Lost in Progression

by Delacruz00

Sequel to "A Very Heated Winter" Going through the many effects and events resulting from Emily and Alison's decision to rekindle an old flame-a flame that never died out to begin with.

9. Chapter 9

First things first, I want to apologize for the 10 years it's taken me to finish this and get it uploaded. I swear it feels like we update once every blue moon now. I know how aggravating it can be when someone updates once every other month or basically whenever they feel like it. So, I have some good news for you guys, I am starting school back in a few weeks (not ready but that's not the point lol), and for some odd reason, I've found that I have more time to write then? Weird I know lol. Anyway, next week will be a little harder for me to find the time to write because I'm going to visit family out of town, but don't worry, I will pick back up as soon as I get home. Hopefully, we'll be posting another chapter before Aug, no promises though. All in all, I hope you enjoy this much anticipated chapter of "are they gonna get caught?" or "will they wake up in time?" It's a good chapter imo, so enjoy :)

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Atelophobia - Fear of not being good enough, fear of imperfection.

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The sunlight that shines through the window casts upon the two that lay still in bed. Emily, however, begins to stir, seeing as she's too used to waking up with the early birds - and sometimes even before. Slowly, she opens her eyes to see nothing but blonde hair in front of her, blocking the view of the window. Smiling to herself, she leans forward and places a kiss to the back of the girl's neck, the area being another one of Alison's sweet spots that she had found a time before. She pulls the blonde closer and hugs her tight, realizing that she had been holding Alison in her arms since last night.

Last night?

Last night!

It hits her all at once; they must have forgotten to go back downstairs before anyone woke up, and they must've fallen asleep right after they…

"Ali," the brunette kind-heartedly hisses. "I know you love your sleep, but we need to go back downstairs before somebody comes in. Now." She begins to rock the other girl's sleeping body until she gets an annoyed groan as a response.

"Alison, let's go," Emily's voice becomes more stern as the blonde does nothing but react in irritated grunts. Alison knows Emily is serious, especially when she uses her full name, but it is Sunday and she usually sleeps in on weekends.

"Just give me a sec-"

"Hey, Ali. I was just going to go get us some coffee. Did Em lea-" As Aria finishes typing another text to Emily, she looks up from her phone to see something she wasn't exactly expecting - ever. There's a panicked look on both of the girl's faces, who are also sitting up in bed with a thin sheet placed over what Aria assumes to be nothing but bare skin - though it's not like she wants to assume but it's a damn good guess.

"Holy crap," Aria whispers to herself as she looks at the two girls in front of her. Emily pulls the sheet towards her body even more, attempting to shield what little dignity she had left. Alison begins to scramble for her scattered clothes as she also tries to keep the sheet covering her naked body, but, due to Emily having a death grip on it, Aria has already seen much more of Alison in the span of five seconds than she ever had in the years they've known each other. Looking around, the blonde realizes that none of her clothes are actually anywhere near the bed; something Emily's great at doing is, indeed, tossing her belongings ten feet away from where they ended up with their activities.

"Emily, why the hell did you throw my clothes over by the window?" Alison whispers loudly as her eyes widen.

"I don't think now is the time for questioning why your sweater is hanging from the curtains," Emily whispers back, a challenging expression; she told Alison to wake up, and look what happened when she didn't listen. Aria stands still as she watches the interaction between the two girls, also taking notice to the two's attitudes. There's no way it was their first time doing this together, she mentally points out. Knowing Emily, had this been their first time in recent years, the brunette would've been long gone by now, or she would have ended up in a yelling match with Alison, or both. How many times have they ended up sharing more than just a bed, Aria wonders.

"Shit," the short brunette mutters to herself as she watches the situation in front of her quickly unfold - but not quick enough, for any of them. She turns around and silently closes the door with her inside, careful not to cause too much noise or dramatics since they probably don't want an even bigger audience made up of Spencer and Hanna.

"Please," Aria pleads as she faces the door, "at least put shirts on, you two."

Emily spots her tank top draped over the dresser's mirror and, as she moves to get it, Alison snatches it first.

"Really?" she mouths with a pissed off expression. Alison pokes her tongue out as she throws the black top on over her head. Emily looks around and sees Alison's sweater still hanging from the curtain, and in any other situation, she would be laughing, but since the two had been caught again, she decides it would be better to keep quiet on this one. Scrambling over towards the window, she grabs it and pulls it on. They resume their positions back on the bed, covering their lower halves with the the thin, white sheet.

"Why doesn't anyone knock anymore?" Emily groans, tilting her head back into the headboard.

"Okay, you can turn around now," Alison mentions to Aria with a blush covering her face. Slowly, the small brunette turns around, hoping that what she walked in on was nothing more than a drunk night and the girls just decided to sleep naked… together. Who is she kidding? It's Alison and Emily.

Clearing her throat, her eyes wander around the room, attempting to focus anywhere but on the two girls timidly sitting on the bed; she doesn't really know what to say.

"Well, I definitely didn't expect to walk in on this," she gestures towards the two with a wave of her hand. Emily wishes that the bed would just swallow her whole since she's been in this position already and she doesn't want to go through it again. At least it was Aria and not Spencer, she thinks. As the two stay quiet, Aria continues on with the reason for her intrusion.

"So, um, I was taking coffee orders and I didn't see either of you guys downstairs," she speaks thoroughly. "I figured you went home, Em," she says before looking towards Alison for a split second, "and I thought you must've come up here to sleep instead of bunking on the couch with us." Alison purses her lips as Aria concentrates on not looking towards the bed.

"Spencer and Hanna said they hadn't seen you two since last night before they passed out, so I offered to go looking for you guys. Glad it was me and not them," Aria whispers the last part to herself as she finally meets the couple's gaze. There's an awkward silence between the three once Aria stopped speaking, adding to the already-awkward tension due to the fact that they're still half naked.

"We -" Emily stops and sighs, "We were trying to find a good time to tell everyone separately, but we never found the best time." She fixes her eyes onto her now very interesting fingers.

"I was going to tell you when we went out later, but… I guess you beat me to it," Alison awkwardly chuckles, still avoiding the tiny brunette's eyes. Aria laughs before making her way over to the bed and sitting on the edge - the very edge.

"I knew there had to be something you wanted to talk about when you asked me out to lunch on a whim," Aria nudges the blonde with her shoulder, a genuine smile plastered onto her face.

"Look, I'm not mad at the fact that you didn't tell me sooner," Aria explains. "I'm more surprised than anything, but I want you two to know that I'm happy for both of you," she gives them a small smile before turning her attention solely to the blonde, "but, Ali, you know that you can't keep doing this to Elliot. I love that you and Emily have finally gotten together after so many years, and trust me, I've seen the leftover wreckage from all of the times before and it was a mess," Aria's eyes widen slightly, "but you're hurting him in the long run. Even if you don't care about him in the way you do about Em… he does. And if he finds out somehow, without you saying anything first, you could destroy him. So, please, think about this," Aria pleads with one final, encouraging smile before standing up and making her way back over towards the door. Aria is right; what Alison's doing to Elliot is so much more worse than anything he'd ever done to her. She's cheating on him, for crying out loud. Though it doesn't bother her as bad when she thinks that she could be hurting him even more in the long run, she really just doesn't want to deal with him at the moment. One day, she'll come clean and tell him everything, because he deserves that at least, right?

"I'd totally hug you guys, but I think that can wait," Aria crinkles her nose and the two girls under the sheet softly laugh. The small brunette opens the door and, before stepping out, she flashes her eyes back to Alison.

"Oh," she raises an eyebrow, "and, Alison, don't think that our lunch date is off. We still have lots to talk about." Aria winks and begins to walk out as she hears a sarcastic "can't wait" come from behind her. Once Aria is gone, Emily rolls onto her stomach, burying her face into the pillow before lifting her head again.

"We seriously have to stop getting caught by people we haven't told yet," Emily groans before blinking, "or anyone, for that matter." At the rate the two are currently going with their shitty timing, the whole world will be finding out about them soon and that's definitely something they don't want.

"Maybe if you could control yourself, then this wouldn't happen…" Alison purses her lips, watching the other girl give her a pointed look.

"It's not my fault you're so persuasive," Emily trails her fingers under Alison's shirt - well, her shirt - and across the blonde's lower back, eliciting a soft sigh.

"Come here," Alison brings a hand up to Emily's cheek, gliding her thumb over the smooth skin before pressing her lips to the brunette's.

