A/N Okay next chapter is up and like I said a lot of talking and informational but we're working our way to a lot of things. I'm kind of excited and so far we have a few talks in this chapter but the end is well just read and will see.
Also big thanks to everyone leaving reviews. It helps to know what everyone thinks good or bad and thank you for the compliments on my writing. If you have been reading from the start this is my first fic and it means more then you guys know hearing that. Enjoy. xoxoxo
Lexa stood in Clarke's bedroom listening to the girls out in the living room laughing at who knows what. She felt odd asking Clarke to take a shower but for some reason she felt like she needed to due to where they were. They had made progress and they had sex on top of talking but that still didn't mean things just go back to how they were. Actually things would never be the same so she hoped they both could just grow with this. She knew Clarke was going to talk to Gustus and she knew that she needed to talk to Gustus as well but she felt in her heart she needed to talk to her father, or the guy she knew as her father first. Sitting on Clarke's bed she thought about it some she wasn't even sure how to approach anything yet. Her whole life had just been tossed to pieces regarding her family and the only solid thing in her life was Clarke and she almost threw that away as well. Shaking off the sick feeling regarding all the talking she was going to need to do she stripped down and got in the shower. For some reason she wanted to turn the radio on and sing maybe drown out the world for the day but that wasn't going to happen with the girls in the other room. She wasn't that crazy nor was she willing to give Octavia ammo against her. She could feel her back sting in the hot water causing her to wince.
"Clarke." Lexa hissed out the girls name feeling her back burn even more with the shampoo and conditioner she rinsed out of her hair.
Climbing out of the shower she wiped the mirror looking at her back and of course it was Clarke. The girl had given her a few good marks during their emotional make up sex if that is what you could call it. Lexa figured it was just a way of them to get everything out. They both had been so emotional and such a mess that the easiest way to release it was exactly what they did. Stumbling into bad and it wasn't their usual case of sex it had been brutal and emotionally exhausting and they both had proof on their bodies of it. Grabbing some of Clarke's sweats and a tank top she figured it would make due till she had a chance to go home. Walking towards the door she creeped it open and heard Octavia and Raven all but begging Clarke to tell them how she was in bed. She couldn't help but find it cute that Clarke was blushing. Clarke had been refusing to spill anything about their sex life so Lexa figured it would be fun to go with it.
"Interesting subject." Lexa stood in the doorway seeing Octavia and Raven jump and Clarke was now bright red.
"Yeahhh about that." Lexa listened to Octavia but kept her eyes on Clarke.
"Ohhaayyyy looks like it isn't just Clarke with some marks." Clarke bit her lip hearing Raven point out the marks on Lexa.
"Is she going to be okay?" Lexa pointed at Raven.
"Oh she's fine." Clarke shook her head at her best friend watching her focus on Lexa even though the brunette was still staring at her.
"So tell me commander how is my best friend in bed?" Clarke's jaw dropped hearing what Octavia had just asked Lexa. Picking up the pillow she blasted her in the head with it.
"Ouch bitch." Clarke couldn't help but laugh seeing Octavia rub her head.
"Well Octavia if I had to rate Clarke I would say." Lexa wasn't going to finish the sentence but she was just waiting for Clarke to react.
"You shut your mouth or you will never get laid again." Clarke started laughing as she stood up running towards Lexa seeing the brunette laughing.
"Seeeee I told you Clarke was the undercover freak." Lexa laughed at Raven's words looking at the Clarke seeing her blush again.
Clarke couldn't believe all of them were ganging up on her regarding her own sex life. Lexa was willing to give her a number rate which she planned on finding out what that actually was behind closed doors. Octavia and Raven were on the couch launching pillows at them hooting and whistling at them because Clarke was still currently chasing Lexa around the counter who was giving out small hints about what they do in bed.
"You see she likes this thing I do.." Lexa teased seeing Clarke stop in her tracks glaring at her.
"Don't you dare because this goes both ways." Clarke slowly walked around the counter staring down Lexa.
"Lexa loves it when I." Clarke stopped raising an eyebrow at Lexa whose jaw dropped for a second.
"Spit it out you two." Clarke flipped off Octavia who had been watching them go back and forth regarding their sex life.
