To be honest I don't like it that much. I just hope you do (: Enjoy.
It was nice. With a smile, disguised as a grin, I looked at Beck. He was standing by his locker talking to André and once in a while he would look my way and smile a real smile. My heart warmed up more with every shine of his teeth. That's how Ryder found me, precisely at the moment that I was sneaking a peek at Beck.
"Please don't tell me you're thinking of taking him back, West."
"What?" A bit distracted I looked up at him. "Did you say something?"
"Oh God." Without warning he grabbed my arm and started pulling me towards the Janitors Closet while yelling. "Jade West loves glitters!"
"I do NOT love glitters! Kidnapper! Kidnapper!"
Of course no one listened. Even the teachers and Beck just shook their heads and my so called friends pushed me in the closet when I almost escaped Ryder's grasp.
With my best glare I looked them up and down. "How long do you three think that you can hold me in here?"
"Long enough." Ryder stepped forward while Jake blocked the door. "You can't do this again Jade."
"Be clear you idiot. I do not know what 'that' is."
"Date him again." Laura stepped away from the wall she was leaning onto. "He wrecked you the first time."
"I know." A little bit guilty I looked down at my shoes. "But… It's hard… You don't understand." I locked eyes with the only person in this room who would feel a little bit sad for me. "Jake, you know I love him and he says he loves me…"
"And he broke you." His stare didn't even waver a bit, not one ounce of pity in it. "Do you want that to happen again?" He took one big step toward me and carefully stroke my cheek. "Someone else is already trying to break you. He doesn't need help."
"You are all idiots." I jerked my head away from his head. "Jer kicked a soccer ball to high and it hit my face. That's why I have this bruise. And couldn't you at least try to like Beck. You never took the chance to get to know him. Give him two weeks. Till the Midnight Showcase."
"Why would we?" His grey eyes looked determined into mine but if I looked further then that I could see the concern in them. "He never tried to be friends with us and if that isn't enough he doesn't treat you right. You deserve so much more."
"Well maybe I deserve more in your eyes, but do you see someone who is willing to be more for me? Beck loves me. Except for Jer he is the only one that truly loves me."
"Honey…" His thumb gently stoke my cheek. "We all would be willing to be more for you. Except for Laura maybe."
"Hmhm. I love you and all Jade but I don't swing that way, but if I would…" Her eyes roamed over me and she smiled. "You are one hot package."
It was nice what they were trying to do. Really. Only it didn't work. What Laura was saying could be true. Jake's words on the other hand were an outright lie. "Sure Jake. Let's say I believe you, why didn't you try anything hm? Or Ryder?" I walked around them shooting the guys my customized glare. "I've known you since I was ten or something and you've never tried anything."
"God Jade…" He ran a hand through his hair. "It's…I…"
"You what Ryder?" I didn't get a warning when he grabbed me by the waist and pulled me against his warm, strong body. "Ry-" He shut my sentence up with his lips.
It was like the thunder struck me. His kiss was so different from Becks. It was unfamiliar but nice and when he gently nibbled my lower lip I leaned into the kiss and wrapped my arms around his neck. Ryder was kissing me and I was kissing him back. What's happening?
With a small smile Ryder leaned a little bit back. "We were too young then and when I thought it was okay to let you know, you started dating Beck."
"Why now?"
"You're finally single." He pushed a bit of hair out of my face. "And you deserve the best. If I thought that was Beck I would have encouraged you to get back with him, but he isn't, and maybe I'm not that either. I really like you this way. It's not love yet but with some time and patience it could get there. If you want it."
"Ryder…"
"I know you love Beck. Like you said it's not something you can just click off. I just think that you need to know he's not your only chose. You've got me. You'll always have me."
"I…Just.." Slowly I retreated out his arms. My eyes wavered away from his. At this moment I just can't look at him. Or at Laure and Jake for that matter. "Class is starting up. Gotta go."
They didn't try to stop me when I bolted from the Janitors Closet. This was awful. Really, really awful. Hopefully not that spazzed out I bolted for another Janitors Closet in the school. This was not a time to go to class, but to think. I needed to think. On the automatic pilot I grabbed my scissors and the first thing I could cut up, a mob. Thinking only worked for me if I could cut something. The sound of the scissors was reassuring. Ryder liked me. He couldn't like me, but he did. And for so many years already. I needed to do something about it. Only I couldn't think of anything. Should I start dating him, his kiss was pretty good and he was nice, or should I turn him down, I still loved Beck with my whole heart and sometimes I thought we still had a fighting chance. There were so many to date him or not to date him. And now my thoughts were like Hamlet. I was turning into a cliché and if Jade West wasn't something it was a cliché. I was supposed to be unpredictable.
Concentrate on the scissors. Don't think about it right now. I've got the time. Because I was so deep in thoughts I didn't hear the door opening and someone clicking the lock.
"Jade?" Like a deer caught in head lights I looked up and saw Beck standing there with a concerned expression on his face. "Why are you cutting something up, baby?"
"I…He…You…"
"Jade." He kneeled in front of me and cupped my cheek. "Breathe."
My thoughts were swirling around in my head and I couldn't stop them. It felt impossible even with Becks calming presence.
"Baby." He pressed a chaste kiss on my lips. "Calm down. I'm here."
With a gasp I really looked at him. "Beck." I didn't think when I slung my arms around his neck and just held him.
Surprised he put his hand on my lower back and pulled me on his lap. "It's okay. Everything's gonna be okay."
How did he know that? How could he know that? Nothing felt okay anymore. My whole world seemed to be put upside down with Ryder liking me. He's my friend and now he suddenly wanted more. And I didn't know if I could give it to him.
"What happened with Jake, Ryder and Laura that upset you so much? I've never seen you like this."
I really didn't want to tell him and at this moment I wished that I had more friends, because at this moment he was the only one I could tell about what happened.
"They think you're not good enough for me and when I pointed out you're the only one that loves me except for Jer they counter attacked with saying they would want to be with me, Laura only if she liked girls but you get the point. I asked why they never tried anything and Ryder…" Without noticing the movement I touched my lips. "He kissed me. Out of nowhere he kissed me. Apparently he always liked me, but first I was too young then I dated you. He thinks I deserve better and that he is that."
Beck didn't interrupt me once and when I finished and looked up at him he was deep in thought.
"Beck?" I whispered his name and he finally looked at me.
"You deserve better and he can be that but in my opinion I can be even better then him. You love me already and I love you. We know our problems already and I think we can solve them. I made the final mistake with the kiss and the reason, I know that, but we both made smaller mistakes. We can fix that and come stronger out of this, together."
His eyes were glowing with determination. He has never been more handsome to me then at this precise moment. "I could make a list with things that really irritated me about you and you can do the same for me. Then we can look at it together and figure out how to fix it."
"That's my Jade. Always thinking in solutions and not backing away for anything. Make your list and I'll make mine. We can do this."
I let my love for him shine though in a rare smile. This is the Beck I fell in love with. The one who would ask my out on a date till I set yes, who would surprise me with dinner at the top of his RV, who was mine as much as I was his.
"I love you."
"And I love you." He leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss on my lips. This kiss felt like it was supposed to. I couldn't think about anything else then him. Kissing him was like coming home.