I'd like to thank winterschild11, Franshes, Charlie-Rose94, cicibunbuns, annabellex2, dmcconnell and jamesmaslowlover for taking the extra time to review. Thanks guys they mean a lot to me and they are the reason I am still here.
Chapter 48: This is the Beat of my Heart
Leora sighed as she laid back on Lilly's bed. Lilly was sitting at her desk trying to do her homework. Leora was bored and no one was home, so she came over here to bug Lilly. That hadn't worked out as planned. Lilly was busy and ignoring her for the moment. It was ok, Leora just didn't want to be alone.
"If I'm so boring you can go bug Miles, I'm sure he'd enjoy your company right now," Lilly laughed.
"He's out with Lucas and Artie again. He wants to make sure Artie is a good guy and treat Lucas right," Leora said.
"Wow, so protective, he wasn't like that when I dated Artie," Lilly replied.
"Well one you're a strong independent woman and two you only dated him for like a few weeks. Besides Lucas and Artie are starting to get serious," Leora said.
"I know, good for them too. Lucas deserves happiness, now if only his mom and dad could see that," Lilly said.
"What do you mean?" Leora asked confused.
"Well Mary and Gerald King aren't too happy that Lucas' birth parents are celebrities and they sure as hell don't want him dating someone who's kind of famous," Lilly said shaking her head. "That's why he's over here all the time. Dad and papi are cooler about him and Artie. I don't even think he's told his parents yet."
"Whoa, I had no idea," Leora said. Her phone rang interrupting their conversation. Leora pulled her phone out and looked at the screen. It read Kyle. "What do you want Kyle? I thought you were busy recording."
"I'm not Kyle, this is Jared," Jared said quickly. He sounded panicked.
"What's wrong? Is Kyle ok?" Leora asked sitting up alert. Lilly looked to her confused. Leora held a hand up to Lilly as she waited for Jared to speak.
"Kyle is fine, it's your dad. He's going to the hospital," Jared said slowly. "They think he had a heart attack."
Leora's phone slipped from her hand. Had she heard him correctly. Did he say heart attack?
"Le? What's wrong?" Lilly asked getting up from her spot.
Leora snapped back to reality. She snatched her phone from the ground. Jared was calling out to her. Her mind was hazy, did he really just say that.
"What do you mean heart attack?" Leora asked. "Where is he? Is he ok?"
"I don't know Leora, they took him in the ambulance. Your pa was with him and they left. We are on our way there, I suggest you get there quickly," Jared said.
"I'm on my way," Leora said hanging up. She jumped up from Lilly's bed. Lilly looked at her confused. "That was Jared, he said my dad had a heart attack," she said slowly.
"Then why are we still here?" Lilly asked. She left her room calling out to Layla. She explained everything to Layla.
"Papi's not home yet," Layla said looking in the direction of his and Logan's bedroom.
"We will call him and I'm sure dad's still at the hospital," Lilly said.
"Let's go," Leora said urgently, tears stinging her eyes. She wanted to get to the hospital. She needed to make sure that Kendall was fine. She almost didn't want to believe that this was real.
-We Are-
Jake pounded on Adam's apartment door. He needed to tell Adam about Kendall. Matt had called him and told him that they couldn't get ahold of him. Adam wasn't answering his phone. He had no idea about Kendall right now. It was times like these that made Jake mad that Adam kept his phone on silent.
"Jake calm down," Damien said placing a hand on his shoulder. Jake jumped, he had almost forgotten that he was even there.
"I can't Day, he needs to know. We have to be there in case…" Jake trailed off. He did not want to finish that thought.
Finally the door opened to reveal a groggy Cooper. He did not looked pleased to have been woken up.
"Dude it's after four? Were you really both just sleeping?" Jake asked annoyed.
"Sorry, we have two kids and they are both napping, we kind of just fell asleep. Is this important?" Cooper asked slightly annoyed.
"Yes, where's Adam. Dad just had a heart attack and we need to get going," Jake said pushing his way into the apartment.
"Jake," Damien said shocked at his behavior.
"What?" Cooper asked shocked.
"Did I stutter? Where is my brother?" Jake asked turning to Cooper.
