Author's Note: Hi. So, as I said in the last chapter, this is basically a flashback chapter. I hope you like it and I look forward to hearing what you think.

Chapter Seventeen

"Wanna toss a football around after school?" George asked as the two best friends got books out of their lockers.

"Can't." Wade answered, "I gotta stop at the pharmacy and pick somethin' up for my mom."

"Oh." George said awkwardly. He knew about what was going on with Wade's mom, of course, but they never really talked about it. Wade never seemed to want to talk, and if he were being honest, George was relieved. He wouldn't know what to say. "Well, maybe some other time then."

Wade nodded, closing his locker.

"Hello George. Wade." A perky voice from behind them said. Both boys turned, Wade with a little more grace than George.

"Hey Lemon." Wade said.

George didn't say anything. His eyes were a little wider than usual. He was grinning like an idiot and kept trying to swallow. This wasn't new. George always got this way around Lemon Breeland, well, since the beginning of Eighth Grade anyway. The three of them had sort of been friends in elementary, but when they entered middle school, the boys and the girls had sort of split, as was not unusual. However, ever since the school year started, George had been obsessively crushing on the Queen Bee. It wouldn't be that big a deal, except that George turned into a babbling idiot around her, and that was if he could talk at all.

Wade nudged George as subtly as he could, "Um, hi, hey, Lemon, hey, hi."

Wade winced. He felt for his friend, he really did. And the craziest thing was that a lot of girls liked George, meaning it shouldn't be that hard for him to catch Lemon's attention. Wade had told George countless times that he had a lot of girls crushing on him, but George just didn't see it. Maybe that was a good thing though. George wasn't arrogant, and that was part of his charm. If George knew how popular he really was, Wade probably wouldn't like to hang around him so much. As it was, it was hard. George had everything Wade didn't, popularity, grades, brains, money, etc. It would be pretty easy to hate the guy actually, but George was like his brother. Strike that, George was like the brother Wade wished he had; Wade's actual brother was kind of an ass.

"You think we got a good chance against Filmore?" Lemon asked.

She was referencing the game their middle school was playing against a school in Filmore this weekend. George knew that, of course; he was on the team. However, Wade could tell from George's expression that his Lemonitis was blocking both his memory, and his motor skills, so Wade decided to intervene.

"Are you kidding? With George and I leading the team to glory, how can we lose?" He clapped George on the back, hard, hoping to shake him out of his daze.

"Absolutely." George said.

"Well, that's good. I hate cheerin' for a lost 'cause."

"So, you'll be there?" George asked. Wade wanted to smack him. Lemon was a cheerleader. Of course she was going to be there.

"Well, yeah, we all will. But it's nice to know we'll have someone out there worth cheerin' for."

"Thanks." George said confidently. Wade prayed George would stop there. No such luck, "Assumin' you meant me. I mean, I didn't mean to assume anything, because it's a team effort, and you could have meant anybody on the team but, you know, if you meant me, thanks."

Lemon nodded, "Well, we gotta get to class." She said, motioning over her shoulder to her posse of cheerleaders and future belles, "But I'll see you at the game."

"Absolutely. Definitely. I'll see ya."

"Bye." Wade said, cutting George off.

Once Lemon was gone, George let out a huge breath, "Why can't I ever seem to talk to her."

" 'Cause you're all into her." Wade said, stating the obvious.

"It seems to come so natural to you."

"Yeah, 'cause I'm not all into her."

"Yeah, but, in general."

Wade rolled his eyes. It was true that things had taken a bit of a turn for him lately. Wade had always been the poor, slow kid with the ripped hand-me-down clothes, and girl's tended to turn their noses up at him. However, this year, he had noticed them treating him a bit different. He knew why too. It was all those years of helping his dad out with jobs. Mr. Kinsella wasn't the most educated, so he tended to get jobs involving manual labor, and Wade had been helping him out for as long as he could remember. It was a little more lately. Ever since his mom got sick, his dad had been distant, and Wade had to pick up the slack. It wasn't so bad though. Truth was, Wade liked that kind of work. It was simple and he knew he could do it. It was also great for blowing off steam.

Anyway, Wade used to be kind of scrawny, but since puberty, the years of manual labor and kicking a football around with George had started to pay off. And some of the girls he went to school with seemed to be noticing. He had to admit, it felt kind of nice. After years of every girl's eye going straight to George, he was starting to get noticed. It made talking to girls a little easier somehow.

"I don't know man, guess we all have our talents."

"What's wrong with you man? You seem totally out of it." George said. Wade could tell he was trying to control his temper. As a friend, he had to be understanding, but as team captain, he had to focus on the win, and Wade had been out of it all day.

The truth was, Wade had been up late helping his mother. She was getting worse, and he hated that he couldn't fix her as easily as he could fix a Camaro. The staying up with her was becoming a regular thing actually; he had been up helping her every night this week. He was falling asleep in class, and his grades, while they had never been stellar, kept dropping lower and lower with each passing day. Wade knew people were noticing. He couldn't even stay on his game for football, one of the few things he was actually good at.

