Hello,
It's me
Anywayyy, here is chapter 5!

Eremophobia- Fear of loneliness, fear of being alone.

Alison sat in her empty classroom, legs crossed while briskly tapping a pen on the surface of her desk; her thoughts were beginning to rapidly consume her whilst attempting to grade papers. Topic of the day: Emily – as always. It had been quite a few days since she had last seen Emily and whenever she would call or text her, their conversations would be cut short. Every time Alison asked Emily what's going on, the brunette would simply dodge the question by making up some excuse that Alison knew was a blatant lie however she never questioned Emily on it – she knew how stubborn her mermaid was. Although it bothered her that Emily was being so quiet and distant, she decided to give the brunette her own space to sort out whatever's going on. Just not too much space, she reminded herself.

It's been hell ever since Emily went silent; she didn't even know what happened to make the brunette fall off the radar. All she knew is that Emily wasn't the same Emily and that worried the blonde greatly. The mere thought of losing the brunette in any way, shape, or form killed her, but she hasn't lost her… right?

Deciding she's had enough, Alison gives it another go and calls Emily, not really sure of what to expect this time but, then again, she knows it'll probably be a one-sided conversation.

The phone rings three times before going to voice mail: "Sorry I can't come to the phone right now. I'm probably busy, but leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can." Her voice, God, her voice, Alison thinks to herself; she's missed hearing that bright, cheery voice. Lost for a moment in her thoughts, she hears her phone ring with the signal that she's received a text from someone. Looking at her screen, she sees a message from Emily:

"Hey sorry I couldn't answer, I'm just really busy right now."

Alison sighed and shook her head. Usually it didn't matter what Emily was be doing – she could be skydiving – and, if Alison called, she would still answer.

Before too many minutes passed, she typed out a reply reading, "It's fine. I just wanted to see what you were up to. That's all."

The blonde missed her mermaid so much and it wasn't just because of the lack of communication. For a while now, she's plastered a fake smile on her face in public. I have to seem happy, she told herself. However, when Emily started diluting their conversations to almost nothing, Alison seemed to become more attached while growing concerned for the whole situation. More recently, she had started acting out towards people and it wasn't good; she's been snapping at people more than usual, no matter how much she tried to remind herself that she's not that Alison anymore. Along with her most recent sharp attitude towards things, she's become detached from her own marriage. One night after a long day at school, Rollins decided to try and heat up their relationship by "trying new things," but when Alison refused, it only left Rollins to wonder what had really gotten into his wife. She didn't want to be held or touched by him; she wanted Emily – she needed Emily. But what was the point of pining after someone who won't even return your calls? She couldn't get that mentality again; it's not healthy and she knows Emily wouldn't leave her like that again. She really wouldn't… right?

Enough is enough, she mentally declares as she pushes away from her desk. She has to see Emily before her anxiety completely takes over her mind. Alison grabs her purse from behind the chair and fishes out her car keys. There's only one place her feet will willingly take her and that's where she's going.

XXXXX

As Alison rushes up the stairs within the complex, her worries begin to spark and she feels as though she'll never reach her destination. Soon enough, she begins to regret making the decision to go over. What if Emily suddenly got tired of her and didn't want to see her anymore? That would make sense as to why she's been avoiding her like the damn plague, dodging her phone calls, and replying with half-assed texts. Her stomach starts to churn as she wonders if Emily has cheated on her. No, she would never do that. She's too kindhearted to do that type of thing. What a hypocritical thought anyway, the blonde mused. If anything, she'll find out for herself when she opens that door.

Alison finally reaches Emily's apartment and hurriedly pulls the key out of her pocket before shoving it into the keyhole. While hastily turning the knob, mental pictures of Emily lying in bed with another girl hits her hard because, well, what if that's what she walks in on? Or worse: they're doing it on the living room floor and that's the first thing she sees. Brace yourself, she thinks as she fully twists the doorknob.

One…two…three...

