Author's Note: Hello loves, we finally are posting this, and I'm sorry for posting this late, I've just been tied up with school work, and I was gonna update last night but then I fell asleep. Anyway, enough with the talking, happy reading!
Chronophobia- Fear of time.
It's an early Saturday morning back in Rosewood, a place she had been dreading to return to. Over the last few days, she tried to formulate various excuses as to why she couldn't come back and what she would tell everyone, but she knew she had to return. She couldn't keep her clients waiting any longer than they already had and after some long talks with her mother, she decided that she would have to face Alison soon and, fuck, she wasn't ready for that one bit.
Emily steers herself in the direction of her apartment and down the hallway. She thinks about how she can finally sleep in her own bed without her mother asking if she needs anything. Being babied by her mother brought back old times – save the feeling of being tormented – but when she tried to tiptoe around the situation of "a friend that was dating someone who was married," her mother instantly went into a ten-hour lecture about how cheating wasn't morally correct, no matter what the case was. I'm surprised she didn't take the time to create a slide show, Emily had mused to herself. However, in the end, she declared that love is love and nothing should get in the way of that. It had helped her somewhat; she wasn't scared of telling Alison how she felt anymore, but she still wanted to postpone the entire talk for a few more weeks. Well, not that she really could, but she can hope, right?
When the brunette finally makes it to her door, she feels the sense of dread coming back; she dreads returning home even though she'll be in the comfort of her own space and have her own time to think things over. But, then again, she's still reminded of the good and bad memories she had prior to leaving. Loving Alison came at a price: she was able to have her during the day but, at night, the blonde was, usually, in the rough arms of a man. The only thing that kept her bound to the blonde was love – pure love – and, if she didn't have much of that, then she would have been long gone.
Sighing, she flips though the keys on her key chain until she finds the correct one to open up her apartment. Eventually, she finally finds the key and sticks into the doorknob. She takes a deep breath and turns the knob, pushing the door open before reaching back down to grab her bag. Home sweet home.
Before entering any further than the doorway, a fresh scent lingers in the air: her favorite perfume that Alison always wore accompanied by the faint smell of her shampoo that Emily fell in love with. She seems to get lost in her senses until her eyes zero in on the body that's laid across her couch. The girl's face is hard to see by all the blonde hair covering her features but she instantly knows it's Alison. Emily didn't expect to see her so soon... or at all, if she's being honest; she pictured Alison ignoring her forever because, well, she did leave without saying goodbye. Shit, she thinks. All she wanted to do was catch up on a little bit of sleep before speaking with the blonde. At least then she could come up with a good explanation. Then again, what exactly would she say? What could she say? Hey, I'm sorry I left you with no warning or goodbye but... how have you been? God damn it. She's not ready for this discussion, she's not ready to see the blonde so soon, and she doesn't think she can handle what the other girl is about to throw at her. If she knows one major fact about Alison, it's that the blonde doesn't hold back on someone when she unleashes all hell on them, especially when they practically drop her out of complete nowhere. I'm probably dead in her mind, she sighs, but why is she even here?
Emily takes a few short, silent steps into the living room, placing her luggage by the door before gently closing it. From where she was standing, the blonde looked peaceful; she was wearing one of Emily's larger shirts which was always one of her favorites that Emily owned, snuggled up in the blanket that they always shared whenever she got the chance to stay over. Not wanting to wake her, Emily slowly shuffles towards the couch, not daring to make a sound, until she's practically standing over her. She kneels down in front of Alison, brushing the hair out of the blonde's face to reveal her features. Her eyes were red, sunken in, and puffy – almost like she had cried herself to sleep the night before. Emily stared at her closely, noting how her nose also had a red tint to it and her soft hands were clutching at the blanket, most likely due to having a nightmare sometime during the night. Probably involving me, she sighs again. Emily backs away slightly, turning around and sitting in front of the couch beside Alison's head, folding her own arms so she can rest for a bit. Sadly, she has a small kink in her neck from sleeping uncomfortably last night, so she turns her head away from Alison in order to get comfier. Instead of resting easily, Emily's mind starts to race again with anxious thoughts. What is she going to do when she wakes up? How is she going to react? Is she done with m–
"Are you happy you were able to leave without saying goodbye?" Alison whispers in a raspy voice, though she wasn't exactly asleep in the first place. Emily shuts her eyes tightly, burrowing her face into her arms even further. Of course she wasn't really sleeping. The brunette turns her head to look at Alison, expecting to see an extremely livid blonde, but there's nothing more than an empty expression settled upon her face – it almost looked like Alison felt betrayed. Did she think that?
