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Chapter 36: To Begin Again
Jared slowly made his way to the kitchen. It had been just over two weeks since Kyle's accident. It had been discovered quickly that Kyle had amnesia. He had lost about a year. The last thing that Kyle could remember was the bombing at school. That was before Kyle had even met Jared.
Jared hadn't left the apartment much since that night. He had gotten into an argument with Kendall over what to do. Jared thought it was best to give Kyle some space. Kendall thought he was being stupid. If Kyle was ever going to get his memories back, he needed to be reminded of everything. Jared had been avoiding leaving the apartment. He hadn't even gone into the studio much. He was sure Kendall was mad at him.
Jared had a valid reason for not wanting to see Kyle. He didn't want to see the blank look on Kyle's face when he looked at him. It hurt to see Kyle look at him like he was nothing. It was like the last eight months had meant nothing. None of it mattered anymore. Kyle couldn't remember.
"About time you wake up sleeping beauty," Roldy said. Jared sent him a glare before searching for something to eat.
"You were supposed to be in the studio this morning," Noah said jumping up. He joined Jared in the kitchen.
"I forgot," Jared sighed.
"Forgot? Or just didn't want to show up?" Roldy asked joining the two as well. Noah hopped up onto the counter and watched Jared pour himself a bowl of cereal.
"Either, or," Jared shrugged.
"Dude you have got to stop beating yourself up," Roldy said.
"Why? It's all my fault he got hurt. Why would I want to put him through that again," Jared asked.
"Because he makes you a better person and you make him better," Roldy said annoyed.
"Ok, but you didn't see the way he looked at me Ro, it was like I was nobody. He didn't even recognize me," Jared sighed. He was just knit picking and making excuses now.
"Whatever, I didn't sign up for this pity party," Roldy said putting his hands up. He stormed out of the apartment. Noah jumped up and followed after him, sparing Jared one last glance.
Jared groaned and walked into the living room. He fell down onto the couch. He buried his face into couch.
-We Are-
Kyle watched everyone talking and laughing. He had been given the ok to go to school again. It was difficult since he couldn't remember what assignments he had due, or what he was even supposed to be learning in his classes. Everything was just so confusing. His school work seemed to come easier than interacting with anyone.
So much had changed and Kyle was frustrated that he could remember any of it. He was no longer dating Lilly, who seemed to have gone through a drastic change. She had chopped her hair off and bleached it. She seemed happy though and assured Kyle they were still friends.
"Dude you ok?" Miles asked.
"Ok? I can't remember a year of my life. It's like it's all just been erased from my memory and no matter how hard I try I can't remember," Kyle snapped. He stood up and left the cafeteria.
"Kyle."
"I don't want to talk," Kyle said turning to face Lilly. She had changed so much since he remembered. He couldn't understand why he had broken up with her.
"Then listen," Lilly said grabbing his hand and leading him along. "I know it's probably weird being told all these things happened that you can't remember," Lilly started.
"Try frustrating, annoying. It's like there is this block on my mind. No matter how hard I push I can't break through it. I can't remember anything," Kyle snapped. He pulled his hand from Lilly's. "I thought we broke up? You should hate me for whatever I did," He said.
"I did, for a long time," Lilly admitted as they continued to walk.
"So what did happen?" Kyle asked slowly.
"You fell for someone else," Lilly said.
"Who? That Jared everyone keeps talking about?" Kyle asked confused.
"Yes, Jared, he's a great guy. Now I know you don't remember, but we have nothing left between us," Lilly said calmly.
"If he's such a great guy, why haven't I seen him since the night I woke up?" Kyle asked.
"Because he's hurt, he can't believe that you don't remember him," Lilly replied. "If you don't believe me that you two are dating just go online and look up Jared Munroe and Kyle Knight. You'll find dozens of gossip stories about you two. If you don't believe me go to the Palm Woods and ask him yourself."
"He doesn't want to see me, why should I make the effort?" Kyle asked.
