A/N Okay so I got a couple reviews regarding Abby's behavior and how some of the fighting was over dramatic and pointless. I also got a few saying they both took it too far but in my heart I know if I got blasted with something regarding family and also my girlfriend walked out on me with an ex after a fight I would probably start a riot as well even if it's not necessary. Emotions do that to us. Love does that to us. I hope to answer some questions soon though. Anyways super long chapter and I could have kept it going but I cut it off. This is not going to just be a happy go lucky they move past it all but it's a start. A lot of talking needs to still happen between the both of them and others but for now this is what you get. I hope you like it. It's a little hard on the heart fair warning. xoxoxo
This chapter is M rated.
Clarke woke up she felt like she got hit by a bus. Her head hurt her beyond belief and she was sure it was from crying. Rubbing her face she stared at her bedroom door. It was closed and she kept it that way all night no matter how many times she woke up wanting to open it to see if Lexa was still in her living room. She left the brunette out there last night and it was the first time in a long time she slept in her bed without her and it felt wrong. She knew in her heart last night nothing would get settled no matter how bad both of them wanted to talk. They both were too overwhelmed with everything and running off nothing but shock, hurt and confusion. Looking at the door again she debated on if she should open it up. She hadn't heard anything all night from her living room or kitchen. Climbing out of bed she walked into her bathroom instead.
"Ughhh." Clarke looked at her face in the mirror not only did she feel like she got hit by a bus she looked it too. Crying yourself to sleep twice did not do wonders for your complexion. Throwing her hair up she splashed water on her face. She kind of hoped that the noise would wake up Lexa if she was actually in her living room. Heading back out of the bathroom she crept to her door and cracked it open. Looking at her couch she didn't see anyone. Her heart sunk a little thinking that the brunette left she opened her door up all the way when she spotted Lexa asleep against her door. She hadn't moved from where she sat last night. Looking at her she had to be uncomfortable she had managed to grab one of the hoodies out of the bag that Clarke had desperately took back from her place and used it as a pillow. She didn't come in any further then where Clarke had let her in almost like she wasn't allowed. It hurt looking at the brunette on the ground. She still couldn't believe she had come to her apartment and the fact that she even opened the door and let her in. After everything last night and all the faults on both of sides of things she came back and she let her in. Shaking her head she sneaked into the kitchen and started the coffee pot. If she was going to make it through the day she could already tell it was needed. She curled up on the stool in her kitchen staring at the girl. Even after a night of crying she was still beautiful. Everything about her made Clarke ache. She had a feeling she might have overstepped just a little bringing her stuff home. Even after seeing Lexa leave with Echo which still hurt. It hurt all together watching the girl walk out the door without her but she wasn't even sure what Lexa was thinking because they hadn't talked. She seen the brunette stir. She couldn't tell if she was dreaming or if she had started crying again. Moving a little Clarke spotted the envelope under Lexa's head. It made her wonder if the girl had opened it. She wanted to know what was in it so bad last night but now she wasn't sure if it was worth it. There was no way it was a good thing. Clarke jumped hearing her coffee machine beep saying it was done. Turning around she unknowingly grabbed two coffee mugs but realized she only needed to fill one. It was out of instinct and she thought it over again on how she was so used to having Lexa around she never actually thought about what it meant to not have her around.
"Do you think I could get some of that." Lexa watched Clarke jump a little. She had heard the coffee machine beep. Opening her eyes she watched Clarke pull down two mugs before stopping herself. She figured she didn't even realize what she was doing until she started pouring the coffee. She watched Clarke start to pour into both mugs without responding to her. She watched her add creamer and sugar just like she did every morning for the both of them. Clarke had learned exactly how she liked her coffee in the morning. She wanted to stand and stretch but she wasn't exactly sure what to do since she had slept against the door. She watched Clarke who seemed stiff as she turned around placing the second mug on the edge of the counter as if she was okay to come and get it. She stood stretching thinking to herself that had to have been the worst sleep she had ever had in her life.
"Thank you" Lexa still couldn't read Clarke. She just sat there staring at her sipping her coffee. She hadn't said a word and that scared her a little. She turned after grabbing the coffee to head back towards the door.
