Chapter 2
Beth fumed as her daddy pulled through her bags, dumping out every piece of metal found inside as she sat beside him. Useless, unable to stop him, even as Maggie stood before him shouting, "Daddy this is insane! How can you let that man talk you into this?" She demanded, all but stamping her foot as Hershel let out another heavy sigh, looking at his youngest to his oldest without a word before turning back to the bag. Beth could see the aggravation setting in. Knew he had to be tired of hearing this argument before.
"He's going to get her killed," Maggie continued, crossing her arms as she glared at the man in question. Daryl glared right back at her, his face scrunching up just a bit more like he wanted to say something else before turning away to head for the highway.
"Doing nothing is also killing her."
Beth whirled on him, her mouth gaping as she felt her chest tightening. "Daddy," she started to say, moving to stand with her sister as the man's head dropped, shaking as he said, "it's done, Beth. This is how we're doing this."
Beth shook her head, arms spread out wide as she looked at her sister, hoping for another argument. One that would tilt their Daddy in their favor, only to be faced with more tears. Maggie looked from Hershel to her, the tears on the edge of falling as her arms fell to her side, her head slowly shaking.
"I can't believe this," Beth fumed, storming away from the both of them. Her insides itching, the need for some kind of release getting the better of her as the lot of them made their way to the cars. She took one look around the space, noticing everyone -including her family-wrapped up in packing things together so they could find a new camp. Some other place where they could sit and wait for the inevitable.
Shifting her eyes over them one more time before she slipped off, needing a moment to be alone as she gathered her thoughts. The missing knife on the side of her jeans a bigger weight than the object originally would be as she rested her hand there, half expecting to find it. How funny it was that in just half a year they managed to find themselves use to holding guns, and knives at their side, when not even a year ago those things would have been hidden away. Considered dangerous and only pulled out for intruders and hunting. How quickly the world fell into something barbaric when, just moments before they were living their lives. Going to movies, meeting with friends, just living.
Beth let out a heavy sigh as she leaned against a tree, her gaze focused on the ground as she took a moment. Breathing in, and then out. Remembering all those ridiculous exercises that the doctors and therapists drilled into her mind. Asking her to find other ways. Unconsciously, her hand slipped to the claw marks still somewhat fresh on her arm. She doubted the man meant to create them. Focused more on his mission to get her blade than actually how bad he was harming her. She bet there was a bruise on her back, she doubted he pressed that hard, but it felt like he had. Closing her eyes, she tried to draw up the memory, focusing on the pain that he caused, no matter how minor it was.
Her fingers squeezed down on the bruises, not as effective as a blade, but still just as good as the pain sipped through her arm, flowing up as she let out a breath. Feeling something rush through her body before a twig snapped and she was forced to look up. For the second time meeting another pair of blue eyes. This time he wasn't confused. He knew exactly what was going on, and the hatred in his eye was evident as he came around the bushes, holding something in his other hand.
"Think you can use this?" he asked, holding up a metal bat. Beth gaped at him, her eyes going wide as he tossed the thing at her. Being caught off guard, the metal slipped through her fingers to land with a thump on the forest floor.
"What the hell am I supposed to do with this?" she asked, bending over to pick up the useless weapon.
"Learn to swing," he mumbled as he walked away. Beth looked at the bat, her eyes taking it in for only a moment before she gripped the edge of it rushed to the old redneck.
"This is stupid," she said, rushing up behind him. Daryl snorted, not even bothering to look at her as he continued walking "You don't have the right to do this!" she shouted, moving to shove him forward. Daryl turned just in time, causing her to stumble a few steps before she balanced herself and whirled on him.
"Daddy don't seem to be protestin," he said, looking her up and down. "Probably just as sick of your shit."
Beth gulped, her eyes meeting his for just a moment before she looked down at her new weapon. She couldn't argue that. She known how much trouble she was putting her Daddy through. Knew how stupid it was to make him worry about her when he had so many other things to go through. Even that day on the farm, when she watched her mother stumble out of the barn and then begged Maggie to join her. She knew it was stupid then. Knew she didn't mean a word of it, just wanted to get a rise out of her sister. Even though Maggie just lost another mother, a brother and now possibly even her sister because her sister was being down right stupid.
