I'M NOT DEAD!
God, sorry! That was the longest break I've ever taken from this, I think. I'm so sorry, I haven't even been that busy - although I am an Aunty now, and I went to T in the Park, and I've moved between my three different "homes" several times - don't ask... josieblogsaboutstuff dot wordpress .com explains - so I haven't been completely idle. Mostly, it was just old fashioned block. This one just WOULD NOT do as it was told!
I'm so sorry I've been so shit, I will reply to reviews on both this and the shitty oneshot I tried to get over block with (for my sake, don't read it. The other ones are fine with me, and I'd LOVE you to read them, but not this one. Leaving it up so I remember rock bottom.) Especially to those of you who I was talking to regularly - Yuthika and MaryEvH and Freedom909 and Smiles1998... I still love you all and I SWEAR I wasn't trying to ignore you, I'm just a TERRIBLE PERSON.
Anyway, in an attempt to make up for my shitness, this is my longest chapter ever. EVER.
*UPDATE* - Smiles1998 just messaged me to let me know that today, 19th July, is actually 1 year to the day since I started this! What a weird coincidence! Anyway, I just want to thank you all for sticking with me for however long you've been here; I never thought I'd still be doing this once I got to university to be honest, let alone not even be finished a whole year later! The support and friendship and even just attention, for however brief a time, that you give this story and (weirdly, for me!) me mean the absolute world. I don't honestly believe I'll still be doing this story in a year, just because I will SURELY have run out of waffle to fill your time with, but I do intend to finish this, and keep writing after that, hopefully! Again: thank you so much for everything. I couldn't have done this (such as it is) without you all. I genuinely you as friends. And if we don't really talk, drop me a review! I promise I'll reply, and I'd LOVE to talk to you, about anything at all! Yuthika will vouch that I can talk bollocks for pages and pages. But then, you all knew that!
Disclaimer: Les Miserables is even less mine than Paolo Nutini is... that is, sadly, not at all. In both cases. However much I wish it. And boy, DO I.
Cosette stood back to appraise her evening's work with a pleased smile. Ok, so the dress is designed and sent off to be made, the veil is ready, the invitations are sorted, Marius likes the menu… we can sort out the seating plan when we have more RSVPs. What's left?
She'd never realised how much there was to organise when you got married. There were guest lists, caterers, venues, outfits… if she was completely honest she'd rather have just had a quiet ceremony with just her Papa, Marius' immediate family and Les Amis, but she couldn't bear to say that to Marius once he'd gotten excited and started jabbering on about parties and huge cakes and everyone coming so they could share their day. She loved how wonderfully enthusiastic he got about things, it was one of the things that made her fall for him; most guys would have just asked her for coffee if they'd seen her in the park… Marius turned up at her house in the middle of the waxing lyrical about dreams and love and how seeing her face had changed his life. It was far, far too cute to be creepy. Well, it was a little creepy, but in an endearing way. A wonderfully endearing way.
She smiled, reminiscing on the early days of their relationship for a while. She really had been so lucky to find a guy who just worked with her in every way; he wasn't perfect of course, nobody is, but when she looked up at that smile he sure felt close.
"Knock knock?"
Her Papa popped his head around the door. She smiled at him "come in Papa. I was just finishing up for the night." He came and stood beside her, looking over the pictures and diagrams and notes she had pinned up on the wall with an almost wondrous look.
"Did you do all of this yourself, love?"
"Mostly. Marius and his family helped with that stuff" she indicated the right hand side of the wall "and Sylvie gave me a lot of those pictures. But mostly. It's quite fun actually, picturing what the day'll be like!"
"You truly amaze me, Cosette. I'm so proud of how you've grown up into a wonderful, beautiful, kind and smart woman. Marius is a lucky man, as lucky as I have been to love you for all these years."
She wrapped her arms around the old man's waist in a hug, laying her head on his chest. "Whatever I am, I am because of you, Papa. I can only hope to be half as caring and loving wife to Marius as you have been a father to me."