"You can sit down Lexa." Clarke finally spoke. She had watched the girl stretch her body and crack her neck. Once again she thought about how uncomfortable sleeping on the floor actually was. She figured because of everything her emotions were unknown because Lexa hadn't been able to read her so far. If she had been able to she would have known she was okay to sit down. Not sure what to say though she watched Lexa turn and pull out the stool sitting across from her. They both just stared at each other drinking their coffee.
"You didn't have to sleep on the floor." Clarke finally broke the silence knowing Lexa wouldn't
"I didn't feel welcome." Lexa spoke the truth. Last night for the first time in awhile she felt like a stranger in Clarke's apartment.
"I wasn't expecting you to come back to be honest." Clarke sat up not sure if she wanted to have this conversation so early.
"I didn't expect you to open the door." Lexa watched Clarke she could tell the blonde was struggling with her emotions.
"I think there was a lot of unexpected last night." Clarke closed her eyes for just a minute.
"You didn't lock your door." Lexa had known standing on the other side of the door that if Clarke had locked it that it meant she didn't want to see her. She felt like it was an eternity standing on the other side waiting to hear the door lock.
"I figured inside my apartment would have been more comfortable than outside my door but you didn't seem to make it that far after coming in anyways." Clarke sipped her coffee some more. She could feel them both circling the subject.
"Clarke it means a lot to me that you opened your door last night after everything." Lexa wanted to reach across the table and grab the blondes hand.
"Honestly Lexa like I said I didn't expect to see you. I wasn't even sure what to think or do seeing you stand on the other side of my door." Clarke wasn't sure why Lexa was being calm or not yelling at her at the moment.
"Why did you think I wouldn't come back." Lexa had a feeling she knew the answer but she wanted to make sure before she brought something else up.
"Do you not remember what you said to me last night Lexa." Clarke was in disbelief for a moment. She knew she fucked up seriously about not telling the brunette about everything but hearing what Lexa had to say to her is what hurt her the most.
"I think there was a lot said last night Clarke." Lexa tapped her fingers on the counter still wanting to reach across the counter to grab the blondes hand.
"You told me you wanted as far away from me as possible Lexa, I know I did a lot wrong yesterday. I did a whole world of hurt but I never expected you to say that to me." Clarke closed her eyes for a second trying her hardest to not cry.
"Clarke I was hurt. I still am hurt. I never thought you would lie to me if I can even call it that. I was hit with a whole lot of information at once and I just needed to get away from everyone." Lexa hated feeling like she was going to cry and she hated it even more seeing the blonde try and hold back her own tears.
"You left with her Lexa." Clarke felt the first tear drop and she wiped it quickly.
"Clarke we need to talk about something." Lexa watched Clarke meet her eyes she felt the blue meet her green and she knew this was going to be harder than she expected. She could see the fear in Clarke's eyes like she already had prepared herself for something happening between her and Echo and it crushed her that she actually expected it. Getting up from the counter Lexa walked back grabbing the envelope that was left for Clarke before coming back to sit down. She laid in the middle of them trying to read Clarke once again but she had shut down.
"Do I even want to know Lexa." Clarke held her breath for a minute trying to control her emotions. She told herself not to get mad that she had expected something bad in that envelope but the way Lexa had said it to her made her heart drop into her stomach like she was going to throw up.
"Something happened last night." Lexa was cut off seeing Clarke move like she was going to get out of the stool. Unexpectedly she reached across the counter grabbing Clarke's hands keeping her at the counter.
"Lexa do I want to know." Clarke said it slowly feeling her anger rise just a little because Lexa had kept her at the counter and she wanted move to do anything but look at the envelope.
"I don't think you do Clarke but you need to know. I need you to know." Lexa watched the tears start to fall from the blondes eyes. She couldn't control it anymore.
"Fine Lexa it's whatever you say." Clarke grabbed the envelope seeing her own hands shake she watched Lexa put her head in her hands before running them back up her face. She could see the tip of a photograph and she was terrified to look any further. Looking back at Lexa she could see the tears welling up in the girls eyes. Clarke pulled out the first picture and it was of Echo and Lexa sitting on a couch together. Closer than expected but took a deep breath hoping that was the just of it all. Pulling out the second photo it was of Echo hugging Lexa or that is what it seemed to be and she felt her heart break a little seeing that there was one more photo and by judging Lexa's body language it was the one she was afraid of as well. Clarke set the envelope down quickly.