"I needed to get away from here for a little bit. I went to visit my mom." Emily mirrors the exact same facial expression as Alison. "I had to leave this town. If not, I would've been even more –" Emily stops talking when she sees the blonde shaking her head as she tries to explain why she left. The brunette lets out a dark chuckle. She's tired of people never letting her explain herself; it's getting old.
"Why won't you listen to me?" Emily's voice cracks in the midst of asking the question. Alison sits up straight, running a hand through her hair. She's pissed and Emily knows it.
"Clearly I'm easy to walk away from." Alison looks at Emily before gathering up the blanket and pushing it into the corner of the couch. The blonde gets up and walks past Emily, ready to gather her things from the night before and leave. She doesn't want to see Emily so soon.
"This has nothing to do with you being easy to walk away from, Alison," Emily replies from where she now stood by the couch. Clearly the response struck a nerve and Emily can tell because, suddenly, the blonde stops in her tracks and quickly turns around.
Moving her hands rapidly in exasperation, she fires back, "I waited to hear from you. At first I thought you were just busy and then I thought something bad had happened. I figured I would hear from you once you found the time or once you wanted to talk to me but, nope, nothing," she finishes with an exaggerated shrug. Emily purses her lips; she doesn't want to fight. She's tired of it.
"I just told you... I needed to get away for a bit so I went to see my m–" Emily almost starts to ramble before being cut off by Alison who lets out a frustrated half screech-half groan to stop the other girl from repeating herself.
"I'm not talking about this week, Emily!" She's ready to pull her hair out. Emily tilts her head to the side, finally realizing what Alison is talking about. Suddenly she's not liking the topic at all – not that she really liked it to begin with. The brunette shakes her head angrily and looks towards the door. If only I had come back tomorrow. Alison's blue eyes pierce right through Emily while she looks anywhere but back at the blonde.
"You left me," emphasizing every word, she angrily whispers, "like I was nothing to you." At that, Emily snaps her head back towards Alison with new-found disbelief.
"Are you kidding me?! You broke my fucking heart, Alison!"
"And you broke mine," the pissed off blonde fires back. "Why didn't you stay? You say it was because of what happened but I could have helped you!"
"I had to leave," Emily nearly shouts. "I kept coming back to you for years. Almost like a sick puppy," Emily gives herself a disgusted look before looking back at Alison. "I had to leave, Alison. I needed to recollect myself because I was a complete disaster once everything was said and done." The brunette lets out a chuckle before continuing, "And you didn't want me like I wanted you so there was no reason for me to stay in Rosewood." Before Emily could even finish her sentence, Alison was moving towards her, inches away from her face with a ferocity that Emily has never seen directed towards her.
"You're right," the blonde states curtly with a verbal bite. "I didn't just want you. I fucking needed you. I needed you and you left because… why?" She pauses. "Because you didn't have the patience to wait around until I realized it," she finishes, daring Emily to deny it. When the brunette slightly glares at her while shifting her jaw, Alison continues with a softer yet still serious tone, "I needed you then, and I still need you."
Emily's eyes begin to water at the confession. In return, Alison notices Emily's teary eyes and wipes away the tears while still wearing a rough expression. As the blonde begins to brush the tears from Emily's cheeks, the brunette begins to break more, eventually breaking Alison in the process and forcing her to pull Emily down to the floor in order to hold her. When Emily allows herself to cry, Alison wraps her arms tightly around the other girl, her own tears falling in the process. Emily lifts her head to look at Alison and is stunned to see the blonde crying as well, but she hides her shock and returns the favor of wiping her tears.
"Even though I left to get away from everything, I couldn't leave it all behind as much as I thought I could," she admits. Everything always seemed to lead back to Alison; whatever crossed her mind, she would incorporate the blonde into the mix. While she didn't want to have the other girl on her mind, she couldn't help but to want her there at the same time. Leaving Alison behind had torn her to pieces. She didn't think she could do it but she did and, maybe this time, their relationship can become a little stronger.
