Raven couldn't believe what she had just heard. In a normal situation she would have been interested in the girl's rendezvous, ask her questions about it and been excited for her. That was what friends did, even if Raven did not see the excitement of it. Sex was something normal, why make a big deal about it? But that name. It could always be possible that there was another Finn, it was actually probable. No need to panic, Raven. Maybe it's not him, maybe... So they're not just friends. "Finn?" she asked out loud, wanting to make sure that she was wrong. Wanting to hear that it wasn't the same Finn that she had been dating for a week. "Finn from the study group?"
"Yeah! Finn Collins, he's in our class, remember?" Clarke giggled, oblivious to the meaning of her words to the other. In front of her, Raven seemed to become frozen, gaze lost and lips parted in surprise. She needed a moment to accept the confirmation of what she was afraid of. Finn was cheating on her, exactly a week after asking her out. They had been dating for just a week. A week. This had surely been the shortest relationship she had ever had. "So we were hanging out and he kissed me, and damn, he really knows how to kiss." the blonde laughed, falling silent when she realized that Raven had stood up. "What's wrong?"
"I have to go…" she spoke softly, standing up and taking her small bag she had brought with herself. She did not really carry personal belongings, just her phone and keys, but she preferred that to a purse. Another thing that differenced her from the other girls in her school, she thought to herself. She would never be like them, and she did not that want anyway. She would never show how much it hurt, even if tears had started pooling in her eyes. No, she couldn't show weakness. She was new in the school, she was not let another fuckboy ruin that for her. "We, uh, talk another day…"
"Raven? What's wrong?" Clarke asked, but before she was able to finish her sentence Raven was already rushing downstairs. Following her, the girl called the other with confusion. They walked past the blonde's startled mother and out of the house. There Raven stopped, turning around and swallowing hard. "What's wrong?" she repeated again with concern, ignoring the older woman's presence behind her.
"I'm dating Finn… he asked me out last week." was her only response as she turned around and ran away from the house. Tears finally ran down her cheek as she realized how stupid she had been. How could have she believed, even for just a second, that someone would find her special? How could have she thought that she'd fit in that group of friends, or that it would be that easy to find someone actually interested in her? She was just a mechanic girl from a small but still nice neighborhood in the city, but nothing more. She was used to receive accusatory, disgusted faces because of her looks, her skin tone or her manners. A stupid school uniform and a scholarship won't ever change that, Raven. Stop being so fucking stupid.
She was so deeply lost in her thoughts that she did not notice Abby running to the door and calling her.
Three hours later, the sun was setting. Raven's fists were ruthlessly punching the old bag that hung from the basement's ceiling. With her father's name on it, the girl had always found the black and red object an essential part of the house. It had been a gift from the man's fellow soldiers when he had told them he'd have a child. You'll need it, kids can be stressing, they had told him. The gift contrasted so much with all the colorful baby clothes and furniture, it had been hilarious. Raven still laughed at the story of that day, which her father had told so many times. The punching bag hadn't been placed somewhere else in the eighteen years she had lived in this house. Despite being in the basement, it did not have a layer of dust. Every two nights, the girl would come down and clean it, praying to a god she did not really believe in that her father would be alright 'up there'. Her father came from an extremely religious family, and Raven had always wanted to respect his memory by praying for him.
That day, though, she was not cleaning the punching bag. She had decided to use it once again, like now she used to do every once in a while to get rid of stress or worries. "Fucking. Finn. Collins" she muttered, giving the bag a punch with each word. "Fucking. jerk. I. hope. you. fucking. die. I. hate. you. I hate you. I hate you. I fucking hate you." Her hands hurt, her knuckles were pale now. "Cheater, you. deserve. nothing. Fucking. jerk." she grunted with complete rage. Then she stopped, knowing that if she kept punching the bag her hands would bleed. Her thoughts changed to Clarke, not knowing if she had to blame her or not. No, she did not do anything wrong. If she told me, it's because she did not know. That would be mean, and Clarke is not like that, I know it. She sighed and prepared herself to go back to delivering punches. It was then when the doorbell rang, distracting her. Who could be at that hour? Letting out a sigh, the girl turned and took a towel, drying her sweat as she walked upstairs and to the front door. Draping the towel over her shoulders, she opened it. "Abby?"
The woman smiled and raised the bags that she carried. "I brought something for dinner." she spoke, watching Raven hesitate for a few seconds before stepping aside and letting her in. Abby walked inside and searched for the kitchen, then left the bags on the counter. "I saw you run away from my house before, I thought you'd want some company. I don't know why, and you don't have to tell me." she spoke, not looking at the girl as she took fruits and vegetables out of the bags. Finally gazing at Raven for a second, the woman noticed the sweat on her skin, her eyes widening. "Go take a shower, I'll start cooking dinner."