"Clarke there is one more photo in there." Lexa watched the blonde look at the other two photos she had placed on her counter. She felt her body go rigid seeing Clarke wipe her tears again that were flowing a little more now.
"Where did you go Lexa. Tell me the story." Clarke wanted to know what happened before she took out the last picture.
"Clarke I need you to look at the photo first." Lexa could see the anger rise in Clarke.
"Lexa tell me the story." Clarke looked up meeting Lexa's green eyes that had welled up with tears.
Lexa told herself to breath. She had been holding her breath from watching Clarke pull out each picture. Seeing Clarke stop and hearing her ask for the story made it even harder. Part of her brain told her she had a right to be mad. That Clarke didn't get to be the only one crying or upset about everything. She had been lied to by the people she loved. Clarke had known Gustus was her father and she didn't tell her. Even with knowing all of that and hurting herself she knew that picture was going to tell a thousand words even if she didn't speak. She had walked out with Echo. She had walked up to the girls apartment and even being set up the kiss did happen. She didn't kiss the girl back but who was to believe that.
"I left you." Clarke cringed slightly hearing Lexa start the story.
"I left you, and I followed Echo to her car. Eventually we ended up at her apartment on the other side of town. I went in and was trying to sort out my thoughts. I was trying to figure out everything that happened. I was trying to wrap my head around my father and Gustus and you and Finn and your mother and even Echo. I ended up having a beer." Lexa stuttered just a little seeing Clarke look up at her suddenly hearing the beer part.
"You were drinking." Clarke tapped on the photos. She had been staring at the one of Echo and Lexa hugging. She hated seeing it. She hated knowing that Echo had her hands on Lexa. It made her want to throw up just thinking about god knows what else could have happen.
"Yes I had a beer. She offered me whiskey but with what I drank at dinner I figured the beer was best." Lexa hoped hearing the fact that she turned down the whiskey for just a beer it helped a little. She was starting to think that the more of the story she told the more likely she was going to be able to say it.
"Then what happened." Clarke picked up the envelope again seeing the edge of the picture. She almost knew what happened next and whatever it was it was in the envelope.
"We got to talking. Echo was telling me about what it meant that I left you back at my place and came with her. That coming with her and back to her like it always was meant something." Lexa took another deep breath seeing Clarke meet her eyes again.
Clarke rolled her eyes before looking at Lexa again. She figured Echo would open her big mouth as usual. The only difference this time was that Echo had been right for at least the first half of everything. No matter what did happen she had to admit there was a little satisfaction in Lexa ending back up at her apartment. Whatever Gustus had done something had clicked and the brunette left.
"I think you should look at the photo now Clarke." Lexa had been watching Clarke think as she tapped on the envelope. She figured the blonde didn't even know she was doing it. Lexa watched Clarke open the envelope and she felt her heart speed up as she watched Clarke pull out the photo and look at it. She had no emotion. Lexa couldn't read her and it was the worst feeling ever till she seen the tears start to fall again from the blondes eyes and she broke down herself.
"Clarke please." Lexa stopped talking as she watched Clarke shove herself up out of the stool. Lexa could see the hurt and anger in her face and she didn't know what to say.
Clarke stood staring at the photo of Echo and Lexa kissing. She didn't know what to think she wasn't even sure if she was allowed to think. Her heart was breaking seeing the woman she loves kissing another girl. She wanted to smash something to break something and to scream but she told herself to give Lexa a chance to explain like she wasn't given yesterday. She needed to keep her cool somehow or she was going to lose it.
"Lexa please tell me this isn't real." Clarke slammed the picture down on the counter pushing it towards the brunette.
"I can't do that Clarke but it's not what it seems." Lexa jumped hearing Clarke slam her hand down on the counter again.
"How is it not what it seems Lexa. You fucking kissed her." Clarke felt herself losing it.
"No no Clarke she kissed me." Lexa stood quickly hoping she could make Clarke understand.
"Is there a damn difference Lexa?" Clarke looked up at Lexa who was crying.
"Yes there is. I didn't kiss her back Clarke I swear I didn't." Lexa wasn't sure if she should step around the counter or not.
"Did your lips touch hers?" Clarke stepped up to the counter wanting to see Lexa say it.