Her Papa kissed her head, smiling so his eyes crinkled, the lines on his face deepening. "As for the day" he said more brightly "I know it will be amazing. I only wish your mother could be there to see it."
"She'll be watching, I'm sure."
"I know she will. And she'll be as proud as I am."
"Thanks, Papa."
"This is all so exciting!" he continued. "Talk me through the main points, then – these are your bridesmaids dresses, yes?"
"Yes! I finally decided on something Éponine, Chetta and Sylvie would all look gorgeous in, it was tricky with their different colourings… I like the lovely navy blue colour though, do you?"
"It's beautiful. I must say though, I'm surprised you haven't picked pink or pale blue or one of those colours. They're your favourites aren't they?"
"Well, yes, but pink was out with Musichetta's red hair, and pale blue would wash Sylvie out terribly. I thought about pale green, but I decided I liked the navy better. All three of them'll look so lovely."
"I didn't know it was so complicated!"
"Well, with Éponine's dark hair and olive skin and 'Chetta's red hair and pale skin and Sylvie's brown hair and fair skin... it did make it a little more complicated. But it's worth it for those three!"
"I'm sure it will be. Which one's your Maid of Honour?"
Cosette bit her lip. "Well, I haven't actually asked her yet. But I hope Éponine will be, I've known her the longest and she's been so good to Marius and me."
"You haven't asked yet?"
"No… I'm a bit worried she'll insist on a hen party when I do, so I've kind of been postponing it…"
Éponine burst out smiling, grinning from ear to ear. "Of course I'll do it!" She jumped up to hug her friend tightly. "Thank you so much for asking Cosette, it really means a lot."
"It couldn't have been anyone else!" Éponine couldn't stop smiling. I'm so lucky to have Cosette, she's truly the world's nicest person. I can't believe I was ever mean to her, or that she forgave me… and now this!
They pulled apart, Cosette wiping the tears from her eyes with a watery chuckle and Éponine still grinning.
"You know what this means right?"
"Oh no."
"Your hen do is going to be amazing."
Three weeks later, Sylvie, Cosette, Éponine and Musichetta were all stood around a table in a fashionable cocktail bar, dressed up to the nines and decked out in fluffy hen-do crowns and sashes. To toast the first drink of the night, Cosette raised her cosmopolitan high above her tiara-sporting head and shouted "TO ÉPONINE, FOR THE HEN DO!"
"TO ÉPONINE!" the ladies yelled.
"TO SYLVIE FOR SUGGESTING COCKTAILS!" Éponine shouted.
"TO SYLVIE!"
"TO MARIUS AND COSETTE!" Musichetta added.
"TO MARIUS AND COSETTE!" all four yelled, louder than most explosions.
"Ladies, this is the best night ever" Cosette said "this is going to be literally the best night that will ever occur under any circumstances."
"You deserve it, hun!" Sylvie announced, as they all clinked their cocktail glasses.
"STAG STAG STAG STAG"
The air was thick with the chant; the small pub filled to bursting with the male members of Les Amis and their drunken, testosterone-fuelled joy. It wasn't even 10 o'clock yet, and this was only the second pub they were in, but that wasn't stopping them.
"STAG STAG STAG STAG"
From the outside, they looked fairly ridiculous: eight men shouting over each other, wide grins on their faces; beers in one hand, shots in the other. Their differences seemed at first striking; from the built, loud and imposing Bahorel to the wide-eyed, almost wondering joy of the freckled stag, who wandered around the bar apparently lost, wearing his beer-dispensing builder's hat. Once you looked past this though, the camaraderie between them all became immediately obvious: not one of them was stood alone, or on the outskirts of the group, and the shared chant was almost universally accompanied with shoulder slaps and shared grins. Even once the chant stopped, there wasn't a single member of the party alone.
"Hey, where's Combeferre?"
Enjolras turned from Feuilly, Marius and Bahorel's conversation to wheel around and face Courfeyrac. Though apparently nonchalant, Enjolras couldn't help but notice a strange restlessness in his friend's heavily-lashed eyes, barely concealed by his bright smile.
