A/N: Here is the deal yours truly is going away to St. Louis for Holy Convocation and I probably won't be updating as much because I'm leaving tomorrow so like I did with Abused I did throwback chapters I'll try to do that but I've been sitting on this idea for the longest time Alex J although a fetus twisted my arm to do this so here it is. Enjoy!

*kick* It's all yours if you read right now I'll give you the Alex J special all through zzz *kick* Happy Reading (: Jenny did not clown!

Alex J's POV

Cinny no, no, tell Deja she can kiss my *kick* I don't know why she going after my man. What? Oh hey y'all I'm Alexandra J the baby girl of Sam and Mercedes no I'm still not born yet just baking in my little apartment causing havoc for those in the outside world I've been laying pretty low for the most part. Now I'm a main character that has been reduced to a recurring role like my mommy was in season 4 of Glee now I pop up here and there in chapters depending on if I'm booked or not a techtus [fetus and techie] of my caliber is in high demand so I get my people to take care of my appearances. What Cinny? I have. Anyway you tuned in for a special read this chapter because it's all about me. *kick kick* you are going to spend the day with me getting to know me better. I know you're wondering, what does a fetus like me be doing all day you'll find out after I *yawns and kick* get my sleep in its pretty late way past my bed time I was on twitter in argument you'll see that later night.

A few minutes later…

"Mercedes baby I reached out to snuggle you and you weren't there then I heard movement here in the kitchen. What are you eating it looks interesting?"

"Your baby has a craving."

"No actually I'm good. What does Alex J have a craving for?"

"Pickles, whipped cream, pepperoni, bacon, ketchup, and mustard. So tasty you want a bite?

You don't know what you are missing Alex J is going getting all of this."

"No I'm good she's sure to enjoy it aren't you Alex J.?

Why am I shaking? Daddy! Get your hands off of me? What in the hell is mommy eating? This is nasty I didn't ask for this? Cinny what did mommy say she was eating?

Cinny: Whipped cream, pickles, pepperoni, bacon, ketchup, and mustard.

What?! *tugs on umbilical cord* Mommy back away from the island that is just nasty! Why do I have to suffer tasting that? I can't get to sleep now.

"Alex J I know you just love that. Aren't you? I wonder if we got some of that fried chicken left to add to this."

Fried Chicken! Mommy why do you have to the chicken like that! It already suffered once when it tasted like Sarah please I beg you please don't….

Cinny: She did it huh? She ate the chicken.

*kick kick* "Oooh you are active that woke you up Alex J I know you love that." *drinks pepto bismol*
"Sam you don't have to watch me eat this it's only going to make you sick that you are doing what I knew you would do."

"Yeah down a whole bottle of pepto bismol."

"Whatever this is good, right Alex J?"

*folds arms* Ask me that again! Parents just don't understand mommy stop eating and go to bed you won't be the only one with a tummy ache you got me to think about I sipped some pepto pray that works.

Twinkle twinkle little star how I wonder…..*laughs* what is he still doing up? Hi Gab, what are you still doing up?"

Gab: Mommy is up eating some chocolate talking to Lord Tubbington he ate her chocolate she's trying to reason with him so I called you. Do you want to hear? I can put my phone to the wall.

No baby I'm good I believe you he visited one day and he ate some of Conniehey food they had a huge cat dog blowout Conniehey called him a "hungry, hungry pussy", then Lord T told Conniehey that, "if he couldn't sell it he should sit on it so don't lick the pussy".

Gab: I heard about it Lord T meowed about it all night to his girlfriend she told him and I quote, "you don't' like this pussy anymore". What are you still doing up?

What a visual? Mommy is eating too something nasty she put together I'm glad you call me this is my very special chapter you can tell all of my fans about our relationship. How we came to be?

Gab: Well you found out about me when my mommy told your mommy that she was pregnant then the UPS guy showed up with a few items for me to set up my home there you have it you been my A1 since my day 1 I also called because did you hear the news about Aunt Denise and zzzzzz

That's right! You only have eyes for the likes of me. *kick kick kick* Gab! Baby! Gabriel I can't believe he just went to sl zzzzzzz…

Morning….

I fell asleep on my boo! I'll call him back later to apologize *kicks and yawns* Grab my phone see if I got any messages Gab, Gab, Gab, Gab, the gatewayers they want to FaceTime later, my credit card people, T-Mobile telling me bill is due I'll have Cinny pay it later, and Deja *deletes her message* Morning Cinny did I miss breakfast?

Cinny: Good Morning no you haven't your grandmother is here to fix it.

Which one my stress in a dress or grandma Mary?

Cinny: Stress in a dress but your parents are still in bed they are talking about you.

*smiles* Awwww my mommy and daddy talk about me all of the time this is one of my early morning rituals let's listen in shall we.

"Do you think she's going to look like me or you?"

"I prefer that she looks like you with a pinch of me she's already like you to begin with she loves to shop she's been approved for a black card. I can't even get an approval sent in the mail! I don't know what you or I did that night she was conceived but we were on it."

"Yes, I was on it alright."

*kicks* You have a fetus present! Get a room. Wait we are in the room go on but no hanky pankey I don't think I can handle stick man right now.

Cinny: I can you need to let up off your machine so your mommy and daddy can both go for rides.