"Yes but Clarke." Lexa could see Clarke's walls breaking down and it was killing her.
"I can't fucking believe this." Clarke picked up the photo and ripped it in half throwing it at the brunette across from her. She started to walk off but she felt Lexa grab her again.
"Clarke I didn't kiss her back." Lexa struggled to hold onto the blonde who was fighting her.
"You fucking kissed her Lexa. You left me crying in your room to kiss Echo, to kiss that bitch." Clarke some how got her hand free smacking Lexa across the face.
"I guess you had already had come to your conclusion on us. I mean it's not cheating if we're not together right." Clarke stuttered slightly stunned at what she just did. She smacked Lexa and that was never something she expected to do. She watched the hurt roll over Lexa's face from her words and actions.
"No Clarke I didn't come to that conclusion." Lexa said it flat as she got a hold of Clarke again only to feel her try and break free.
"You're no different Lexa. I fucked up I will own my mistake of not telling you. Yes I withheld it Lexa I did it for Gustus because I knew how hard you were going to take the news. I knew that it was going to break you down so I wanted it to come from him. He told me he would tell you and if he wasn't going to I would do it myself. I tried dammit Lexa I tried." Clarke felt herself start to crumble. She wasn't sure how long she was going to be able to fight with Lexa. She also wasn't sure how long Lexa was going to take it.
"Clarke it was too much for me last night to understand. I wasn't thinking. I would never do that to you on purpose." Lexa refused to let go of the blonde no matter how hard she was fighting her. No matter what had just happened.
"You kissed her. Why." Clarke started to sob. She wasn't even sure if you could understand her words.
"Why Lexa. Why would you do that to us." Lexa was crying. Hearing Clarke ask why was breaking her heart. She felt stupid for being mad. She was hurt but leaving with Echo was a mistake she was going to have to own.
"Just why, tell me why." Clarke felt her knees go weak she tried to catch herself but she felt Lexa wrap her arms around her holding her up.
"I promise Clarke. I promise I didn't." Lexa held onto Clarke. She knew better than to even say kiss she just needed Clarke to understand.
"You did though Lexa. I didn't kiss anyone else. I didn't touch anyone else Lexa." Clarke yelled it into Lexa's chest as she pushed on her. She felt the girl pick her up a little pulling her into her lap as they sunk to the ground together.
"Did I mess up that bad Lexa. Did I hurt you that bad for you to go to her and not me." Clarke gave up on fighting and just sat there with Lexa's arms around her crying.
"Clarke I love you. I only want to be with you. We made mistakes last night but like you said to me. This isn't the end of us Clarke, this isn't." Lexa could almost hear herself beg for Clarke to understand.
"Lexa I can't." Clarke stopped talking when she pulled herself up and saw the brunette in front of her who was also crying and her face was tinted red where she had smacked her.
"Clarke." Lexa wiped the blondes eyes with hope in her heart that she wasn't going to pull away. She wasn't sure what Clarke was going to say so she cupped her face and took the risk leaning down brushing her lips across the blondes. She didn't feel Clarke kiss her back but she felt her suck in a breath.
"I love you Clarke. You have my heart." Lexa pulled back searching the blondes eyes for anything.
"Lexa." Clarke still didn't know what to think. They were both sitting on her floor crying. She kept looking at Lexa wondering how they got here. Wondering how both of them had messed up this much in so little time. Lexa had kissed her and the only thing she felt in her body was need. She wanted the brunette so bad. She leaned forward kissing Lexa. She felt Lexa stiffen for just a second before she felt the girls hand grab her neck pulling her closer kissing her harder. It wasn't a sweet kiss or a kiss of passion it wasn't even a I'm sorry kiss it was just a kiss, a kiss of proof they were both still there together.
"Clarke can we please talk." Lexa pulled back a little leaning her forehead on the blondes seeing her eyes were still closed.
"I don't want to talk." Clarke shook her head leaning back up she stood. She was a little wobbly but some how she got up.
"Please I know I am asking a lot." Clarke cut off Lexa turning back around she grabbed the brunette yanking her into another kiss. She refused to talk they had talked to much she just wanted the brunette she wanted to feel Lexa again. Feel the girl she loved and nothing else. Pushing against Lexa she felt the brunette fight her at first before giving in. She immediately met Clarke with the same amount of force. They both were grasping at everything they could. Shivering she felt Lexa slide her hands up her shirt before dragging her nails down her back pulling her flush to her. The kiss was heated this time. There was no question about desire between the two. Clarke reached down lifting Lexa's shirt up throwing it off she pushed Lexa backwards feeling her stumble into the door until they both abruptly fell into each other.