"Oh, he's coming with Joly from the hospital. They shouldn't be long, actually" he frowned, pulling his phone out to check the time. No messages, either. Should I be worried? Should I text her and see if she's ok?
Don't be ridiculous, she's fine. She's out and so are you. You'll see her soon enough.
For God's sake, Enjolras, when did you get so whipped?
"Oh, right, yeah. The erm… hospital. That makes sense. Thanks."
Snapping out of his inner monologue, Enjolras looked up at his friend with a raised eyebrow. "Are you all right, Courfeyrac?"
"Yeah! Fine. Beer?"
"That'd be great, thanks."
He's in a weird mood.
"OK, OK, this one's for Cosette" Musichetta half-shouted, her voice higher and even more commanding than normal, but with an almost breathy edge to it. "Bahorel, Marius… Jehan"
"We can't give her Marius, that's too easy!" Sylvie piped up.
"OK, OK! Ooooh kay… Bahorel…. Jehan… GRANTAIRE."
"This is such a hard game! They're all so lovely… ok, marry Jehan, just because he's so lovely… AHHH I guess I'd fuck Bahorel… oh but I don't want to kill poor Grantaire!"
"Too late, you've done it! R sleeps with the fishes and it's all your fault" Éponine announced solemnly.
"Hahahahahaaa! I think it's Éponine's turn!" Sylvie giggled. "Chetta, you pick!"
Oh dear
"Ok, ok… ok. Éponine. Ok. Marius – can I give you Marius? YES I CAN YOU AREN'T MARRYING HIM!"
Sylvie and Cosette fell about giggling, as Éponine shook her head a little and laughed.
"Marius, then… ok, and Grantaire… and…."
Musichetta's eyes lit up, so Éponine narrowed hers almost imperceptibly. Don't you dare, Musichetta…
"Oooh Mr Marble himself, Enjolras!"
Éponine was really not enjoying Fuck Marry Kill very much.
"Well, I suppose I'd have to kill Marius –"
"What's wrong with my husband to be?!" Cosette giggled in mock outrage.
Éponine laughed "eurgh, gross, fuck Grantaire"
"IMAGINE" Sylvie burst out then broke into a fit of the giggles again.
"Which leaves…?" Oh no. I didn't think this through. DAMN IT. SHIT COCK BOLLOCKS MOTHERFU-
"MARRYING ENJOLRAS" Musichetta declared, in triumph.
Sylvie just about fell off her seat "Enjolras! Imagine if she married Enjolras!"
"IMAGINE" Musichetta agreed, grinning wickedly at Éponine.
Éponine glared at her over her cocktail glass. Devious little…
Their party finally at the full ten people, and two pubs after the first one, the stag party's conversation had turned to remarkably similar topics.
"HEY, REMEMBER WHEN WE HAD THAT DEAL THAT NONE OF US WOULD TRY AND PULL ÉPONINE AND SHE'D HAVE TO PICK?" Courfeyrac guffawed from his seat between Feuilly and Combeferre.
"And the FIRST DAY I wasn't there YOU FLIRTED WITH HER THE WHOLE TIME" Bahorel agreed, his booming laugh filling the air.
"I was so embarrassed for all of you when she found out" chuckled Combeferre
"She loved it" Courfeyrac retorted, wiping the tears from his eyes.
"God, the days before we had any girls at all" Jehan continued wistfully, running a hand through his curls.
"Shit, I almost forgot about that rule!" Feuilly exclaimed. "That's why nobody met Sylvie until just before we got engaged!"
"That and you were worried she'd ditch you for me when she saw what a fine specimen of a man she could have" Bahorel declared loudly, flexing his guns to the amusement of the rest of the group.
"All that because Enjolras was scared of women" Grantaire added dreamily.
"I was NOT scared of women" Enjolras retorted, the effectiveness of his statement somewhat reduced by the slur on the edge of his words.
"You so were" Bossuet laughed.
"Yeah, Éponine had been coming to sit in the back for weeks, you just didn't realise she was a girl" Marius joked.