Looking up, she noticed the back of Daryl's angel wing vest disappearing through the brush and decided it was time to go. The others were ready to go, sitting the roadside as the two of them reappeared from the woods, and Beth felt her face heat up as she realized this was the second time in less than twelve hours that the two of them emerged together from the forest. She went straight to the truck where her father sat waiting for her, climbing into the cab and deciding it didn't matter what the others thought. Her daddy and sister knew what was going on between her and the older man. Knew that right now she hated him with every fiber of her being.
As the car started up, she rested her head against the back of the cab. Preparing herself for the long miles ahead as the group hunted for something more permanent. Something safer the farm, though Beth wondered what they could find out here. The woods seemed to go on for miles. A never ending of green that looked ready to swallow them up. Beth wasn't sure where they were heading exactly. Knew that the land was getting rougher. More up than down at the moment, and she could imagine they were heading up into the mountains. Which meant more hunting cabins and the more places they could likely hole up in for a while.
She must have drifted off at some point, her head rolling to the side in one quick movement that caused her to jump forward and take in her surroundings. They were now parked outside some middle of nowhere general store. A couple of cars parked on the side of it as Rick's SUV pulled up to the only gas pump.
The routine was the same. A few go in, take out the walkers and the others come in to search the place, all while some of them stayed outside to siphon what gas they could from the cars. Beth knew it was a matter of time before they were forced to abandon one or all of them. Until then, they continued on. Doing their best to make it through the day. She looked down at her arm, feeling the wounds etched into her skin, almost wishing she could look at them when her eyes rested on the bat in between her legs. It's cold steel resting against her leg and she looked up in time to see the man that gave it to her disappear into the store to do a quick sweep.
"Come on, Bethy," her father said, nudging her arm. Beth let out a heavy sigh as she picked up her make shift weapon and climbed out. Feeling even more useless than before as she walked around the car, holding her bat up ready to attack anything with her father on the other end as Maggie, Glenn and T-dog moved to check the tanks in the car.
Beth looked around, moving closer to the cars that sat abandoned on the other side of the gas station. Looking left and right for anything that might jump out at her. As she reached the furthest one, her eye caught sight of something glimmering in one of the cars. The sunlight hitting off of a small blade in the console of the car. Taking another look around her, she noted that the rest of the group was closer to the front entrance, still keeping a look out in that direction, and nothing else seemed to be coming from her side.
Stepping closer, she tried the door. Grimacing when the door wouldn't budge. The window was down, so Beth took that as a good sign as she reached her hand in and unlocked the door before yanking it open. Looking over to the other group, she noticed Daryl stepping out. Heading toward Glenn first who was pointing out which cars they spotted with gas in them. Ducking into the car, she quickly reached for the knife. Her fingers barely grasping over the warmed metal before something clawed at her boot. Beth screamed as she took in the barely rotted walker, the sound echoing as she kicked at it. Her pulse racing while the heel of her boot hitting it several times before one of the arms came off. The other arm continued grasping her, bringing the walker' teeth closer to her ankle as she tried to pull out of its grasp. Her breath catching in her throat as she noticed the nails digging into the leather on her boots.
Grabbing the bat resting on her lap, she brought the end of it down on its head, grunting as it barely made a dent before she brought it back up and slammed it down again. This time she noticed the head slightly cave in, but the walker's jaws were still snapping and tears were starting to water in her eyes, blurring her vision as the real thought that she might not get out of this came to her.
That she might just be bitten because she just felt like she needed that knife. That nothing else mattered but that stupid fucking knife. Beth brought the bat back a third time, tensing as she flung her hand forward, the handle of the bat going through the walker's skull just as an arrow landed on the side of the head. Its owner only a few yards away from her with the deepest scowl she'd yet to see on his face.
Beth almost cringed, her insides twisting as she closed her eyes to take a deep breath and swallow back the bile that threatened to come out. Throwing up now, in front of Daryl, wouldn't do anything to help her case in his eyes. Would just show him how much weaker she is. How she's not meant for this world.