"Clarke likes to start." Lexa waited for it this time she knew Clarke was going to charge her and she did. Lexa stopped and held her ground the second Clarke hit her she picked her up throwing her over her shoulder.
"Alexandra." Clarke yelled the brunette's full first name before coughing from the sudden hit and she was pissed.
"Ohhhh full name." Clarke could see Octavia laughed and Raven holding a hand over her mouth.
"So do you two want to head out why I take care of this one." Lexa smirked seeing Octavia's face go from confused to understanding in seconds.
"You are not handling shit unless you put me down now." Clarke wiggled trying to break free while partially hanging upside down.
"We're gone." Lexa watched Octavia help Raven up as they headed for the door.
"You better make sure she is okay." Clarke yelled at Octavia.
"Blondie take notes I want to know all about this." Clarke listened to her best friend but tried to trick Lexa into putting her down by reaching for the doorway.
"No no no." Lexa swung Clarke around keeping her away from everything.
The second Lexa heard the door shut she pulled Clarke back over her shoulder letting their bodies mold to each others before she caught Clarke's lips on the way down moaning into the kiss herself. It hadn't been long since she had her hands on the blonde but something about kissing her was addicting.
"Jerk." Clarke couldn't stop herself from kissing the brunette but she finally snapped to pushing her away.
"What having sex is better than talking about it with your friends right." Lexa smirked seeing Clarke roll her eyes.
"Who says you're getting laid." Clarke crossed her arms tapping her foot at the brunette.
"Ummm the commander." Lexa laughed trying to use her own nickname.
"Ohhh you didn't just go there." Clarke laughed sitting down on the stool.
"What I can't help myself." Lexa walked up to Clarke rubbing her hands up and down on the girls arms.
"That is not going to get you anywhere." Clarke looked up at Lexa who was pouting.
"We need to talk." Clarke snuck under Lexa's arms because if she didn't get away she was going to give in with the way Lexa was looking at her.
"About?" Lexa hated Clarke's tone on top of the fact that she was still trying to forget the world.
"These." Clarke held up the photos she took off her coffee table.
"I thought." Lexa was confused seeing Clarke had taken all the photos out of the trash.
"I showed Octavia and from what Raven says this is not Echo's apartment or at least not the one she has been too." Clarke sat the photos on the counter pushing them at Lexa.
"Raven has been to her apartment?" Lexa looked down at the photos again.
"Is that a problem?" Clarke could taste the attitude she just spit out and she knew it was heard because Lexa looked up at her.
"No." Lexa wasn't sure if she should say anything else because she could see the anger in the blondes eyes.
"Good." Clarke stood walking away from the situation she needed to not spiral back to jealousy because Echo really had nothing on her.
"Are you okay?" Lexa stood watching Clarke who had walked away. She couldn't tell once again what Clarke was feeling but she knew it wasn't good.
"I'm fine, but Lexa I am going to bring them to Gustus." Clarke held her breath just a little knowing her back was still facing Lexa and she had walked away for a few reasons.
Lexa stood looking down at the photos and then to Clarke's back. She hadn't expected Clarke to bring up Gustus so quickly with everything that had just happened but then again remembering what Octavia had said he was almost like a father figure to the blonde as well or at least it was the first man she had opened up too. Lexa had hoped to just ignore the world for the day but she knew it was too good to be true.
"Okay." Lexa wasn't sure what else to say and she watched Clarke turn back around. It was obvious she was checking her body language.
"You're okay with it." Clarke walked back towards Lexa.
"I can't stop you from doing what you want to do Clarke. That has been obvious but let me grab my things because I need to head home anyways." Lexa tried not to let herself get mad because there was nothing to be mad about but for some reason it came out a little bit harsh anyways.
Clarke stood watching Lexa grab the few things she had with her when she showed up. She had stepped back just a little bit with the comment on not being able to control her actions which was true but Lexa was referring to not talking to her about Finn first.
"Do I need to empty that drawer since you know." Lexa looked down at the bag that Clarke had filled full of her stuff when she left her place yesterday. It hurt just a little seeing Clarke actually think it over rather than just answering.
"No not unless you want too." Clarke knew dragging all of her stuff out of Lexa place was a stupid move but being slightly drunk and emotional she did it anyways. She wasn't sure what Lexa was going to do regarding her own stuff though.