"Jake calm down," Damien said again.
"Calm down? My dad could be dying for all we know and you want me to calm down?" Jake asked.
"What's going on?" Adam asked walking from his bedroom rubbing his eyes. He spotted Jake and Damien standing there with Cooper. "If you're not careful you'll wake the kids."
"Addie," Cooper started.
"Dad had a heart attack," Jake said quickly, "I don't know how he's doing just that he's on his way to the hospital."
"Are you serious?" Adam asked his jaw dropping.
"Look, you two go to the hospital, be with your family and Coop and I can watch the kids. Just call us as soon as you find out anything," Damien said quickly.
"Yes, Adam let's go," Jake said taking the car keys from Damien. He grabbed Adam's hand and pulled him as quickly as he could. He barely gave Adam time to put his shoes on and grab his own keys and phone. Adam shouted a few things to Cooper before the door shut behind him.
"Check your phone Matt says they've been calling you," Jake said.
"What happened?" Adam asked as he fished his phone from his pocket.
"I don't know Matt said one moment he was fine and the next he was passed out clutching at his heart," Jake said.
"Give me the keys, I'm driving," Adam said. Jake handed his car keys over.
-We Are-
James paced back and forth. He was in the hospital's waiting room. They had taken Kendall away and we're trying to help him. They needed to check him over and get his vitals back to normal, whatever the hell that meant. They were sure it was a heart attack. They had to run all these tests now.
James was freaking out. He had to remain calm though. He had to keep it together. Panicking wouldn't help anything. James was sure that Kyle would be here soon, the guys and Penelope in tow. James paused in his pacing. What about the other three? Or Jennifer and Katie? James hadn't even thought about them. They deserved to know what was going on. In all the panic James' brain had shut off and all he had been thinking about was Kendall.
"Pops!"
James turned and saw Kyle running towards him. The guys and Penelope were right behind him. Kyle ran up to James and threw his arms around him.
"Where is he? Is he ok?" Kyle asked taking a step back to look James in the eyes.
"I don't know they are running tests and a bunch of technical stuff. We have to get a hold of your brothers and sister-" James said.
"Pops it's ok, we called them already. I called grandma Jen and she's calling auntie Katie," Kyle said quickly.
"Oh," James said.
"Yeah it's all taken care of," Jared said.
"Thank you," James said nodding his head.
"The only one we couldn't get ahold of was Adam," Matt said.
"But we did leave a message," Noah said quickly.
"Jake said he'd go get him," Roldy added as well.
"Thank you," James said again.
Kyle led James over to a chair and made him sit down. James sank into the chair lost to his thoughts once more. How could this have happened? Was Kendall really that stressed? Was this his fault for showing up unannounced like this? Was it Kyle's for demanding that he let him start recording? Was it the guys? Or Penelope? His mind was racing, but a nagging feeling in the back of his head reminded him that it was none of their faults. These things happened.
"James, what happened?"
James' head snapped up. He saw Logan approaching him. He should've known that he would be here. His white coat still on, James knew he was working.
"He had a heart attack," James said simply. He felt numb for even saying it. It still didn't feel real to him just yet.
"How did you know?" Kyle asked confused.
"Word gets around, it's not hard to figure out who the forty something from Rocque Records is," Logan said.
"They called him forty? Don't tell him that he'll be pissed," Kyle said quickly.
James looked to his son, before he started laughing. It was so true. If there was one thing Kendall hated was being called forty. He still had a couple more years left before the big four oh. James pulled Kyle into a hug quickly.
"Have you heard anything? They haven't told me anything since we arrived just that they were going to run some tests," James said looking to Logan.
"I'm a surgeon James, I'm not a cardiologist, I'm not even a heart surgeon," Logan said shaking his head. "Our cardiologist is one of the best in the country though."
"Aw Dr. Mitchell, I'm glad you think so."
James looked past Logan and saw a woman standing behind him. She was wearing a white coat and had a few papers in her hands. She had dark black hair pulled back into tight bun, baby blue eyes, and pale skin. She looked all business but was smiling at Logan.