XXX

"I've been in Rosewood pretty much all of my life and yet I've never even heard of this place," Alison says, throwing her purse into the booth before she slides into it. Aria had given her directions to an old hole-in-the-wall pizzeria somewhere around Hollis, a place the brunette frequented when she was still going to college.

"Not many people know about it, surprisingly, except for most of Hollis' students," Aria smiles once Alison gets settled on her side of the table. The two hadn't spent any real, quality time together in years it felt like and, today, Alison is anxious for their lunch date's most probable discussion. Ever since Aria had walked in on her and Emily earlier that morning, the blonde had been trying to find some real excuse in order to postpone their impending chat, however, she finally pushed herself into going. Truly, their lunch date wouldn't have appeared so dreadful if she wouldn't have been woken up so early, and, of course, if Aria hadn't have walked in on her and Emily covered in only a white sheet.

"I went to Hollis and I've never even heard of - what's this place called again?"

"Tarantino's," Aria tilts her head in enthusiasm, "it's actually pretty good. My dad and I used to come here all the time between or after classes."

"Really? You were always one to be more into quiet places," Alison hums, sitting back further into her seat.

"So," Aria drawls after a pause, "What have you been up to these days?" She queries over the rim of her glass. Alison sighs; where does she even start? Oh, you know, my marriage fell apart and now I'm cheating on my husband with our long-time best friend who, honestly, I am also still very much in love with after all these years. Ironic, right? How's life been for you? She almost laughs at herself; she must sound like absolute trash to her friends. As far as they know, her marriage is going perfectly fine aside from a few spats here and there, but what couple doesn't have arguments? Except, if one were to dig deeper into her marriage, she's absolutely miserable. Sure, Elliot often comes home smelling like a brewery, but she's dating someone who isn't her husband, and she's a past lover, at that. It doesn't even look all that good for Emily's reputation and, quite frankly, an outsider may dub her a "homewrecker." But, truly, Emily is far from that. There aren't any words that she could ever think of that would fit Emily to a T. The brunette is something wonderfully unique and refreshing, and Alison still doesn't know how this beautiful human ended up as her's.

"Hmm, school's in session, so that takes up about half of my life," he blonde laughs, "And, well, you witnessed the other half of my schedule in full swing this morning," she shyly admits. Aria was never one to come straight out and judge someone for whoever they were dating; she's always been known as the "hopeless romantic" of their group, along with Emily in her own ways.

"Reading Fitzgerald to your students must have its' perks," Aria raises her eyebrows, though Alison doesn't quite understand what she means.

"If by perks you mean that I get to see Emily more often and have time to actually do things together, then yes, it certainly has its' perks," Alison says, another smile gracing her face as she looks down at her hands atop the table. The simple mention of Emily's name makes her feel all fuzzy inside, especially after last night. Can you not think about that right now, she internally rolls her eyes at her wandering thoughts.

"I'm glad you two decided to give it another chance, Ali," the artsy brunette reaches across the table and clasps onto Alison's hand.

"Me too," her voice shakes because she can finally admit her feelings about Emily, and just the thought of being able to share their relationship with the others excites her. The two lovers had spent such a long time in hiding that it actually began to tear their relationship apart, pulling it to pieces through slow, painful moments such as arguments or, sometimes, even awkwardness.

"Does Elliot know about you guys?" Aria carefully asks, though she imagines he wouldn't. She doesn't want to push the blonde into a bad mood, but she also wants to know everything that's going on, even the things that don't relate to Emily; she misses knowing about Alison.

"No," Alison shakes her head as she swallows hard, "he suspected something a while back, but he doesn't know." She remembers the day she was at The Brew with Emily and her husband made an appearance, causing their fluffy morning to turn into a rough day afterwards.

"Please be careful with this, Ali. There are so many things that you're risking by being with Emily and I know how you deal with stress. It's not pretty," the brunette takes another sip of her iced tea, regrettably pointing out the cons of what her friends are doing with one another, not that she wants to. Honestly, Aria wishes that everything could flow steadily with no disruptions between two of her best friends. It's always been clear to everyone how much they care for each other and, really, she wonders why she didn't see this happening in the first place, even if Alison is married. It's not a bad thing, no, but Alison and Emily always seem to find a way back to one another and Aria admires the relationship.

"I know," she cracks an emotionally heavy smiles. "Emily's helped me so much and, honestly, I don't think I'll ever find a way to repay her for everything," Alison admits. Sadly, before getting together with Emily, her relationship with Elliot was taking such a big, dark toll on her already. At school, she would unintentionally lash out at her students due to lack of sleep from the constant bickering between her and Elliot. Poor kids, she'd think, they only asked if they could use a green pen. She distanced herself from her friends because of the stress their relationship caused her, and if you had walked anywhere near her, the entire atmosphere would take a depressing turn. Her marriage as a whole was falling apart, additionally, due to their work shifts, Elliot's "casual" drinking habits, and the constant mind-digging he attempted to do. He wasn't always this bad, though; she could have pegged her feelings for genuine love at one point in time. Now, gone is the man she had admired for his love of helping people, his compassion, and his big, brown eyes that reminded her of Emily's (but they never could never really compare) - he's gone. All that remains is this shell of a person who she thought she knew, drenched in the smell of whiskey most nights, sober in the morning but drunk as they crawl into bed. Their relationship is beyond repair; no marriage counselor could ever help them; hell, even Oprah wouldn't be able to. It's okay, however, because Alison is perfectly content with the person she's finally fallen into, who also fell back into her as well - more than content, really.

"I think you've gotten a good jump-start on repaying her," Alison smirks and jokes with the other girl, referring to what she walked in on that morning.

Alison blushes in response and lets out a shaky laugh before saying, "Seriously, though."

"You know Emily would never expect anything in return," Aria tries to provide comfort. It was true; Emily does the things she does out of the genuine kindness in her heart and, normally, it's because she wants to. The girl has a heart of gold, and she also holds the mindset where she'd give you the shirt she's wearing if you needed it.

"If he ever finds out, Ali…" the small brunette trails off in a small voice, her mind venturing to dark places that she doesn't even want to speak of, though feels the need to.

"If he finds out, I'll tell him the truth. That's the least he deserves, right?" Alison practically scoffs at herself; he really does deserve better. Though Elliot has treated her badly, she's done the exact same to him. Any way you look at it, they're both in a fucked up relationship that they know will never work out. She has to give him credit though: he is trying. Just not enough, she thinks.

"It is," Aria trails off again; she respects the fact that Alison is owning up to the situation and how the guy deserves better. The blonde catches onto the other girl's soft attitude.

"Ali, I just have to ask. Is Emily the reason why you're not happy with him anymore?" Aria is careful to ask, not wanting to insinuate anything. She doesn't think Emily would blatantly interfere with someone's relationship, but it is Alison, so who knows how this really came about in the first place.

"Half and half," she admits, earning a raised eyebrow from Aria, silently begging for her to explain. "It's not like Emily came back and I automatically dropped everything with Elliot to be with her. I mean, we slowly reconnected again and accidentally hooked up."

"You guys hooked up?!" Aria almost spits her tea out onto the blonde across from her.

"Don't look at me like that," the blonde rolls her eyes at the look. "It wasn't some skeevy one night stand. It just sort of… happened," she shrugs because, well, it's true.

"Hey, I'm not judging," Aria quickly defends, throwing her hands up with pursed lips.

"I remember us having some big argument, and then she went to leave and… I kissed her," she recalls. "I didn't even know what I was doing at the time, but it felt right. And, now that I think about it, I wouldn't change what happened that night," Alison confesses and she can practically feel Aria gushing over her story.

"I think… right then and there, I realized that she was my savior. I wasn't happy with Elliot anymore. He was like my dad in a nutshell," she grimaced, Aria mimicking her face. "I was just so lonely after everyone moved away and Elliot was like my knight in shining armor, though that title dissolved quickly," she ends with a chuckle.

"I really just wanted her and I was stupid to not wait longer for her to come back," Alison closes her eyes as she stresses every word, regret very evident. The brunette tilts her head and really looks at Alison; she's not at all surprised that Alison truly loves Emily, but it's actually pretty comforting to know that both of their feelings are solid, per Alison's confession.

"Em was never really subtle about her feelings," Aria mumbles, "like… at all. Especially during the um - nevermind," she quickly cuts herself off and looks away before releasing any of Emily's secrets.

"What were you about to say?" Alison pries with narrowed eyes.