She slung the door open after what felt like an hour, hoping to prove her mind wrong, however she didn't find anything different. In fact, the apartment seemed untouched. What was set before her was a quiet, dark room lacking the usual faint scent of Emily's perfume.

"Em?" Alison called out. No response. The apartment was completely silent, almost like the outside air after a fresh snowfall. Maybe she's in her room, Alison thought as she shut the door behind her. Walking through the room, she sets her purse down on the coffee table before going down the short hall towards Emily's bedroom. The door's closed and Alison gets hit with that sick feeling in her stomach again. Why the hell is everything so quiet? She opens the bedroom door, expecting the worst, but, again, there's no one in sight and it seems even more silent. The blonde looks around the room, feeling smaller and emptier than before. Emily's essentials are gone, the bed looks like it hasn't been slept in for days, and there are a few shirts lying on top of the covers.

"Where are you, Em?" Alison whispers to herself. She walks over to the closet and turns the light on, noticing that a huge chunk of the brunette's clothes are missing. It looks like Emily just up and left; like she just up and left without telling her; like she just up and left without her. Her hands start to tremble as her bottom lip quivers ever so slightly. Why is Emily doing this? Where is she? Alison takes a deep breath; she doesn't dare let her emotions get the best of her. Not here, at least – not right now. Currently, the most threatening thought is that there's a slight possibility that Emily's left her again. Possibly, for good this time. Quickly, her worries and sadness morph into anger. When she sees that brunette again, she's in for it. Alison storms out of the room, slamming the door shut behind her and, on her way out, she grabs her purse. If there's anyone who knows where the hell Emily is, it's Hanna.

XXXXX

Alison hurriedly jumps out of her car and heads for the stairwell. She swears, if anything kills her today, it'll be these stairs. Though having fewer stairs than Emily's apartment complex, there's still too many. Taking two at a time, she finally makes her way to the other blonde's front door. Immediately, she starts knocking quickly with a heavy hand. Truthfully, she didn't care how hard she was hitting the door. While knocking, her heart sinks a little at the thought of Emily. If it were any other person, she would be belligerent towards the situation but, no, it's Emily and even though she should be angry, she can't help but to be extremely upset. She had waited so long for the brunette to come and sweep her up off of her feet and take her away from everything but, instead, she had left her and never once did she turn back until years later. Years, Alison shook her head. If Emily did leave her again because she was tired of her or worse – she found someone else – she won't know how she should feel. Should she be hurt? Sad? Angry? A combination? Or would she feel nothing because she's been hurt too many times to count by the brunette? She doesn't know if she could feel anything at all, even if she tried. Yeah, she knows she's had her share of fuck ups in the past. More than my share of fuck ups, she looked towards the floor. Alison feels her eyes fill with tears before quickly blinking them away; she doesn't want Hanna knowing how destroyed she is over Emily, and God, does she not want Emily to know. Once she thinks it's no use to knock on the door another time, it finally opens and reveals a very stunned Hanna.

"Alison? What are you doing here?" Hanna inquires, rather confused by the random visit from Alison although she had been partly wondering if she'd show up.

"Can I come in?" Alison asks with a sore throat. Hanna nods, moving to the side and allowing the other blonde to pass through the doorway. Alison enters the medium sized apartment, eyes taking in the classy yet modern style. If there's one thing Alison would admit about Hanna, it's that she has great taste.

"So…" Hanna drags the word out before asking, "What's up?" Alison turns towards her, restraining herself from lashing out; she refused to take her feelings out on anyone else. It was nobody's fault but her own that Emily ran off.

"I need to know what the hell is going on with Emily," Alison's voice shakes slightly. Hanna's soft smile from before drops with her head doing the same.

"I figured you'd be here sooner or later," she confessed. "Em left a few nights ago to visit her mom in Texas." Hanna answers, never meeting Alison's eyes. She feels her heart tearing apart rapidly. So that's why Emily left: to go be with her mother and get out of this town. She didn't even worry about telling me, Alison thinks to herself.

"Ali –" Hanna tries to speak again before being cut off.

"Why did she leave?" Alison's voice trembles.

