Author's note: Logan's inner thoughts are in italics. I don't own anything.
He barely sleeps that night. His mind is racing, trying to figure out what has gone wrong. So I was an asshole to Jess. So what? He deserved it for creeping up on my girl. Stupid emo hair. I bet he didn't even write that book. Just wanted to get in Rory's pants.
That can't have been it. Things were fine before I left for Omaha. Maybe two days apart was all she needed to realize that I just don't make her happy. Add her name to the list- right behind Mom, Dad, and Grandpa.
This epiphany leads Logan down a dark path. He spends Saturday with a case of beer, binge-watching his box set of The Twilight Zone. He watches "The Long Morrow" three times before pulling out the disc and snapping it. True love is bullshit.
On Sunday, Logan sleeps late. When he finally gets up and turns on his phone, he finds missed calls from Colin, Finn, Lanny, and Honor. Nothing from Rory. It hurts more than anticipated.
"Fuck her," he says out loud. I don't mean that.
"She needs space?" he continues aloud. "She was the one who wanted all of this to start." And I love it.
"She's the one who says she loves me." Only because I am a chickenshit.
"Fine. Let her miss me." God, I hope she does. "Because I don't need her. Logan Huntzberger is back."
He spends the day watching NFL on the plasma. He ignores his phone because he isn't ready to talk to people. The Giants win, so it's a better day than yesterday.
He falls asleep on the couch after too much scotch. His plan to call other girls is put on hold as he can't stop thinking about Rory. Logan Huntzberger is definitely not back.
Monday morning arrives too soon. For the first time, Logan is glad that Rory dropped out of Yale. There is no possibility of seeing her. He can't, however, avoid Colin, who is waiting for him outside of their ECON class.
"Where the hell have you been? I have been trying to get a hold of you for days!"
Logan stares at him blankly.
"I left messages."
"Oh, sorry, I was… studying." God, can't I even make up a believable excuse?
"Oh, okay…it's just…Rory hadn't heard from you either, and I was almost worried about you. The old Logan could have been in jail in Atlantic City," Colin laughs.
"When did you talk to Rory?" he asks sharply.
"When Finn and I were moving her stuff."
What the hell is he talking about? "Moving her stuff where?"
"To Stars Hollow. Have you not talked to Rory about this?"
"Um…no." If she's moving home, she must have made up with Lorelei. "So you…and Finn…moved her stuff from her Grandparents…to Stars Hollow?" Logan tries to wrap his head around this.
"Yeah, yesterday. Have you not even listened to your messages?"
How dare she? How dare she leave me and ask my friends to help her do it?
"I need to get in and get a seat. I'll catch up with you later." Logan pushes his way into the lecture hall and chooses a seat down front where he knows Colin won't follow him.
He does not hear one word of the lecture. Is this how it works? You suddenly stop knowing someone who used to know everything about you? She made up with her mom and moved home, and I find out about it from Colin? Why didn't she tell them she dumped me while she was at it?
When the class ends, Logan slowly gets his things together and heads to the back of the classroom, hoping Colin will already be gone. However, when he turns the corner out of the lecture hall, both Colin and Finn are waiting for him.
Shit. "Finn, what are you doing here?"
"Well, Colin let me know you were alive and well, and I just wanted to come over and see for myself."
Logan walks faster. "Sorry I worried everyone. As you can see, I'm fine." Please don't make me talk about this.
"Great. Let's hit the pub then. A pint or two should do the trick."
"No can do. I have a ton of stuff to do before I can leave for Thanksgiving." Just give me these two days, and I will be fine when I get back from the break.
"Like what?" Colin asks nonchalantly.
Quick- something more believable than studying. "Newspaper. I have an article due." Actually, true.
"Seriously, Logan. What is going on?"
He stops walking and turns to face his two oldest friends. He pleads with his eyes, but he can tell they are not going to let it drop. "We broke up. Rory and I did."
"When?" Colin asks, just as Finn says "What happened, mate?"
Truthfully, I'm not good enough for her, and it only took two days away from me for her to realize it.
Instead he says, "It was just getting too intense, too much." This is also truthful. It was making me a jealous, insecure dick. "It's not a big deal. I just need a break. The boyfriend experiment is over. It was a dumb idea anyway, right?"
Logan sees them glance at each other. "Seriously, guys, I am fine. But I really do need to go and finish my article." He takes off before they can ask him anything else.
Logan goes straight to his apartment and heads to the kitchen for liquor. He eyes a bottle of Patron. He doesn't normally choose tequila, but lately, he always has some in the apartment. Tequila makes Ace frisky.
He pours himself a shot. Suddenly, his eyes well up. What is wrong with me? This is crazy. She is just a girl…
He pushes the shot away and walks over to his computer. He really does need to finish his article. It is his only byline this semester, and Doyle is a meticulous editor.
He notices how full his inbox is. He hasn't checked his email since Friday morning in Omaha. He clicks in, and his heart almost stops. There is a message from Rory. Maybe she's changed her mind. He opens it hopefully.
"All in all, solid article. I would add a few more quotes to your fourth paragraph, just to flesh out your point. I also fixed a couple of typos. Great work, Huntzberger. I can't wait to see you tomorrow!
Love, Rory
This is from before…She proofed my article. She couldn't wait to see me. She loved me. How could she break up with me six hours later? What the fuck?
It must be Jess. She saw him, and she wants him. Not me. Maybe that's why she moved back to Stars Hollow... She is probably with him right now...Letting him kiss her. Touch her. Be inside her.