Lexa felt like she was on fire. Clarke had kissed her so hard and so needy it was almost like she needed proof she was there standing in front of her. She let out a moan the second she felt Clarke's teeth connect with her neck. Everything and nothing about them right now was themselves but after everything they both just wanted each other. Lexa forced Clarke to lift her arms breaking their contact ripping her shirt off. Lexa pulled the blonde back biting her lip before she flipped their position she shoved Clarke back against the door and started kissing down the girls jaw making her way to her neck sucking hard leaving every mark she could on her way down. Reaching behind Clarke she unclasped her bra letting it fall she felt Clarke dig her nails into her shoulders as she circled her tongue over one of Clarke's nipples using her fingers on the other one she could hear Clarke start to moan above her. She started to pull down Clarke's shorts feeling the blonde push off the door a little Lexa stood picking Clarke up heading for her bedroom she shoved the door open dropping Clark on her bed before climbing on top of her meeting the blondes desperate needs.
Clarke couldn't breath she felt like Lexa was smothering her and it's exactly what she wanted. She could feel her hands grabbing and her teeth and tongue working over her body. She knew she was being owned at the moment and she didn't care. She pulled up on Lexa's hair making the brunette come back up kissing her long and hard. Clarke pushed on her till she rolled over. Clarke looked down at Lexa her lips were swollen and her hair was a mess but Clarke could see the love in the girls eyes. She could still see everything that was her Lexa in her eyes. Leaning down Clarke kissed her again letting her heart pour into this time. It was still desperate but she let herself feel she let Lexa feel her. She slid her hands down Lexa's stomach pulling down her sweats pushing off the bed she removed them completely. Crawling back up she started to kiss and lick her way up Lexa's thigh. She felt the brunette lift her hips with each touch. She bit down on her hip sliding her tongue across her lower stomach before biting down on the other hip. She wanted to claim what was hers and Lexa was hers. Leaning up she pushed her hands up Lexa's stomach hard cupping both her breast she heard the girl gasp as the sudden contact when Clarke leaned forward pushing her knee hard up between the brunette's legs. Clarke started to grind her hips using her knee as pressure she bit down hard on Lexa's collarbone she couldn't tell if Lexa' groan came out from the pain or the friction between her legs.
.
"You're mine." Clarke whispered against the brunette's lips as she kept grinding her hips and thigh into Lexa she could feel how wet the brunette was underneath her. She watched Lexa open her eyes green suddenly meeting blue.
"You're mine." Lexa repeated Clarke's words finally able to read her emotions. She could see some of the hurt and pain had faded and the desire was there as well but the love was still shining in her eyes. It made Lexa's heart beat faster. She felt Clarke lean down causing Lexa to grab the blondes hand sliding it down between her thighs. She heard the blonde suck in a breath the second her fingers slid over Lexa feeling how wet the girl was she dipped her fingers inside her hearing Lexa start to moan as she spread her legs a little wider as the brunette started to buck her hips up allowing Clarke to push her fingers inside the her she felt Lexa tighten around her fingers almost making Clarke lose herself in the moment. She could feel the brunette grip their hips pulling them down harder each time Clarke pushed her fingers back inside her. She felt Lexa's thigh push between hers and this time with Clarke moaning leaning down she captured the girls lips. She bit down hard on her lip before sliding her tongue across Lexa's lips letting their tongues dance and play as she felt Lexa's body start to shake. She was close she could hear the girl moan into the kiss as her breathing started to hitch Clarke broke the kiss looking down at her. She felt Lexa's nails dig into her back as she broke trembling beneath Clarke she just watched as Lexa had pretty much screamed out her name losing herself in every pull and push Clarke kept moving her fingers in her. She felt Lexa's body start to come down causing her to brush her lips against the brunette's slow and soft. She tasted what might have been blood on the girls lip. Kissing her even slower this time she felt Lexa kiss her back feeling her fingers play along her back she sighed. Letting her body fall she laid her head on Lexa's shoulder feeling the brunette rub her back. She was tired but she didn't want to sleep.