"James, this is our cardiologist Dr. Ramona Hernandez, Dr. Hernandez this is James Knight, Kendall's husband and their son Kyle," Logan said making quick introductions.
"It's nice to meet you, but is Kendall gonna be ok?" James asked quickly. He just wanted to know that Kendall was going to be fine.
"Yeah, is he gonna be ok?" Kyle asked.
"That's what I'm here to find out, he's stable but he hasn't regained consciousness yet. I have a few questions first," Dr. Hernandez said quickly. Kyle spotted Leora, Lilly, and Layla running towards them. He excused himself and kept them back as James talked to the doctor. Jake and Adam arrived next, Kyle stopped them too. They were all eager to know what was going on.
"James! Where's my son! What happened?"
Jennifer Knight came running into the room with Katie right behind her. They both looked scared and worried. James waved them over. He introduced them to Dr. Hernandez
"How did this happen?" Jennifer asked.
"It could be a number of many things, it could be stress related, he could've had something wrong with his heart, his diet. Right now we are not ruling anything out," Dr. Hernandez said quickly.
"Stress," James said, "he's been working nonstop lately and freaking out over every little thing. I've told him to take some time off, but he just wouldn't listen to me," James said.
"Ok and Mrs. Knight, does your family have a history of heart disease?" Dr. Hernandez asked.
"No, not my family, I don't know about Kendall's father's side," Jennifer replied.
"Thank you, like I said he's stable right now, but he hasn't woken up yet," Dr. Hernandez said.
"How long was he out for?" Logan asked, "will there be any…"
"Brain damage, I can't be certain until he wakes up," Dr. Hernandez said.
"Brain damage?" James asked confused. Didn't he have a heart attack? Brain damage came from a stroke didn't it.
"It's a possibility, his heart stopped Mr. Knight, his brain didn't get the oxygen it needed. It might have caused some problems, but we will cross that bridge when we get there," Dr. Hernandez said.
"Ok, when can we see him," James asked.
"In a few minutes, we are getting him set up in a room right now. I will have one of the nurses let you know when you can go. Please try to keep it limited incase he does wake up. The less stress the better," Dr. Hernandez said.
"Ok, we will keep it to a few people at a time," James said nodding his head.
Dr. Hernandez left. James turned to Logan. He wasn't sure what to think right now. His mind was racing again.
"You and the kids go sit with him for now, take them too," he said pointing to Jennifer and Katie. "I'll take my girls home and everything will be ok."
"I hope so," James said.
"Yeah, we'll head out too, just let us know if anything happens," Roldy said looking nice to the other three. They all nodded their heads and jumped up with him.
"Hey pops where's Jenny?" Kyle asked looking around.
"She's with Marcie. I forgot all about that," James said quickly.
"Call her and tell her that I am on my way to get her," Kyle said standing up. He held a hand out to Leora and she tossed him their car keys. He left before anyone could protest.
"James do you mind if I stay?" Penelope asked.
"Of course Pen, you're probably the reason he's still alive," James said pulling the young blonde girl into a hug. Her cheeks tinted pink with embarrassment.
"Pen? As in Penelope?" Jennifer asked.
"Oh yeah, you haven't met yet," James said quickly. "This is Penelope Kendall's daughter," he said.
"Kendall wasn't joking you do look a lot like Jo," Katie said walking up to her. "I'm Katie by the way."
"It nice to meet you both, I don't know what Kendall's said about me..." Penelope started.
"We know, it's ok hon, you didn't ask for this," Jennifer said with a warm smile. "You have your family and we have ours. You are always welcome though."
"Thanks," Penelope said blushing once more.
-We Are-
Jared was walking out to his car with the guys. They weren't talking like they normally did. It was quiet. They were all thinking about Kendall and praying to god that he was gonna be alright.
"Hey!"
Jared turned as Kyle ran up to him. He still looked scared like he had been when Kendall collapsed. Jared arched a brow at him.
"I have to go get Jenny, and would you mind helping. I want to talk to you," Kyle said lowly. The guys were looking at him curiously.
"Sure," Jared said. He fished his keys from his pocket. He turned and tossed them to Roldy. "I'm going with Kyle I'll see you in a bit. Do not let Noah drive."