This time the tears actually spill over. He wipes them away quickly, embarrassed, even though he is alone.
Without reading it again (it's Rory-proofed), he forwards his article to Doyle and goes back to the kitchen for that shot of Patron.
Logan awakens the next day to a massive headache, but he is determined to get on with his life. It was a dumb experiment. He repeats this over and over in hopes of it feeling true.
He turns in a paper in International Relations and attends his Web-based Marketing class. Normal day. I can do this. Who cares if Rory is with some punk who wrote a book? It was a dumb experiment. He is done with school until next week, and the break couldn't come soon enough.
His cell phone rings, snapping Logan out of his own head. He checks the caller ID. Honor. He does not want to talk to her, but he knows he can't avoid this conversation forever.
"Hey Honor."
"Were you ever going to call me back?"
"I was. Today actually. Just finished my last class before break."
"Sure, whatever… So I hate that you are going to the Gilmores' for Thanksgiving. I totally understand wanting to avoid Mom and Dad though. I just wanted to have one last Turkey Day in the house before I get married."
"Oh, I'm not going anymore." I wonder if I need to call Emily. How do manners dictate I decline an invitation when I am no longer welcome? "I can be home. Are you coming?"
"Yes. I'll be there on Thursday morning. Is Rory going to come with you?"
"No." Maybe if I don't elaborate, she'll let this drop…
"Okay, spill it." And not a chance…
"We broke up."
"When? What happened?"
Logan sighed. At least I can tell Honor the truth. "I'm not totally sure. I acted like an asshole last weekend, and she dumped me."
"Logan, why were you being an asshole?" The disappointment is evident in her tone.
"It's a long story. I don't want to talk about it." Apparently I can't even tell Honor the truth- that Rory left me for some whiny, tortured novelist... Whatever. It was a dumb experiment.
"Are you okay?"
After a beat, he answers truthfully. "No."
"Well, come home tomorrow then. I will too, and we'll forget all about Rory Gilmore… I know! You can come back to the city with me for the weekend. It'll be fun."
"Yeah, okay, maybe…" he replies flippantly.
"No maybes, baby brother. I will see you tomorrow. I love you, Logan. You are going to be fine."
"Thanks, Honor. I love you too."
He and Honor spend the next two days avoiding their parents as much as possible. They play his old PS2 and listen to music. They smoke weed, and he listens to Honor ramble about wedding plans.
At Thanksgiving dinner, he even manages to skirt all of his mother's questions about Rory's whereabouts. ("You've been terrible to her. Why would I subject her to this house?" he lays into Shira.)
The meal finally ends, and the staff begins clearing the table. He stands, ready to escape back to his room. Just when he thinks he is home-free, Mitchum claps him on the back. "Logan, nightcap?"
I love how he can phrase demands as questions.
He follows his father into his study. He sits down on the leather couch silently and looks at all the books as his father closes the doors and pours the scotch. Ace would have loved this room.
"Tell me about your grades this semester."
Logan breathes a sigh of relief. This semester, I can talk about grades. "Finals are in 2 weeks, and unless something goes horribly wrong, I should be getting all A's, maybe one B in Economics."
"Excellent. I assume this is Rory's influence?"
Logan remains silent. Maybe I can't talk about grades.
"Will we see her at all over the holidays?" his father presses on. "I know we haven't always behaved properly, but it's time we start making up for that. I promise I'll keep your mother in line."
"No. I don't think you'll see her." He does not want to talk to his father about this.
Mitchum stares at him for what feels like an eternity. Fine. "We broke up…but please don't tell Mom. I can't give her the satisfaction," he pleads.
"Of course not. Telling her would mean that I would have to spend my holidays entertaining Ashley Fallon and her insipid parents," Mitchum smirks. "How are you doing?"
Logan looks up. He and his father have never discussed anything personal. "Fine," he lies.
Mitchum continues to stare at him, causing Logan to shift uncomfortably. No wonder he is such a good reporter. This hurts. "I feel shitty. But I am trying to get to fine," he admits. "How long will this take?" he asks tentatively.
"In my experience, it can take a long time, but it will happen. Just find another girl to distract you until it does."
Logan hesitates. "I can't even imagine touching another girl."
Now it is Mitchum's turn to shift uncomfortably. Okay. Father-son bonding over.
Logan stands up and says "Never mind. It's not important. I'll see you in the morning." He sets his drink down on the wet bar and starts to the door.
"Probably for the best anyway. I've decided to put you in the London office next year."
Logan stops in his tracks. "What? I thought I would be in Manhattan."
"Well, I discussed it with some of the Board at the meetings in Omaha. The London office is young, and they are working on increasing our web presence. We think it will be a good fit for you. A least a year, maybe more. It's time to grow up, son."
Logan looks blankly at his father, realizes there is no argument to be had, and turns around to leave the room.
This week just keeps getting better and better.
After he closes the door to his bedroom, he strips down to his boxers and climbs under the covers. Honor has done a good job distracting him during the day, but his memories are still eating him alive in the dark.
Their first conversation, when he intentionally goaded her just to keep her from walking away.
Last spring break, when she had teased him unmercifully when he just could not have any more sex.
How she had kissed him wildly and begged him to take her on that stolen yacht.
He thinks of all the memories they won't get to make. I guess I can cancel the skiing trip over winter break. And no Vineyard for Valentine's Day.
His tears begin flowing again before he finally falls asleep.