"Are you going to change." Lexa had let out a breath hearing Clarke say no. It had taken too long for the answer but she at least got what she wanted to hear.
"No um I am going to grab a quick shower and handle a few things. I will probably just text him to meet him in a bit." Clarke knew that Lexa was thinking she was just going to ride over with her.
"Oh okay um well I am assuming they switched out cars last night since I didn't leave." Lexa gestured to the door knowing for a fact she had a ride downstairs.
Clarke wasn't sure how to say goodbye she had never really actually said bye to Lexa without knowing what they would be doing later or when they would be seeing each other again. She just stared at the brunette who shifted slightly not sure what to do as well. They both were just staring and Clarke decided to make the first move heading towards her.
"Maybe will see each other later." Clarke whispered as she wrapped her arms around Lexa. She felt the brunette hug her tightly. Clarke didn't want to let go but she knew she had too. Now that some things had been talked about they both needed a little space to handle the rest of it.
"Clarke." Lexa felt like Clarke was saying goodbye to her and it scared her to death.
"Lexa." Clarke pulled back a little looking up into Lexa's green eyes.
"This isn't goodbye right?" Lexa had to ask she needed to prepare herself for the worse.
Clarke was a little taken back by the question. She knew herself it felt like one but she never thought Lexa would actually ask it. Clarke felt her words choke up so she leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to the brunette's lips shaking her head no.
"No Lexa this isn't the end of us." Clarke used her same words as she did the night before. She felt Lexa let out the deep breath she was holding. Clarke stepped back watching Lexa crunch up her things in her arms before opening the door.
"I love you." Lexa said to Clarke as she was walking out the door. She still felt like it was a goodbye no matter what the blonde had told her. She could see it in Clarke's eyes that she was telling the truth but for some reason in her heart she wasn't sure why she felt like Clarke had put a wall all of a sudden.
"I love you too." Clarke whispered to herself knowing Lexa couldn't hear her because the door was already shut. She felt the tears start to slide down her cheeks wiping them she told herself not to cry because it wasn't the end of them. They just needed to work a few things out in the rest of their lives in order to come back stronger.
Lexa got out of the car and headed up the stairs to her room. She felt empty but she just told herself to trust in Clarke's words. Walking into her room she jumped seeing her father standing in the window looking outside. Tossing her things on the couch she sat down. She knew that he already could tells he was in the room. He might have not moved or said anything but she could just tell. She didn't know what to say she didn't think walking back into her room this talk was going to happen so quickly. She had kind of wanted to settle in a little or maybe sleep some more because her body and mind were exhausted.
"Did you stay with Clarke last night?" She looked up hearing his voice crack just a little.
"Yes but I am sure you already knew that." Lexa spoke softly she wanted to yell at him but for some reason his voice coming out at a different tone stopped her.
"I was hoping you'd be willing to talk to me this afternoon." Lexa all of a sudden felt uncomfortable. Her father never asked he always just demanded.
"I wasn't actually looking to talk but I know this is something that needs to be discussed." Lexa squeezed her hands together.
"I can give you your space Alexandra. Please just come to me when you are ready." Lexa watched her father turn heading for the door.
"No wait." Lexa ran her hands over her face.
"I want to talk I just don't know what to say yet." Lexa turned around seeing him slump his shoulders just a little in the doorway.
"How about I talk and you just listen then." She watched him turn back around waiting for her answer.
"Okay." Lexa left it simple pulling her legs up under her on the couch as she watched him sit down across from her.
"Alexandra no matter how this story ends you will always be my daughter. The choice Gustus and I made in the past was not a mutual one. I was a bitter man in the past when I found out that your mother had fallen for Gustus while married to me. I was engrossed in this business in my last name when she leaned on him and I wish I would have seen it. When she came to me about being pregnant I knew it wasn't mine. The timeline didn't fit. Gustus stepped up being the man who he is and admitted it was him and that the baby was his. I was outraged and being who I am I threatened to ruin both their lives if it came out that she had cheated on me and was having another man's baby. At the time I was just a little older than you and I was in the same position as you to become the owner of this business to become the Voss the everything I had been working for. I just didn't realize I was losing my wife in the process." Lexa watched him struggle with his words. It has to be the weakest she had ever seen her father and for some reason she reached out grabbing his hand a little and giving it a gentle squeeze. It shocked both of them but he squeezed back before she let his hand go.