"Hey, I'm an awesome driver," Noah retorted.
"Jared," Roldy said silencing his fiancé.
"Ro it's fine, Kyle wants to talk and he can drop me off at the Palm Woods later," Jared said looking to the young blonde who agreed. "See it'll be fine now go."
Kyle walked over to his car with Jared right behind him. Once they reached the car, Kyle sighed and turned to face the older male.
"What's wrong Kyle?" Jared asked.
"I'm scared," Kyle admitted looking anywhere but at Jared. "They were going to let us go sit with him and just the thought of going in there with him like that...I panicked and offered to get Jenny."
"Kyle," Jared said softly. He took Kyle's chin in his hand and made him look him in the eyes. "you heard the doctor. Everything looks good so far."
"Yeah so far, but she also said they wouldn't know anything until he wakes up," Kyle replied.
"True, but this is your dad we're talking about. He will defy all odds and be back to his old self in no time," Jared said quickly.
"He's not invincible," Kyle said hanging his head. He was still thinking about what he saw at Rocque Records.
"Give me your keys," Jared said holding his hand out. Kyle handed the keys over without a fight.
"Can we just go?" Kyle asked.
"Of course," Jared replied. The two got into the car. "Everything is going to be alright you'll see."
Kyle's phone started to ring. He dug it from his pocket. He saw Miles' name on his screen. Lilly had probably called him and told him everything. Kyle answered his phone knowing that Miles would continue to call until he answered.
-We Are-
James excused himself from Kendall's room. They had been in there for almost an hour now. Nothing had changed. A few nurses came to check up on Kendall, but everything remained the same.
When James had first entered the room he had been shocked to see Kendall hooked up to all sorts of machines. He was just thankful a ventilator wasn't one of them. His heart rate monitor had been the only thing to make a sound in the room.
Adam and Leora had claimed a window as a seat. They just sat there silently. Jake claimed a chair across from Kendall. Jennifer quickly claimed one of the chairs by the bed while James say on the other side. Katie and Penelope took to leaning against the wall just watching Kendall worriedly. Everyone was silent and James needed to just get away for a moment.
James made his way past the nurses station. He ran into Logan, who was changed from his work clothes. He looked worried.
"You're back?" James asked.
"He's practically like a brother to me James, you too. Of course I'm back," Logan replied. James smiled and hugged Logan. "Getting some air?"
"Yeah, nothing's changed," James said nodding his head. The two made their way outside. James fell onto a bench. Logan joined him.
"The girls are upset and I think they called Miles and he's freaking out. They called Carlos but he's on set, so I doubt he even got the message yet," Logan said slowly, almost as if e wasn't sure what he was doing.
"Speaking of Carlos..." James said.
"I was going too. I want to," Logan said looking away from James. "I mean you're not the first to say something. I had every intention to talk to him last night, but when I saw him, I just...I couldn't."
"Logan-" James started.
"He's the father of my children James, he's the love of my life and our marriage is far from perfect, if I accuse him of...doing that without having seen anything for myself," Logan trailed off.
"I get it Logan, I do, but I know what I saw," James said.
"What exactly did you see?" Logan asked curiously.
"I told you I was out with a few work buddies and he was there too with that Selene. They were in a booth getting real chummy. It wasn't exactly cheating, but it wasn't innocent either. They were getting real close and she was touching him any chance she got," James said making a face.
"Ok how drinks did you have?" Logan asked wanting to cover every base.
"That's just it, I was the DD I had been drinking water," James replied.
The two lapsed into silence. Logan seemed to be letting this all sink in again. James hated to be the person to do this to him, but he knew that Logan would do this for him if he had to.
"I don't want to lose him James, I love him," Logan said quickly.
"I know Logan, but if you don't talk to him this might turn into something worse," James said.
"I'm scared,"
"Pops?"
James looked up and Kyle and Jared walked up to him with Jenny in between them. She was smiling and babbling happily.
"There's my baby girl," James said taking the distraction. He jumped up and scooped Jenny up in his arms. She laughed and hugged James. She gave him a big wet kiss on the cheek as well.