"Abby, what are you—" Raven started, being quickly interrupted by the woman. Abby walked towards her and wrapped her arms around the girl, embracing her. Raven's body stiffened, not expecting the woman to do so, but slowly relaxed. She raised her hands to the woman's back, and letting out a sigh, she inhaled the scent of the woman's perfume. It smell like some sort of fruit, but she was not sure which. I'll ask her someday.
"I wanted to make sure you're okay, that's it." Abby said, running her hand down Raven's ponytail before pulling back. Straightening her clothes, the woman sighed— Is she blushing? "Go take a shower. I'll cook dinner, and maybe do some cleaning. When you are done we'll have dinner. Okay?"
"Okay."
"Abby," Raven started, lying down on the couch with her head on the woman's lap. They had eaten a rice dish that the girl did not know existed, and then had agreed to watch some musical movie. Raven could feel herself become sleepy, but still did not want to close her eyes without saying what kept crossing her mind. "I'm sorry I ran away from the house before without saying goodbye…" she said, feeling the woman caress her hair with her hand and hum. "It's just that, this guy, Finn, he was— well, technically he still is— my boyfriend." The woman's hand stopped moving for a second. Raven couldn't help but wonder what the woman would be thinking about own her daughter. Still, she had to keep talking. "We've been dating for just a week, and it seems that, uh, well…" Should she say that he had had sex with Clarke that night? Would the girl's mother know? "He slept with another girl tonight."
"Clarke." the woman muttered, making the girl turn her face to look at her. With a small tilt of her lips, the woman stared down at Raven and pushed aside a strand of hair from her face. "I saw her this morning with a boy, I was so shocked that I... I was not sure if I was right and it was Finn who I had seen…" she sighed. Going to caress the girl's hair again, she kept speaking. "Clarke told me. At first, well... she yelled at me. Saying that it was none of my business and that crap." Raven's eyes widened, hearing the woman curse for the first time. It was so unusual to hear the uptight principal say such words! "But then she broke down, I don't know why. She was sobbing, and when I went to hug her she yelled at me to not to, so I only could watch from the door." the woman's voice was now full of an obvious, painful sadness. Raven couldn't help but swallow hard and raise her hand, cupping the woman's face. None of them spoke for many seconds, each fighting back the tears that threatened with running down their faces. Still, the silence was enough for both of them, enjoying the comfort it gave them. "Anyway," the woman only whispered now, not wanting to disturb their peace. "She told me you were dating him, and that she did not know…"
"You don't have to excuse her, I know she did not know." the girl sighed. She looked at her, studying her eyes, her nose, her lips. She wanted to kiss the woman so much. All the time, to be honest. But now, she simply could not think of anything but the fact that this woman spoke with her just like a friend. Being like this with a woman who was almost a stranger (and her best friend's mother and teacher at the same time) was too intimate to be proper. Slowly she sat up and sat next to the woman, shrugging and turning her face to look at her. "I'm going to break up with Finn. He was okay, it's been nice to date him, but I don't really feel anything for him."
"What do you mean?" the woman questioned. Did she suddenly become as twice as interested as before?
"I like the whole going on dates thing, and the kisses and stuff like that. But I just don't see myself with him for anything else than just friends. It's as if we didn't click." she spoke. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't completely true. What she wanted to say was 'I did not feel a connection with him like I did with you. You make me feel these stupid butterflies on my stomach everyone talks about. You treat me like an adult, and fucking came here and prepared me dinner when you thought I would need it. Like why, why did you do that for your daughter's classmate. You could have just ignored this, and instead came here to check I was okay. And fuck you're hot. "And well, he's cheated on me. I'm better than this, I'm no one's side bitch or that kind of crap." she shrugged and smiled.
Abby tilted her head, smiling back as she stared at the girl. Leaning forward, she cupped the girl's face with her hand and smiled with sweetness. Her face was of pure adoration, and now Raven realized how close she was. So close, that the girl could see the woman's imperfections under the thin layer of makeup. "Raven, I—" the woman started, inhaling deeply. Moving her hand to the girl's knee, she placed it there and slowly started caressing her skin. The girl's lips parted, looking down at the hand and then to the woman's eyes. For the last days the woman had started to think about what was going on between Raven and her. Was this more than just shameless flirting between a teacher and a student? She surely felt something more, she really cared about the girl. Raven gave her a feeling of thrill whenever she looked at her, the lustful gazes they exchanged making her shudder sometimes. But she wasn't sure of what it was. I cannot be falling for a student. Get your shit together, Abigail. Sighing, the woman pulled back and stood up. "I should go home."