"What does that mean for us?" Alison asks in a quiet voice, afraid to know the answer, but she knows she needs one or it will endlessly eat away at her. Truthfully, Emily is shocked by the fact that Alison would even ask that question. She knows that the blonde cares and loves her, but Alison's voice holds an emotion much deeper than she ever really knew existed. After a few seconds, Emily looks at her, realizing that she's broken just as much as the blonde is and the mere thought of their relationship coming to an end kills her.
"I don't– I don't know," Emily speaks in a low voice. Alison inhales as she looks up towards the ceiling, silently praying to any – and every – person in higher power to please give her this chance to make things right. Her life is already fucked up enough as it is – she can't lose Emily too.
"Can I ask you something?" Alison inquires in a rough voice. It kills Emily to know that the girl that she's always loved sounds so hoarse due to her actions. She doesn't trust her own voice, so she settles for a nod.
Alison takes it as a signal to keep going, "Am I the reason you're broken so badly?" Emily hears the hurt in Alison's voice and immediately pulls away to take her hands in her own, gently caressing them.
"No, you're the reason I don't mind being broken so badly," Emily honestly replies. She watches the blonde's eyes tear up once again.
"I'm so, so sorry for this, Em," Alison apologizes.
Emily shakes her head, "No, please. Please, don't apologize." Alison pulls her bottom lip in between her teeth to stop it from quivering.
"I just want to be able to get up one day and… leave. With you by my side," Alison confesses through her tears. "I was so close to leaving him before," she continues with a hint of anger. "I wish I would've cut all ties with him but people said we looked happy. They were proud that we worked through our rough patch... but not me. I wasn't," Alison pauses to catch her breath. "I just want to be able to come home to you," her voice ends in a mere whisper. Emily finally understands things between them now. Though it's still a little hard, she thinks they can work through it – even with Rollins in the picture, as much as she hates to admit it. She finally sees the sincerity in Alison after she had doubted her for so long and, really, she feels bad for it. Alison has been genuine towards her yet the brunette has been so blind to everything that she never realized what she really has.
Emily looks up at Alison who is looking down at her. "I want to make this right, if you'll let me," Emily says, leaning up and placing a soft kiss on Alison's nose.
"Me too," Alison softly responds with a smile gracing her face. The brunette gently chews on her bottom lip before, once again, leaning up and pressing a kiss to Alison's lips. Soon enough, Alison kisses her back as it turns more passionate and Emily slips her arm around Alison's back. Eventually, the blonde lets out a grunt and pulls away; she doesn't want to go too fast, which sounds crazy since they've been there many times. Emily retracts as well, returning to her original position.
"What do we do?" Alison questions while fiddling with her fingers. Emily sighs. What the hell can they do?
"What do you want to do?" Emily pointedly asks.
"I want things to go back to normal between us. I don't want to keep fighting," Alison admits in a regretful voice. Emily smiles back at the blonde; she wants the same and she'd go to hell and back to get it.
"I do too," she grins and looks down towards her hands.
"Where do we even start?" The blonde asks in a now stressed tone.
"Well," Emily drags out, "We could start off by telling the other girls," she finishes by grabbing Alison's hand in reassurance, expecting her to be put off by the idea.
"I could talk to someone about getting a divorce," Alison adds. They both want each other so bad it hurts, but they also have to change a few things before reaching their goal. If Alison really wants to give her all to Emily and completely prove her love, she has to change her ways. It won't be easy but she knows, with Emily by her side, she can accomplish it.
"It's your choice, Ali," Emily assures her, but why wouldn't Emily be dead set on getting rid of Elliot once and for all?
"Em, you have a say in this too. What do you think?" Alison replies. Emily can be rather silent when it comes to important things, especially regarding Elliot, otherwise she'd probably say what's on her mind, which isn't exactly all that great in certain situations.
"Alison, I'm not going to convince you to do anything. I think that you should do whatever makes you happy. Not me. You deserve to have a little bit of happiness in your life. Don't you think?" Emily ends with a genuine smile. The brunette means it; she wants what's best for Alison and, if that meant the blonde would leave her for some other person, then so be it. It just means that she was never able to give Alison what she wanted.
