9: "I'm The Only One Who Understands You"

A lot happened while I slept, but at the time I knew nothing of it. I barely remember that time. Everybody says I simply seemed asleep, except that I stayed in that state for a full month. Vaguely, I can recall a few times I woke. Each was momentary, and immediately I felt so heavy that I had no choice but to lay there and fall asleep again. I also remember a few strange dreams about my dad and how he must have once been a handsome young scientist… married to the CEO of REVOCS Corporation, Kiryuuin Ragyo. Now that I think of it, the dreams weren't wrong, but they felt worse than nightmares.

Burning in my unconscious was the desire to stay asleep and never wake up. Mako and I are both stubborn. Hell, so is Satsuki. We're a bunch of seriously stubborn bitches. But that same stubbornness is ultimately what woke me up, too.

Somebody was playing some truly terrible music… No, that couldn't possibly be music, I thought, mostly asleep. The awful music continued, though, and wakefulness began intruding into my consciousness. Damn that noise! It felt like it made my nerves vibrate and stiffen. I began tossing and turning. Damn that noise! It probably felt so strange because I had actually been hearing Kamui-damaging frequencies like the ones Jakuzure hid in her music. Finally it happened—the damn noise finally got me up.

"No way in hell am I gonna get back to sleep now," I thought furiously. "That damn noise! I bet it's the COVERS. Alright then, monsters. You woke me up and I'm going to KILL you."

Then I sprang from my Futon, realized I was naked, automatically glanced at Senketsu, and then spat on him in disgust. I picked up a tattered, dirty-white spare blanket and wrapped it around me like a cloak. Next I rushed like a bat out of hell toward that damn noise.

The COVERS, indeed, had been responsible for it. The Elite Four and a few Nudist Beach members were outnumbered by an army of COVERS playing frequencies that tried to jam other Life Fibers. I took out the small army of cloth monsters in a single explosive blow. For a minute I stood there panting, still pissed that I had been forced to wake. Then it hit me that Mako was standing right over there with Mikisugi and Gamagori, freshly rescued from one of the COVERS. Seeing Mako alive should have been enough to calm me down, but I realized then that, of course, Mako was human. She could not understand a monster like me; she could not fall in love with something inhuman.

Senketsu approached from behind, moving on his own and shouting, "Ryuuko! You're awake!"

"Get away from me," I told him in a dangerous voice. "I'm done with you. I'm never wearing you again." I turned to face him and spoke hatefully, without pity. "Just looking at you pisses me off! After all, we're both the same breed of Monster. Yeah, that's right—I'm not human! I am a Life Fiber Monster!"

Senketsu appeared to hurt and shocked to speak. Mako tried to convince me that the Kamui was my friend and that I wasn't being myself. She got so worked up about and so determined to get my attention she leapt on me, clinging to my body, but this time I didn't fall. I vaguely wondered if Mako knew she was naked besides Nudist Beach's black vest and combination underwear-belt. I only wore a sheet and there she was with her arms and legs wrapped around me like she was a Koala. I had to look away from her before I could answer,

"You're right, I'm not myself. My life up to this point has been a lie. I turned out to be a Monster. I'm not human, just some unkillable freak of nature like Ragyo."

Mako tried to say something, but just then one of Nui's cloth copies appeared and greeted me cheerily. She asked why I was ignoring her even though she had murdered my father. Instantly I wanted to kill her again. I tossed Mako off me and sliced the cloth before me into shreds. In its place, a cloth copy of Ragyo herself appeared. Ragyo kept calling me her daughter, and tried—of all things—to tell me that she understood my rage. Ignoring the others behind me like Gamagori, I sliced at the floating Ragyo again and again. Each time she regenerated instantly and said something else obnoxious. She even asked if I hated her, after which I said I would kick her ass all the way to hell.

Ragyo then invited me back to Honnouji, currently her main base of operations, to fight she and Nui. I knew it was a trap, but I didn't care. My rage had gone out of control again. Mikisugi warned me not to go, and in response I destroyed two buildings with one insanely powerful blow. I tried to tell everybody that it wasn't fair, that they could cast aside their uniforms and I would be stuck with Life Fibers my entire life. Senketsu appealed to me again, and again I told him not to come near me anymore. Ever stubborn, Mako tried to get through to me a second time, but I simply walked away. Nobody followed me, thank god.

***Break***

I stole a new purplish-red motorcycle from a bike shop and zoomed off toward Honnouji. I got over the wall by crash-landing one of the zip-line shuttles, just like I had done with Mako back on "No Late Day"…. I regretted shutting Mako out. I still loved her. As angry as I felt, I had wanted to kiss her one more time before leaving to fight to Ragyo. But how stupid, I told myself. If I thought about Mako now, I could not concentrate on finding a way to kill Ragyo. So I burst free of the shuttle car with a roar and started slaughtering the COVERS that awaited me in the Honnouji courtyard.

Nui told me I looked "wild and cool" and it irritated me beyond belief that she seemed serious. She asked me what point there would be in killing she and Ragyo when I could never return to my old life. I snapped and we were soon at it with our scissor blades. I was genuinely trying to kill her, but she was merely playing with me. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to me, Nudist Beach and the Elite Four were attacking Honnouji at the same time, in an attempt to rescue Satsuki, who I still believed to be dead.

At some point I started hearing Nui's words over the sound of our blades clashing, and her tone had become so sincere that even I had trouble believing she could be lying.

"I understand, Ryuuko-chan. You're lonely, right? You believed you were human, but you were being kept alive by the same Life Fibers you considered enemies. So now, who exactly are your allies? Who are your enemies? There is no human in the world who can understand you."

I still didn't want to believe her, didn't want to hear my exact thoughts echoed back at me like that… I screamed at her to shut up and fight. Our blades clashed again and Nui looked me in the eye with her dazzling dark-blue eyes.

"You know, though, Ryuuko-chan?" she said affectionately. "You mustn't despair! You still have me. I'm the only one who understands you."

No! I drove my scissor straight through her body. However, Nui somehow recovered at once. She then tore out her own heart and proved to me that she, too, was a human fused with Life Fibers, capable of regenerating and healing from almost everything.

Nui also told me that she had developed in an artificial womb of Life Fibers, cared for by Ragyo. It was obvious that she had some of Ragyo's genes—both had that distinctly French look, and Satsuki looked much the same except for being half Japanese and inheriting her mother's stern, sharp features. That aside, Nui was actually my half-sister, born of the same mother. I myself looked like some wild mixture of little Nui and tall Satsuki. I suddenly wondered if I should really be killing my relatives, but I silenced the thought, and roared at Nui to shut the hell up.

Out of the blue, the trap went off: Nui had been stitching me with Life Fiber threads without my noticing, and Ragyo could now control me like a puppet. She pulled me into the air and I saw Jenketsu just feet away from me, glowing with a dazzling white radiance. Ragyo told me that Jenketsu was a heartfelt gift from Nui, and that it was the only thing suitable for me to wear. She stripped me and began attaching a newly tailored Junketsu to my body.