"I just told you. She went –"

"No. Why did she leave?" Alison asks again and Hanna looks down at the floor, slightly uncomfortable.

"That's not my story tell." Hanna meekly responds when she looks back at the other girl. Alison shakily exhales and looks up towards the ceiling to prevent any tears from tracing down her face. Hanna notices and feels sorry for Alison. She had never seen the other blonde in such a state of sadness and definitely not over another person. She had known that Emily loved Alison but she didn't know Alison was capable of reciprocating that love. Not entirely in a bad way, but in the sense that Emily had so much love to give and Hanna always assumed Alison couldn't return all of it.

"Listen... Em needs this. Whether you think she does or not, she needs it. I don't know if you've noticed, but she's been stressed and I don't mean a little stressed. Looking back, I've never seen her this torn up about something, Alison," Hanna explains, trying not to sound too harsh. "I tried to help but I couldn't. This is something she needs to figure out on her own," Hanna reassures. In response, Alison purses her lips and closes her eyes before looking towards the ground. It's her fault that Emily's been distant towards her. Everything is her fault. Nothing ever goes her way. It's always been like this – and it probably always will be.

"Because of me." Alison gently states rather than asks, her voice breaking mid-sentence. Hanna doesn't respond. In fact, she just looks down and fiddles with her fingers. Emily had officially gotten tired of Alison and her games – same as always. It never fails. She always messes up at some point and it's always been like that. Growing up, she had the worst life a teenager could possibly have and, sadly, she's still living that life however she's much better at hiding it this time. It's not even different; she fucks up just as much. The only slight difference is that she fucks up in adult situations now. She wishes that she didn't hide things – at least not from Emily; the only person who really mattered. Alison had lead herself to believe that their relationship was fine. Maybe not entirely healthy under the circumstances, but she wanted to believe that it was fine. It was the only thing in her life that wasn't based upon lies. What she and Rollins have – had – is just a temporary filler for the dark hole in her heart that was eventually filled by the only person who was meant to fill it. But, she realizes, good things must come to an end at some point, right? They always do. Nothing ever ends well.

"Ali?" Hanna calls her name, breaking her out of every bad thought. With these thoughts breaking down every barrier inside her mind, her emotions start to show and her eyes begin to water more and more. Hanna reaches out to touch her shoulder but Alison backs away; she doesn't want to break down right there – she won't allow herself to. Alison sniffles as she breathes in heavily, shaking her head and plastering another fake smile onto her face.

"I'm fine, Han," she quickly assures. "I should get home. Rollins is probably wondering where I am." Alison shakes her head as she looks around one last time before speed-walking out of the room.

"Alison, wait!" Hanna scrambles after her, catching her by the sleeve and stopping the other blonde before she got too far. In Alison's mind, she's panicking; she has to leave before she falls apart in front of someone who won't be able to put her back together.

"I know things between you and Em are confusing and messed up right now, but just remember…you love her," Hanna reminded with a new kind of support. "I've never seen you look at someone with such genuine eyes until you and Em started seeing each other. Even when you didn't think I knew, I always saw how softer you became when she's with you. I know you love her." Hanna's genuine care for Alison is what makes her fully turn around to face her friend. Hanna gives her a sympathetic smile before brushing a strand of hair out of Alison's eyes.

"And I know she loves you too." Hanna states before smiling again. Alison returns a slight smile but shakes her head in disagreement.

"Then she wouldn't have left me." And with that, before Hanna could react, Alison quickly turns and runs down the stairs before her silent sobs become louder.

XXX

After sitting in front of Hanna's apartment for what felt like hours, Alison decided to head back home; the only place she felt most comfortable – Emily's apartment; the only place she considers to be home now-a-days. Alison trudges up the complex's stairs and walks towards Emily's door in what feels like slow motion, a solemn expression resting on her face. She mentally scolds herself for almost breaking down in front of Hanna. It was like... everything that had anything to do with Emily just broke her into pieces. Pieces of pieces, actually.