"Because he does want to see you he's just scared Kyle. He's afraid of rejection. Everyone is," Lilly snapped. She looked shocked at her own outburst. "I'm sorry, but you're being childish about this and you can't help it."
"No I can't," Kyle replied as he stopped walking.
Lilly turned to face him. "I'm sorry Kyle, but you have to trust me on this."
"I do trust you Lil, it would be better if I could get into my phone. I can't remember my passcode," Kyle said.
"If anyone would know it, it'd be Jared," Lilly stated.
-We Are-
Kendall slowly he left the studio. He was dragging a bit. He had been working on the guys album nonstop. Jared seemed to be MIA and the others were trying to get through to him. It had been two weeks since Kendall had had a proper conversation with him. He didn't like that Jared was avoiding him and Kyle. It was almost as if he had just given up.
Kendall quickly entered his office. Pebelope was already there waiting for him. She looked nervous. Kendall didn't blame her either. She was finally going to meet Jo. Kendall had put if off the last few weeks because he was dealing with Kyle. Penelope understood, but she wasn't going to do this without him.
"Are you ok Pen? You look like you're about to pass out," Kendall said standing up and moving over to the young blonde.
"I don't know. I'm freaking out. What if she doesn't like me? What if I don't like her?" Penelope rambled. Kendall held a hand up cutting her off.
"There is nothing to be nervous about," Kendall said.
"Will she like me?" Penelope asked.
"She will love you Pen," Kendall assured her.
"Are you sure?" Penelope asked chewing at her bottom lip.
"Yes, now just relax and let's go to lunch," Kendall said.
He moved to leave the office when Kelly entered. She looked panicked.
"Oh good you're both still here," Kelly said quickly. "Get on your computer. You're not gonna be happy about this one," she said to Kendall.
"What's wrong," Kendall asked confused. He did as he was told.
"Oh you'll see," Kelly said.
"Someone leaked about me didn't they?" Penelope said slowly.
"Yes, and it's not pretty," Kendall said looking at his computer.
"What do you mean?" Penelope asked.
"Come take a look," Kendall said turning his laptop towards her. Penelope slowly moved forward. She looked at the computer and her jaw dropped.
"What? They're accusing me of lying?" Penelope shrieked confused.
"Who would do this?" Kendall asked annoyed.
"Well I know you or your family wouldn't do anything," Penelope said looking at Kendall pointedly.
"Jo's not like that," Kendall said quickly.
"Well then who would spill the details about me to the press," Penelope asked.
"I don't know, it all depends on who Jo told or if someone over heard me talking to some one. We can't really know who it was," Kendall sighed.
"Great, now everyone is going to think I'm doing this for attention and that I want to tear your family apart," Penelope said.
"You're not named, it's not even mentioned that you work at Rocque records, if you want you can go back to school and forget this happened. I mean there are other record labels out there," Kendall said.
"Are you nuts, I love it here. Besides I cane leave my boys. If I did you might end up killing them," Penelope said with a grin. "I knew what I was getting into, I will just have to suck it up and try to set the record straight."
Kendall just stood there looking at Penelope shocked. She sounded so much like him. It was strange now, everything she did reminded him of either himself or Jo. She had all the same quirks as Jo. She liked the same things as him. It was so odd, and Kendall was kicking himself for not realizing sooner.
"What?" Penelope asked looking at him confused. "Why are you staring at me? Is there something on my face?"
"No, it's just you remind me a lot of myself when I was your age," Kendall said.
"Oh no, don't go get all fatherly on me now," Penelope sad quickly.
"I'm sorry Pen," Kendall chuckled.
"So are we still gonna go to lunch? Cause I don't really feel like being seen out in public with you two yet," Penelope admitted.
"I understand," Kendall said nodding his head. He never wanted her to feel uncomfortable. "I'm sure Jo will understand as well."
"Really?" Penelope asked skeptically.
"Yes, if I know Jo, she won't mind," Kendall said as there was a knock on the door.