"Lexa." Clarke listened to the girls heartbeat finally start to steady.
"Hmmm.." Lexa was completely relaxed she didn't want to lose the moment even though she knew it had to end at some point.
"We still need to talk." Clarke looked up at the brunette who still had her eyes closed. She hated to ruin the moment but it was the truth. Even after them stumbling into bed it hadn't changed anything.
"I know Clarke I know." Lexa pulled Clarke in tighter not wanting to let the girl go.
Clarke pushed herself up looking down at Lexa she kissed the girl again before crawling out of the bed walking into the bathroom. Shivering from the loss of heat she didn't shut the door there really was no point. Looking at her lips they were still swollen and she could see a couple of light marks on her body but she definitely had a few dark ones which visible teeth marks involved in them she would have to try and hide. She ran her fingers down them thinking what had just happened. It was out of need and want and the passion between the two of them the draw it was just never ending. It didn't leave them. No matter how mad or hurt they were they still ended up at her place and in bed. It wasn't always the answer but she couldn't deny that it meant something.
"Do you regret it?" Lexa seen Clarke jump. She had gotten up and seen Clarke looking over herself in the mirror. She could see the blonde thinking with every touch and mark she seen left on her body. She was afraid that what had just happened shouldn't have happened.
"No." Clarke shook her head. She seen the worry in Lexa's eyes. She walked up to the girl grabbing her face she pulled down her lip. It was blood she tasted earlier she obviously had gotten a little lost in the moment. She could also still see the red tint on Lexa's face that finally had started to fade some.
"I'm sorry." Clarke grabbed a rag wiping Lexa's lip down before applying a little bit of coconut oil on it to help it heal.
"What is that?" Lexa pulled away tasting it.
"Trust the doctor." Clarke couldn't stop herself from laughing when she seen Lexa scrunch up her face looking at her.
"Don't be sorry, it looks like we both got a little caught up." Lexa reached out tipping Clarke's head seeing the marks she left down her collarbone and a little farther. Reaching down she grabbed Clarke's hand. She could tell both of them were like walking on eggshells.
"You haven't looked in the mirror." Clarke bit her lip because she could see evidence of herself all down Lexa's body and like she had said she didn't regret it.
"Do I even want to look." Lexa had seen a flash in Clarke's eyes before she felt herself get pulled forward to face the mirror.
"Well ummm.." Lexa eyed herself in the mirror. She could see Clarke's teeth marks all the way down her body especially a deep one on her shoulder.
"Do you regret it?" Clarke wanted to laugh seeing her nails marks down Lexa's back before meeting her eyes in the mirror.
"Never." Lexa heard Clarke let out a small sigh before walking out of the bathroom. She watched the blonde look around her room for something to throw on. Grabbing a hoodie Lexa seen it was one of the ones she use to wear that was Clarke's. It made her smile as she walked out of the bathroom into Clarke's living room.
Clarke watched Lexa walk past her in just sweats causing her to shake her head. The girl had no problem with being half naked anywhere it seemed. Walking into the living room behind her she seen that Lexa had grabbed one of her t-shirts out of the bad she had viciously brought home. Walking around she picked up their shirts that had been scattered before walking over to her counter looking at the photo she had ripped up and thrown at Lexa.
"Can we talk now?" Lexa leaned back against the couch hoping that Clarke seeing the picture again didn't back step them. Watching the blonde pick it up and throw it away she finally felt like they were headed into the right direction of what they needed to talk about.
"Yeah we can talk." Clarke turned seeing it was now past lunch time she reached in her refrigerator and grabbed a beer. She felt like she was ready for the conversation now.
Lexa sat down on the couch watching Clarke sit down on the opposite side she curled up and looked at Lexa.
"I'm sorry Lexa." Clarke felt like she needed to start the conversation.
"I'm sorry that I kept something from you. Something that was very important. I know you might not ever understand why I did it but I did. I can only say sorry for the fact that it hurt you but if I had a choice to withhold it again for Gustus I probably would." Clarke watched Lexa's take in all the information.
"I'm also sorry for smacking you. I never thought I would do a such thing and it also happened and I will regret that for a long time." Clarke leaned forward cupping the girls cheek that she had hit telling herself not to cry again.