Alison pulls the apartment key out of her pocket and slowly plunges it into the doorknob, nearly missing the keyhole initially. She takes a deep breath and turns it ever so slightly, as if she's expecting to walk in on something different this time. Maybe a certain person would be lounging on the sofa watching a movie of some sort. Or maybe she'll be lingering in the small kitchen where she would be trying to cook something but, with her cooking skills, she settles on something microwaveable after cursing a hundred times.

She finally opens the door and enters the dimly lit, empty room, letting a soft sigh escape her lips. The blonde steps into the small space at the entrance of Emily's apartment and shuts the door behind her. She looks around, again finding no trace of her mermaid, and thinks there won't be any trace of the brunette there ever again as long as she's still around. Maybe she's gone for good, the blonde thinks. Alison lets her eyes roam around the entire room, thinking she can relate to the near-bare space. The emptiness of the room feels just like the current emptiness in her heart that's slowly taking over her existence. Her eyes set on the closed door down the hall way – Emily's room – the one that she's spent countless nights in to get away from her worries – to feel at peace – because she craves being embraced by the brunette, to feel the comfort that no other person could ever provide her, to lay in the midst of strong, protective arms, not allowing anyone or anything to snatch her away. The blonde feels a tightening in her chest again and the tears welling in her eyes. Shaking her head, she inhales sharply and heads for the bedroom.

When Alison opens the door, she sees that the bed is made up the same way as earlier, not that she expected it to change. She tosses her purse down beside the brunette's bed while kicking off her heels. Her phone vibrates, causing her to quickly scramble in order to check and see who messaged, only to be let down when she sees a simple spam message from some online sale happening. Sighing, which she seemed to be doing a lot of today, she sets the phone down on the bedside table. The whole day had started to take a toll on her; starting with waking up at five-thirty in the morning to get ready for school and stressing over Emily from the get-go. She swears, if the person putting her through hell wasn't the girl she had loved since she was a young teenager, she would have been done with the whole situation three hours ago. Really, she probably wouldn't have even bothered in the first place. If it wasn't Emily, she would have ignored the whole ordeal and gone home to him. Currently – actually, 90% of the time – the mere thought of Elliot made her want to vomit. His "worrying," as he likes to call it, over Alison for not only her "safety," but the "safety" of their "relationship," stressed her out more than anything. He seems to be more of a father figure than her own dad ever was. He wasn't always that way, however. In fact, if he had been, she would have never even granted him the time of day, much less a date and marriage. Over time, he's morphed into a domestic Dr. Phil. Every time they talk, it's like he's interrogating her; like he's attempting to get inside her mind and unleash all the demons running around.

"How do you feel today?" Rollins asks. He notices his wife's tense body while he slides into the booth's seat across from her. They're at The Grille for what feels like the umpteenth time this week. It was a simple night out on the town. Soft music was playing in the background as they waited for their waiter and the blonde stared out the window next to their table. Alison was tired – more so than usual. Rollins and she had another argument over something so little and, frankly, she still wanted to strangle him – even hours after. He thought they had mended their relationship back together but, needless to say, the countless marriage counseling sessions did nothing for them. If anything, it soured their relationship even more. He was going back to his old habits meaning that everything always ended up with him trying to read her mind. A simple conversation such as discussing the forecast would lead to him asking if everything was okay. He would constantly offer to help her out with whatever's bothering her, even when she insisted she was fine. And that's just it: she really was fine until he tried to extract any and every thought from her mind.

"I'm fine," she answers monotonously. Rollins looks her over, examining her facial expression as if he was actually expecting her to spill her guts.

"I meant mentally, Ali. How are you doing?" He tries again, taking her hand in his and rubbing his thumb ever so gently across the back of her hand. She takes her hand away from his and pretends to cough but, really, she hates the feeling she gets when he rubs his thumb across her hand; it feels forced.

"Like I said... I'm fine." But she's not. She's far from fine. The lack of seeing her mermaid tonight put an even bigger damper on her mood. Instead, she's eating out at the quietest restaurant in town with the guy she despises at the moment: her husband. Ironic, isn't it?