The three looked to the doorway. Kelly moved over to the door and opened it. Jared was standing there. He looked surprised to see Kelly.
"Is now a bad time?" Jared asked.
"Uh no, Penelope and Kelly were just leaving. Don't worry about a thing Pen, I will take care of everything," Kendall said.
"Alright, I've got a paper to write anyways. I will see you tomorrow then?" Penelope said waving as she left. Kelly followed her.
"Hey Pen, I heard about the news. People are awful. You know if you need a shoulder to cry on Matty's available," Jared called after.
"Tell him in his dreams," Penelope called back.
"You're breaking his heart you know," Jared replied.
"Cry me a river!"
Jared turned to face Kendall. He did not look to happy. Then again why should he be happy. Jared had skipped out on the studio for almost two weeks now. Kendall had every right to be angry.
"So uh, how is the album coming along?" Jared asked scratching at the back of his neck nervously.
"You would know if you had decided to come in at all," Kendall said.
"Well I've been having a rough time. Probably not as rough as some, but that argument with Kyle brought up a lot of shit about my parents and you. I really wanted to talk to him and maybe work things out, but I can't because he doesn't even remember me let alone our relationship," Jared rambled.
"Jared," Kendall said.
"If I am being honest, I really do miss him, but I just don't want him to look at me like I'm a stranger," Jared sighed.
"Then don't be a stranger, introduce yourself. Take him around the palm woods. Show him what he used to know and it all just might come back to him," Kendall said.
"Easier said than done," Jared said as the office door opened behind him. Jared whipped around to see James and Kyle walk into the office. Kyle looked at Jared shocked and quizzical.
"Kendall-oh I didn't realize you were busy," James said once he spotted Jared.
"Shouldn't you be in school?" Kendall asked his son.
"The guidance counselor thinks I'm not ready to be in school just yet," Kyle replied with a shrug. He glanced over at Jared.
"I think I'm gonna go," Jared said quickly. He bolted to the door. Kendall stopped him.
"Don't wander far, this isn't over Jared," Kendall said.
"Don't worry dad, I'll be in the studio," Jared said sarcastically. He left the office quickly after that.
Kendall rolled his eyes and turned to his husband and son for an explanation. He looked to Kyle and remembered the bomb about Penelope. He might as well get this over with again.
-We Are-
Logan yawned as he shuffled through some papers on his desk. He had decided to head home for lunch and surprise Carlos, only to find his husband sleeping. He didn't want to disturb him, so Logan took to cleaning his office. It was something he had been putting off for months. He had an hour, so he might as well get started.
He started sorting papers and things in to piles. The door opened slowly with Carlos calling his name softly. Logan looked up at the groggy Latino.
"What are you doing here?" Carlos asked confused.
"I wanted to come surprise you for lunch, but you were sleeping and I didn't want to wake you," Logan said.
"Oh, well I'm up now want to make you something?" Carlos asked.
"No I bought lunch for you, it's in the fridge," Logan replied with a smile. He continued to shuffle through papers. Carlos walked over to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
"This can wait, come keep me company before you have to leave," Carlos said.
"Los, I've been putting this off for too long," Logan sighed as he moved more papers.
"Please," Carlos pleaded.
"Ok, five minutes. Let me finish sorting these to into piles and I will be out in a few," Logan said.
"Ok, but please don't take long," Carlos chirped happily as he left the office.
Logan doubled his efforts. He did want to spend time with Carlos, but he really needed to get this done as well. As he sorted through papers, he came across a magazine. Picking it up, he examined it for a moment puzzled. After a moment, he recognized it as the magazine Gerald King gave him months ago. The magazine contained a story that Carlos was cheating on Logan with on of his co-stars. Logan shook his head. It was ridiculous, Carlos would never cheat on him.
Logan tossed the magazine in the trash can. It wasn't worth the energy to buy into every little lie told in a magazine. He had more important things to worry about, like his family.