"Anything yet?" Kyle asked.
"No, not yet, I just came out here to get some air," James said looking to Jared confused.
"Ok, well we will head inside want us to take Jenny?" Kyle asked taking James' attention back.
"No it's ok, I'll keep her," James said.
Kyle grabbed Jared's hand and pulled him away from the two. James watched them go. He sighed and looked down to Jenny.
"Kyle was there when Kendall collapsed," James said.
"What?" Logan asked shocked. "Have you talked to him?"
"Not yet," James said not taking his eyes off his daughter. "I'm still trying to process this for myself. What do I even say to him?"
"I don't know James, but if he's anything like you this is affecting him more than he's letting on. Why do you think he offered to go get Jenny?" Logan arched a brow at his friend. Jenny looked over to Logan at the mention of her name.
"I know Logan, but what am I supposed to do? Yes he saw his dad collapse, but I saw my husband collapse and held him in my arms not sure if he was going to die," James snapped. Logan took Jenny from James as she looked scared. James let him. Tears started to slip down his cheeks.
"I don't know James, there isn't really a manual for parenting," Logan said, "just talk to him. It might help you both."
-We Are-
Miles frowned as he made his way up the front steps with Lucas right behind him. They had said goodbye to Artie after Miles received a call from Lilly. They raced home to see what was going on. Miles had called Kyle, but he hadn't gotten much from him.
They entered the house and ran right to the living room. Lilly and Layla were there sitting talking. The girls looked up at them.
"What's going on? I called Kyle and he said he had a heart attack, is it true?" Miles asked. Lilly nodded her head.
"How? Isn't he a bit young for this kind of stuff?" Lucas said.
"Dad thinks it might be stress related," Lilly explained.
"He also said not to worry that Dr. Hernandez is the one of the best cardiologists in the country and that Kendall is going to be ok," Layla chimed in.
"You were so freaked on the phone Lil, I thought it was dad or papi at first," Miles said.
"Sorry, but he's family too," Lilly replied.
"I know, next time either try to keep a bit calm on the phone or have someone else do it," Miles said.
"So, do they know what's wrong? What caused it," Lucas asked.
"Stress," Lilly said again, "dad said he's a workaholic and James in an enabler."
"Harsh Lil," Lucas said.
"But so true," Miles added with a smirk.
-We Are-
Logan sighed as he looked to his watch again. It was getting late. He hadn't heard from Carlos all day. He knew that his husband was working, but this was an emergency. Kendall was sick and he needed to know.
Logan stood and made his way to the kitchen. He dug into Carlos' stash of snack cakes. It was a bad habit, he had picked up when he was stressed, or worried, or scared.
Logan wasn't scared for Kendall. He knew that everything was going to be fine. At least he hoped it would be. He was scared of the conversation he needed to have with his husband. Logan couldn't help but think about his conversation with James. He was right, Logan was chickening out. He needed to man up and just ask Carlos. There had to be a reasonable explanation. There just had to be. If there wasn't one, Logan wasn't sure what he would do.
Logan heard the front close. He walked out to the hallway I time for Carlos to run past him and pause. The Latino turned back to Logan.
"I just got your message? Is it true? Is he ok?" Carlos asked quickly.
"Yes Kendall had a heart attack, most likely stress induced. As far as I know everything looks fine, we are just waiting for him to wake up," Logan replied.
"Have you been to the hospital?" Carlos asked.
"Yeah, but everyone else is there too. I figure it's best to leave it to them. They will call as soon as anything happens," Logan shrugged. He turned and walked back into the kitchen. Carlos followed him. Logan picked up the snack cakes he had been eating and offered Carlos one.
"You're eating my cupcakes, are you ok?" Carlos asked knowing something was wrong.
"I'm worried about Kendall," Logan shrugged.
"No, you've been acting really weird these last few days," Carlos said slowly.
"It's just...it's nothing Los, I'm fine," Logan sighed.
"No you're not. I know you well enough to know when something is wrong Logan," Carlos said.
"It's nothing, I'm just worried about Kendall," Logan said again. He couldn't do it. If he was wrong and he accused Carlos of this, it would probably end their marriage.
