NOTE: Once again, sorry about the wait, and once again this was a really difficult chapter to write. ;) Enjoy!

Chapter Forty-two

"Can you make it up the stairs?"

"I think so."

"Here, let me help."

"Thank you, Master, but I..."

"Please, just 'Neal'."

"Neal..."

Before Peter could try to protest getting help up the stairs again Neal slipped in under his shoulder to offer some support. Peter gave in and accepted the gesture, finding that by the time they were nearing the top of the stairs he actually did need the assistance as the stress of the day and his general deconditioning chipped away at his strength. Getting home from the difficult appointment with the tailor Peter wanted to retreat to his own side of the apartment, check to see if Elizabeth had written to him. However Neal automatically lead him into the main quarters. Once inside Peter decided that he didn't mind the idea of having company at the moment.

Neal helped Peter over to the couch before ducking out from under his arm. Needing to rest Peter sat down, leaning back he flinched as his back rested up against the couch but he had healed enough that after a brief flash of pain he was able to relax. Neal went into the kitchen and opened the fridge. Pulling out two bottles of beer he opened them. Drinking almost half of his own before making it back to the couch Neal offered Peter the second one.

Peter hesitated for a moment but eventually took the offer and took a pull at the ice cold malt. It had been several years since he'd had any alcohol, it was something forbidden by the Market but Elizabeth had introduced him to beer in direct defiance of the law, It hadn't taken him long to acquire a taste for it and now enjoyed it all the more because it reminded him of her. He had refused wine the few times Neal had offered it to him, but Neal handed over the beer as if he instinctively knew that Peter would be more interested in it. He wasn't even sure when Neal had stocked up on beer since it wasn't something Peter had ever seen him drink before. Neal sat down next to Peter heavily looking pensive.

"Humans suck." Neal said very matter-of-factly.

"I've met a few here and there that I can stand, but generally I agree."

"I don't know how you do it. I wanted to break Harper's nose after about ten seconds."

"If I let every human that mistreated me get under my skin I'd be insane by now." Peter explained. "I hated every second of Harper casually forcing me perform for him, but I have bigger issues than him on my mind. The most important thing to me right now is blending in. I don't want to get taken away from you."

"I don't want that either." Neal assured. "I'd apologize for losing my temper with Harper, but I'm not sorry. He was way out of line. I understand that we can't act like friends, but that doesn't mean either of us have to put up with behavior like Harper's. I know I put you at risk by calling him out, but you're not a show pony."

"Harper was an extreme example of Master/Animula interaction. It's been a very long time since anyone's used physical cues with me. Most humans wouldn't dream of giving someone else's Animula orders like that."

"So you still trust me enough to go out with me again?"

"I do. You were well in your rights as a Master to tell him to stop, and I appreciated that you stood up against him both when he was showing you my cues and when he mentioned getting a collar for me. I was just worried that he had Market ties and our cover story is literally paper thin."

"If I has insulted him too much he might have looked me up in the data base."

"Exactly." Peter nodded. "Harper wasn't worth it."

"I disagree and I agree at the same time…if that makes any sense."

"It does." Peter took a pull at his beer, finding himself feeling a little light headed from it. "When it comes to humans I've learned to chose my battles very carefully."

"Have you ever won any of those battles?" Neal asked, but instantly thought better of it. "I'm sorry, you don't have to answer that."

"No, it's okay. I consider myself to have won some of them in my own way." Peter replied with a sad smile. "Outright defiance is punished severely, and I have to admit that I have bowed to the system many times to avoid pain and isolation. I have followed orders, and I've been forced to my knees more times than I care to count…but I always get back up again and I find other ways to consider myself successful even if equality has been kept out of my reach."

"I don't think I'd have that kind of strength."

"You can't know who you are until you've been tested. The Market and my Masters have relentlessly tried to take my sense of self away, and there have been times when they have succeeded. When I ended up with Cheng I lost myself completely, to the point of just passively waiting to welcome death, and yet here I am."

"Giving life another chance." Neal smiled.

"Exactly. I count that as having won." Peter smiled warmly. "I take pride in the fact that so far no matter how much they've taken from me I've always found more in myself…and finding someone new willing to look past my gold eyes even when I tried to push them away at first is an even greater victory."

"To victory."