Logan left his office and wandered into the kitchen where Carlos was eating his food. He looked up with a smile as Logan entered the kitchen. Logan smiled as well, he loved Carlos with all his heart. He also knew that Carlos loved him and he would never cheat on him.
-We Are-
Jared was sitting in the studio with a guitar in his hands. He smiled as he ran his fingers strummed over the strings mindlessly playing chords. He loved music and had taken any lessons he could. He had taken guitar, piano, and voice lessons. He knew some basics of numerous other instruments as well. Music had always been his passion, and the last two weeks he had missed this.
Jared hummed to himself. A song came to his mind and he started playing. It was a song he had heard only a few times, but he knew it. He would never forget it. Kyle had written it for him and he would never forget it.
"Nothing is the same since I met you. My hardest times are easy to get through. When shadows of the past disturb my night, you make them run and hide, cause nothing is the same since I met you."
"That's an amazing song."
Jared whipped around and saw Kendall and Kyle standing on the doorway. They were both looking at him.
"Well, I think so too," Jared said with a smile. He jumped up and walked over to the pair. "While it is an amazing song I can't take any credit for it. I didn't write it." He said.
"Oh and who did?" Kyle asked.
"You," Jared replied.
"Me?" Kyle asked shocked. Jared grinned and nodded his head.
"How have I not heard about this?" Kendall asked.
"Guess I'm just special," Jared replied with a cocky smirk.
"Me?" Kyle asked shocked. "I haven't picked up a guitar in years and I don't write songs like that," he said shaking his head.
"Yes you have picked up a guitar recently and with the right inspiration you can become great," Jared said.
"Prove it," Kyle said.
"Where's you phone look at that," Jared replied.
"I uh-can't get into my phone," Kyle admitted his cheeks turning red in embarrassment.
"Oh that's right, you have amnesia. Do you have your phone?" Jared asked. Kyle reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. Jared snatched it and quickly unlocked it. He smirked as he handed it over.
"How did you do that?" Kyle asked his jaw dropped in shock.
"1128," Jared replied.
"What's that mean?" Kyle asked confused.
"Really? Why didn't I think of that?" Kendall chuckled.
"Cause you're old and out of touch," Jared replied.
"Should that number mean something to me," Kyle asked glaring at the two.
"It's my birthday," Jared replied.
"Oh," Kyle said looking down at his phone and then up to Jared. The look of confusion was still there, but it was mixed with something. Something Jared had seen before. Kyle was questioning his sexuality again. Jared was going to be there to make sure he realized just how much he did care for Jared.
"Well this has been fun, if you have an more questions Kyle, I'll be at the Palm Woods. I'm sure you know where that is," Jared said. Kyle silently nodded his head. "And don't worry Kendall, I'll be in tomorrow with the guys and we can get started on the video concept."
With that said Jared turned and left the studio, being sure to brush past Kyle. He could practically feel Kyle staring at him. It felt nice to have the blonde's attention again. If Kyle couldn't remember him, then he would just have to start over. He would get him to fall in love with him all over again.
-We Are-
Jake yawned as he made his way up to his apartment. Classes had started again and he was getting his ass kicked. He had an average size class load, it was nothing unusual, but it seemed to just be taking all his energy. That and he his job at the campus store was tiring.
Jake entered the apartment. He looked to the kitchen and saw Damien cooking. He turned and greeted Jake. His smile fell as he took in Jake's tired appearance.
"You ok?" Damien asked.
"Yeah, I'm just a little tired," Jake replied a small smile.
"Are you sure," Damien asked worriedly. "Jake you don't look too good. What ever is wrong I think you need to see a doctor," he said.
"Day I'm fine, relax," Jake assured him.
"If you say so," Damien sighed. Jake just made his way to their bedroom. He wanted to get changed out of his work clothes. He changed into something more comfortable and walked back out to the kitchen.
"Whatcha cooking? It smells good," Jake said.
"Just some spaghetti and meatballs. I talked my mother into giving me her recipe," Damien said.
"Really?" Jake asked.