"To be fair, neither did you" Bahorel cut in, to general hilarity.
"What's that mean?!" Marius laughed.
"Dude you could have been riding that pony all the way around the corral from the start…"
"Don't be ridiculous! Éponine?! We were just friends - we still are!"
"You were" the group replied in unison.
Marius shook his head in disbelief, laughing to himself. "Once Cosette turned up, I wasn't interested in any other ponies" he admitted. "Before that, to be honest, I didn't notice. I didn't even think of her like that!"
"I did" Courfeyrac and Bahorel said at the same time, producing more laughs.
"But anyway, back to Enjolras being scared of women" Joly brought the subject back around.
"Yeah, who'd have thought you'd end up living with one" Jehan teased. "Even if not in a romantic way."
Enjolras determinedly avoided looking at Combeferre but allowed himself a grin "I suppose I was a bit scared… but only of their effect on you lot."
"SUUUURE"
"No, really!" he teased "we'd be drinking in a free France by now if pretty girls hadn't turned up to distract us"
"Pretty girls, eh?" Joly's keen mind hadn't missed that, and he grinned wickedly.
"Oooooh does Enjolras have a crush!?" Courfeyrac and Grantaire sing-songed.
"Shit, Courf, look out for that flying pink thing about to hit you in the face!" Feuilly piped up.
"I'm not a robot!" Enjolras protested, to loud laughter.
"I think we should get Enjolras laid" Bossuet announced. There were loud noises of agreement. Enjolras changed tactic and looked straight at Combeferre in a panic. HELP.
"Is this a good idea, guys?" Ferre cut in, laughing all the same.
"I think it's a BRILLIANT idea" Courfeyrac answered, throwing an arm around the philosopher's shoulders and pulling him into his side amicably. "Poor guy must be gagging for it by now, it's been for EVER…"
He tried to protest "it has not –"
"We'll need to get him loosened up first" Feuilly pointed out.
"Gentlemen, step aside for the master." Grantaire stood up with a flourish, bowing low in front of Enjolras. "This, Sir, is my area of expertise, and I'll be glad to service you in literally any way."
"I'm not having a drunken one-night stand!" Enjolras protested.
"Marry her if you want to, we're not stopping you" Marius suggested. "As long as it's after mine, I thought of it first" he joked.
Enjolras began to really panic. They seemed determined on this plan, but he could hardly tell them why he couldn't… shit! I wish I could ask Ép what to do…
"Hey, Enjolras, blondes, brunettes, or redheads?" Joly called.
"Wasn't he dancing with that dark-haired girl when we went out for Éponine's birthday?" Grantaire piped up. Oh yeah, the one Éponine nearly started a fight with… ohhh, that makes a lot more sense now!
"Guys, I really don't want this…"
"This is not optional" Marius grinned. "Stag's orders."
They'd migrated to a standing table nearer the dance floor, which Sylvie was looking out over a little wistfully.
"You ok, Sylv?" Cosette asked "You look a million miles away!"
"Yes! Yes, I am. I just… it sounds dumb, right, and I love Mathieu, really, but… I kind of miss going out on a dance floor to pick up guys?"
"Yeah, I miss that too" Musichetta agreed. "I feel like two is enough though."
"I never really did it anyway" Cosette admitted "so I don't think I'll miss it too much.
"I guess we'll have to live vicariously through our only singleton" Sylvie teased. "And that guy over there has been staring at her for at least five minutes."
Éponine turned to look, eyebrow raised. It was true, it seemed; a tall, leanly built man raised an eyebrow and smirked as she met his gaze. He had dark brown hair, swept back off his head without looking greasy, and a fairly thick layer of stubble that in just a few days' time would probably be a proper beard. He looked like he had dark eyes, which crinkled at the edges as he smirked. His dark t-shirt and jeans were underdressed, but in a rock and roll kind of way. She also spotted several tattoos decorating his arms. If she was being totally honest, this guy was hot. And yet, all she could see was how he was different to Enjolras… in pretty much every way. And all she could think of was the way Enjolras had smiled at her when she woke up this morning, moving her head up his chest to meet his eyes. She turned back around to face her friends. "Not sure he's my type guys."