He sits up a little straighter as he responds to her lack of presence in the conversation. "Your tone states differently."

"Elliot –"

"– Alison, please. You can talk to me. I'm your husband. We do these things... communicate, understand, listen, interact... We need this. So please just try. For me?" Rollins adds with hopeful eyes. Alison refrains from rolling her own eyes while he's looking back at her. She knows that, after all this time, appearance isn't what counts – it's the love – but with Rollins, she just can't bring herself to fall back in love with him. She'll always love him but it will never be in the way he wants. He isn't the same man he was back then and, if she's being honest with herself, he was only a cover up for the person she actually loved.

"Maybe if you actually acted more like a husband," she stressed the word, "we wouldn't have these problems." She connects her eyes with his, allowing no hesitation into her voice. His jaw clenches as he tries to keep composed. There's no use in arguing again since it leads to nothing but unwanted stress, exhaustion, and eventual hatred.

"Can we please not do this here?" Alison shoots him a look since he's the one who even started the damn conversation. "I'd love to enjoy this night here with you but that's only if you can do your part as well." Rollins slightly bites back. He's doing it again: trying to control their relationship and take it into his own hands. Same as always. Alison crosses her arms and hugs her body tightly, looking back out the window. Upon seeing her body language, Rollins realizes his mistake and backs away from the table as far as the booth will let him. He moves his hand to his head to massage the temple with his thumb while pushing his pointer finger above his eye; he knows what he's doing and hates it just the same as Alison does.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to –"

"Stop, Elliot. Just stop," Alison interrupts with a wave of her hand.

"Ali, I'm sorry," Rollins apologizes, a deep sincerity in his voice.

Alison chuckles darkly, "As you've said for the millionth time today." Rollins lowers his head in shame and sighs. They've both had a hell of a day but nothing compares to the pain in both of their chests – both for different reasons.

Alison snaps herself back into reality and out of her flashback of a night that ended on a bad note, like most. She shakes her head, suddenly feeling the need to wash away the day and let everything be sucked down the drain. One mess after another, she thinks. The blonde makes her way over to the room's attached bathroom and walks in. She flips the light switch on which illuminates the whole room with a pale yellow-ish tone. After her day, all she wants to do is just relax – nothing more, nothing less. Maybe a few glasses of wine could get her mind off of the brunette that lingered so dangerously in her head.

Alison stepped into the shower after pulling all of her clothes off. The warm water rapidly covered her skin, turning it a light pink against the pale tone of her body. She grabbed for her own shampoo; one of Emily's favorite scents. Damn it. Why does her mind keep wandering off to Emily? She should be livid with the brunette. She should be plotting some type of revenge. But she can't – she just can't. It's breaking her and tearing her to pieces…and she's not so sure that she'll ever be able to be put back together. How could she just up and leave me? How am I so easy to leave? It's like I meant nothing to her. The least I could've gotten was a phone call from her telling me she's taking off. I would've went with her. Where she goes, I follow. The last thought hits her hard and she bursts into hot tears that flow heavily down her face, mixing in with the warm water that rolls over her body. She thought she could bottle everything up; she thought she could but she's too weak, especially when it comes to Emily, who she can't seem to get over – not for the last… how many years? God. Emptiness begins to take over completely whenever she now thinks of Emily. How could one girl make her go so crazy? Alison slams her fist into the wall as she slides down into the tub, curling into a ball and holding her legs close to her chest. Her tears won't stop; her tears will never stop as long as Emily has a hold of her like this. The blonde chokes on her sobs, and now that she's alone, she lets it all out. Because it's healthy, right? You're supposed to do that when things get too hard, right?

She sits in the tub for what feels like forever until she decides to get up and get dressed. Alison steps out of the shower, examining herself in the large mirror that was hung in front of her. She looked like a mess – a mess that was damaged and can only be fixed by one person. She scrunched her nose as she examined her wrinkled fingertips, wondering how long she was in the shower. After drying herself off with a towel, she padded back into Emily's room and over to her closet. Her favorite shirt was still hanging up and she didn't know if that was a good or bad thing. Alison grabbed it off of the hanger and tugged it on over her shoulders, realizing that Emily had probably left it because she didn't want to be reminded of the blonde.

