take long for him to reach the iron door hidden in a discreet corner and push the door handle down.
"Tch," Guren muttered. "Oi, brat! Turn the damn lights on!"
There was no reply. Guren tched again and unabashedly let himself in the lockless door. His hand wandered wildly along the grainy wall, unseeing in the pitch-blackness, until it found the light switch and flicked it.
The yellow light from the ceiling illuminated the room, decent sized in all fairness. A wooden kitchen table, two wooden chairs, wooden floorboards. A modest cushy sofa sat at the end of the room, near another door shut firmly closed.
Undeterred, Guren strode right over and slammed the door open. Through the opening, a rectangle of light from the living room broke into the darkness. A vague outline of a human sized lump on the bed could barely be made out.
"Hey, I know you're under there," Guren addressed the lump. There was still no reply. "Ignoring me, huh? Is this how you treat your saviour?"
There was a shuffling stirring, and then a mumble, "'m not ignoring you."
"Then how long are you going to stay like this?"
"…"
"It's nearly been a week already. Get up, you lazy ass."
"…Fuck off."
"Really? Is this how you're gonna spend the rest of your life, sulking here in the dark? …Fine, act some like snot nosed kid. See if I care. It's not my job to babysit you."
In the now highly-strung tension, Guren paused on his way out to cast his gaze on the unspeaking and unmoving figure. "By the way, your cupboards and fridge have been stocked up. Go eat something before you starve yourself to an early grave."
There was the sound of footsteps echoing quieter and the distant bang of the front door closing before Yuu allowed himself to crack his eyes open. With the curtains pulled shut and the light switched off, Yuu stared blankly for a while in the darkness.
Everything felt painfully hot and numb at the same time. It hurt…his heart wouldn't stop hurting…
He clutched at his chest and let himself be dragged away from the wakeful world.
"Yuu…"
"Where are you?"
"Save us, big brother…"
His mind was scurrying with whispers. Gripping at his head, Yuu groaned and staggered blindly. His bare foot stepped in something wet, squelchy, thick. He looked down and screamed.
He was standing in a sea of ruby red blood. Yuu took a few steps back but his legs felt like stone in the thick current that gurgled and flooded as far as he could see. He could smell its cloying stench, could feel its liquid between his toes and thighs.
Then the sea began to rise.
Yuu's heart leapt into his throat as the blood level climbed higher, from his legs to his hips to his torso. He began to run, or at least tried to run with the liquid clawing at his flesh and growing thicker and thicker. There was a wave that crashed into his eyes and when he opened them again, there was a row of crucifixes looming in the distance out of his reach.
And tied to each thorny cross was each of the children from the orphanage.
Yuu's struggles took on a frenzied fever as he fought to get to reach his family members, to set them free and help them. Their pleading calls were loud and clear, screaming at him for help. The waves of the sea were twining into spiked vines, wrapping around his arms and legs until he couldn't even breathe.
"Why aren't you saving us?"
"You're weak…too weak to help us…"
"Weak."
"Weak."
"Weak."
And the chanting grew louder until it was a clanging clamour like church bells ringing, like anvils striking on iron and striking him down.
Yuu gasped and woke up with a ringing in his ears and a scream still on his lips. His shirt was drenched with sweat like he had been plunged into the sea and drops rolled along his skin. He sat there with his pounding heart with his dream still battering at his head.
Weak. He was weak. What was he still doing here? He needed to…what did he need to do? What was he doing here, living with the humans with these unknown army people?
Is this how you're gonna spend the rest of your life, sulking here in the dark? Guren's words echoed back to him and Yuu felt himself stiffen. No, no he wasn't.
He was going to avenge his family.
"Lieutenant Ichinose!"
A soldier knocked at the solid ornate door and waited. After a few seconds they knocked again. Still no response. She fidgeted from foot to foot before pushing the door open herself. "Excuse me sir, pardon me for coming in uninvited but there's an emergency and-"
The soldier stopped at the sight of their esteemed Lieutenant leaning back in his chair, feet propped on his desk between mountains of papers and snoring loudly.
"Um- Lieutenant- Lieutenant Ichinose?" she tried to raise their voice. "Lieutenant Guren Ichinose, sir?"
Guren snorted, barely catching himself from falling off the leather chair. "What- I swear I've done the paperwork Shinya, go away- oh, the hell do you want?"
"Sorry! So sorry for waking you sir! But I've got a message from one of the scientists and they said it's top red priority and I'm so sorry-"
"Stop apologising newbie," Guren sighed, waving his hand. "Well, go on. Let's hear it."