"He's mine" Musichetta and Sylvie replied simultaneously, grinning then breaking out into a fit of the giggles. "Ooh and he's coming this way!"
Éponine's stomach dropped. "What?!"
"Hi, ladies. I take it congratulations are in order… who's the lucky lady?"
"Me!" Cosette piped up, her voice a little feverish and giggly.
"Congratulations!" the man said to her warmly. "I must buy you all a drink to celebrate"
Éponine started to say "there's no need" just as the other three exclaimed "oh yes, thank you!"
"This young lady seems to disagree" he said, turning to look at her with that smirk, leaning one elbow onto the table. His eyes were dark, surprisingly so, but up close they seemed so inviting, combining with his other features to make a very friendly, open face… Enjolras' grin flashed into her mind once again.
"Oh, no, sorry! I just don't want you to go to any trouble…"
"It's none at all, Miss…?" Damn, he's smooth too.
"Err… Éponine" she smiled, half-heartedly. "Éponine."
"Éponine."
"That's me."
"So it would seem. Well, Éponine, I'm… enchanted." He seemed determined to hold her gaze, damn it!
"And this is Sylvie, Musichetta, and the lovely bride-to-be Cosette!"
"Ladies! Lovely to meet you. Now, what are we drinking?"
"Oh… strawberry daiquiri please" Éponine replied quickly, with a small, very quick smile and raised eyebrows. "Actually, I'm just going to nip out and make a phone call if that's ok?"
"Of course" he replied. I wasn't actually asking you…
"You alright?" Musichetta asked, concerned and – if Éponine wasn't mistaken – a little amused.
"Yeah! Just need to call someone."
She made for the door as quickly as she could, desperate for the air, and the space. As she exited the building, she took great gulps of the crisp Parisian night air, trying to clear her head and getting herself together. All this secrecy will be the death of me she thought, as she pulled herself together.
Fishing her phone out of her bag (not a single message… I suppose not. He's out… I'll just see what he's up to, can't do any harm!) she dialled Enjolras' number.
"Hello. The number you have called is unavailable, but if you'd like to leave a message, press –"
Of course he's not answering his phone; he's on a stag do. Pull yourself together Thénardier. Taking a final deep, steadying breath, she made her way back inside, fighting through the crowds to their table again, where there was no sign of –
"He's gone" Cosette confirmed.
"Wasn't much interested once he found out we were all taken" Sylvie admitted.
"Sometimes I wonder whether two is enough" Musichetta added wistfully, setting them off laughing.
It was only about five minutes later, when they were all back to normal in their conversation, that Cosette innocently piped up "So, Éponine, how long have you been sleeping with Enjolras?"
"Guys, what if he has a girl and just hasn't told us about it?" Combeferre tried, a little desperately.
"Oh, there's that pig again" Feuilly chimed in.
"Again, I'm not a robot!" Enjolras replied, exasperatedly.
"Hang on, so you DO have a crush?" Jehan asked, his face full of pure joy.
"No, I don't have a crush I'm not a little boy"
"But you must have eyes" Bossuet pushed.
"Yeah, come on, Enjolras, you must like at least one girl. Not in like an eternal love way, but … you must want to bang someone's brains out" Bahorel declared exasperatedly.
"Yeah, Enjolras" Combeferre agreed, a smile playing at his lips. "You must want to bang someone's brains out. In the shower, for example. In the morning. Every morning, even."
"That sounds pretty good to me" Bossuet admitted.
"You tried it once and cracked a vertebra in your back" Joly pointed out, to widespread laughter.
"GENTLEMEN, GENTLEMEN, on topic, please." Grantaire slurred, leaning forward dramatically from his bar stool. "Let us not get distracted by Bossuet's incompetence in and out of the bedroom."
"Right – come on Enj."
"I'm so not telling you all this" he laughed. "And don't call me Enj." It makes me think of her and I really need to think of ANYTHING but her right now…
"What if we name some of the girls we know and you just have to say yes or no?"