"Emily will kill me," Aria shakes her head and places her hands flat on the table's surface.

"Come on. It can't be worse than anything I've said so far," Alison continues to gently pry, this time making Aria give in.

"Fine," she groans before pointing a finger towards Alison, "but if Emily comes after me, don't be surprised when I show up at your house in the middle of the night with a well thought-out rant," Aria warns before leaning on her hands a bit.

Emily finds her feet carrying her through the outskirts of Hollis, trudging down an unfamiliar street since she's never ventured to this part of town before tonight. Her cab driver had dropped her off at the end of the street since she didn't know the exact address of the place she was looking for - or even the name, for that matter. All she knows is that she's looking for the "Life of Hollis," as some call it. It's a small bar that resides on a street lined with multicultural restaurants, a few quaint retail stores, and a consignment shop. The street was always crowded during the summer - not necessarily the New York type of crowded, but it certainly had its days. Being that the season is now late fall, there aren't all that many people roaming the sidewalks, especially at two o'clock in the morning. Any normal person would be in bed sleeping so they didn't end up late for work or school, but Emily doesn't care tonight; she just wants today to end, whether that be on a stomach full of nothing but alcohol, or with pure distress alone. The brunette had already indulged in a round of shots with Hanna after saying she'd be okay with a simple, small taste of alcohol, but after her and her blonde best friend's argument following the round, she decided to leave and clear her head - though her favorite (and most dangerous) coping mechanism began to beg, claiming it could provide some assistance.

For about two weeks, everyone had been distancing themselves from Emily. The brunette had no idea why, but she didn't question it; maybe everyone was just busy. Her head was, for the majority of most days, focused on controlling her alcohol consumptions - which she was doing perfectly fine with; she didn't overdo it and she understood her limits. Another thing she attempted to focus on was work. What really, eventually, brought her back to Rosewood was her friends, but she decided that living in another town that was only close-by was best, considering that the town she used to live in held so many memories, mainly painful ones. She settled into a town that rests between Philly and Rosewood, not too far from the bigger city and not too far from her hometown. As far as she knew, everyone still lived in Rosewood, with the exception of travelling for whatever reason. Emily and Hanna still communicated frequently ever since she left home five years ago, though Aria and Spencer were extremely busy with their new occupations; they never had time to talk as much as they used to. Lastly, she never heard anything from Alison, the one she thought she'd always hear from no matter where the wind took them. Ironically, however that same blonde is the one who is causing her to walk down this unknown street. The last time she heard from Alison was when she called to ask how Emily was doing, saying that she should come back to visit on better terms, but she never did, and Alison never called again. That moment was… two years ago; right after her father's funeral. Two years passed and their lives have completely changed in the meantime. For better or for worse? Well, it depends on who you ask.

About an hour ago, Emily found herself downing another shot of tequila, courtesy of Hanna's cabinet. The night began with them catching up on everything that had happened ever since they last saw each other face to face, which was also two years ago at Wayne's funeral. Though the two conversed with one another almost every day, nothing beats having an actual, physical conversation with one of your best friends. Hanna had invited her over for a small "celebration," happy that Emily finally returned from the west coast and back to "where she belonged," as Hanna said. Some of her belongings were still in the process of being shipped to her new apartment that she had began to rent two weeks ago, and she couldn't have been more excited for the change in lifestyle. Her friends had come over to her place for a small house -warming party, but when Emily walked through her front door, she noticed that one other person was missing - and sure, you can probably guess who - but, again, she didn't question it, assuming the blonde was busy. And, still, she's yet to see the blonde she'd been secretly wanting to meet up with for ages now. Even if she told herself that she didn't feel anything for Alison after all of these years, deep down, she knew that she did; she'll always have those feelings.

So, as Hanna poured her another shot, this time only halfway, she asked about the other blonde that had been MIA from everyone's life. Apparently, however, it was only Emily that she didn't speak to anymore because, per Hanna's word, she and Alison frequently had lunch dates, Aria often invited Alison to her book readings - which Emily could never attend due to the distance - and Spencer and Alison still lived next door to one another, so they had become even closer in terms of friendship. Hanna was initially hesitant to talk about Alison due to Emily's past with her and some things that Emily had spoken about a while back. Visibly, something else was weighing down on Hanna that the brunette picked up on awfully quick.

"Han, what's wrong?" Emily carefully asked when Hanna's demeanor altered tremendously.

"Nothing, I'm just glad you're here," she replied with a smile, but Emily could see through the lie and the beaming smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Hanna, I know there's something bothering you. Do you want to talk about it?" Emily asked again as she took a seat by her best friend on the couch, holding her gaze. No one could ever lie to Emily when she had that look in her eyes that made you want to spill everything; a genuine concern, of sorts, with a hint of protection. It wasn't an accusatory tone, but it was extremely welcoming, which Hanna found weird. Soon, she realized that Emily thought whatever she's hiding was hurting her when, in reality, it'd hurt the brunette a lot more.

"I - no - Em - I don't know," Hanna frustratedly groaned as she stood up and slapped both hands onto her head.

"What is it, Hanna? You can talk to me," the brunette reassured as she watched her best friend begin to pace.

"I know I can, Em. It's just… ugh!" she yelled and walked into the kitchen. Emily was confused at the change in attitude since the blonde was usually blunt about whatever was on her mind. So, she stood up and followed her best friend into the kitchen to see her standing at the sink, both hands on the stainless steel surface and her head bowing down. Emily, with furrowed brows, walked up behind her and laid a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"Hanna, yo-"

"Alison's married," Hanna yelled before she began to ramble on. "She's married to some big hotshot doctor that works at the institution. I didn't want to tell you, Em, because I know about your long and detailed history with Alison and I knew you wouldn't be able to handle it. That's why everyone has been trying to avoid you… because they don't want to see you get hurt and no one knows what to say. I'm so, so, sorry, Em," Hanna stressed. "We should've told you sooner," she ended with tears trailing down her cheeks. Emily took a few steps back, her mouth hanging low as she couldn't formulate any thoughts; what exactly are you supposed to say when someone springs that on you out of nowhere?

"Please, don't be mad," Hanna pleaded as more tears began to stream down her face, but Emily was - she's past mad and she still is. No, it's not with the blonde in front of her or any of her other friends; it's with the other blonde that she tried so desperately to forget about. Emily shifted her jaw as she turned around and headed out the front door, listening to her best friend cry before she slams it shut.

She knows that she shouldn't have left Hanna like that, but she needed to get out of that place and she needed to find some place where she could think.

And that's what leads her to Dionysus' Pub, a Hollis-oriented bar on a cool, Thursday night - or morning, she'd say. She looks up at the glowing, neon pink and green, sign above the entryway. It has a basic vine with grapes pouring out of a tipped over wine glass, the lights flickering as if it's going to burn out soon. Emily reaches for the door's golden handle and swings it open, eliciting a smell of various alcohols and a low chatter amongst the few people inside. She looks over the dimly lit room and takes in the familiar smell that she had gotten so used to back in California. A bartender greets her from behind the counter and she walks towards him.

"What can I get ya'?" his Italian accent comes out thick. She hums to herself as she thinks about what she wants.

"I'll start off easy with a simple screwdriver," she exaggerates the "r" at the end of the word, "light on the juice, please."

She pulls out a ten dollar bill and slides it over to the man across from her.

"Easy and simple, huh?" he chuckles.

"It's been a long night," she sighs with a smile.

"Wanna talk about it?" he asks, wiping down the counter with a white towel. Almost like in the movies, Emily rolls her eyes internally at the stereotype.

"Believe me, we would be here until next Christmas," she breathes out.

"I've got nothing to do in the meantime," he tosses the towel over his shoulder and begins to make Emily's drink behind the counter.

"Let's just say that I've had my heart broken one too many times by the same person," she shakes her head and places it in her hands, slightly rubbing at her eyes. The bartender watches on as the stressed girl sighs again.

"Well, why do you continue to let it happen? Leave the man," he sits the orange slice-adorned glass down in front of Emily and takes the money from the counter.

"It's a lot harder than that," she purses her lips, though "hard" is such an understatement to begin with. How many times is she going to let Alison Di- or whatever she goes by - continue to have this kind of hold on her?

"What? Sex too good?" he lets out a booming chuckle and Emily sends a glare his way.

"You know, you're really insensitive," she laughs and props her head up onto her hand. "But, no, that's not it." the brunette continues as the bartender pulls a stool up to the counter opposite of her.