"Gustus being the man who he is came to me with an agreement. It wasn't his choice to make but he asked me to please leave your mother out of the issue along with your future. I of course wouldn't allow that. So Gustus came up with the idea that I would say you were mine and that I was allowed to raise you as long as I supported your mother and you. He asked that I give you life he would never be able to do but only under the condition he got to stay in your life. He wanted to watch you grow up and become the girl you are today." Lexa took in all the information. She was still upset that it took this long for both of them to talk about it and she had a feeling it would never come out if it wasn't for the situation.
"Why did it take so long for this to come out?" Lexa needed to know.
"I wanted to give you the option at 18 to know the truth but Gustus refused. You two had already bonded and he knew this would ruin that. He also wanted you to keep my last name so that you could strive on the life I've given you. I agreed because I also didn't want you to hate me even though we don't have the strongest bond I still love you Alexandra." Lexa looked up it has been years since had those words come out of her father's mouth.
"So you're telling me that no one is really at fault here you both committed to this 100 percent together pretty much." Lexa once again felt her anger surge she wanted to break something just because she realized she had no one really to blame for last night because it has been a mutual agreement.
"Yes I guess that is what I am saying. If you are going to hate him then you need to hate me as well." Lexa gritted her teeth sticking her head in her lap.
"What about Clarke?" Lexa needed to know what the point of the investigation was.
"Clarke is not what I expected. Gustus tried to reason with me that she was different and wasn't going to be like Echo or any of girl you had brought home but I didn't believe him. Learning with time that Clarke was not a threat I agreed to let things be but Finn had figured out more than I expected. I was informed of Echo and Clarke's mother's deal but I could not bring it to light without my own secret coming out." Lexa didn't say a word. The story was so twisted she couldn't even believe half of it.
"So you were willing to let my relationship with Clarke go down the drain because of Echo to keep your own secret?" Lexa felt her anger rise again thinking about it.
"Yes I was Alexandra. I know you might not like to hear that or this but I would do it again if it was to save you from this situation." Lexa closed her eyes not being able to look at him before punching the table knowing her father had jumped.
"If saying I'm sorry helps I truly am sorry Alexandra. Finn should be gone but as for Echo I cannot say if she is out of your life forever." Lexa thought it over shaking her head and gripping her hand a little.
"I have a feeling both are going to stick around." Lexa looked up at her father's concerned face.
"Why do you say that?" Lexa wasn't sure what to say.
"Gut feeling I guess. On top of the fact that they both seem to have it out for Clarke and I." Lexa stood this time walking to the window. She heard her father stand and head for the door.
"I know we are not on perfect ground Alexandra but you are still my daughter and that is not changing no matter what information has come to light. If you need anything please ask me." Lexa knew exactly what the meant. It meant she wasn't losing her money or a place in the business.
"Father." Lexa turned watching him turn with a small smile on his face with the name she used.
"Yes." thinking of the firm and her last name maybe it was time to use both to flip the tables.
"Do you know where Echo's apartment is?" Lexa smirked a little knowing her father knew it all.
Clarke sat at the coffee shop tapping the table. She had been waiting for Gustus for about 20 minutes now and it wasn't normal for him to be late to anything. She had the photos in her bag and she was curious to know if he knew anything at all about where he found Lexa last night. She still cringed thinking about Lexa being in an apartment with Echo let alone the kiss. Shaking her head she told herself to try and let it go that they needed to move forward and build everything back up. She wanted it to be Lexa and Clarke again and have no Echo or Finn involved in their lives. She planned on finding a way to make it happen.
"Sorry I am late." Gustus slid into the booth seeing Clarke jump a little.
"Where have you been?" Clarke slapped her hand on the table a little mad at him being late and scaring her.
"I was handling a few things." Gustus knew he was about to get questions.
"What is more important than this." Clarke took out the pictures shoving them towards Gustus. She immediately watched his expression seeing that he hadn't seen them before.
"Where did these come from?" Gustus looked up at Clarke.
"They were left on my door last night after you left." Clarke stuck her head in her hands she was nervous for some reason.
"Why didn't you call me then?" Gustus watched Clarke's expression noticing a few marks on the girls neck the second she turned her head.