Neal smiled as he held up his nearly empty beer bottle for Peter to clink his own against. Agreeing to the less than traditional toast Peter lifted up his own bottle and after a quick tap the pair drank to their unlikely friendship. Knowing he was quick to intoxicate and feeling the effects more acutely than usual Peter just sipped a small amount of the frothy beer as Neal drained the rest of his own. After a bit of silence Neal looked around the apartment as though he was seeing it for the first time and then made a noise of frustration.

"Neal?"

"I don't understand why the Market's con works." Neal replied. "People can't actually believe that you're born understanding 'pressure points'."

"Why not?" Peter asked seriously. "If I strike you in the knee just right you'll kick."

"That's just a reflex."

"The Market explains physical cues as being just like that. I used to even believe it myself."

"What?"

"I don't have any memory of being taught cues, I have almost no memories before my early teens. I just *knew* what my Masters wanted when I was touched. It felt like instinct." Peter explained. "I used to believe everything the Market told me about what it was to be Animula, I didn't have any other frame of reference."

"Please tell me that you didn't believe them when they said you didn't feel pain. "

"No, I never believed that." Peter replied darkly. "I was introduced to that concept on the very same day that I first wore a collar. My Market handler tried to convince me that I couldn't feel pain while at the same time using it to drop me to the floor. You can't tell a drowning man that water is just an illusion and expect it to make him feel any better. However that lie was never meant for me."

"It's so the Market can convince the masses that collars are 'humane'." Neal sighed sadly. "Just about everything they do is to keep humans from thinking too much about the fact that an entire section of the population is being victimized for profit."

"And they have thousands of year of fear and prejudice to help support them. Even when Animula were thought to be conduits to the gods they were still forced to the fringes of society, separated and isolated from humans."

"I don't know how to fight such a powerful and ingrained system."

"You changed your own heart about Animula, that's a good first step."

"I didn't change it on my own, you help me, and I can't be the first human who had their notions of Animula turned on their head by you."

"No…you're not the first." Peter confirmed with a hint of a smile.

"I suspected as much." Neal smiled at Peter encouragingly.

Peter studied Neal for a moment and found himself honestly contemplating telling him about Elizabeth. He didn't remember exactly what he may or may not have told Neal already while he was feverish or drugged, but the expectant look on Neal's face told him that he had at least hinted that he'd found his greatest victory in life with her. In the month they had spent together Peter had already confided far more in Neal than he had ever expected to. However when it came to Elizabeth he found himself unable to openly talk about her. Secrecy had been his only means for protecting her in the past, he couldn't bring himself to risk her now by divulging their connection. Even if Neal was a true ally his heart over head tendencies might cause him to seek her out before Peter knew he could offer her a future.

"Peter?"

"I'm sorry, you're going to have to liquor me up more than just one beer before I'm ready to talk about that."

"I can arrange that." Neal chuckled as leaned forward to get up.

"Not right now, please, I'm exhausted."

"Of course." Neal leaned back. "I didn't mean to push."

"Yes you did."

"You're right." Neal admitted. "Curiosity is one of my great weaknesses."

"Hopefully I can help teach you some patience." Peter smiled.

"You already have. I feel I've been pretty good about not asking for more information on this Renner character. Although eventually we are going to have to talk about him if you still want to target him."

"I have been having second thoughts. I was angry when I mentioned him. He thinks I'm dead. Showing myself to him would be foolish, he would instantly be motivated to destroy us both and he has that kind of power."

"I can con Renner without you." Neal offered. "I know you told me that you didn't want revenge, but I get the feeling he might be an exception?"

"I've never hated any Master the way I hate Renner."

"He was worse than Cheng?"

"Worse even than the Market." Peter muttered as he found his eyelids suddenly getting heavy.

"Wow, okay, now I might have to insist that you let me go after him. What did he do to you?"

After the difficult morning with Harper and the long talk they'd just had the last thing Peter wanted to do right now was get into a conversation about Renner. Peter shook his head, which made him realize how dizzy he was getting. He doubted that it was the half of a beer that he had consumed, it certainly wasn't helping, but he figured the real problem was over exertion. He had been tired when they had first returned to the apartment but he was starting to feel like he might actually pass out. With the adrenaline from their outing wearing off Peter's body had decided to remind him that he was still recovering.