"It's my DNA, sorry," he says and both of them laugh. "It sounds like someone's just in love."

"Maybe…" she trails off, reaching for her glass and taking a long gulp.

"Is there juice in this at all?" she grimaces as she feels the liquid burn her throat all the way down.

"Mm, I altered the proportions for taste," he grins.

"What taste were you aiming for?" she eyes the liquid as she snickers.

He shrugs, "You looked like you could take vodka straight, anyway."

"I could take the entire bottle, actually," she jokes, but when he sits the bottle on the counter, her eyes widen, "I was just kidding."

"Have fun," he smiles before disappearing into the backroom.

"Have fun? I will, indeed," she whispers to herself before finishing her drink off and pouring another heaping amount of the clear liquid into the glass.

XXX

The room spins and she feels like her stomach is going to explode any minute now. She looks down at the bottle in front of her that went from full to a quarter in a bit over an hour - or… something like that. Everyone from before had left and there are only three people left in the entire pub: her, the bartender, and some man sitting in the corner of the room, mumbling something barely audible. Emily pulls her phone out to see six missed calls, two voice mails, and four texts from no other than Hanna. She squints at the screen, her focus coming in and fading out again. She first goes through the messages.

"Emily, please tell me you didn't do what I think you did."

"Please answer me!"

"Tell me where you are and I'll come get you."

"I'm sorry for keeping this from you."

Emily sighs, it hurts to see Hanna worrying over her like this. Hell, she doesn't even know where the brunette wandered off to - she just left. Emily then checks the two voicemails that Hanna had left.

"Em, I know I screwed up with not telling you about Alison. It was so stupid of me, but I just wanted to see you happy and I knew that, if I told you, you would've been destroyed," she hears the blonde sigh over the speaker, "much like you probably are now. Please, call me back."

Taking a deep breath, Emily listens to the second one.

"Hey, Emily! This is your friend Hanna… the one who you ran out on. Please call me back because I'm worried sick about you. At least just text me to tell me that you're okay. Oh, and please don't go kicking Alison's husband's ass. That's the last thing we need. Call me back, please. Love you."

At least she doesn't sound so torn to pieces anymore, but that's always been Hanna's thing; the blonde has a tough exterior, but, inside, she could be dying and no one would ever know. Emily rises from her seat and stumbles towards the bathroom, causing her to regret getting up so quickly. She shuts the door and looks into the mirror, facing the dark person that she's become once again - and, she thinks, maybe that's really who she is. There's sorrow written all over her face and, perhaps, she deserves it.

"It wasn't me," Emily murmurs, a crack present in her voice. Hearing it for herself, she breaks down completely; her walls, her heart, her dignity… it all shatters, morphing into tears that flow down her cheeks at an unsteady pace. Nothing hurts her more than to know that her first true love has actually moved on from her, gotten married, and started a life of nothing but pure happiness. Eventually, they'll start a family and grow old together as they sit on their front porch and watch their kids leave for college. How did things get so fucked for her? Why and how did she let this beautiful woman, that she hasn't seen in years, slip through her fingertips and land into the hands of some guy that will probably never show Alison her true worth, cater to her unique needs, and duplicate the same amount of love that Emily has held for her to this very day? She lost Alison because she's selfish. She's only worried about herself in recent years, the only time she shouldn't have, and now she's lost everything altogether. Her last chance with Alison… she blew that when she left for California the second time.

"It was supposed to be me!" she shouts through her tears, red faced and slamming her hands against the wall as she presses her forehead against the cold mirror. Tears run down her face, her mascara is everywhere, and her entire appearance is just a mess. She was supposed to be the one asking Alison to be her's forever - she was; not some random guy that she's met, likely fairly recently. Who knows, she thinks, maybe he treats Alison better than she ever did.

"Fuck you," she directs into the mirror, slamming her hands against the tiled wall.

"Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!" she screams repeatedly, hitting her head against the mirror once before falling to the floor. She chokes on her sobs, bringing her knees into her chest as she rocks herself back and forth. How did things get so fucked up?

"God damn it!" the previous, broken Emily is now gone as she gets up and faces the mirror once more. She sees nothing but red, and she hears her heartbeat in her ears. If she knew who Alison's new husband was, Emily would be giving him a piece of her mind. But, really, she isn't as angry with him as much as she is with Alison. She's fucking livid and once she sees the blonde again… Emily's determined to get some answers.

Pulling out her phone, she scrolls through her contacts until she comes across the name she needs: Alison's. She hastily taps away at the screen before hitting the small phone icon, holding the device up to her ear. God, she knows this is a fucked up thing to do; she knows it isn't Alison's fault and it's her own for letting the girl of her dreams go, but she feels a strong urge to unload everything onto the girl, even though she knows she'll regret it once she sobers up.

Alison doesn't answer.

So, she dials again.

And again.

Until she lets it go to voicemail.

"I know you're awake, Alison," she seethes once the beep sounds, "don't you dare fucking ignore me!"

Emily begins to pace back and forth, her body shaking as she rants into the speaker.

"I know that you're married to some random asshole. Hanna told me because you, yourself, didn't have the fucking audacity to. After all of these years, you're still so fucking selfish!" she cries into the receiver as fresh, hot tears start streaming down her face while her emotions run wild; she's pissed, she's upset, and she feels like she's losing her mind.

"I wanted you, Alison! I did! But you were too fucking clueless to see," Emily breathes heavily as she continues, her teeth grinding due to her blazing attitude. "I wanted you, but you let me go like I meant nothing to you! Absolutely nothing," she whispers the last part, her voice trembling.

Shaking her head, her voice begins to quiet down as the tears start falling uncontrollably, "I hope you and your husband have a life filled with everything that you've ever wanted because, for fuck's sake, Alison, you deserve every single ounce of it," Emily stresses every syllable, emphasizing the meaning of her words.

"You deserve to have someone that treats you like the queen that you are," her voice trails off as she hangs her head, hurt written over every inch of her body. What the fuck has she done?

"Goodbye, Alison."

And, with that, she hangs up the phone and scrolls through her contacts once again to find someone to come and get her from this hellhole. Sadly, she wishes that they would take her far, far away from Rosewood, Pennsylvania as a whole.

Her thumb hovers over Hanna's name, wondering if she should return her calls and let her know that she's fine, but she can't. She can't face what she's done right now when all she really wants to do is run down the street screaming. Deciding that she'll wait to call Hanna, she continues scrolling through her contacts and lands on Spencer's name. She debates on asking Spencer to pick her up, but she already knows that the smarter brunette would lecture her about getting drunk in the middle of the week and, honestly, she'd probably tell Emily to get over Alison, like it's so simple; that's an argument she's dreading because she knows she'll never be able to just "get over" Alison. Scrolling back to the top of her contact list, she finds Aria's name and wastes no time dialing her number. Aria would be the last to judge Emily for her reasoning on getting drunk in the middle of the week and, instead, she'd most likely take care of her, unlike the other two would at the moment.

"Hello?" a groggy voice answers the phone; clearly Emily had just woken her up.

"Aria, what are you doing?" Emily questions.

"Um, sleeping. Is there something you need at…" her voice trails off before coming back, "Three-thirty in the morning?" Emily stays silent; maybe this was a bad idea after all.

"I- I-" she stutters, "can you come get me?"

"Where are you at this time of night? I thought you were at Hanna's," Aria sounds confused and her voice sounds a bit more awake.

"I'm at Dionysus' Pub. I can't remember the address," she shamefully bows her head as she rubs at her forehead.

"Stay there, Em. I'll be there in a few," Aria consoles before hanging up.

Emily sighs, leaning her head back against the stall behind her.

Alison leans in closely, curious about Aria's memory.

"It happened not too long after she came back from California," Aria begins.

Aria quickly throws on her robe and slippers before she walks down the hallway of her two bedroom apartment. She wonders what the hell happened to Emily and why she's calling her from a bar when Hanna insisted on the two staying in for the night. She makes it outside to get into her car, hastily putting it into reverse as she backs out of the parking space before speeding away to Dionysus'. Luckily, she doesn't live too far away from the bar since she still lives relatively close to Hollis, which also confuses her as to why or how Emily ended up on this side of town. Either way, she knows that she has to get to her best friend before something terrible happens, especially judging from the way Emily sounded over the phone.

Eventually, she pulls up to the bar and hurries out of her car, turning it off as quick as she can.