"Relax Tucker, it's just a practice, okay. And we're just some lame middle school team goin' to play another lame middle school team. Not like anyone cares." Wade knew he was being mean, but he felt he had the right.

"If it's so lame, why are you even here?"

Wade stood, "You know, you're right. I got better things to do." Like sleep he thought.

Before George could stop him, Wade was heading for the lockers. For whatever reason, he couldn't seem to find his stuff. Then, he heard a high-pitched screech. Turning, he saw one of the girls from the cheer squad starring at him.

"Wrong locker-room?" he asked. She nodded, giggling a little. Wade scratched at the back of his head, "Well, that explains why I couldn't find my stuff. I'll get out of your hair."

She gave him a look that he had been getting way too much since his mom got sick. It was a look of pity, and it always made him want to punch a wall.

He didn't know what he was doing, not really. He just knew he had to do something to make her stop looking at him like the poor boy with the sick mom. He inched toward her until she was up against the locker. She was looking up at him, and the pitying look was gone. It was replaced by one of confusion and nerves. He could hear how heavily she was breathing, and in that moment, he realized two things. One, right now, because of what he was doing, and because of how he looked, he had power over this girl. And two, he kind of liked it. For once, he could control the situation. He could walk away, or he could move closer, but whichever he chose, he somehow knew she would let him. Maybe there were still some things in his life he had control over. He couldn't make his mom better, his dad richer, or himself smarter, but this, this he could control. Making the decision in that moment, Wade ducked his head down, locking lips with the blonde cheerleader whose name he didn't even know.

It was kind of awkward at first. After all, Wade had never kissed anybody before. Still, he figured he got the hang of it pretty quickly because the girl's hands and gone around his neck and then moved up to his hair, and she was pulling like she was holding on for dear life. It kind of hurt, but Wade watched enough TV to know that this was the kind of reaction he wanted, so he kept doing what he was doing, enjoying the feel of her lips on his and her tongue in his mouth, trying to ignore the intense headache she was giving him.

A loud noise caught their attention, pulling them both apart. The noise had come from the cheerleading coach, who had blown on her whistle and was looking at them disapprovingly. She wasn't the only one looking either. The locker-room was filled with gaping cheerleaders. Wade tried to think what to do, and he thought about the fact that every second that these girls witnessed would be all over the school by next period. He knew he had to play it cool, act like it was no big deal. He shrugged as if to say, 'whatever, happens all the time.'

"Mr. Kinsella, are you aware that this is the girl's locker-room?" the cheer coach asked.

He shrugged again, trying to think on his feet, "Well, I considered havin' a make-out session in the boy's locker-room, but I figured I'd have better options in here."

The responses he got were a cross between gasps and giggles.

"Principal now!"

"Okay, but I think I'm a bit young for her." Wade said, backing out of the room, trying not to shrink from the coach's glare.

The school called his home, and he hated that his mom had to deal with the stress. Other than that though, it seemed to have been a good move. He got detention for a few weeks, but it was well worth it. Word of the locker-room encounter had spread like wildfire, and each version was more extreme then the last. By week's end, everything had changed for Wade. For the first time, he wasn't the poor kid, the one with the sick mom, Jesse's brother, or George Tucker's friend. He was Wade Kinsella, school stud, and it felt really good.

March of 1998, his mom passed, and Wade couldn't seem to shake his anger. The angrier he got, the more girls he made out with. He didn't know why exactly. Maybe it was about the control, the thing he had lacked when it came to his mom's illness. He still hadn't had sex though. Of course, he told his friends he had, and they seemed to believe him, but the truth was, Wade hadn't really gone farther with a girl than he had with that cheerleader.

Then, summer came, and with summer came Betty Breeland; Betty was Lemon's cousin (Lemon and George were a couple by this point, and George had learned how to talk around her, which was a godsend). Every summer for as long as Wade could remember, Betty came down for a visit. This year was no different.

One day, she stopped by the Kinsella's. Wade was trying to fix up the old family car; the deal had always been he could have it if he could get it to run.

"Hey." He heard a tiny voice say.

Turning, he saw Betty, "Hi." He said, nodding at her.

"Mind if I hang around for a while. I usually spend time with Lemon on these trips, but since she and George …" she trailed off.

"I know what you mean. They're in this lovey-dovey honeymoon phase. Completely disgusting."

Betty nodded, "Exactly."

"Well, you can hang around. Even help me out if you like."

"I don't know much about cars." She said with a chuckle.

Wade shrugged, "It's easy. Come 'ere." Betty headed over to Wade and he handed her a wrench. "Now, that needs to be screwed in." Wade said, pointing, "You ever used a wrench before?"

"No, but I seen them bein' used on This Old House."

