Chapter 34: Happy and Terrified

Jake's POV

Everything was a blur. Leah told me that I had given her what she wanted more than life itself. We were going to be parents she was elated and I was happy to give her that happiness. I was just scared that I wasn't going to be a good dad. It made my rest uneasy and sleep impossible. I lay beside my Leah she fell asleep with her hand on her stomach and a little smile on her face. I kissed her cheek and slipped from under the covers. I strolled into our living room I was filled with nervous energy. I didn't know why. I think I didn't want to disappoint Leah. I needed someone to talk to and confide and I could only think of one person. It was late and I hoped he was up. I called Seth.

"Seth?"

"Nope, try again," a little voice whispered. Ness of course she would answer Seth's phone. I rolled my eyes and scratched my head.

"Hey Ness, is Seth sleep or something?"

"Yeah, it's 2AM he kinda should be and you should be too," she chastised.

"Well, what about you?"

"Half vampire remember? I swear sometimes I think everyone forgets," she giggled. "So what's wrong?"

"What makes you think something is wrong?" I whispered.

"Are you really asking me that question? I've known you since birth Jake. Something's bothering you, what is it?" We were silent for a few seconds. I needed to talk I knew she wasn't the best person but I didn't have anyone else.

"Leah's pregnant," I muttered.

"Okay, and that's a problem?"

"No … yes … not really. The fact that she's pregnant and happy is great. I don't know if me being a father is the greatest thing in the world.

"Oh Jake please, you'll be a great dad! I remember how you treated me when I was little. You were the best! Your little baby will see you the same way. You are attentive, protective, and great all the way around," she said firmly and it made me feel a little better but the reality kicked in again.

"I was your imprint what if that's the only reason I treated you that way?" I covered my face as I gave her my concerns.

"Why do you treat Leah the way you do? She not your imprint," Ness asked.

"Because she deserves … everything. I love her more than my life," I answered her honestly and she chuckled for some reason.

"This baby will be an extension of you and Leah … you will love her just as much and you will treat the baby just like you treat her. Therefore you will be an amazing father Jacob Black!" She said all the things I needed to hear and I wanted to believe but I was still unsure. "Believe me, Stupid!" Ness blurted. "Your doubt is literally dripping through the phone lines. If you are so worried that you will suck read up on the subject. I know you when you want something you will do what it takes. Now I need to return to Seth. You're going to be alright I promise."

"Okay bye Nessie," I whispered.

"Later," she whispered. I took a deep breath and I went back into our bedroom. I found Leah seating up looking at me with sadness and tears in her eyes.

"What's wrong Beta girl?"

"You lied to me," she whispered. "You told me you were excited about all of this. You don't want it do you?" Her hand shook as she placed it over her stomach. I gripped her hand and squeezed it tightly.

"No that's not it at all. I just had doubts within myself it doesn't mean I don't want this Leah … not at all," I corrected her softly. She shook her head and wiped her tears with the back of her hand.

"Why not just tell me that? Why are you … I want you to trust me with everything," she whispered. I cradled her face in my hands.

"I want you to trust me too Leah. I wanted to trust me before … when you left," I blurted it out before I thought about how she would take it. She pulled away from me.

"That was different Jake … fate was working against us," she explained.

"Fate was testing us," I muttered.

"So are you saying that I failed?" She was getting angry. I was trying to calm her but this was definitely not the topic for that.

"No, I don't know what I am saying. I think fate put a slight detour in our union because we needed to grow a little. I just was scared … I don't know if I am grown enough for this but I will do my best to be ready by the time he or she is born," I said with as much conviction I could muster. She studied me hard.

"You feel I failed you? Don't you?" She whispered and I shook my head.

"Leah, don't harp on this! Sometimes I wish we hadn't waited so long I will admit that but isn't everything perfect now? Aren't we happy?"

"Are you?" She asked. "I want you to be happy Jake! I want you to be as happy as I am about this! I want you to mean it but you can't … can you?" She whispered the last part. I waited for her to calm herself. If this what her hormones were going to be like I was going to be walking on eggshells most of time she was pregnant.

"Can't I be happy and terrified at the same time? You know that's how I felt when you first came back in the first place … happy and terrified … now I'm just happy to be with you." She fought to stifle her tears. "Baby please stop crying." She nodded and her breath caught a couple of times.

"I want you to know that logically I know this is not a big deal Jake … I just can't stop crying," she started to blubber again. I couldn't fight against my laughter.

"Don't laugh!" She cried harder and her tears slowly stopped and was replaced with giggles.

"Okay no laughing," I got up in the bed and held her and eventually we were both silent and surrounded with quiet.

"Oh God, I'm an emotional mess," she whispered and I knew better than to touch that one.

"You're beautiful and wonderful," I whispered she rested against me.

"It's okay that you're nervous … I am nervous too." She confessed with her face buried in my chest. I kissed her on the top of her head. "We're having twins by the way. I don't know if I mentioned that." I felt my whole body tense.

"No you didn't," I muttered.

"Don't worry Jake, we'll be fine." She kissed me and her lips were salty from her tears. Tonight was an eye opener. As amazing as being with Leah was we still had a lot of growing to do in our relationship. I felt we needed to trust each other more. I felt the past should be revisited at least once so we could fully lay it to rest. I just had to find the way to bring it up with all these tears.

Author's Note: I hope you all liked this. I decided to add a little drama to the couple. It won't be much and it will be resolved in like two chapters don't worry. I just thought this would be a little spicy. I am sorry I have been gone. I can't say when I will be back because of work. I did miss this though so much! Leave me a review let me know you're still with me! Happy Memorial day!