"What the fuck were you thinkin comin over here?"
Beth gasped, still breathing the air into her lungs as she looked around her. Trying to think of some excuse besides admitting to what was clenched in the palm of her hand. "I was checkin for gas," she said, noting the fuel gage read empty. Daryl snorted, his eyes rolling back as he moved to pull the arrow out of the walker's head. Beth flinched when she noticed the arrow head broken, probably from slamming into her metal bat. She barely found the courage to look up at him as he cursed at the thing and glared at her a second time.
"Hope it was worth it," he muttered, turning away from her. His tone dismissing her in a way that Beth didn't know would hurt so badly. She could feel the weight settling in her stomach as she watched the man walk away from her without another word. Anger boiled up inside of her. The thought that this might be him giving up on her. That he'd written her off as another dead girl.
Shoving her way out of the car, careful to avoid the walker still at her feet, she rushed after him. Once again walking up behind him, shoving him as she said, "fuck you."
He shoved her back, causing her to stumble a bit as he said, "watch it little girl."
"No, you watch it," she shouted, pulling his arm back when he moved to walk away from her again. "You don't get to judge me, Daryl Dixon. You don't get a goddamn say." She backed off, the tears slipping down her face now as she stared at him. His head shaking the entire time as their eyes connected and she could read the disappointment, and just plain pointlessness left in them. Beth body shook, her stomach twisting as she shoved past him, not able to stare at the uncaring look in his eyes anymore.
The others stood outside the door, watching the fighting match taking place at the edge of the property. As she stepped closer, Maggie reached out to her. Whispering something that Beth barely heard as she brushed her sister's hand from her shoulder. Not wanting to hear it at the moment. She looked to Carol, who held her own sense of sadness in her eyes and then to Rick, Lorie, and Carl, just staring on with curiosity like the rest of them as she moved past until she came across what looked to be a back office. The door was open, the room already searched through as she walked in. Slamming the door behind her, she leaned against. The tears already slipping down her face coming out in sobs now. Rocking her body as she curled up into herself, wrapping her arms around her leg like she could hold herself together for even a little while.
Maybe she was weak. Maybe she wouldn't make it past the winter. Didn't give him the right to give up on her. Didn't give any of them the right to give up on her. Just the thought of them doing such a thing made her blood boil. The itching on the inside of her skin returning as she attempted to control her anger. Tried to remind herself that she did have people that cared. Placing her hands flat on the floor, she dragged her nails across the surface. Closing her eyes, and biting her tongue to keep from crying as she felt her nails dig back. When she moved to do it again, her hand brushed across something hard.
The bat loomed before her, almost daring her to do something as she took in her hands. Thinking about how much she hated the man that gave it to her. How she wished he would just leave her alone. How he could have walked away the first time without having to bother her.
Standing, she raised the bat, aiming for the desk with the rows of junk now resting on it. Swinging it out as she watched it all fall onto the floor. Clattering and smashing on the floor as she whirled, shouting, "damn you," while aiming for the small bookshelf with rows of photos still lined. The dust rising into the air the moment they came crashing to the ground. "Damn you all," she shouted a second time as she smashed the bat into the photos on the ground, smashing them into pieces again and again as the words looped through her head. Spilling into the air until she was out of breath, gasping for air as she raised her arms one last time. Bringing the bat down back into the already obliterated photos with a little more force than necessary, causing her to fall over. Her hands going back to stop herself from falling head first and sliding against some of the glass as she let out one more whispered, "damn you."
Sucking in a deep breath, Beth fell back. Her head crunching against the debris as she brought her hand up for inspection. The glass was still embedded in her skin, causing a red line across her palm and a few trickles of blood to leak out.