"Me? Deserving something? What a foreign concept," Alison chuckles wryly at Emily's words.
"I mean it, Ali. You deserve what's best and I'll try my hardest to give that to you, but only if you try just as hard," Emily takes Alison's hand in her's.
"I think we can work something out then." A smile tugs on the corner of her lips, quickly turning into a full blown smile.
XXX
The pair ends up in Emily's room, laying under the blanket that Alison had slept under the previous night. It was nothing more than just basking in each other's presence, remembering what really mattered to the two: love.
Some old black and white movie was playing on Emily's television. The blonde's curled up against Emily's side, both loving the warmth they're sharing. As soon as they had hopped into bed, Emily could smell the faint hint of Alison's perfume on the sheets but didn't say anything; she wanted to enjoy the rest of the day, peacefully.
"Can we stay like this forever?" Alison whispered as she felt herself slowly drifting in and out of sleep. Emily smiled to herself. She'll always love these kind of days and silently vows that they'll have more to experience in due time.
"Whatever you want, babe," Emily kept her voice down at the same level as the blonde's, thinking that any pitch higher would disrupt the moment.
"This. This is what I want." Alison turns her head and faces Emily, still speaking in a hushed tone. Emily can't help but to smile at the blonde's words before slightly leaning down to press a slow, soft kiss on Alison's lips. She wants more, but she also wants to take it slow for a bit.
Alison hums as she pecks a short kiss on Emily's nose followed by returning back to her spot against the brunette's side. Emily responds by draping her arm over Alison's body, wanting this moment to last forever as well.
"Was last night the only time you stayed here?" Emily asks after a few moments of silence. She just can't shake the thought of Alison being here as soon as she walked in and the faint scent of the blonde that still lingers on her sheets makes her question it.
Alison's sighs, "Yes." She had been expecting the question.
"Why didn't you go home instead of coming here?" Emily wonders as she looks down towards the other girl.
"Because... you are my home," Alison admits and Emily finally knows that they're going to work out; they have to.
Author's Note: Well how did you guys like this update? This is another one of my favs so far, and I hope it was one of yours. I think it's healthy that Alison has finally told Emily how she feels. Now what happens next ;) you'll have to wait for that. Hope you guys enjoyed it!
Now to respond to you guys:
Drea82581- Thank you so much! Your reviews are always amazing, so thanks again. Believe me, I shed a few tears when Alyssa sent me the outline lmao. Regarding the finale, omg I wasn't expecting that reveal with Elliot and Mary. I always was kind of cautious towards him, but damn I didn't expect it haha. As for the Emison moments, I personally loved them. I went in with low expectations, and was actually surprised by how much we got. I wasn't expecting them to kiss or anything, as you said, it would've been wrong of Emily. Anyway, I loved the finale so much, it definitely pulled me in for season 7.
Leapyearbaby29- I think after this chapter you'll see how much they actually care about each other, they did before, but you actually get to see the more genuine side of them soon. Emily is that person that will fight to protect Alison, just like Alison is towards her, regardless of them being in a relationship. Next chapter, you'll see more of their newfound love for each other which you will all love. I hope this chapter answered your questions love .
Fallink99- After this chapter, I think you'll take notice to how things change between them. Not just physically but mentally as well. And yes lol, Alison and Emily started seeing each other after she stopped marriage counseling. If you've read AVHW, you can kind of see that Rollins and Alison has problems between each other, Rollins tries to control Alison by what she can wear in the first chapter, causing them to get in an argument, and then him leaving. Everything started happening after the counseling because Alison realized that it didn't work for one, and Elliot just wasn't the one for her. And yeah, Alison admitting that she's doing Elliot wrong was a big step for her in more ways than one. And with the finale, omg I was so happy about the reveal, I'm just wondering how Alison is gonna take it. Personally, I hope Emily realizes it first and tells Alison about it, but Alison doesn't believe her and maybe (to get things rolling because who doesn't like a little drama ;) ) she tells Emily she's just jealous. Causing Emily to set out on her own search for answers, kind of like how she did in the books, but not pretend to be dead lol.
Again thanks to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and followed! It means so much to us!
Also, before I forget, the divorce will be something coming up in the next few chapters. I know y'all keep asking about it, but I promise it will be a thing soon enough.