"Sorry, Miss, we're about to close," the bartender shouts from behind the counter, a puzzled look written on his features as he doubletakes Aria's just-out-of-bed appearance.

"I'm looking for someone. She's about this tall," Aria reaches her hand high over her head, "brown hair, tan, goes by Emily," she finishes. The bartender makes an "ahh" sound before pointing towards the bathroom door. Aria thanks the man and heads that way, pushing the wooden door open slightly and gently calling out Emily's name out. She hears sniffling and slowly opens a stall's door to see Emily with her back pressed against a wall, knees tucked into her chest, and her head buried in her folded arms. She looks like a mess, Aria notes.

"Em," the smaller brunette calls the girl's name but she doesn't budge.

"Emily, it's me," she tries again, this time causing the broken girl to finally notice her as she nods her head.

"I've come to take you home. Will you stand up for me?" Aria asks, offering her hands out to support the other girl as she attempts to get to her feet. She reeks of booze, Aria thinks to herself.

"I want to go home," Emily's voice is raspy, barely audible, and evident of hurt. What exactly happened tonight?

"Is it okay if we go back to my place?" Aria carefully dances around the fact that Emily smells like a brewery. The taller brunette just nods as Aria wraps an arm around her waist, guiding them out of the bathroom and through the front doors. She helps Emily slide into the passenger seat, assisting her by fastening her seatbelt and closing the door. Aria makes her way around the car before getting into the driver's seat. She takes one last look at Emily who's gazing out the window and, presumably, not going to talk. Aria shifts her car into drive and pulls back onto the road, advancing back towards her apartment.

XXX

Once the other girl had never spoken a word to her throughout the entire ride, Aria knew that something was up; normally, even if Emily was drunk, she was still highly talkative. The driving brunette pulls into her designated parking space and shuts the car off, taking a second to collect her thoughts before she moves.

"Can you get out on your own?" she asks, receiving only a small head nod before the the girl exits the car and starts walking away from the direction of Aria's apartment.

"Em, it's this way," Aria gently calls after the drunken girl who's mindlessly walking back towards the road. Emily turns around, shaking her head slightly, almost as if she hadn't been in reality for quite a bit. She walks in Aria's direction, the smaller girl allowing Emily to pass by first, just in case.

Once inside, Aria helps Emily kick off her boots and shrug out of her leather jacket before Emily collapses onto the couch with a deep huff.

"Do you want some water?" Aria asks, receiving a tiny "yes please" from the other girl. Aria makes her way into the kitchen, quickly grabbing a bottle of water from her fridge. Before heading back towards Emily, she accurately assumes that Emily's intake of alcohol was severely vast and will, most likely, result in a horrible hangover, so she grabs the bottle of Tylenol and a large bowl before returning to the living room.

"Here you go," Aria hands the bottle of water to Emily who graciously accepts it. A few moments of silence linger in the air as Aria waits for Emily to finish drinking her water.

"Em," Aria coos, "what happened tonight?"

Emily removes the bottle from her lips before taking a deep breath, opening her mouth, only to close it once again. Aria notices her reluctance towards the topic, but she has no clue how Emily went from staying at Hanna's to somehow ending up alone at a pub.

"Emily, it's me. You -"

"- I am so screwed," Emily interjects. "I did something terrible and I don't know what to do," she confesses, tears falling freely from her eyes.

"Em, it's oka-"

"- No, it's not. It's far from okay," she bawls. Aria takes Emily's hand in her own, rubbing her thumb over the back of the other girl's hand.

"Please, tell me what happened to-"

"I love her, and there's nothing I can do because she's fucking married," Emily sobs, her breathing picking up. Aria sits back as she covers her mouth slightly, finally realizing what's going on. She makes an "oh" face before rubbing Emily's back.

"I lost my chance. Again," she swallows hard. "And now she'll never know that I actually came back here for her." Emily shakes her head and looks towards the ceiling after saying those words; she came back for Alison.

"Em, I promise it'll be okay. We're here for you," Aria comforts, tears springing to her own eyes as she watches Emily break; she knew it would hurt Emily, that's for certain, but she wasn't aware that it would be this bad.

"It was supposed to be me and her! We were supposed to end up together," Emily falls into Aria's shoulder, choking on her sobs. "We were supposed to go on cute dates and then travel to Paris together and, fuck, we were supposed to get married while you, Hanna, and Spencer shared the special day with us. It should have happened but now it can't. It's all over and…" she trails off, trying to catch her breath as Aria provides comfort.

"She's supposed to be mine," Emily croaks.

Alison wonders how long Emily had this on her mind for; how long she had dealt with this feeling of… emptiness that she, herself, also felt for years. In some sick way, she wonders how Emily had felt when she initially found out; she wants to know how much the other girl had suffered from the traumatizing news. That sounds so sadistic, Alison thinks, though she doesn't mean it in that way; she just wishes that she knew how much Emily had felt for her back when this happened.

Once Aria finishes recalling that night, the blonde sees a waiter approaching them as she responds to the story.

"She wasn't the only one hurting at the time," Alison mumbles; Emily was far from being the only one.

The other girl's eyes widen a fraction as Alison places her order.

"Iced water and a pesto chicken pasta salad, please," she smiles at the uniformed man as he turns towards Aria.

"I'll have the Mediterranean flatbread," the small brunette smiles as the waiter walks back towards the kitchen.

"Go on," Aria arches an expectant eyebrow after the other girl looks towards her, curious about Alison's background on the situation.

"While she was so torn up over my marriage, Elliot and I were already in counseling," Alison confesses. Only a handful of people knew about their rough patch, and that was intentional; Alison always kept it on the down-low so neither of their reputations would, somehow, get destroyed by the public's judging eyes and seemingly high standards.

"What really happened between you two?" Aria asks because, really, everyone wonders, though no one exactly voices the question.

"Elliot?" the blonde raises her eyebrows with a half-question, half-answer. "I don't really know aside from knowing that we were happy in the beginning, but now we're not. I know he's not happy, although he wishes he was. And there are times where he tries so hard to make everything work, but it just doesn't anymore," she shakes her head. "We're no longer comfortable in our marriage and, sadly, it's come to an end."

No matter what way Alison looks at it, she doesn't know what had really happened to them other than the fact that they grew apart from each other physically, mentally, and emotionally.

"Even some of the small things he does drive me crazy. Like… when he goes out with his friends and drinks, then comes and tries to kiss me with the smell of whiskey on his breath. It makes me want to vomit. There are times where he'll simply just walk past me and I need to refrain from saying certain things that I know will cause an argument. It's just… I don't know," she sighs, leaning back in her seat.

"Ali, you know that's not healthy. You should've ended this a long time ago. If you don't want to mend your marriage back to how it used to be, then you should just get a divorce," Aria says quite bluntly and, frankly, she's right; Alison is doing nothing but hurting both of them in the long run and, God, Elliot deserves so much more than someone who can never reciprocate the same love that he holds for her - or tries to, anyway. There are plenty of people who would feel lucky to have him, and though she knows it'll be a tough divorce process, she can't help but to feel bad for what she's done - or what she's been doing. If she would have called it quits on their relationship two years ago while they were in and out of counseling, she wouldn't be dealing with today's mess.

"I honestly don't know what I'll do," she trails off. Though she really does know what she's going to do, she decides to keep it between Spencer and herself for the time-being.

"It's hard, you know… everyone thinking we're this happy couple when, really, we're far from it. So, instead of coming out and saying that we still have all of these issues, we pretended to be happy. I did, at least," Alison laughs sadly. "Who would want to be that girl with the insanely screwed up childhood, who continues to fuck things up for herself, and lets another relationship completely crumble?" she scoffs, her voice cracking with each word.

Aria reaches her hand across the table to latch onto the blonde's, "Ali, you have come so far from being that girl. There's nothing wrong with you," she soothes, offering the other girl a small smile.

The waiter finally makes it back to their table with the food and Alison's drink, apologizing to them for the wait before turning around and walking off. They sit in silence as Alison begins to play with her food, suddenly losing her appetite.

"I think you two should tell Spencer before it's too late," Aria coos, receiving an extremely conflicted and slightly terrified look from the girl seated across from her.

"Don't give me that look," Aria narrows her eyes and points a fork towards Alison. "I'm serious. You know her as well as I do. She'll be stressed even before you get a single word out of your mouth," she tilts her head to the side as she begins to sip her tea.

"How do you think she'll react? Worse than decaffeinated Spencer with no coffee?" Alison chuckles as she takes a bite of the pasta.