"You look like you're about to drop." Neal noted. "Come on, you need to lay down."

Peter didn't argue, however he didn't want to just lay down on Neal's couch and he started to try to get to his feet. Seeing what he was doing Neal got up and helped Peter do the same. Concerned Peter might not make it to his his side of the hallway on his own Neal kept close. Buckling several times Peter barely made it to his own bed, sitting down heavily on the edge he went to just lay down. Neal kept him up a moment more and helped him get his jacket, tie, and shoes off before letting him lay down. Having slept on his stomach for the past month he found it natural to lay like that now as he closed his eyes.

Neal turned to leave assuming Peter was asleep already. With his eyes still close Peter reached out and took Neal's wrist to stop him. Furrowing his brow Neal noticed how warm Peter's touch had become, pressing his free hand against Peter's forehead revealed he was spiking another fever. Peter's temperature wasn't dangerously high, but it was a sign that his system hadn't been quite ready for the stressful day. With his hand still wrapped around Neal's wrist Peter forced his eyes open and stared up at him. He had the same conflicted look in his eyes that he'd had a few minutes ago when Neal had hoped that he was about to tell him more about Elizabeth.

"Peter?"

"Neal…" Peter battled to keep his eyes open "I need you to promise me something…promise me you won't confront any of my Masters without me."

"I promise." Neal assured. "Does that go double for Mistresses?"

"Triple." Peter replied as he closed his eye with a heavy sigh. "I'm just not ready."

"Understood."

"Thank you."

"Get some rest."

Peter didn't have a choice on sleep anymore, closing his eyes again he released Neal's wrist as he passed out. Neal stayed by his side for a moment to ensure that he was okay. Neal hoped that Peter wasn't hesitating to mention Elizabeth out of fear that Neal would keep them apart. He figured now wasn't really the time to press the issue, but he wanted to talk about it eventually. Rushing Peter into something he wasn't ready for wasn't going to help anyone, but his tone just before he'd passed out suggested to Neal that he was starting to feel like he might be ready to talk about his former Mistress. When Peter remained peaceful Neal quietly stepped out into the hallway. Neal contemplated if he needed a nap as well and came to the conclusion that what he really needed was some fresh air. Heading downstairs Neal opened the door and was surprised to find Mozzie on the far side looking flustered.

"Neal," Mozzie said urgently as he look into the house "you're alone? Good. We need to talk."

"Moz…"

More agitated than usual Mozzie gestured for Neal to step outside rather than invite himself in. Confused Neal stepped out onto the front landing and Mozzie reached behind him to close the door behind him for added privacy in case Peter came down the stairs. Mozzie's nervous energy had Neal was starting to worry that he had somehow gotten word that the Market was looking for Peter. Neal had rarely seen Mozzie so worked up, he looked like he was about to crawl out of his own skin.

"Mozzie…"

"Peter has a wife." Mozzie interrupted quickly.

"What?"

"Not legally of course, I don't really know the details, but I saw a picture, and she's still wearing the ring, I just came from her apartment, she thinks Peter is…"

"Woah, wait, slow down." Neal demanded in an angry hiss. "You talked to her?"

"I didn't tell her anything, I just wanted to…"

Neal stopped Mozzie again by reaching up and putting his hand over Mozzie's mouth. Movement by the gate at the end of the walk way up to the house had caught his attention. Seeing how Neal's focus had been captured by something Mozzie didn't protest being silenced. Neal held his breath as he stared at the gate that Mozzie had left open looking to see if the intruder would show themselves. It was hard to know if someone at that distance could understand any of the conversation that had happened but they would certainly be able to detect the silence.

Neal was about to pull Mozzie inside to find a place to continue their conversation in private when a raven haired woman with pale blue eyes reddened by tears stepped out from her hiding place. Catching site of her himself Mozzie tensed in surprise, clearly not having expected to have been followed. She didn't approach, but she didn't look like she was going to leave either. Mozzie hadn't given him a name but there was no doubt in Neal's mind that this the woman behind the one code that Peter wore on his arm with enough pride to have underlined it in blood. Neal thought to himself about how his promise to Peter not to make contact with any of his Masters hadn't lasted long even by his standards, but now that she was standing here he couldn't just send her away.

"Hello, Elizabeth. Please, come inside."

"Who are you?"

"A friend."