"I – "
"YES, LET'S DO THAT!"
"OK, OK – CHETTA!"
"Sylvie!"
"Cosette!"
"Sour-face Grace!"
"Genevieve from Critical Legal Thinking!"
"Marie from the supermarket!"
This went on for some time, with Enjolras mostly just laughing and shaking his head, occasionally adding an outraged "NO!" to a particularly upsetting suggestion. To his delight, one name in particular was missing, even as the suggestions came less quickly.
"…do we know any other girls?"
"Marie?"
"Said her"
"This is pathetic guys, we need to get out more."
"Don't blame me" Grantaire laughed
"being gay doesn't mean you can't talk to girls, Grantaire" Enjolras pointed out
"Well I was starting to wonder if it was your excuse" R replied, his smile wide, but not quite reaching his eyes.
"Not me, I'm afraid. Definitely heterosexual." He confirmed.
"Yeah, figured as much" Grantaire laughed, taking a swig of his beer, but it was harsher than before. Enjolras wondered if he'd offended him, but couldn't think how he might have.
"Guys, you have definitely forgotten someone." Combeferre pushed.
"Who, though?" Jehan thought aloud, his voice wondrous.
"Oh, wait! Did we say Éponine?" Bahorel asked, his voice questioning.
"… I don't think we did!" Feuilly burst out.
Grantaire stood up roughly and strode away from the group, in the direction of the bar, his head down.
"You off, Grantaire?" Enjolras shouted after him. The man stopped, his head still down, for just a second longer than usual. Then he span around, head and bottle held high, a crooked smirk on his face.
"Just out of alcohol, lads!"
"Grab me a beer, will you?" Joly called.
"Sure." He spun back around on his heel in an almost graceful motion – until the stumble - before continuing on his way.
"So anyway… Éponine?" Bahorel grinned.
Conceal. Hide it. Don't let them know. "Of course not" he retorted, laughing.
"IT IS!" Courfeyrac announced, pointing at him, wide-eyed.
"What?! No…" he knew as soon as he said it that it wasn't going to cut it.
"IT IS!"
"OH MY GOD"
"NO FUCKING WAY"
"HAHAHAHAAA!"
"DUUUDE!"
There seemed to be nothing for it. "All right, all right… yes. I think Éponine has certain… charms."
The entire party laughed raucously.
"She'd eat him for breakfast" Bahorel cried out, wiping tears from his eyes.
"Imagine!" Bossuet added from the floor, where he had sunk to from laughter. "Imagine those two!"
"Beautiful children" Joly piped up, supressing his own laughter.
"Oh PLEASE can we tell her?" Courfeyrac asked the group as his entire body shook from mirth. He was holding onto Combeferre for support, one hand gripped tightly on his shoulder, the other supporting his apparently aching stomach as he laughed.
"Don't you dare" Combeferre laughed "I have to live with them"
"What would that be like though?! If she liked him too – I mean, far-fetched even for me, no offense mate -"Jehan continued lots taken! And she bloody well does! Enjolras thought to himself.
"They'd kill each other" Feuilly chuckled.
"Nahhh, they'd be at it like rabbits" Combeferre cut in. "I'd never get any sleep." The whole group doubled up, none more so that Courfeyrac who pulled him in for a hug and cried over his shoulder "I LOVE IT WHEN YOU'RE A BITCH LIKE US"
"Is this really that hard to believe guys" Enjolras laughed. "Every single one of you would!"
"Nope" Jehan piped up.
"Well obviously not you, Jehan. Or, apparently, Marius. Or Grantaire, before anyone says it. But the rest of you!"
There was little disagreement.
"I wouldn't just because she's like a sister" Combeferre reasoned. "But I can see she's very attractive, all the same."
"Yeah, same" Joly agreed.
"I think of her like a sister." Bahorel seemed to agree, before continuing. "But a wonderfully un-related sister, who I can still bang." The response was mixed disgust, laughter and rueful agreement.
"You're disgusting" Enjolras laughed.