"Yep, so you know it'll be good," Damien said with a smile.
"Yum, so how much longer?" Jake asked.
"Well I'm heating the sauce now and waiting for the water to boil maybe fifteen minutes," Damien shrugged.
"Ok, I'm gonna watch some TV just let me know when it's done," Jake said. Damien nodded his head.
Jake retreated to the couch. He sat down and turned the TV on. He sighed contently as he leaned back on the couch. Jake was tired and achey. He still had morning sickness as well. He no longer had a fever, but he still wasn't feeling one hundred percent better. Damien was starting to worry about him. Jake hoped this would go away soon. It was all pregnancy, Adam had warned him about this. He hadn't said it would be this bad, but it was normal. There wasn't anything Jake could do about it.
Jake shook his head. He turned his attention to the TV. He was watching some sports highlights. His mind started to wander. He started thinking about the baby. He was eager to meet his baby. Him and Damien had been talking about the baby more and more. They wanted to know what they were gonna have and they were both guessing.
"Hey guess what else my mom gave me," Damien said walking into the living room with a small bag in his hands.
"What?" Jake asked confused. Damien handed him the bag. He opened it and saw a pair of booties with the San Francisco 49ers logo on then. "Oh, how cute," he said smiling.
"See she remembered your favorite team," Damien said. Jake smiled and stood and hugged Damien.
"I'm sure he will love them," Jake said.
"Or she," Damien said quickly.
"Either way they are gonna be the cutest baby ever," Jake said grinning.
"Come on let's go eat the food is ready," Damien said holding his hand out to Jake. Jake took his hand and stood. He followed Damien to the kitchen.
-We Are-
Kyle looked up at the big building before him. He got the feeling of deja vu. It felt like he had been here before. It the back of his mind he knew he had been here, he just couldn't remember.
Kyle walked into the building and crossed the lobby. He had asked Kendall what apartment Jared was earlier while he had been at the studio with him. He asked a lot of questions and Kendall eventually told him what Lilly had told him. Jared was the answer to his questions.
Kyle made his way to the second floor. If Kyle was being honest with himself, he couldn't stop thinking about Jared. Ever since he had seen him in his hospital room. It sparked something inside him. Something he didn't quite understand.
Kyle knocked on the door and waited. He was nervous, but excited. He couldn't explain this feeling. It was something he had only ever really felt around Lilly before.
The door opened to finally reveal Jared. A look of shock crossed his face before that cocky smile took its place.
"Kyle, what are you doing here?" Jared asked.
"I don't know," Kyle admitted.
"Well, do come in," Jared said stepping aside for the blonde. Kyle walked into the apartment shutting the door behind him.
The two stood there in silence. Jared wasn't pushing Kyle to talk or even remember anything. He was patiently waiting for him to talk. Kyle didn't understand the effect that Jared had on him.
"Why can't I get you out of my head?" Kyle asked suddenly.
"Because on some level you know that I am not a stranger, that you know me," Jared said stepping up to Kyle so they were standing face to face.
They stood there looking at one another. Without warning Kyle took a step forward. He pulled Jared into a kiss it was sloppy and everything Jared had missed. His arms wrapped around Kyle and pulled him close. Kyle pulled back and looked to the side.
"I can't be the guy you remember," Kyle said softly.
"That's ok, we can start fresh," Jared said, "I'll answer any questions you have."
"So let's begin again," Kyle said talking a step back. Jared nodded his head.
There you go another chapter. Jared is scared, but will to try and win Kyle back. Can he win Kyle over? Someone spread a rumor about Penelope? Who was it? What will Penelope do? Will she ever meet Jo? Would Carlos ever cheat on Logan? Will Kyle ever get his memories back? Is Jake just suffering normal pregnancy symptoms, or is there something more? Sorry for the wait. I've just gotten a new job and it's killing me. Also I'm having trouble with wi-fi. I should get back to a semi normal update schedule soon.
Always
OUTOFMYMIND