Author's Note: First, I know it has been a long time. Things have been really crazy, but that is no excuse and I am sorry. I also struggled a little with this chapter, partially because I have never taken care of a drunk person and I do not really know that protocol. I used these websites for tips.

goaskaliccolumbiaedu/how-should-i-help-my-drunk-friend

wikihow/Take-Care-of-a-Drunk-Person

ehow/how_2078453_

ehow/how_6812141_

I know, lame, but I really have never done it, and I wanted it to be accurate. You would not want to see some of my first attempts. Other than that, this was a fun chapter to write, and there is one part in particular that I think will make Zade fans very happy. I won't say what though; you have to read it. I considered making it longer, because not a lot happens, but I think it sort of works the way it is, even though it is fairly short. Feel free to let me know if you disagree.

Thank you all for your reviews. You guys are awesome.

Enjoy.

Chapter Nine

"Thank god." It was all she said when she opened the door, but it was more than enough.

"Glad to see me I take it?" Wade asked, smirk in place and words dripping with arrogance.

Zoe disregarded the comment. She did not have time to get into it with him right now. She left the door open and he followed her inside, "I have no clue what I'm doing."

"Well, lucky for you, I've doctored a fair share of drunk women." Plus my dad, he added silently. He had no intention of bringing that up again. Besides, for all he knew, Lemon was within hearing distance.

"Why do I have a feeling you are also the one who got them drunk?" she said in that condescending tone of hers.

Wade put his hand on his heart, "I'm wounded."

"Did you come to help me, or joke around?"

"Relax." He held a bag out to her.

"What-?"

"I like to call it the drunk-kit. Got everything you need in here to deal with somebody who can't handle their liquor. Bucket, mouthwash, water bottles … not to mention aspirin for the morning after."

"Okay, well, that's great, but what about right now? Lemon isn't throwing up or hung over. She is, however, behaving insanely."

"I've dealt with that too. And didn't you say you want to be a doctor? Shouldn't you know this sort of stuff anyway?"

"I want to be a doctor, not an AA specialist."

"You just don't like admitting there's somethin' you don't know." Wade said, laughing and shaking his head, "Where's the patient?"

"She's not a … come on."

"Lemon? You there? It's Wade." He finally saw her curled up in fetal position by a dresser, crying and wailing hysterically. Slowly, cautiously, he approached her. "Lemon?" he asked quietly.

She looked up at him, her eyes like those of a scared child. It hurt. He did not like seeing her like that. Still, he got it. He knew what she had been going through lately, and people have gotten drunk for less.

"Hey." He said gently. He sat down in front of her, "How you doin'?"

"I'm … I …"

"Sh. It's okay." Wade reached out to stroke Lemon's arm comfortingly. She pulled it away.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Well, I was-"

"It was rhetorical." She stood up, surprising Wade and shoving him backward slightly, "I don't want your dirty little playboy hands on me, and I don't need your help neither. This is supposed to be a girls night, so put on a dress, or leave." Her tone was very hostile and direct. Impressive for a drunk girl.

"Well, I have always wondered what it would feel like to parade around in one of those frilly things." He said, attempting humor. It seemed to work. Lemon burst out laughing so loudly that it scared Zoe shitless, "Come on, dance with me." she grabbed Wade's hand and pulled him up, "Zoe turn the music back on."

"We never actually turned it off." Zoe said slowly.

"Well, all the better."

Zoe looked a Wade, her eyes wide with panic. It was kind of cute. No! Not cute! He told himself. He didn't think of girls as cute. Sexy, yes, hot, sure, but not cute. Never cute.

"Dancin's better than some stuff she could be doin'." Wade said, trying to be loud enough for Zoe to hear, but too quiet for Lemon to hear. It was hard, because he was actually standing closer to Lemon, but Lemon was drunk and not really listening.

He let Lemon dance around with him a little, being careful to keep her steady. She really should not be moving around this much, or at all really, but he knew that if he did not indulge her a little, he risked losing control completely. It was something he had learned from Earl; sometimes, when a person is drunk, you need to humor them.