"Why are you doing this?" Alison whispers to herself as she feels a stray tear journey down her face. She tries her best to stop the tears. It somewhat works, surprisingly. The blonde grabs her phone off of the bedside table with a blanket from Emily's bed – her favorite blanket that they've shared many nights before, happily tangled up. The blanket's appearance alone almost forces tears back into her eyes. She finds herself being reminded that Emily left because of her; she's the reason why Emily ran away. But why does she suddenly want to put the blame on Emily? Why does she want to hate her? She wants to but, God, she never could no matter how hard she tried. She could never do it.

Alison pushes herself towards the living room so she won't be reminded of Emily as much. Soon enough, however, she's proven wrong as she sits on the couch and her mind flashes back to that much unexpected visit from Hanna.

"Em." Alison moans as she feels Emily's teeth grazing lightly against her pulse. After hearing the blonde's reaction and internally catching fire, Emily moves her hand and slowly slides it down Alison's side until she reaches the hem of the girl's shirt.

"Please... take it off." Alison struggles to breathe out as she tries to calm herself down a bit. Emily reacts in no time and helps Alison remove the thin shirt, tossing it onto the ground as she leans back in and catches Alison's lips with her own. Emily presses little kisses from her jawline to her ear, loving the feeling of the blonde practically shuddering underneath her touch. She makes her way down Alison's torso, wanting more – needing more.

Out of habit, she looks up towards Alison and sees her eyes closed, pleasure written across her features. Emily gently chews on her lip as she slowly unbuckles Alison's belt, completely loosening it from the denim loops. Wanting to tease the blonde a little more, Emily climbs back up her body tortuously slow, letting the tip of her tongue drag up Alison's stomach. "How bad do you want me?" She whispered seductively into Alison's ear; her warm breath tickling the blonde's skin and sending signals all over her body – in all the right places.

"Emily, please." Alison whimpered in response to the littlest amount of contact.

She'd kill to be like that with Emily again – she needs her and she hates to admit it. Not necessarily in a sexual manner; she just knows that she needs her. The blonde can't function without the brunette. She has experienced being without Emily before and it left her hurt and betrayed. Alison shakes her head. She has to stop being so hung up on the trainer. Anybody who holds the ability to look into her mind would think she's obsessive over the brunette. Maybe that's what love does to you – it makes you feel like you can't breathe without that other person and you're suffocating without them. If only I meant as much to her as she did to me.

Alison sinks further into the couch, grabbing the remote and turning the television on, not that there's anything she's interested in watching right now, anyway. She wonders what the brunette is doing right now. The blonde wants to give her another call but she also wants to wait and see if Emily will be the one to contact her first. The least she could do is let Alison know that she's okay. Or maybe she just doesn't give a damn anymore; maybe she's moved on and is trying to forget it all. And, maybe, Alison doesn't blame her. With Emily's personality and looks, she could have anyone she wants. Not in the conceited way, of course. Alison's always been a little jealous of that; the brunette could go out and have twenty girls fawning over her like they've never seen someone who looked so beautiful. She's a goddess in Alison's eyes – the hair, perfect smile, charm... she has it all and Alison loves that, but she also loves Emily's heart the most; it's practically made out of gold. Admiration, compassion, honesty, and loyalty – that's what their relationship was based upon; something her and Rollins could never achieve again. Only Emily could give her that, and by God, Emily was the only one that she wanted.

Why does life have to be so fucked up? At what point did she fuck up so much to where her relationship turned completely upside down? Her eyes begin to water for the tenth time tonight and soon they're flowing straight down her cheeks. When has she ever cried this much over someone? Since Emily, it's always been her and she swears it always will be.