I just got my stuff dried from the last time they that their fun! Remember this laptop floated away and you had to paddle back on it not to mention my phone!

"Baby let me stick the head in."

Mommy just say no! Head stick-ins has led to numerous babies being conceived you won't have that problem because you took the whole thing and I'm occupying Mercedes Evans Street but no! That dot in the middle is always looking at me and spits out that white stuff last time it got me in the eye just a direct shot it burned!

Cinny: Alex J that is spunk! You know that's how you started out remember you sang the circle of life remixing the lyrics from the day you flew out of the left nut. You are right it did burn my fur came off.

Yup! Daddy's spunk is volatile!

"Breakfast is here! Is my grandbaby up? I'll find out. Morning Alex J your favorite grandmother is here. Are you behaving for your mother? You know the drill. Let's see if she cooperates. Come on Alex J kick. Kick for your granny.

*puts in earplugs opens twitter* Blaine Gabbert is a TT what for oh my gosh unbelievable! Now I have to rethink my fantasy team on Draft Kings and ESPN. Did you tap me Cinny? She still here! *removes earplugs whispering* Why?

"She was active not too long ago mom Alex J will be active later she'll kick for you then. Love you. This isn't funny your daughter is being bad right now you need to talk to her. I'll talk to her if you won't Alexandra Jennifer Evans I know you hear me why are you being mean to your grandma."

*mimics* Why are you being mean to your grandma? *laughs and kicks* I was sleep.

"Disrespectful you and I are going to have a long discussion when you are born you and that pet of yours I know she's delivering you messages. Sam what kind of sperm do you have? You put a baby inside of me that has all the technology we do and she has a pet!"

"I'll call it rare! Break me of a piece of bacon and you break me off a piece of that too when you are ready."

Didn't we just go through this! Hey y'all I'm going to get my nap in I'm not much of a morning person I just woke up to talk to y'all see you at lunch.

Afternoon…4 hours later

"'Awvea ultxari ohengeyä, Nawma Sa'nok lrrtok siveiyi."

*rolls eyes* this is not how I wanted to be woke up daddy you and that damn Avatar movie! You think mommy loves having those headphones on her stomach here you go interrupting my beauty sleep. Afternoon y'all isn't daddy just rude! Anyway I'm up now my afternoons are better than my mornings how you folk hit up Facebook we hit up BabySpace getting the dirt from our families Aunt Denise is a TT the gatewayers are online let's check in with them see if they want to video chat.

Gatewayers: Afternoon Alex J how as your nap.

My nap was good I would have still been asleep but daddy woke me up since he took a leave of absence I've been subject to random Avatar wake up calls. How was y'all nap?

Gatewayers: It was just okay mommy feels some kind of way because her hatchets have gone missing. She kicked down the door.

WHAT IN THE HELL?! How she kick down the door with you 3 on board was it a running jump hi-kick or did she stand back and kick the door? Was anyone injured?

Gatewayers: Daddy.

*gasps* is he okay?! Why is she going around kicking doors down?

Gatewayers: She was listening at the door when your daddy, my daddy and all the guys were talking about getting TJ back she thought they said something on the lines of kill Tank but she was wrong. Daddy got this big ass knot on the back of his head JT uploaded a photo of him on the couch with little birds flying on hatchets around his head with the caption "that's not Tank mommy killed the wrong guy" crying laughing emoji she made him take it down.

*kicks* Wow! Auntie needs to calm down she's doing too much. Where are you guys at now?

Gatewayers: Work mommy is on lunch break with Aunt Sarah they're sharing stories about their student, I found this to be dumb funny Aunt Sarah asked one of her students to spell the name of the company, and she spelled F-U-C-K not to mention when a student asked her a question she couldn't answer it because she's a substitute only when the teacher returns then the questions can be answered.

Huh? *kick* so what is that good for?

Gateawyers: *sings* absolutely nothing say it again. Hey don't kick me. *kick, kick, kick, kick* you kicking me! Get out my sac! You is cramping my style you move over to the left! *kick*

Guys! Hello! They don't hear me I'll end this call. I'm thankful I'm an only can't be sharing all my room it's getting tight as it already is. I had to disassemble my mood machine into a remote I haven't had to use it lately seeing as daddy is getting happy might have to. *sings* what the hell is going on with the tweets in my phone? Deja is at it again. Look what she called me I'll read it. "I won't have one in my side either, or the little person constantly nagging me to get in my business", I know she not calling me a little person what else she say? When is Gab getting here? I need to respond to this, Gab? What about my man?

Deja: When he gonna get her?

*kick* All you need to know is that I come through the canal first.

Deja: So?

Mary: Gab might like older women.

So? That's all you need to know and I will be an older woman. *kick* my mommy is a cougar I'm a kitten!

Deja: Mmhmm older women like me.

You were around the block a few times. I'm pure *kick kick*

Deja: How?

*shakes head* so that wasn't you on the stick? That's what I thought got nothing to say just like zzzzzzz what did I miss?

So this was a glimpse of my life inside the womb! It's pretty entertaining, huh? *kick* Can't wait to meet you all when I come out shouldn't be too long I have to go now one of my buddies on BabySpace is being born soon going to chat it up with her I'll kick it with you later *kick* Next time we meet we shall talk about the night I was conceived!

A/N: You're welcome Alex J., until then iamJLS