Zoe looked on disapprovingly. He liked the look on her face when she disapproved of something, so he smirked at her, and just like he hoped, she let out an annoyed huff.

"We're supposed to be havin' fun. Come on Zoe, come dance."

"I don't really think-" but Lemon was already coming over. She pulled her over and started dancing with her.

"Girls dancin' together. I like this party."

"Shut up." Lemon said, through drunk laughter.

"Lemon, I really think you should sit back down. Maybe get a drink of water."

Lemon stopped dancing and started to pout, "Why don't you want me to dance? Are you not having a good time?"

"She's having a great time." Wade said, before Zoe could respond. She had been right; she really didn't know what she was doing. She clearly had no experience with the drunk. "Aren't you?" He gave Zoe a meaningful look, and she nodded, "See, all's fine and fun. Nothin' to worry about. In fact, I think we should make this party a little more fun." Wade took out a flask, causing Zoe's eyes to widen. She gave him a look that clearly screamed 'Are you crazy?' He responded with a look that he hoped said, 'trust me.' He took a sip, and then handed it to Zoe. She smelt it, and then looked at him confused. He motioned for her to drink, and she obliged, passing the drink to Lemon who gulped basically the whole thing down.

"What was that? It tastes strange."

"Secret mix, sorry Lemon." In fact, the flask had only contained water, but Wade knew that at this point, Lemon would be unable to tell the difference. She might recognize it was different, but she would never see it for what it was. Hydration was extremely important, and the more water Wade could get Lemon to keep down the better. Of course, she should not be guzzling it, sipping would be better, but you had to work with what you had.

Zoe breathed a sigh of relief, "Well, that was an adventure."

"Yeah, easy for you to say. I did all the work."

They were in Lemon's room. After getting her to down some water, Wade had worked on getting her to lie down. Once she was down, he had carried her to her bed and placed her on her side, leaving a bucket on the floor next to her. Now, they were just sitting in the dark, watching her sleep.

"So, what do we do now?"

Wade sighed, "We watch her."

"Watch her?"

"Yes, watch her. And don't say it like that; I'm not suggesting stalkin'. Fact is, if we leave her alone she could choke on her own vomit. Plus, if we ain't here to monitor her breathin', an' it goes down, whose gonna know to rush her to the hospital?" She was looking at him, clearly impressed, and he was getting a sort of warm feeling in his heart that he tried to ignore. "You should probably be taking notes." He said with a smirk.

She rolled her eyes, "How do you know to do all this anyway?"

"I told you, I've known a lot of drunk girls."

She looked at him skeptically, "So, how many nights have you had to spend like this with him?" she asked it quietly, gently.

Wade shrugged, pretending not to care, "A few. I don't know. I never counted or anything."

She nodded, "How long did it take you to develop this … system?"

He shrugged again, "You just pick stuff up after a while." He poked Lemon's shoulder and she swatted at him. Zoe looked at him questioningly, "You gotta check to make sure she responds to stuff."

"So, we have to stay up and watch her all night?"

Wade shook his head, "Nope. I have to stay up and watch her all night. You head off to bed. I'm used to this, and you need you're beauty sleep; be a shame to sacrifice your biggest asset."

She scowled at him, and he could not help but chuckle a little.

She half-smiled and shook her head, a look he took to mean, 'how ridiculous.'

"We could do it in shifts. No reason you should have to stay up all night."

" 'Preciate the offer, but you don't know what you're doin'." Then he gave her a cocky grin, "You'd be lost if I wasn't here."

She rolled her eyes, "I'm a quick study, and I've been watching you handle it."

"You been watchin' me huh? Like what you see?"

"Not particularly."

"Liar."

"So not even the topic." She paused and took a deep breath, "Look, I've seen how you've been handling stuff, and I've listened to what you've said. I have to keep an eye on her breathing and poke her ever so often to make sure she responds, right?"

"You also gotta make sure she stays on her side. Stomach or back make it easier for her to choke on her vomit. And what if she wakes up and has to vomit? You know how to handle that?"