Her phone chimes with her incoming message tone. She fumbles around in the blanket that she's covered with, finally locating her phone. A part of her hopes that it's Emily and then again she doesn't. Why would the brunette wait so long to get in touch? Looking at the screen and, instead of it being someone she actually was hoping to hear from, it's Rollins. The text read:

"Hey, babe. I'm gonna be out for a little bit tonight. Don't wait up. Love you."

God, he even texts like a dad, she grimaces. Will he ever get the hint that she doesn't care what he does? She's given him plenty of hints that she doesn't care to keep tabs on him, but he just doesn't understand. He sickens her. She's tired of him trying to control her life. If only she had ended things when they hit their rough patch, everything would've been so much easier for her. She would've left to be with Emily and they'd finally be happy. None of this would be happening. But instead she let Rollins persuade her to stay and she decided to give it another go. Rough patches are good, she thought. They can improve relationships, right? Boy, was that the biggest mistake of her life: giving their marriage another chance. But it's her fault that things are this way. She said yes and agreed to attend marriage counseling, thinking it would fix everything. Now, all she wants is to have the brunette all to herself; all she wants is her first real love who, yeah, left her. Too bad she can't have her. Shit. As much as she despises Rollins, he was once good to her and, at one point, she thought she truly loved him but that isn't her anymore. However, she hates doing this to him – he doesn't deserve it. She hates to admit that he deserves better than her but he does; he deserves to be with a woman who truly loves him for who he is and not just because she ran out of options and was blinded by a simple smile. Admittedly, she's a shitty person. Never in her life has she met anyone who treats people the way she does. Only the DiLaurentis family does that and she guesses she'll never grew out of that trait. Why did Emily have to fall in love with her? How did such a sweet, loving, caring girl fall in love with the Devil's daughter? But she can't deny it: she fell in love with that other girl despite their polar opposite personalities. Emily brought out the best in Alison. She made her want to be a better person and, luckily, she did. Aside from the tiny fact that she's cheating on her husband, she likes to think she's changed for the better. How the hell did Emily get this strong of a hold on her? Everyone has always viewed the blonde as a ruthless girl since her teenage years... but Emily? Alison could flash cold daggers towards her mermaid and she'd still smile back. But why? I'm a monster, she thinks.

Alison's anger abruptly turns to heavy sadness as she begins to feel weak. Her emotions have been off the charts today and now it's all finally hitting her; the actuality of everything is hitting her like a freight train. The tears start treading down her cheeks once again and her sobs get louder and louder by the second. She starts choking on her breath as she tries to control herself but fails. Everything is taking a toll on her and now it's finally ripping her apart, starting from the inside. Trying to inhale in order to steady her breathing, she chokes on a sob and is forced into a coughing fit. She never asked for this – none of it. Who would've thought that loving someone was this hard yet felt so good at the same time? She pulls her knees into her chest as she bawls. This time, she doesn't hold back. The sobs come one after another as she nuzzles her way further into the couch. She can't deal with it anymore as she thinks about Emily leaving her. I'm broken too, she cries as her head pounds. Eventually, she gets lost in her crying state and sobs herself to sleep with the one constant thing on her mind: Emily Fields, the girl she'd go to hell and back for.

So who else cried while reading? I think it's interesting to see things from Alison's perspective, finally we get to see what she's thinking and how she's dealing with all of this. There's always two sides to every story, or in this case, three, Rollins, Alison, and Emily. I think it's clear now that Alison has some trust issues with Emily. She left before without saying a word, and she's left again without a trace to wherever she went. Alison's strong, but how much more can she take of this running away stuff? Leave your thoughts in the reviews!

Also, who else enjoyed the finale? I actually thought it was good, aside from all the cheating that went on. Lbr, Ezria was bound to reconnect sooner or later. And Haleb, I just can't get over how Caleb did Spencer in the end. I know it's bound to happen, that all the ships are going to come together, but do they all have to go about it by cheating? Anyway, Emison's moments were quite fascinating in my opinion. It would've been wrong for Emily to kiss Alison in her state of mind that she was in. Okay so I hope y'all enjoyed this as much as we did writing it, it was probably one of my favs so far.

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