"Funny, but I think you're going to have to find out on your own. What's the worst she could do?"

"Um, I don't know…" Alison says sarcastically with wide eyes. "Probably give me that Hastings look that could bring a family of cavemen to their knees," she chuckles, hiding the fact that Aria is actually correct; Spencer can be hard-headed and protective, but never controlling and she'd never force the two of them apart.

"You're Alison DiLaurentis," Aria arches her eyebrow as she talks. "You could send a tavern of witches to an early grave, and that's not a bad thing."

Alison hesitatingly agrees, "You're right."

The blonde shakily pulls her phone out of her purse, scrolling through her recent conversations and landing on Emily's name. Her trembling fingers fly over the keyboard and, before she can change her mind, she hits send:

"Meet me at Spencer's in a little bit… I'm ready to talk about us."

Her phone vibrates almost immediately, signaling she had already gotten a response from her girlfriend:

"Are you sure about this, Ali? I don't want you forcing yourself into this just because you feel like you have to."

Alison: "Yes, I'm positively sure."

Emily: "Okay, see you at three?"

Alison: "Definitely. Love you."

Emily: "Love you too, Beautiful."

Alison feels her cheeks heat up at the pet-name that Emily has taken a liking to.

"Okay, so, Em is going to meet me at Spencer's in a little bit," Alison nods her head at the reality of it all, swallowing hard as she almost forgets to blink.

Saying and acting on things are two completely different concepts in themselves, and no matter how many times Alison has told herself that she can do this, she really feels like she can't. It's not like she's scared of Spencer; it's more so along the lines of not wanting to piss her off and end up dealing with her judgmental glares.

Aria can almost see the nervousness radiating off of the blonde in front her and it pains her to know that her best friend is going through so much.

"I can come with you two, you know, for moral support," the small brunette speaks sweetly. "If you'd like, of course. I know how Spencer can be at times," she reaches across the table again, laying a reassuring hand on Alison's.

"Thanks, Ar. We probably should have someone there. Who knows what could happen," her voice trails off as she glances through the window, her thoughts running rampant.

The big question that remains lingering in the air is if Spencer will accept them as a couple. It doesn't bother Alison what people think about her and her girlfriend, however Spencer is practically her sister and she doesn't want to disappoint the brainy brunette after they had worked through so much after all of these years.

XXX

"Are you ready?" Aria asks once they're standing in Spencer's driveway.

"No," Alison groans; she's basically asking for an argument with what she's about to tell Spencer - maybe even an early death.

"Come on. It won't be that bad," Aria coos, interlacing her arm with the blonde's and guiding them to Spencer's barn. They finally reach the door with Alison's hand reaching to knock, but Emily opens the door first, greeting them with a nervous yet genuine smile.

"Aria… Alison," Emily nods at each girl before stepping aside and letting them through.

Aria hugs the taller brunette before shooting Alison a look that practically pleads "please don't even think about running away," and heading into Spencer's kitchen.

"So…" Emily drones, clasping her own hands together; to say she's anxious is an understatement.

"Is that how you're going to welcome your girlfriend?" Alison grins, causing Emily to rolls her eyes before closing the distance between them.

The brunette looks at Alison with a soft smile before breaking through the heavy tension that lingered in the atmosphere, "Hi."

"Hello," Alison greets back, looking around the room for the other blonde that she thought would still be around. "Where's Hanna?" she questions when she sees that Hanna is nowhere in sight.

"I brought her back home since she has a hot date tonight," Emily replies before taking the other girl's hand in her own. When the blonde slightly smiles and looks away, Emily cocks her head to the side while narrowing her eyes, "Why are you so nervous?"

"Why are you not?" comes the distraught reply.

Emily looks at her and lets out a small chuckle, "It's not like we're coming out of the closet."

Alison looks towards the floor before staring at Emily again with wide eyes, "But it's Spence." Moving her eyes towards the other side of the room, she mumbles, "I'd almost rather come out."

Emily wraps her arm around Alison before bringing her towards the center of the living room in order to sit down.

"We'll be okay," she says as she kisses the other girl's temple. Plopping onto the cushions, they finally get comfortable on the couch - or as comfy as they could get.

Emily absentmindedly continues speaking, "Besides, if you're so nervous then maybe you should stop sleeping with Mother Spencer's favorite."

At that statement, Alison whips her head towards Emily and raises an eyebrow.

"Please, like you're really her favorite."

Before Emily can try to formulate an answer, Aria and Spencer walk into the room and sit down on the opposing chairs with a tray of drinks being placed onto the center coffee table.

"I didn't have any green tea. Will chamomile work?" Spencer questions. They all nod and reach out for a mug of the freshly brewed tea.

"So," Spencer begins as she sits back into her chair, "what's so important that you guys couldn't wait to tell me?"

Alison's hands begin to shake due to her anxiety, which she's surprised hasn't given her a heart attack yet. Emily notices her girlfriend's trembling hands and reaches over to take one of the blonde's in her own.

"There's something we need to talk about," Emily turns her attention to Alison, both gazing into each other's eyes, "About us."

Spencer sips her tea, not exactly understanding what they have to talk about.

"I'm listening," is all she replies.

Emily soothingly rubs her thumb over the back of Alison's hand in hopes of calming her down - and it does.

"Where do we even start?" Alison whispers to the girl next to her. Where do they start?

Emily clears her throat and makes an "I got this" face before turning to Spencer.

"I'm just going to go ahead and say it," Emily inhales, closing her eyes and reopening them before speaking. "Alison and I have been dating for a while now."

Before she continues, she waits to see if Spencer is already reacting in a bad way, but the other brunette seems to hold a very good poker face, allowing Emily to explain further.

"Ever since last year, we've been dating. I swear that we wanted to tell everyone sooner, but it always just seemed to be the wrong time," she explains with Alison squeezing her hand every now and then.

Spencer doesn't say anything as Aria plays with her hands in another nearby chair; she's not sure what Spencer is thinking at all and that makes her nervous.

"It's always been her," Emily smiles at Alison, though she's terrified of Spencer's inevitable reaction.

"We were always destined to get together," Alison chimes in. "Sadly, I didn't realize it sooner," she whispers to herself.

Spencer continues to sip her tea as she listens to the two girls' confessions; no one can tell what the silent brunette is thinking, and, quite frankly, that's frightening.

"It wasn't all that long after I had moved into my apartment… we started seeing each other soon after," Emily expands, offering more information in order to coax a response out of Spencer - and she gets it.

"How did you two come together?" Spencer asks monotonously.

Emily opens her mouth to speak, but quickly decides against explaining exactly how her and Alison had fallen back together.

"They talked things over between them," Aria interrupts, saving Alison and Emily the judgment that Spencer was sure to throw their way.

"Y-yeah, and we realized that the feelings were still there," Emily stutters, mentally slapping herself.

"And you just decided to act on those feelings while Alison was - I'm sorry - is still married?" Spencer's words hold an accusatory tone - one that they knew would eventually come out.

"Spence -" Aria begins but gets cut off almost immediately, causing her to sink back slightly.

"Don't Spence me," she glares at the shorter brunette beside her before directing her attention back towards the couple on the couch. "You both knew this was wrong, yet you still went through with it. Why?"

"Because I love her," Emily almost shouts in frustration, taking everyone in the room by surprise. "Look, Spencer, I know this is probably the shittiest thing I've ever done, but I would not change a thing about it. I'm sorry if you can't see past that."

"See past what, Emily!?" Spencer raises her voice right back, though Emily doesn't seem deterred. "That you willingly interfered with someone's marriage?"

"That is not what happened, Spencer, and you know it," Alison finally speaks from Emily's side, quickly jumping to her girlfriend's defense.

"Please, explain what happened then. Go ahead," Spencer quirks an eyebrow at the blonde, a snide tone laced through her words.

"God, we accidentally hooked up!" she groans and half-shouts. "Is that what you were looking for? That I was - and still am - in a fucking ridiculous marriage with someone who doesn't even really love me, so I actually gravitated back towards the only person who has ever loved me for me!? Would you have handled that situation any differently, Spencer?"

"Don't turn this on me!" Spencer slams her mug down onto the coffee table and stands up, running a hand through her hair.

"Look, I know that this is a lot to take in," Emily begins, inhaling deeply before continuing, "I don't care if you support it or not, but, please, Spence. Just know that we're so much happier and that's all that really matters." She attempts to keep a hold on her emotions, careful not to match Alison's growing frustration.