"Buy mouthwash from the Dixie Stop?" she said sarcastically.

Wade laughed. He couldn't help it, "Yeah, you uh, you never paid me back for that by the way."

She smiled at him, "Go get some rest Wade. I'll wake you in a couple hours to take over, or if I need you for something-" he raised an eyebrow at her, "something that has to do with taking care of Lemon."

He nodded and lifted himself off the chair with his arms, "All right. I guess if you want to play doctor, it ain't up to me to stop you."

Zoe could not figure Wade out, which, for a girl who liked to know all the answers, was pretty damn frustrating. She could not believe he stayed up all night some nights to watch his father incase something happened. When did he sleep? It seemed like a pretty, well, selfless thing to do. She hated to use that word to describe him, but there was no other word that fit.

She tried to think what it would be like for her. Would she have done something like that for her parents? Her mom was something of a drinker, but there was always somebody else to take care of her messes; the advantage of coming from money. It was an advantage, Zoe realized, that Wade did not have. With his hand-me-down looking shirts, his moving junkyard that he called a truck, his father, the single parent who, based on how Wade had described him, she doubted could hold down a job. Wade was poor. Well, not poor-poor, like children starving in third world countries poor, but he wasn't going to be buying any designer clothes any time soon. She had never really thought about that sort of thing before. Of course, she had never really associated with people from a different class before. It was not that she was a snob; it was just she had never really been exposed to poorer people. She went to a private school that, excepting for a few scholarship students, was full of people from the same class as her. Outside of school, there were relatives, and children of people her mother knew, and some adults her dad worked with. Her life, up until a few months ago, had been very sheltered. Now, she was being exposed to everything; drunk friends, Casanovas, people of lesser means, etc. It was strange.

She heard footsteps, and turned around.

"You're supposed to be sleeping. It hasn't even been an hour yet."

"Well, when you were makin' you're little plan, you forgot one small, but extremely important thing." She looked at him questioningly, and he held up an infant wrapped in a blanket. Oops. "We can still do shifts if you like, but either way, somebody's gotta watch both of them, and it shouldn't be the same person."

"Why not?"

"Well, first off, Magnolia starts wailin' and wakes Lemon, it won't be good. Second, both require undivided attention. You don't want to neglect one for the other."

Zoe nodded, "Listen, I'm gonna find where they keep her food, and since we're both up, I'll see if I can find somethin' for us to nibble on. You got any preferences, allergies?"

"I'm okay. I mean, I'm not really used to southern cuisine yet, but I'll get there."

Wade went to the kitchen and searched through the cabinets, keeping one eye on Magnolia. He had put her in a highchair, and secured her in, putting her little legs in the leg holes and locking her in with the tray. She was so tiny. He loved her, she was Lemon's little sister, but for the most part, the whole baby's thing terrified him. Taking care of Earl was hard enough, but looking at Magnolia, how tiny and fragile she was; it would be so easy to just break her. How do you live with that kind of pressure?

He found a can of strained pees, a loaf of sliced bread, and a jar of peanut butter. Then he got a spoon, a plastic knife, and a couple paper plates.

He looked over at Magnolia. She fidgeted a little, but she seemed basically okay. She seemed secure anyway, and it would only take him a minute to take the food in to Zoe.

When he walked back in to Lemon's room, he saw Zoe sitting there watching Lemon sleep. She looked sexy as hell, just sitting there, lost in thought.

He put the stuff down and sat down across from her, "How's the patient Doc?"

She smirked, "She seems fine."

"When'd you last poke her?"

"Just a couple minutes ago; after you came in with Magnolia." Wade nodded, "She looks so peaceful, like she knows somehow that people are here to look after her and she's gonna be okay."

She turned to him, and she was giving him a strange look. It was a look she had never given him before. He did not know what it meant, and it made him a little uncomfortable. Still, for some reason, a small part of him liked it, "My, um, my mother used to drink all the time, mostly when she threw parties. She was a big socialite." She looked away from him and made a noise that probably indicated suppressing a sob. He hoped they weren't going to talk about her parents. He was not good with that sort of thing.