"Ummm" Clarke wasn't sure how or what to say it.
"She came to you last night?" Gustus hid his smile happy that Lexa had listened to something he had said or maybe Octavia's threat.
"Yes." Clarke met his eyes seeing the humor in them.
"You let her in?" Gustus could tell Clarke was struggling still.
"Yup." Clarke took a deep breath.
"I need to thank Octavia." Gustus couldn't stop himself from smiling this time when Clarke glared at him.
'This is not funny." Clarke tapped on the photo of Echo and Lexa kissing.
"You know that isn't her Clarke, she would never hurt you purposely." Gustus wanted to knock some sense into the blonde.
"I know ughhhh." Clarke hit the table again in frustration.
"So I'm assuming you didn't only let her in." Gustus watched Clarke's hand move to her neck before looking at him.
"Ninja jerk." Clarke seen him smirking.
"Clarke I want to thank you for not making this any harder on me. I know you risked a lot and have lost a lot do to my secret. I promise when she decides to give me a chance to explain I will especially on your behalf." Gustus reached across the table grabbing Clarke's hand surprising her again.
"I already cried, screamed, broke things and all that goes with being a crazy girlfriend this morning along with well this." Clarke moved her jacket knowing the marks were already visible.
"Understood." Gustus coughed a little.
"Ohhh stop you act like you haven't seen it or known." Clarke reached across the table shoving Gustus.
"I have no idea what you are talking about." Gustus sat up straight making sure his stoic mood was back.
"My point is I told her all about you and asking me and the secret and I told her if I had to make the choice I would do it again. This is something that should have come from you Gustus. You should have been able to tell her not Finn and not that way." Clarke knew it was true.
"These photos." Gustus needed to change the subject because he didn't know what to say.
"Raven says that it's not Echo's apartment." Clarke knew Gustus wanted to change the subject so she let it go for the time being.
"What, then whose is it?" Gustus looked at the photos it was definitely the apartment he barged into last night.
"I don't know but Raven swears it's not that she has been to the outside of Echo's apartment and from the view of that photo it's not hers." Clarke lined up the photos.
"Raven has been to Echo's apartment?" Gustus looked up at Clarke.
"Why is that everyone's worry ughhh."Clarke snatched a photo back looking at it.
"Raven needs to show us where she went with Echo so we can figure out why there is two apartments Clarke." Gustus couldn't help but keep his eye on the ripped photo of Echo and Lexa.
"I ripped it in half and threw it at her." Clarke had seen him eye the photo a few times.
"Sounds appropriate. I showed my disapproval." Gustus looked at Clarke seeing her eyes well up a little.
"You seen it?" Clarke looked up at Gustus begging for the truth.
"Yes I pretty much broke the door down. Clarke we both know this is Echo. This is what she lives for." Gustus could see the worry on Clarke's face.
"Well if that is the case we need to figure her out once and for all because I can't keep thinking that any fight we have that she is going to come running in and swooping Lexa up." Clarke knew that Lexa would have to be willing to go but she was over having Echo around.
"Okay well I'll go back to this place and look around a little more to see what I can find and you go talk to Lexa." Gustus tried not to smile that he just pushed Clarke to go see the brunette.
"Really, I am not that stupid." Clarke smirked seeing exactly how Gustus tried to push her back to Lexa.
"I think it's you two who need to talk." Clarke was hoping the two of them would talk soon.
"I can not push that Clarke. She will come to me when she is ready." Gustus put his hands together trying to not let his feelings show.
"She cares about you ninja man. She will come around I promise." Clarke reached across the table covering his hands.
"Why are you not mad at me Clarke?" Gustus looked at the blonde finally asking the question he had been wondering.
"You umm well you remind me of my father Gustus. He was a generous man and he did everything possible for the people he cared about and even with your ninja status I see that in you." Clarke spoke from her heart. She hadn't even realized she grabbed the ring around her necklace.
"Well it is an honor." Gustus stood up knowing he had a job to do even if he was supposedly fired.
"Bye Gustus." Clarke sat back laughing knowing the man was going to just disappear as usual.
"Make sure you tell Lexa to keep those marks lower for now on." Clarke jumped hearing him whisper behind her. Turning around he was gone and she was laughing.
"God he is ridiculous." Clarke took out her phone texting Octavia. She was the next one on her list to yell at.