Funnily enough, she didn't feel the pain like she normally would. Her mind and body already exhausted from outbursts as she laid there, still trying to catch her breath and shut her mind off. The door creaked open, the sound loud against the backdrop of the silence that had engulfed the room and Beth tilted her head back. Half expecting either Hershel or Maggie to be standing in the doorway. Hell, Daryl would have been a more accustomed sight than the older woman with gray hair on top her head. Carol leaned against the doorway, her gaze taking in the destruction left by the girl before she crossed her arms and legs to look at her.
"Feel better?"
Beth frowned at the question, her gaze going to the cut on her palm as she took in the soreness in her arms. Realizing that she wasn't so much numb anymore as she was tired. The itching under her skin gone now that she'd worn herself out. "Surprisingly," she replied, tilting her head back to the look at the woman.
She nodded, stepping into the room, uncaring about the mess as she leaned against the desk. "Daryl tends to do that to a person," she started, looking at the walls and the floor. Anywhere but at the young woman still lying on the pile of glass on the floor. "Irritates you so damn bad, you don't know if you want to slap him or stab him."
Beth mewled over her words, remembering her own moment deciding if she wanted to murder him or walk away. "But he doesn't get that way unless he cares."
Beth stared back at her, meeting the woman's gaze for the first time as her eyes bored into her own before she continued. "He doesn't bother with anyone unless he cares about them. That's just who he is. So, if he's taking his time to worry about you."
Beth looked away, the knot forming in her stomach again as the woman let her words hang in the air. The meaning fully understood by the young girl before her. Beth's mouth went up on one side, a lopsided frown as she ran a finger across the cut on her hand. The pain lancing through her for a moment before Carol stood up, her own hand coming to hang above the girls head. "Come on. Let's get that cleaned up."
Beth stared at it, unable to decide if she wanted to head back out there where the others would notice the aftermath of her rage. If she even wanted to face Daryl's accusing glare at that moment. Narrowing her gaze on the woman's hand, it dawned on her, she didn't have a choice. She could hide away from all of them. Avoid their glares and their pitying eyes as they looked upon the girl that gave up. The girl that wasn't worth their time, or she could face them. Prove to them that they were all wrong. That she wasn't just some damn girl. Be able to say, 'fuck you' in a much different way.
Grabbing Carol's hand, she let the woman help her up. Dusting herself off before following the woman out into the main part of the store, with her bat still in hand before she was motioned toward a counter. Beth jumped up on it, sitting there for a moment before Carol came back with a small first aid kit.
Hershel came forward, shooing Carol off so that he could continue tending to Beth's wound on his own. He took one good look at it, bending her hand this way and that before saying, "not as deep this time"
Beth shook her head, slowly meeting her father's gaze to see that he was smiling. A real genuine smile shining across her face as she replied, "It was an accident, honest. Slipped on some glass." and this time she meant it. She didn't mean to cut her hand, it just happened and she certainly didn't feel any better once the cut had happened.
"I see," he replied, not saying anything else as he bandaged the hand up.
That night when Daryl returned from his impromptu hunting trip, he avoided Beth like the plague. His eyes darting from one spot to another as long as it meant he avoided her glare. Beth wanted to punch him at first. Holler and scream, but she sucked in a deep breath and waited. Watched from the distance as he prepped the food before handing it over to Carol and Lorie, who managed to make up something good with it. Waited as him, Rick and the others talked about what they were going to do. Most of them agreed that this gas station wasn't bad. There was a small apartment upstairs that provided them with some privacy and Lorie found a broom sometime that day. Directly handing it to Beth so that she could clean up her mess as she muttered, "could be used for another room without all that."
Beth's face burned at that. Not realizing that most of the people in the group probably heard her tantrum. Probably thought even less of her now, but Beth decided it wasn't going to bother her. Thought about ways that she was going to give them the big 'fuck you' in response to all their doubts. When it was finished, Glenn and Maggie quickly claimed the spot. Much to the chagrin of her father as the two of them setting up their bedrolls in the farthest corner, behind the desk. Glenn ducked out of sight afterwards, unable to meet their father's glare as Beth smirked at him. Shaking her head the whole time.
"When are you going to let up on him?" Beth asked, whispering to her father over the meal of cooked rabbit.
Hershel smiled down at his youngest. "When the young man is no longer afraid of me."