She turned her face back to him. The look was still there, except one of her cheeks was slightly tearstained. Wade pretended not to notice, "All those years, it never would have occurred to me to stay up with her." Okay, now he had no clue where she was going, "I'll deny it if you ever tell anybody I said this but, the fact that you do that for him … I think that's kind of amazing."

Okay. Wow. He had not expected that. Did she really just say that? Did she just give him a compliment? He had no clue how to react to that. He was tired, it was late, and he had not expected something anywhere in that region to come out of her mouth. Nobody had ever said anything like that to him, not even Lemon or George. Of course, they did not know about his father, but still.

She was looking at him with her huge brown anime eyes. He figured she was waiting for him to say something.

"Uh," he tried. His mouth was not working. He just couldn't come up with anything. I mean, what do you say to that? "I should get to openin' this."

Her face scrunched up in confusion. He stood up and held up the strained pees, "You, uh, you got your food, and seems you got everything under control in here. I need to get back out to Magnolia, else there's no point in us both stayin' up."

He headed for the door. She blinked and turned to face him, her faced still etched with confusion, "What?"

"I got to feed her. Not that I'm lookin' forward to it or anything. I'm not really one for baby's, and feedin' her just means I might have to change her later."

"Wade-"

"See you in the mornin'."

He left the room and headed over to Magnolia who was sitting impatiently in her little highchair, "Here ya go kid." He said as he started to feed her. He kept trying to make sense of what happened. Nothing but sex and sleeping should ever happen in a bedroom; everything else is just too confusing.

She said he was amazing. No, wait, she said what he did was amazing; not the same thing. He had to keep his facts straight. Still, coming for her, that meant a lot. Or did it? What had she meant exactly? And why had she said it? Was it out of pity? Gratitude for bailing her out tonight? Was it just a part of her figuring out stuff about her parents? The whole thing made his head hurt.

Bright light. Really bright light. It was the first thing Lemon saw, and it was far from a pleasant sight. She blinked a couple of times. God, what happened last night? She felt like her head was about to explode. She remembered getting a call from Zoe, and music, and alcohol. After that, nothing. It was not that hard to figure out what happened though.

She felt slightly ashamed; she needed to learn how to handle her liquor better.

There was a gentle tap on the door, "You two up?" she heard a voice whisper. Well, she assumed it was a whisper, but it sounded like it was said with a megaphone. She knew the voice; it was Wade. Wait, why was Wade at her house? Oh lord, even drunk, she would never be that stupid, would she?

"Wade?" she asked blinking, trying to block out the light. It was Wade all right, just standing there in her door way. He came in, stopping briefly at her desk chair.

"Ow!" She squinted, and saw Zoe Hart had been sitting there, her head on the desk, and her hair splayed out in a completely disheveled mess. "That hurt!"

"You fell asleep." She heard Wade say in his matter-of-fact voice.

"I was tired. It was after, like, five a.m."

"Lemon still could have choked or stopped breathing. You cannot risk falling asleep when you are on drunkard duty."

"Hey!" Lemon said, coming back to herself. She was starting to understand what was going on.

"Well, I guess I lack your discipline in this area."

"Sweetheart, you lack a lot of things I got."

"Like what, snarky comments and rude behavior first thing in the morning?"

Wade chuckled.

"Lemon?"

They all turned, "Oh lord. That's daddy."

"Yeah, I know what Doc Breeland sounds like."

Lemon rolled her eyes at Wade's comment, but then started to panic. "He can't see me like this. He can't know that I -"

"It'll be okay. I'll handle it. Wade, you stay here, and try not to do anything stupid."

"Do my darnedest."

Author's Note: All right. This one will not be particularly long, partially because I do not have as much to say, and partially because it is almost five in the morning. Don't judge me.

First off, I have been dying for an excuse to have Wade call Zoe doc, but I could not find a way for it to make sense. I am so glad I finally was able to.

I actually do not think I have anything else to say about this chapter except that it was fun to write and I hope you like it.

Have a good day.