Lexa sat listening to Clarke apologize to her for everything she did out of heart. Clarke had not told her to protect her. Clarke had went to the meeting with Finn to protect her and Clarke had smacked her for all of the reasons and emotions bunched together. She wasn't sure how she was so blind to seeing it some times but Clarke is the main reason she is still standing. She is the reason she left Echo's apartment. She is the reason she ended up back at her apartment. She is the reason she didn't do something stupid after finding everything out regarding her father. She might have been hurt but Clarke was the reason she is who she is today.
"Clarke it should be me saying sorry to you. I accept your apology because I know it's what you need to hear and because you do have a decent backhand." Lexa couldn't help but smile at Clarke seeing her roll her eyes.
"I'm hurt Clarke. I don't think that will go away because so much has been thrown at me but I left you after you begged me to just give you a chance to explain and I didn't. Instead I left and I did in the worst way possible. I didn't even know how to talk Clarke, but I'm lucky to have you. You make me whole you make me understand so much more about myself then I have ever been able to grasp." Lexa scooted closer to Clarke grabbing her free hand making Clarke look at her.
"We both made mistakes Lexa. This isn't all on you." Clarke took a drink of her beer feeling her throat go dry.
"I know you don't want to hear this but I have to say it. I did not kiss her back Clarke. I know it might not matter to you. I know you might take it as a kiss is a kiss but I swear I didn't kiss her back." Lexa watched Clarke cringe a little before processing it.
"I understand but I don't. I know in my heart you didn't initiate the kiss Lexa and that does help me but it's going to take me awhile to get that picture out of my head if I ever can. I hate the fact that she touched you. I hate that she got her way and that she proved a small point to be true even though you came back to me. How you ended back here I will never know but I am thankful that you did." Clarke squeezed Lexa's hand watching the guilt hit her a little harder then the last time.
"Gustus he slammed the door open and yelled at me even though I fired him." Lexa laughed a little thinking about the man. She still needed to talk to him as well.
"Well I will have to thank him for that." Clarke watched Lexa smile and it helped her some.
"You are going to need to thank Octavia as well." Lexa peaked up looking at Clarke's face and she had her eyebrow raised stopping herself from drinking her beer.
"Why?" Clarke was curious.
"Well Gustus left a car for me once I left Echo's and I figured he would, but what I didn't guess was that Octavia was sitting in it waiting for me." Lexa bit her lip hoping she wasn't about to get Octavia in trouble.
"That bitch. I swear she knows too much sometimes." Clarke threw her head back laughing about her best friend.
"She is pretty scary when she is mad. She also has some special mind reading thing going on. I think her and Gustus made a pretty good team against us." Lexa smirked thinking about how Octavia threatened her life last night.
"How much does she know because I remember rambling on half drunk to her in your room." Clarke covered her face for a second thinking about how ridiculous she was last night.
"You got drunk in my room." Lexa watched Clarke stare at her through her fingers.
"I might of. Your whiskey is aged well." Clarke shrugged her shoulders seeing Lexa laugh. She knew they weren't done fighting over everything but sitting with her on her couch with both of them giggling over everything warmed her heart. She was happy they were talking.
"Octavia knows about the kiss I told her. She pretty much put a hit out on my life if I didn't tell you. I honestly don't think anyone knows about the photos though." Lexa watched Clarke smirk but she didn't know why.
"I'm not surprised about her warning you but I am surprised you aren't already dead. I am though very happy you came back." Clarke leaned forward again cupping Lexa's face looking the girl in the eyes showing her she meant everything she had said.
"I love you Clarke. I don't know how I got so lucky, and even luckier that you haven't given up on me." Lexa leaned forward pulling Clarke into her lap kissing her as she brought her into a tight hug.
SLAM
"Please tell you guys have made up already." Clarke spilled her beer on Lexa turning around seeing Octavia standing in her doorway.
What the hell O." Clarke shook her head laughing feeling Lexa's groan about being wet and not in a good way.
A/N YaY so we got somewhere after a lot of crying and a little heated argument and a make up session. This chapter might make another controversial one but I love hearing what everyone has to say, good or bad. I hope at least some of you are happy with the smiling at the end but it's not over just yet. Please let me know what you think annnddd I will start writing a new chapter now. Thanks for all the support everyone. xoxoxo