Lexa sat in front of the apartment she was at last night looking it over from the car window. She could tell it was fancy and high prices, even last night she had questioned that. The area around the building was even on the high end and it made her wonder exactly how much Clarke's mother was willing to pay to break them up or to at least take her daughter back. She wasn't even sure why it was such a grudge in the first place. She never expected Clarke's mother to go crazy and break things especially after reading up on her life and status. Something wasn't right about the situation. Tapping the information she had on the place she figured before going up she wanted to talk to Clarke first. She wanted to double check everything regarding her mother before she walked up the same stairs as last night and knocked on the door. Looking out the window she paused her driver from leaving. She seen a similar car pull up and she seen Gustus get out of it. She hadn't expected to see him which also means Clarke and him had already talked. Picking up her phone she had no messages from the blonde. She wanted to text her she had looked at her phone all day waiting and hoping to see Clarke's name on her phone but it hadn't happened so she told herself to wait it out. Getting out of the car she decided to make the first step.
"Gustus" Lexa spoke trying to keep her voice strong. She watched the man freeze like had never seen before. She watched his whole demeanor change. Nothing about the man standing in front of her screamed Gustus.
"Alexandra." Gustus coughed it out a little while turning around. He pulled all his emotions in the best he could.
"I'm not surprised to see you here. I'm assuming this means you have spoken with Clarke." Lexa watched the man put his hands behind his back standing tall.
"Yes I just left her." Gustus was happy to know that Clarke had at least mentioned him.
"Are you here to investigate that apartment." Lexa was trying to find out the plan.
"That was my intention." Gustus wanted to shuffle his feet her dead stare was making him nervous and he almost never felt this way.
"I think that is a bad idea." Lexa was speaking the truth.
"Why is that?" Gustus wasn't sure what she was planning.
"If you are around here or even seen here and whoever owns that place sees you then we are all caught so I recommend you get back in that car and leave." Lexa knew she was mad.. She was pissed that he was willing to listen to Clarke and that him and the blonde were still on good terms.
"As you wish." Gustus was about to turn on his foot.
"You do not work for me anymore why are you listening." Lexa all but raged.
"Alexandra this isn't about listening to you it's about doing the right thing. What you proposed is true and me being seen around here would tip off the people involving this." Gustus kept himself turned away from her because he was afraid to look her in the eye.
"Doing the right thing, you've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you feel you did the right thing in the past Gustus. Do you feel you accomplished all your goals standing next to me every day of my life lying to me. Do you feel like taking me to school or buying me ice cream or even better pushing me on the swing when I was five was the right fucking thing." Lexa stepped up to the side of him screaming. She couldn't control her anger anymore she was pissed at the man because he had been her father he was her father growing up more than anyone in her life and he lied. She trusted him and he lied.
"Alexandra." Gustus felt the tears well up in his eyes for the first time in many years.
"Don't Alexandra me Gustus. I trusted you I fucking trusted you. My whole life you were my father figure you knew how I looked at you and you knew how I felt. I always wondered why my father loved me from a distance I always questioned my worth and yet you were there for me proving to me every step of the way that I was worth it all. That I could handle anything that was put in front of me but I can't handle this. I can't handle you." Lexa tossed the papers she had in her hand at him and walked back to her car. She needed air once again and leaving was the only way it was going to happen. Getting in the car she picked up her phone to text Clarke and realized for the first time it wasn't a good idea. Scrolling through her phone she seen Echo's phone number. Scrolling through her phone some more she didn't know who to call.
"Dammit." Lexa punched the back of the seat. She was pissed she didn't know where to go or who to talk to.
Picking her phone back up she hit dial listening to the phone ring she wasn't sure if her idea was stupid or smart.
"Hey do you think you can meet me somewhere." Lexa took a deep breath before giving out directions to her driver and then again before turning her phone on silent. Sitting back she closed her eyes feeling the tears start to fall. Everything about what just happened was not okay and she couldn't help but wonder if it was every going to be okay.
A/N Ouch I know that is what you all have to be thinking because I was thinking it too. Okay so I am not going to say much or give much away just yet but let's just say the next two chapters will reveal a lot more so be prepared. Please review we all know it keeps us writers going and thanks again everyone. xoxoxo