Contracts with Kuroko

by RainingForMe

Kuroko is a summoner-one that is strong yet invisible to the world. When one day he is called to summon in class-his teacher choosing from a list of names-his summon call not only attracts one creature, but six of them! An absolute angel, a lazy devil, a perverted hell dog, a fate believing wind spirit, a clingy kitsune, and a short tempered fire tiger, oh boy.

3. I'm Sorry - Hiatus

I'll be going into hiatus for a while. I'm sorry to all my readers and followers, but...I'm just a mess right now. I don't want to ruin my stories because I'm messed up and depressed right now. I'll try feeling better - to move on and continue to write. For now, I just need a break. I'm sorry for not updating sooner and that this comes in and I have to stop for a while. Thank you all for the support and I hope you will still be there for me when I am back.

I also hope you don't mind that I get this off my chest:

It's...a shuddering feeling

I'm shivering, yet I don't feel cold

I'm scared because I didn't react humanely

I should be sad

I should be wailing

I should be cursing the world for being unfair

I should be going insane with rage and desperation

I should be yelling that I want him back

I should be on my knees wallowing in despair

I should be….but I'm not

I just feel empty

Is something wrong with me

I can't comprehend what's happening

I can't tell where I am

I am trying to cope

I am trying, but

I feel like I'm ignoring everything

I can't focus on anything

I need to let go, but

I can't.

I remember that I've got it better

I am empty

I am not my aunt who is shocked and unable to go inside the place he lied

I am empty

I am not my aunt who saw the bullet and watched him fall

I am empty

I am not my aunt who knows her newborn child won't ever meet her grandfather

I am empty

I am not my aunt who is left to cover her children's eyes from the dark truth

I am empty

I am not my father who is silent as he grieves

I am empty

I am not my little sister who wails in another's lap with heartache

I am empty

I am not my little brother who exhibits his hurt through games

I am empty

I am not my little brother who claims fantasy without death

I am empty

I am not my mother who gathers herself around others and forgets

I am empty

I'm just empty...and crying for them

I feel my eyes are full of tears, but my heart is dry

I don't remember when the emptiness has been this bad

I didn't know this is how I would cope

I'm empty..but I miss him

I miss his smile

I miss his humming

I miss his smoky smell and warm embrace

I miss his laugh

I miss his weird habits

I miss him, but

I am empty of tears and of mind

...

How do I fix this?