"I thought we were better than that," Carlos sighed.
"It's nothing Los, don't worry about," Logan said forcing a smile.
"But it is. I can see that something is wrong," Carlos said annoyed.
"Please just drop it," Logan pleaded.
"Why? Keeping secrets now are we?" Carlos asked arching a brow at his husband.
Logan paused at that. Was Carlos mad at him? He was just trying to protect their marriage, which wasn't as stable as Logan like to say it was. Was it worth saving. Logan liked to believe it was, but if this was how Carlos was going to react.
"Not me," Logan said defensively. "What about you?"
"What? Why would I keep secrets from you?" Carlos asked shocked.
"I don't know, but I...I just...people are telling me I need to open up my eyes before it's too late," Logan sighed turning away from the Latino.
"What are you talking about?" Carlos asked confused.
"I don't know, I just...I don't know what what to think anymore," Logan admitted still not looking at Carlos.
"You're not making sense, just say what's on your mind," Carlos begged.
"What's going on with you and Selene?" Logan asked finally turning to look at Carlos. He almost wished he hadn't. Carlos looked like a deer caught in the headlights.
"What do you mean? She's my co-worker," Carlos said.
"A few people have approached me asking about you and her. I didn't want to believe it, but the other day...someone close said something and it got me thinking. I've been in denial," Logan said simply.
"Denial over what?" Carlos asked crossing his arms over his chest.
"You and her," Logan replied.
"You're insane, are you really going to do this now? After everything that happened today, we should be with James and the kids," Carlos said.
"Kendall is going to be fine, now tell me why I had to hear you were out with her the other night when you told me you were working late," Logan said quickly.
"What?" Carlos asked his expression going blank. "Who told you that?"
"Doesn't matter, someone I trust to never lie to me. Something I can't trust you for," Logan snapped.
"Don't be ridiculous," Carlos said.
"Then tell me why you were out with her alone and getting all cozy!" Logan snapped.
"Look it's not like that," Carlos sighed.
"Then what is it Carlos?" Logan asked, "Because all these people can't be making things up. I've seen the photographs and it's not hard to put the pieces together."
"You're going to buy a bunch of bull shit from gossip magazines," Carlos asked.
"No I'm going to believe my best friend, and that fact that you haven't denied any of it," Logan said. "Just tell me you're not sleeping with her." He wanted to end this argument. Fighting with Carlos wasn't what he wanted. They were supposed to be worried about Kendall right now. "Just tell me nothing is happening with her." He took a step closer to his husband.
"Logan," Carlos sighed.
"Carlos please," Logan begged. He wanted to hear the truth, even if it would hurt. He needed to know where they stood.
"It's not like that," Carlos said tears springing to his eyes. "I've never slept with her, but it was one kiss." He admitted looking at his feet.
"I knew it." Logan jumped back from Carlos.
"It meant nothing. We were in New York and went for drinks. She...she listened to me. It was just nice to have someone make me feel like I mattered."
"I make you feel like you don't matter," Logan asked in a small voice. He was fighting back tears now. He almost didn't want to believe it, but Carlos had cheated on him.
"No, not anymore. I just...I was feeling vulnerable and she was there. It meant nothing," Carlos said.
"Cheating is cheating anyway you look at it," Logan said avoiding looking at the Latino.
"I didn't mean to. Just the thought of you and the kids. It made me realize what I was doing was wrong. I told her so and we are just friends now," Carlos said quickly.
"I can't even look at you right now, I just...I can't," Logan said turning and leaving the kitchen tears slipping down his cheeks. He paused when he saw Lilly, Layla, and Miles all standing at the top if the stairs. They were all looking at him wide eyed.
"Logan wait," Carlos said grabbing his arm. Carlos looked up at the kids as well. Logan jerked away from the Latino.
"No, don't touch me," Logan snapped.
"Let me explain," -
Logan turned on his heel and left the kitchen. He headed down the hallway grabbing his coat and car keys on the way. It hurt him to know that Carlos had even considered cheating. Was he not enough? DId their kids not matter to him?