"You have no moral high ground any more, friend. Unlucky." Courfeyrac laughed.
Éponine nearly choked on her daiquiri as Musichetta burst out laughing and Sylvie's jaw dropped. "W-wh-what?!" she spluttered. "I – well – we're – I'm not…" HOW DOES SHE KNOW!?
"I thought so" Cosette smiled. "Come on, I knew weeks ago – the way you look at each other. It's just so obvious!"
"THANK YOU! I've been saying this since the start!" Musichetta burst out, pointing at her in triumph.
"You knew?!" Sylvie asked, outraged.
"Only because I walked in on them making out like school kids in my kitchen!"
"We are NOT like school kids" Éponine had gathered herself together and decided to try and get the situation back under control.
"They're besotted" Chetta announced.
"We are NOT!" Éponine shouted over the chorus of "Awwwwww!"s.
"I knew for certain when she wasn't interested in Francois." Cosette declared.
"Who?" Éponine asked, suddenly very confused.
"That guy!"
"Oh. Right. But –"
"Ferre says they're at it like rabbits"
"MUSICHETTA!"
"I suppose they would be, all that passion" Sylvie replied sagely.
"And he's goooorgeous" Cosette added.
"COSETTE!"
"Well, he is! And he's got the whole social justice warrior thing, all intense and brooding."
"Whatever, you haven't seen him watching The Little Mermaid."
"You're besotted." Cosette declared, grinning.
"I am NOT!"
"Come on, how long?"
"Well I suppose since just after my birthday but –"
"Wait, since January?!" Sylvie exclaimed, beaming.
"Um… yeah I guess" Éponine admitted, blushing a little as she tried to hold back her smile.
"And to think I thought he didn't do women" Cosette added wistfully.
"So did we all" Chetta grinned, eyebrows raised as she took a sip of her drink.
"Yeah, I really didn't see this one coming" Sylvie agreed. "I always thought it'd be you and Bahorel."
What?! Éponine's eyebrows just about flew off her head and her jaw literally dropped.
"YES!" Musichetta yelled.
"WHAT?!" Éponine spluttered "Bahorel?!"
"Yeah. But actually Enjolras makes sense; you're the only ones stubborn enough for each other."
Éponine desperately fought the smile that she knew was rising. If she smiled now she was all but admitting everything –
"YOU ARE SO IN LOVE!" Cosette burst out.
"WHAT?! NO. No I am not!"
"I know that smile, Jondrette" Musichetta agreed sagely.
"What smile?!"
"I saw it too" Sylvie chimed in. "You're in love."
"You guys are making a much bigger deal out of this than it is."
"If it's not a big deal why didn't you tell us?" Cosette pointed out before taking a triumphant, raised eyebrows-sip of her cocktail.
"ALL OF THIS. THIS IS WHY."
"I think it's because you're smitten." Sylvie teased.
"I am not smitten, what does that even mean?"
"She's right girls, we're missing the point." Cosette cut in suddenly, surprising them all – not least Éponine. "The real question here is what's he like in bed?"
"COSETTE!" all three of the others laughed.
"It's my hen do, indulge me!"
"When did you get so liberated?!" Éponine laughed.
"When I realised I'd only ever sleep with Marius for the rest of my life. Might as well ask, or I'll never know now!"
"Easy tiger" Sylvie laughed. "One guy forever isn't so bad. They get better at stuff."
"Oh REALLY?" Éponine turned to face her friend, eyebrows almost at her hairline. "And pray, tell, what is Feuilly getting the most improved trophy for at Band Camp this year?"
"Don't you dare answer that" Musichetta warned, laughing. "I have to look him in the face tomorrow!"
"Oh, good point!" Éponine agreed, before cracking up.
"You're not off the hook though, he never really talks to us anyway" Cosette clarified with a demure smile.
Damn it.
"Joly seemed to think he hadn't done very much at all" Chetta mused "didn't even make him go with the rest to the clinic."
"They went on a group trip to the STD clinic?" Éponine laughed.