"Please, think about this before acting out in an irrational manner," Aria stands up and speaks softly to Spencer when she sees the girl's body language.

"How are you okay with this?" Spencer nearly whispers.

"Because I know love when I see it," Aria's eyes widen before tilting her head in the couple's direction. Spencer stays silent as she reclaims her previous seat.

"Spencer, please," Alison whispers; it would mean the world to her if her other best friend could accept her relationship, but she knows that things don't usually work in her favor.

After a few more moments of silence, Spencer finally speaks again.

"I don't condone this relationship," she sighs, "but I can see how you two love each other, and maybe I've been too blind to see it before now." At that, everyone's body relaxes slightly - that is, until Spencer continues.

"I just don't want Emily getting hurt by any of this," Spencer stresses, rubbing at her forehead and eyes.

"What do you mean? Emily's not going to get hurt by anything," Alison says almost too quickly, her words holding a bite.

"And how do you know that, Alison? What if this whole thing backfires and her reputation gets destroyed? This is Rosewood… not some playground like you two are used to. When someone finds out that you're running around behind Elliot's back - and don't deny it because you are - do you know what's going to happen?"

Though she knows Spencer is telling the truth, it still stings to know the reality of the claim.

"You're a teacher, Ali. Can you imagine what'll happen if word gets out about your mistress?" Spencer looks towards Emily and Aria's eyes widen at the sudden nickname.

"Stop acting like she ruined my marriage with Elliot, Spencer. She didn't," Alison bites again and, honestly, she can't help it; it's one of her biggest defenses.

"I don't care what she did or did not do, Alison. That's not how everyone is going to perceive it and you know that as well as I do," Spencer sasses back with a tilt of her head.

"Can everyone just stop going back and forth?" Emily nearly screeches. "I knew what I was getting into when we started this. I don't care if the entire state of Pennsylvania - or even the world - hates me. As long as I have Alison by my side, I could care less about anyone else. And, sure, maybe that's corny but, God, it's true, okay?" Emily's own frustration grows. "And you of all people should know that," she looks pointedly at Spencer.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Spencer shoots a dangerous glare towards Emily. "Say it, Emily."

"Have you forgotten about Toby? Have you forgotten about how everyone had looked at you when you two first started dating because of his past? Reputation -"

"Emily, that's enough," Aria interrupts, a look of warning written across her face.

Emily stops talking, taking a few deep breaths before continuing to try and get her point across. Alison squeezes her hand in support as she sees the struggle in Emily's posture. Spencer's chest rises and falls as she leans over with her head in her hands, her leg bouncing slightly as she tries to occupy herself.

"The point is, Spence, I love Alison. I do," she bites her inner cheek. "And, no matter what people think about us, it doesn't matter in the end because we have each other and that's all that counts," Emily huffs, massaging her temples with her unoccupied hand.

Aria bows her head at Emily's admission, a proud yet exhausted feeling washing over her. Heated silence remains in the room as everyone grows quiet for the first time in minutes, likely using the time to breathe and think things through further.

"I care about you two so much," Spencer stresses as she leans back, "even when you make a mistake, it's my job as a best friend to be there for you. Both of you. Whether it's to hide a body, or give one of you a place to stay, I feel it's my responsibility to do so. It is my responsibility."

Aria looks over at Spencer, liking the sudden change in her attitude. Emily and Alison share a look of solidarity before Spencer speaks again.

"I don't agree with this one-hundred percent, but I can't be mad at you for making this decision. It's your life, and I guess I'm still trying to be that annoying mother even after all of these years," Spencer chuckles, sighing after doing so.

"I'm glad that you guys decided to tell me, so thank you for that," Spencer gets up and walks towards the two girls sitting on the sofa, motioning for them to get up. She grabs them both and wraps them in a hug, rubbing their backs and mumbling, "I care so much about you two. It's insane."

Alison and Emily chuckle at her statement, though the blonde's eyes slightly water; she feels so relieved that Spencer is aware of what's going on, and, though some not-so-great things were said, she feels as though the air is much lighter. Eventually, Aria joins in on the group hug as they all laugh at her when she feels the need to shimmy into the middle, her small frame making it difficult to join them otherwise.

"I'm so lucky to have you people in my life," Spencer's voice cracks and a tear falls from Alison's eyes, though no one notices.

XXX

"I'm finally home and ready to relax," Emily sighs loudly as she flops backwards onto her bed.

Alison, who's on the phone with the brunette, chuckles, "Do you ever do anything besides lay around when I'm not there?"

Emily hums into the receiver before responding, "Yes…"

"You know that's a lie just as well as I do," Alison says as she enters her house.

Earlier, Alison had decided that she would hang around with Aria a little bit longer which really didn't help her exhaustion. She's almost completely drained, but she knows that she has work to get started on. So, here she is, trudging up her stairs and heading into one of the spare bedrooms that she had turned into an office, ready to start her research.

"Well, if you were here…" Emily sings.

"For the tenth time, nothing you say will change the fact that I'm busy and can't come over," Alison solemnly replies with a sigh.

"Come on," Emily tries again. "Your students' papers can wait until tomorrow," she attempts to compromise, though Alison doesn't budge.

The blonde sits down at her desk, flicking on the lamp next to her computer to illuminate the room in a soft, fluorescent light. She presses the computer's power button and waits for the screen to come on before taking a seat and tossing her things on the floor.

"No, they can't… but you can," Alison replies with a smirk, knowing that her girlfriend is probably pouting amidst her claim.

Emily groans, tossing her head back against her headboard by accident, eliciting an "ow, damn it."

Alison giggles over the speaker, knowing exactly what the other girl on the line had done after she heard some movement and a thump.

"I'd rather that happen to me by you do -"

"I'm going to save you the time and effort by stopping you from finishing that attempt at sex-talking," Alison interrupts the partially-annoyed brunette; all she wants is for Alison to be next to her - maybe under or above - but she just wants her girlfriend for the night, in general.

"Should I be offended by that or not?" Emily questions with a quirked brow, though Alison can't see it.

"Face it, babe, you can't talk dirty outside of sex," Alison coos as she begins to type her login password.

Once signed in, she clicks on her browser and begins to type in "Pennsylvania divorce laws," bringing up a list of websites to venture to.

"Why don't you teach me?" Emily's voice is innocent, but Alison knows there's a gleam of hope in her eyes on the other end of the line.

"Phone sex just so happens to not be my forte," Alison chuckles when she hears an irritated groan come from the brunette.

"Maybe it wouldn't have to be through the phone if you came over," Emily challenges, a wide smirk evident on her face when she hears Alison hum.

"You don't give up, do you?" Alison chuckles and rolls her eyes.

She scrolls through the list of websites until one piques her interest. Honestly, she would much rather be with Emily than doing this, but the quicker she finishes this, the longer she'll be able to spend time with said brunette; they both need to learn patience, anyways.

"Nope," comes Emily's quick reply.

Alison rolls her eyes again; Emily can be quite… persistent on matters such as their intimate times. Though her patience for most general things is uncanny - and, honestly, it opposes Alison's patience - but, when it comes to their alone time, she can't contain herself unless it's completely necessary.

"Hmm," Alison unintentionally hums when she comes across one website in particular that interests her even further.

"What are you humming about over there?" Emily questions. "Are you changing your mind on coming over?" she finishes with a hopeful tone.

"No, sadly. It's just… something that came across my mind," Alison shakes her head at the world's worst lie; where have her skills gone to?

"Look, if it's about today, don't stress over it. Spencer may be difficult to get through to at first, but she'll come around eventually," Emily sits up in her bed as her worries regarding the day's events grow stronger; she knows that her girlfriend already has enough on her plate, and the last thing she needs is for one of their longtime friends judging her - or both of them.

"God, I walked in with hopes that she would just… accept us and go on about her day," Alison sighs, though she knew it was unrealistic from the start. "But I thought wrong, obviously," she runs her free hand down her face, eliciting an exhale due to her complete exhaustion.

"Expect the unexpected," Emily murmurs with a head tilt.

Alison furrows her eyebrows, "What?"

"It means that you should be prepared for anything… it's practically my everyday mantra," Emily giggles. "It's Spencer, though. I expected her to act out in her own Spencer way, whichever way that is."

"Yeah, well, the Spencer way should've stayed home," Alison snorts.