Logan stormed out of the house ignoring Carlos calling for him. He had been in denial for so long now, it hurt to know the truth. Logan half wished he hadn't said anything.
-We Are-
James was sitting alone in the small cafe area. He had a small cup of coffee sitting in front of him. He hadn't left the hospital all day. Kendall hadn't woken up yet, and James was worried. He would wander around from Kendall's room to the waiting room, where Kyle was. James had called Gia after a while telling her that he had a family emergency and he wasn't sure when he would be back. She understood and told him to take all the time he needed. Jennifer was still here with the kids. Katie had left to be with her kids and Damien and Cooper eventually showed up with Miri and Kenny. Everybody was just kind of wandering around talking with one another. Kyle refused to go in there by Kendall. James understood and Jared stayed by Kyle's side all night.
James couldn't help but worry that something was wrong. Dr. Hernandez had come and gone throughout the day. She couldn't give him many answers, just take more tests. That's all that seemed to be going on. James didn't want more tests, he wanted answers.
"He's gonna wake up you know."
James looked up and saw Jennifer standing above him. She had a cup of coffee in her hand as well. She took the seat across from James.
"I know, I'm just worried," James said, "I'll always be worried for him or the kids. I just...I was so scared I was going to lose him."
"I know the feeling, when Kyle called me I thought the worst. He was crying and I just...there was a chance that I had lost my son. That's a scary thought," Jennifer said taking a sip of her coffee.
"I agree, I can't imagine what Kyle felt seeing all that. I don't even know what to say to him. You saw him, he refuses to go in there," James said.
"Give him some time, like you said he saw everything as well. He needs to process things and make sense of it all. I think having Jared around is a good idea. He seems like a good kid," Jennifer said.
"He is, despite appearances," James said nodding his head.
In the time that James had gotten to know Jared, he had grown fond of him. He could see why he was Kendall's favorite. He was just like Kendall in a lot of ways. He was a confident leader and took charge with ease. That's not to say he didn't have his faults, but he was a perfect match for Kyle. They were so opposite it worked.
"It'll be ok James," Jennifer said taking his hand in hers. "He's here at the hospital and they are doing all that they can for him. He's in good hands."
"I hope so," James sighed.
"Pops!"
James and Jennifer looked over to the entrance to the small cafe. Leora was standing there. She looked panicked.
"What's wrong?" James asked fearing the worst. Had something happened with Kendall.
"I think Kyle's having a panic attack," Leora said.
"What? He hasn't had one in years," James said jumping up. The three left the cafe. They headed out to the waiting room. They arrived in time to see Jared run up to Kyle, who was sitting in a chair with his arms wrapped around himself, his breathing was quick and strained.
"Kyle, look at me," Jared said making the young blonde look him in the eye. He took Kyle's hand in his and placed it over his heart. "Feel the beat of my heart, focus on that," he said softly.
Everyone stood back and watched the him. Kyle's eyes never left Jared's as he talked softly to him. Eventually Jared asked someone to get some water. Damien quickly got him a glass from the water fountain. Kyle thanked him and took a sip.
"What was that?" Leora asked looking at Jared shocked.
"I know a panic attack when I see one," Jared replied. He looked to Adam and Jake. "What did you do?"
"It wasn't on purpose," Jake said quickly.
"I just think he should be with us with dad," Adam said.
"Addie don't start," Cooper sighed from his spot rocking Kenny.
"You don't get it," Kyle started annoyed.
"Look you guys weren't there, he was. Everyone deals with things differently," Jared said.
"Couldn't have said it better myself," James said making himself known to the four. They all looked to him shocked. "You two know better," he said looking to his oldest sons.
"Sorry, we didn't mean to. He hasn't had a panic attack in years," Jake said quickly.
"This is a thing?" Jared asked.
"Used to be, who taught you that?" James asked.
"Deanna, Roldy's mom, he used to have them to. Believe it or not, but Ro used to be a very panicky kid and Noah too. He used to have them as well," Jared said.
"I believe it," Kyle said finally lifting his head and looking to the older male. He gave him a small smile.
"Are you ok?" Jared asked.
"Yeah, I just-I-I can't go in there right now," Kyle said looking down at the ground.