"Have you met my boyfriend? The tall, sandy-haired one? OF COURSE THEY DID." Musichetta laughed.
"Well… I certainly don't agree with Joly's assessment." Éponine stated, coyly, before taking a sip of cocktail.
"Ok, there's really only one question here that we can ask and not be scarred by." Sylvie said, once they'd all had a little squeak at Éponine's answer, and then laughed. "Marks out of ten?"
Ten.
"OK, first. What was Montparnasse again?" Musichetta asked.
"Eurgh, upsettingly I think he was a nine…"
"Ooooh this just got even more interesting" Cosette squealed. "He's either perfect, or not quite as good as Montparnasse… or you're being a cop-out and saying nine again…"
Ten.
"So?"
Ten.
"Dio, don't leave us in suspense, Jondrette…"
"It's so a ten, isn't it!?" Cosette squealed.
Éponine just smiled at her lap.
The other three screamed, and Éponine covered her ears in mock pain, laughing. "Guys!"
None of them spoke for a few seconds, until Musichetta said "is it weird I'm kind of proud of him?"
"Yeah, a bit" Sylvie laughed.
Enjolras staggered out of the door in search of fresh air several hours later. The club would be closing soon, he thought… or at least, he thought he thought. Who really knew anymore?
He pulled out his phone, ignoring the clock face shining reproachfully at him, and noticed the missed call. Éponine! I'll call her back; I was going to call her… I should DEFINITELY CALL HER. This is my best plan ever.
"Hello. The number you have called is unavailable, but if you'd like to leave a message, press 2"
Which one's 2?!
It took a few goes, but he found it.
"Leave your message after the tone. BEEEP."
"ÉPONINE! ÉP ÉP ÉP ÉP ÉPONINE! IT'S ME! ME IS ENJOLRAS! YOU LEFT A THINGY ON MY PHONE BOX, AND I FOUND IT JUST NOW – I'M OUTSIDE, BY THE WAY – AND OH! EVERYONE KNOWS I WANT TO JUMP YOUR BONES EVERY TIME I SEE YOU NOW. BECAUSE I DO. GOD, YOU'RE SEXY. OW! OUT OF MY WAY, LAMPPOST – ANYWAY – ANYYYYWAY… I WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE OK. BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO ALWAYS BE OK, EVEN WHEN IM NOT THERE – I WANT YOU TO BE MORE THAN OK WHEN I AM THERE, I WANT YOU TO BE PERFECT BECAUSE YOU ARE PERFECT EVEN IF SOMETIMES I WANT TO KILL YOU. BUT BASICALLY I ALSO WANT TO BE WITH YOU ALL THE TIME. ALL OF IT. TIME. WITH YOU. GETTING TO KNOW YOU. PROPERLY. NOT IN THE BIBLICAL SENSE – ACTUALLY, WAIT… IS THAT THE SEX ONE? IF IT'S THE SEX ONE, I WANT TO DO THAT. BUT ALSO THE NON-SEX ONE. ALL THE TIME. EVERYONE KNOWS BY THE WAY, THAT I WANNA SEX YOU UP. BUT THEY THINK YOU'RE NOT. WANTING TO I MEAN. SO, THAT WASN'T A FUN CONVERSATION FOR ME SO I DRANK AND THEN WE WENT TO A CLUB AND NOW I'M OUTSIDE AND I PRESSED NUMBER TWO!
THIS MESSAGE IS QUITE LONG ISNT IT?!
MAYBE I SHOULD LEAVE YOU ANOTHER ONE AS WELL INSTEAD OF KEEPING GOING?!
I DON'T KNOW WHERE NUMBER TWO WENT SO I'LL JUST SAY IT NOW – YOU'RE REALLY GREAT. YOU'RE BASICALLY THE BEST THING EVER. NOT THING… PERSON. BEST PERSON EVER. AND I LOVE YOU. ALSO, PLEASE BUY PEANUT BUTTER I ATE IT ALL. I THINK. OK, I'M GOING TO GO AND FIND COURFEYRAC NOW. BYE!"
Please drop a review! I've genuinely missed this!