Beth gave him a smirk of her own, her eyes gleaming as she realized that Glenn might be afraid of their father for the rest of his life. When she looked back up, she noticed Carol taking another bowl out to a lonesome figure sitting on the front porch. Taking watch during the early part of the night, and probably until early morning before he decided to let someone else do it. It's how Daryl was. Always moving, barely sleepings. She wondered how he did it. Where he found all this reserve of energy to keep moving like they were with only a few hours a night. Wished she could be more like him.
Looking toward her food, she swallowed another chunk, not doing well to forget who brought the food for them all this night.
When night took them all and Beth found herself in the corner of the grocery store, listening to people snore around her, she looked back out the door and sure enough, there was Daryl, leaning against the post and looking out to the woods. Watching and waiting.
With a heavy sigh, she sat up trying to figure out a way to apologize to him. The feel of something jamming into her side caught her attention and she pulled out the small metal knife that'd been the source of the all this discord earlier that afternoon. Heaving herself to her feet, she made her way outside. Barely glancing at the others to see if they were all sleeping or not until she stood outside the front door. Daryl heard her. She knew he did with the way his shoulder's stiffened, and he seemed determined not to move his gaze from the distance. Like he been waiting for something like this all day.
Maybe he had been. Lord knew she wasn't keeping her glances a secret. Just couldn't stand the way he was going out of his way to avoid her. Even went as far as asking Carl to hand her, her bag as they all unpacked for the night. Telling him, "give that to Greene."
He wasn't even using her name anymore. Barely acknowledging her, leaving Beth to fume as she thought about him giving up on her. Thought about all the people that'd written her off in the past. Her friends from high school when she stopped accepting their invitations. How they stopped calling, or even bothering. The doctors and therapists that told her parents that there was nothing else to do. "We could institutionalize her, but the hope there isn't much higher."
Giving up on her without actually fighting, and Beth found herself closing her eyes. Taking in a deep breath as she squeezed her hand shut, bringing blood to the surface of the bandages once again before releasing her hand and glaring at her food. Wishing she could murder it a second time.
No, as Beth stood in that doorway, the metal burning a hole in her hand, she knew she couldn't handle another person giving up on her. That looking into the eyes of defeat one more time might just crush her. So she stepped forward and threw the small knife into his lap. Catching him off guard as he flinched for an instant before looking down and taking the small thing in his hand.
"What is this?" he asked, looking back up at her.
Beth shrugged, still unsure of what to say as she met his gaze. Daryl looked back at the knife, flipping it in his hand for a moment before tossing it to the side. He leaned forward on his knees again, not bothering to give her another glance and Beth felt the tears prickling just behind her eyes again. Hating herself for crying so damn much, especially when she just wanted to apologize to the man.
"It was stupid and reckless and..."
Her words were cut off as Daryl looked up at her to say, "and it'll probably happen again, right?"
Beth shook her head. "Not for anything like that." Daryl narrowed his gaze at her and Beth took a step toward him saying, "I promise. I'll leave stupid and reckless for more desirable things."
Daryl smirked at that, his eyes going back to the distance. "Like what?"
"Like..." Beth voice trailed off as she thought about her answer. "Shots of whiskey, when they can be found."
Daryl chuckled at that, an actual chuckle that made Beth grin grow even bigger as the sound enveloped her. She found she liked the sound. Started thinking of other ways to get the sound to come out of the man as she settled in next to him. Her head leaning against the wall behind her as they grew into a comfortable silence. The night breeze cool on her skin.
"I am sorry, Daryl," she muttered, looking at him long and hard. Making sure he could see the sincerity in her gaze.
"Not me you should be apologizing to," he muttered, giving her a brief grin before looking back at the night sky.
"I know," she muttered, falling silent next to him. Her thoughts a jumbled mess as she tried to sort out her feelings. What she was feeling, if she was feeling. One thing stood clear in her mind, and she glanced at the man next to her. A small smile on her face as she said, "still hate you though."
Daryl smirked, his eyes never leaving the forest as he said, "good. Don't ever stop."
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