"Yes, sir! The message is as follows- 'At 03 00 pm one of the staff were sent to deliver clean clothes to your charge and found him missing. Assistance required.' End of message, sir."
Guren's eyes narrowed and he stood up. "You can go back or whatever. I'll take care of this myself."
Less than fifteen minutes later, Guren was stepping outside into the world outside the walls. He nodded at the guards at the entrance who wisely pretended to look down at their clipboards. The business of the higher ups in the army were business of their own, as the mantra went.
Guren's breath came out in steady puffs of white as he stalked his way through collapsed buildings and stray rubble. His gait was powerfully even as he scanned the landscape in apparent boredom.
He soon found what he was looking for. A loud crash filled the air as a wild horseman struck its distorted limb at a wall, sending it crashing down in ruins. Below its huge bulk Yuu was scampering away with bruised knees and hands.
For the next few minutes, Guren leaned against a crooked lamppost and watched the one sided assault with hooded eyes. Eventually a flying shower of bricks made Yuu run towards him, making their eyes lock together.
"You-!" Yuu began, then stopped as he rolled away from another jabbing leg. "What are you doing here?"
"Getting myself a tan, enjoying the show, take your pick."
"The hell- don't just stand there!"
"Oh?" Guren said neutrally. "I thought you didn't want any help. I thought you just wanted to drag your feet around and let me wipe your ass whenever you need it."
"Shut up! You bastard!"
"What's this? Are you getting angry?"
Yuu clenched his teeth, heaving and panting, but then stopped in his tracks as Guren unsheathed his sword
"Because I'm getting angry too, you know," Guren carried on, turning his blade in his palms so it caught the rays of the winter sunlight. "This isn't some nursery for orphan brats. If you're not going to be useful to me…"
Then Guren pointed his sword straight at Yuu with a harsh coldness in his eyes that put the icy snow to shame.
"…I might as well kill you here and now."
"Wait a minute, hold up-"
Yuu yelped and ducked as Guren took a lazy swing above his head. A few locks of fine hair fluttered onto his nose and he paled.
"Ah, that was a good warm up swing. Are you ready to die?"
"You're crazy!" Yuu shouted and then swore as Guren began to stalk towards him like a giant tiger. He turned and ran as fast as he could, only to skid of the way of the horseman as it took another lunge at him. Shit, he'd forgotten about the monster. Out of the corner of his eye, Yuu spotted something lying next to the horseman's armoured leg.
He clenched his fists and before he could change his mind, dashed right towards the monster. With a battle cry, Yuu snatched the brick off the concrete ground and chucked it with all his might at the creature towering over him.
It bounced off like a soft rubber duck.
Yuu wanted to scream.
The monster was the one who let out a curdling screech and Yuu took the chance to run away with his blood running hot in his veins. He darted towards a nearby building, hoping to find a blind spot somewhere behind its walls.
"And just where do you think you're going?," a dark voice growled and Yuu felt a boot kick him unceremoniously from behind. He flailed, fell onto his bottom and stared up Guren above him.
Yuu gulped.
"Well? Are you ready to die?" Guren said again and all at once his condescending tone made Yuu want to punch that stupid look off his stupid face.
"No, I don't want to die! You stupid, annoying, homicidal child killer-"
"So you want to live?" Guren cut in.
"Yes!" Yuu yelled in heated anger. "Who even asks that?"
"Even though living hurts?"
Yuu fell quiet and Guren nudged his sword tip onto Yuu's chest, right over his pounding heart. "It hurts, doesn't it?"
The wind breathed between them, ruffling their hair and carrying a fresh cluster of snowflakes in its breeze.
"…Yeah," Yuu whispered, and then sniffled. "It hurts really bad."
"Good," came Guren's simple reply. Yuu looked up in surprise. "If it hurts, you have a reason to live. Use your pain to become stronger until one day, you can protect those important to you."
Yuu blushed and rubbed his eyes, but then opened his mouth as he caught sight of-
"Watch out, behind you!"
But Guren was already facing the horseman with the simple command, "Possess me, Mahiru."
Yuu's jaw dropped as a wave of demonic looking flames erupted from Guren's sword. A shadowy outline of a woman floated behind Guren's shoulders and with a single sweep of his sword, the horseman was instantly obliterated into dust.
With the sun casting a fiery white halo around Guren's black hair, Yuu felt himself captivated by the man before him.
"Teach me," he blurted.
"What?" Guren asked, half turning towards Yuu as the flames died out around him.
"Teach me how to fight," Yuu pressed with a fire in his eyes. "Make me as strong as you so I can take revenge and kill all the vampires!"