Wade chuckled, "Well, you think you can handle it?"

"Only one way to find out I guess." She said, trying to turn the wrench. She squeezed it so hard her hands turned white, but she couldn't get the stupid thing to budge.

"Here," Wade said, chuckling again, "Let me help."

Wade stood behind her and directed her arms, "See," he said, pulling away and wiping the sweat from his forehead, "It's all about technique."

Betty laughed, "No, it's all about you bein' stronger 'an me."

Wade smiled. He hadn't had this much fun since before his mom passed.

"Thanks for keepin' me company." Betty said.

"Likewise." Betty looked down sadly, "Hey, what's wrong?"

The girl shrugged, "It's just, I guess I was really hopin' to get to spend some time with Lemon. She's kind of my best friend."

Wade laughed, "Lemon? Really? I mean, no offense to your cousin, but you can do better."

Betty shook her head, "Actually I can't. Can you keep a secret?" Wade nodded, "Back home, I'm sort of a wallflower type."

"Seriously?" she nodded, "You've never seemed-"

"Oh, yes I have. I put on a front here. Bein' a Breeland gives me status, and not bein' from around here can explain me bein' quiet all the time, but believe me, I'm a wallflower. I have next to no friends. Lemon's goin' on and on about her and George and how she plans to lose it to him, and I feel so awkward because not only am I a virgin, I can barely even talk to a boy."

"You don't seem to have any trouble talkin' to me." Wade said kindly.

"That's different. You're Wade."

"Meanin' what exactly?" Wade asked, suddenly offended.

"I just mean I know I can trust you."

He chuckled, "Most girls 'round here wouldn't say that. In fact, I've got quite a reputation. Guess you haven't heard-"

"Oh, I've heard all the rumors. But I've known you since I was a little girl, and I remember how sweet you always were. I remember how when I dropped my popsicle and started cryin' you gave me yours, and I remember how you held my hand durin' swimmin' lessons 'cause I was too scared to jump in by myself." Wade smiled. He remembered too. "I've always felt so shy around people, but you, I always knew I could trust."

Wade smiled, "Thanks. I don't hear that sort of thing often." They stood in silence for a while, and then, Wade was kissing her. It wasn't passionate and hungry like kisses usually were for him. It was sweet and simple. He wasn't even sure why he did it. And he really, really wasn't sure why he said what he said next, "You know, I can help with that virginity thing if you want. Dad and Jesse are out."

Betty looked at him surprised and Wade kicked himself, trying to figure out why he would say something like that, and to Lemon's cousin of all people. Maybe it was because she was being so nice and she knew he was more than what people said about him. Maybe it was because he knew what it was like to want to get something out of the way.

"I don't know." Betty said skeptically, "It's not like I have much experience."

"Can I tell you a secret?" Wade asked, "Me neither."

"You've never-"

"No." he said before kissing her again, "So, what do you say? You wanna do this?"

She thought for a minute, and then nodded her head. Wade led her into the house and up to his room.

It wasn't like the stories he had made up to tell his friends, where he knew exactly what he was doing, and the girl screamed like she'd seen god. It was awkward and imperfect, but, it was real, and that was enough.

They did it a few times; both of them felt awkward, and they kind of wanted to practice. It seemed to help a little. Of course, Wade knew it would take more than a few times with Betty Breeland to make him as good as he needed to be. Right now, make-out king was enough, but they were starting high school soon, and he knew he had to up his game if he wanted to stay ahead of the curve. After all, this was all he had.

Wade spent the rest of his free time during the summer trying to make the reputation he had built up a reality. It helped that he was in a band. Kids were always having summer parties when the parents were out, Wade and his band would play, and he'd go off with some girl who was so impressed with how good he was at the guitar. Practice made him better, and he got tips from Janitor Monty who, thankfully, would also be around when he started high school. He was the Janitor for elementary, middle, and high school; you gotta love small towns. By the time school started, he felt that he had earned the reputation he had, and he liked that. He went to school and he was a king. He played football and guitar, and girls swooned and all wanted to say that they had gotten with Wade Kinsella.

It was a great distraction. But then, he'd go home, and he'd see his dad drinking and his mom's empty bed. For the first time in his life, he wished school were longer. Before she passed, he would come home and see his mom getting worse by the minute, and he hated it so much. Now, he would give anything to have those days back. Seeing her sick was hard, but it was better than not seeing her at all. He knew she had been in pain, and that it was better this way, better that she was at peace. Still, sometimes, he just wished …

He had learnt to deal though. Earl hadn't, but maybe someday he would, though that was becoming less and less likely with each alcohol induced coma.

Wade's alarm went off. It was time for him to get up and get ready for school. Slowly, he dragged himself out of bed and looked for something clean to wear. Then he went downstairs, grabbed a quick breakfast, and headed off to school, leaving behind deep thoughts and past secrets that were his and his alone.