"I know," Emily shakes her head. "But, on another note, how are you doing with everything?" she sincerely asks; she knows that Spencer basically preyed upon every single one of Alison's insecurities, and if Emily really knows one thing about the blonde, it's that she doesn't take criticism well - especially from Spencer.

Spencer is the only one out of the other girls that can force her way under Alison's skin with just a simple look, and Emily knows that Alison hates it because, no matter what, Spencer is just someone you can't argue with - there's absolutely no point.

"Everything as in Spencer, or everything as in my life as a whole?" Alison asks.

Ever since she had left Spencer's house, there's been a peculiar feeling eating away at her on the inside, beckoning for her to get rid of the piling guilt and heaviness. But, sadly, the only way to fix the feeling would end in pain - for someone, at least.

"If you're referring to Spencer, then I'm fine," she answers when Emily stays silence for a beat.

"You don't have to lie to me, Alison. I know you hated what she said."

"Just because I hated it doesn't mean it's not true, Emily," Alison quickly replies, making sure she keeps a harsh tone out of her voice.

"What do you mean?" Emily quirks an eyebrow, hastily sitting up in her bed like she was previously.

"I mean… who knows what tomorrow will bring," she gets frustrated. "Like, one second we could be all over each other, and then the next…" the blonde trails off, afraid of the pain that her words could inflict.

"Don't you dare finish that thought, Alison," Emily warns. "I told you when we first got together that I don't care about what you have done in the past. It does not make up you as a whole. So, no matter what Spencer, Elliot, or the entire world say about you, it won't change my mind on us because I see you for you, Ali… Not some fifteen year old trying to survive through her own personal hell," Emily inhales a sharp breath, realizing how much her rant had taken out of her.

"But what if it does, Emily? No one sees me for me. It's always Alison DiLaurentis, the girl who always fucks people over," Alison's voice is so small that Emily has to do a doubletake to understand what she had said.

"I see you for you, Alison," the brunette sternly repeats, leaving no room for argument; how did they end up on this topic so suddenly?

Alison tucks her head into her arm, trying to catch her breath and figure out something to say something back - anything.

"Come over, please," Emily pleads; she's tired of Alison not knowing her own worth and what she really deserves.

"I'm scared that I'm going to rip us apart," Alison whispers into the speaker, her voice slightly breaking, "or rip you apart."

"You're not going to tear anyone apart, Ali. I promise. There's no other person I'd rather be with than you. God, Alison, you make me feel so crazy and sometimes I need to remind myself that we really are together, because I wake up thinking that this is some detailed fantasy that's going to end tragically. But, then I remember that it is real, and I'm not dreaming anymore. You're real and… we're real," Emily confesses, every word falling from her lips as if they are straight from the heart - and they are.

The blonde on the other line stays quiet, slowly soaking in each and every word that had tumbled from her girlfriend's mouth.

"So, I'm going to ask again, will you come over?" Emily offers one more time, hoping that she might get a different response.

Alison sits up, looking at her computer's clock before tucking her head back into her arms.

"Em, it's eleven forty-eight. I have to grade these papers," Alison declines the offer yet again, though she so desperately wants to be curled up against Emily until the next day's sun comes up.

"You're always grading papers," Emily half-groans, half-mumbles.

Alison giggles at Emily's sudden change in behavior, "I know. It's a shocking thing we teachers do."

"Why haven't I used the whole teacher-thing to my advantage yet?" Emily thinks out loud, earning a burst of laughter and a "Maybe next time" from Alison.

Emily leans back onto her bed, regaining her laying position from earlier as she now reaches for the TV remote and absentmindedly flips through the channels.

"Alright, babe, I really have to hang up now and finish these papers or my students won't be too happy," Alison exaggeratedly groans.

"If you must," Emily exhales loudly. "Alright, beautiful. I'll talk to you later. Goodnight and I love you," Alison smiles at Emily's pet name once again.

"Goodnight. I love you too," she responds with a smile stretching wide across her face.

Alison straightens her back, setting her phone down on the desk as she continues from where she left off, searching legal-related things on her browser. Her eyes trace over the various - and somewhat complicated - words when her phone chimes, signaling that she's gotten a text from someone. Of course, it's no other than her girlfriend who she had just said goodnight to.

Emily: "I know that I've asked ten times already, but... will you come over? Pleaseee, I'm begging you."

Alison chuckles before typing out a response and hitting send.

Alison: "Try ten thousand :) And I've already told you that I have to grade papers. You're so needy tonight, jeez."

The blonde has a huge smile stretched across her face as she places the phone back down and continues to read from where she left off on the computer's screen.

"No-fault and fault?" she whispers to herself as she continues scrolling through the information.

Her phone goes off again, a smile replacing her stoic expression.

Emily: "Why don't you just ditch them until tomorrow? Come on. A lot of teachers do that."

Alison: "Hmmm, you're so convincing ;) I might just be on my way."

Alison giggles to herself before going back to her research on divorces in the state of Pennsylvania. Not the most interesting topic, she muses.

"That's too long," she sighs to herself once she reads the same thing that Spencer had told her the night before.

Alison turns her computer off and leans back in her chair, closing her eyes and thinking of her future. What was in her future? How long would it take for her to begin her future with Emily? Three months? Four? There's just not enough time.

Emily: "You're such a tease Mrs. DiLaurentis. What am I ever going to do with you?"

Alison: "Well, Ms. Fields, you'll just have to find out, won't you?"

She grabs her purse from the floor, unzipping it and fumbling around through the many objects - which just seem to get in the way constantly - until she finds the torn piece of paper that she was looking for. Her phone goes off again as Emily's name appears in the notifications bar.

Emily: "I'm thinking a kiss or two?"

Alison: "That's all you've got?"

She wonders when they'll have the freedom to walk through town, hand in hand, as they enter The Brew for a morning coffee, or go to The Grille for a dinner date one night. If the divorce takes three months or longer, who's to say Emily will wait? She will, of course, but that's always stumped the blonde; Alison knows that she'll wait because it's Emily and, as long as they have each other, they can make it through anything that the universe decides to throw at them. But, on the other hand, why does Emily wait? She claims it's because she loves Alison, but the blonde still can't imagine anyone putting their life on hold for her.

She looks at the numbers scribbled across the torn, yellow paper that she holds in her hand as she swallows heavily before looking at her phone again.

Emily: "Maybe… maybe not ;)"

Alison: "I guess we'll just have to see what you've got, won't we?"

Closing her conversation with Emily, she goes to her keypad and enters in the ten digits that are written down. She wonders if this will be a good thing, or result in it blowing up in her face like usual. Before calling, she looks at the time once more and grimaces when she realizes that it's pretty damn late. Here goes nothing, she thinks before finally pressing the green phone icon. The line rings three times before a man picks up.

"Mr. Hastings? It's Alison… DiLaurentis."

---

How was the chapter?

Did y'all like it?

Anyway, thank you guys for the feedback on last chapter! We really appreciate it. Especially when you guys were complimenting us on the intimate parts. I swear lol, that's the first time I had ever wrote it. You guys are the best, your reviews always make us happy and I'm glad you enjoy this story so much.

Who's getting their Emison swag? Omfg the shirt picture they put ended me lmfao.

Now, to the PLL discussions *spoilers*

Omfg Emily getting hit by all those Emison feels in the first episode tho. When I heard Every Breath You Take's beat, I literally died lol. I was not expecting that at all.

Who was happy that Elliott finally died? I was kind of torn about it, because I started to enjoy his character (other than the fact that he was torturing Alison of course). Honestly, I love the villains of this show so much, Elliott was definitely my fav. Poor, Ali tho :( she didn't deserve any of it. Thank god she's free of his torture at least.

How about Emily basically throwing herself at Sabrina? Personally, I believe Em's feelings for Alison started to resurface when she saw Alison walk down the hall of Welby in 6x20. And now, she's distracting herself from Alison by trying to get with Sabrina. What are your theories on that? Actually, what's your theories on everything? Charlotte's murderer, Hanna's tormentor, What's up with Mary Drake, who is A.D., etc.

I feel like they're gonna do the whole twin thing from the books, and instead of it being Ali and Courtney, it's Jessica and Mary. It just ha a lot of similarities to me.

Anyway, I'll stop here before I keep on rambling lol. I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter, 14K, I think that's our longest yet.

Oh, and before I forget, go check out alcrev for more angst/sad Emison stories. There's a new multi story coming soon ;) you don't wanna miss it.

Review, Fav, and Follow guys! Lots of love to you readers