"That's ok sweetie," Jennifer said walking up to him. She pulled him into a hug sending small glares at her other two grandsons. They both looked away from her.
"Come on, let's just go for a walk outside and clear our heads. No use being cooped up in here, your dad's not going anywhere," James said quickly.
"I agree," Jennifer said letting go of Kyle. Everyone else agreed as well. They started to follow James out. Everyone but Kyle.
"You guys go ahead I have to use the bathroom, I'll catch up," Kyle said.
"Want me to wait for you," Jared asked.
"No you go ahead," Kyle said.
"Are you sure?" Jared asked glancing to Jake.
Kyle rolled his eyes and turned to Jake. It was no secret that Jake wasn't happy with Kyle's decision to get back together with Jared. Kyle had been prepared for this though. Jake was the same way when Adam and Cooper broke up the first time as well.
"Jake leave him alone," Kyle said simply. "Just go and I will catch up."
Everyone left. Kyle watched them for a moment. Leora had to practically drag Jared away while she grabbed his ear off. Penelope followed the two laughing. Jake and Adam walked away avoiding James and Jennifer. Damien and Cooper followed with Cooper still rocking Kenny gently in his arms. James and Jennifer took up the rear with Miri and Jenny.
Once they were out of sight Kyle sank back into his chair. He didn't really have to use the bathroom, he just wanted to be alone for a few minutes. He didn't like people hovering over him. Jared was the worst. He wouldn't leave Kyle alone. Kyle loved him, he just needed a little space. A few minutes alone with his thoughts.
Kyle sat there thinking over Adam's words. He should've been with them in Kendall's room. Kyle had tried to gather the courage to do so a few times. Every time he thought about it, he thought about seeing Kendall gasping for air or collapsed on the ground. It made him so scared of finding Kendall like that again, that he couldn't go in there. No matter how many times he was told that Kendall was fine.
A few minutes passed and Kyle sighed. He was being childish about this. Kendall was his dad and he needed to be there for him. Kendall would be there for him if the roles were reversed. In fact the last two times Kyle had wound up in the hospital like this Kendall was there. He was always there. The least Kyle could do was be there for him.
Having himself from his chair, Kyle ventured down the hallway towards Kendall's room. He stopped in front of the door. His mind was racing. What if something happened while everyone was gone? What if the doctors were wrong and Kendall was never going to wake up? What if...what if.
"No," Kyle told himself as he shook his head. He was just being paranoid. "Come on, he's your dad, you can do this." He told himself.
Kyle placed his hand in on the door knob. He could practically hear his heart beatingHe didn't know why e was working himself up over this. It was just his dad. Kyle took a deep breath and entered the room.
The room was white and bleak like all hospital room. The only sound in the room was that of the heart monitors steady beat. It was the only think telling Kyle that Kendall was ok, for now.
Kyle finally looked to Kendall. He was laying in the hospital bed. It was almost as if he was just sleeping. Kyle knew better though. His feet moved of their own accord. Next think Kyle knew he was sitting beside Kendall.
"Dad," Kyle said softly. He wasn't sure what he was doing. "I don't know if you can hear me...but we are all here waiting for you. I just want you to wake up so we know that you're ok."
Kyle took Kendall's hand in his, fighting back tears. All he was yes was for everything to be ok. He wanted Kendall to wake up so everyone could stop worrying.
Kendall's hand twitched in his. Kyle looked up from his hand to his face. His hand moved again.
"Dad?"
Kyle watched as Kendall's face scrunched up. He was waking up, or trying to. Kyle felt his heart start to beat faster in anticipation. This was what everyone had been waiting for.
"Dad, can you hear me?" Kyle asked eagerly. Kendall finally opened his eyes and looked to Kyle.
"Kyle?"
So there you go. Another chapter done. I feel this is a very Kyle centric chapter. Sorry for that. So Kendall had a heart attack, will there be any lasting effects? Carlos cheated! Did Logan overreact, or underreact? Why does Jake seem to hate Jared? I guess that's all I got for now. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and there is one more left. Then onto Happy Mistakes! As always more to come and I will see you all next time.
Always
OUTOFMYMIND