Authors Note: So here is the next update. Sorry for the delay, and the crappy update. Thanks for the reviews, follows and favorites.

Disclaimer: I do not own Game of Thrones, I own only Johanna.

Chapter 12: Loss

Johanna

Johanna felt as if someone had gutted her, taken a sword and sliced her body open. She had not uttered a word to her husband in a week. She had chose to ignore him, even with his pleading glances and furrowed brow. She knew Robb was growing increasingly irate with her but she couldn't help it, she was bitter. Johanna wasn't bitter with him, but with herself. She didn't want to believe her Uncle Jaime, the man who had always been her shinning Knight, could so something so cruel. Killing men in the streets, attacking Robb's father, she couldn't accept that. But over the week she had begun to believe his word.

The words had settled into her mind, and into her heart. Johanna felt sick. She hated herself for believing Robb but she knew he had no reason to lie to her. He gained nothing from telling her about her family. He didn't get a prize or anything for revealing the horrid thing her Uncle had done to his father. Johanna knew her husband didn't even want to tell her, he was willing to keep it from her for the sake of their marriage. He loved her, Robb Stark loved her and she didn't know what to do. His love was different, and it confused her.

He wasn't selfish, he was trying to protect her. There was no motive in it for him, he was honestly looking out for her. And how did she repay him? She ignored him for a week. She didn't speak to him, look at him. She spoke only to his brothers, and it drove Robb mad. She could tell.

She had made her mind up after a week she would find him, and tell him what was going on. Johanna was on her way to see him when Maester Luwin handed her a piece of parchment before leaving. He didn't say a word, but his sad eyes said much. Johanna looked at the words scrawled across the page, and once more it felt like her body was rid of it's organs. Pain tore through her and tears filled her eyes.

Johanna made her way to the small Sept built for the Lady of Winterfell, for Catelyn Stark. She found herself kneeling and praying, her chest breaking open. She did not need to feel this aching sadness, she cared not for the man. He was her father, her blood, but he meant nothing to her. Why did she ache? Why did her heart shatter as she clutched the parchment in her hands. He had never given her the time of day, never loved her, never showed her anything beyond contention. Why did she care now?

"Lady Johanna?" She didn't look to the voice, she was frozen.

She didn't understand, she couldn't understand why tears were falling down her face. Robert Baratheon was her father but she never loved him, and yet he was dead. He was dead and she felt like everything was broken around her. First her Uncle kills people, and her father dies. She should have been there, should have been home. Her mother would not be mourning her father but she would be worried for her twin brother. Her siblings no doubt were upset, the young ones they didn't know any better. It was their father, their blood.

"Lady Johanna," this time she turns to look at Theon Greyjoy. "Robb wishes to see you, follow me."

She didn't move, she turned her face away again. She didn't want him to see her crying, to see the tears on her face. She was not one to cry in front of anyone, let alone men like Theon Greyjoy. She heard him sigh and finally walk away, leaving her to think. Her mind was a mess, and all she could do was kneel down on the stone floor and cry. She didn't want this sadness, this anguish, for a man who did nothing for her. He shipped her away, sent her to marry a stranger, ripped her from everything she had ever known. Yet she wept for him, mourned the loss of the man who fathered her. She would miss him, even if she couldn't say it out loud. She didn't even want to admit to herself that she was upset. She was growing weak, Winterfell and Robb Stark were making her weak.

"Johanna," his voice only caused her to keep her head down. "Johanna, you can't keep ignoring me."

His footsteps were heavy on the stone floor, and his voice was as cold as the winter air. She didn't look, she just kept her eyes screwed shut willing the tears to stop. She would not cry in front of him, not again. She felt him kneel behind her, his warmth against her back. She didn't move, didn't flinch as his arms made there way around her waist.

"Just talk to me, you promised we were in this together," he mumbled.

"I can't," her voice came out in a chocked whisper.

"You can, you just don't want to," he nearly growled at her. "You're mad because I told you the truth about your Uncle, and it bothers you. It bothers you that the one person you have some much faith in is capable of hurting innocents."

She knew he was right, she was angry with him and bitter. But that had long since gone, those feelings had been replaced with irreparable sadness. A sadness she didn't want. She clutched the parchment tighter before placing in his hand. He removed his arms from her waist no doubt to read it.

"Johanna,I-"

"Don't, don't say it," her words came from gritted teeth. "You saying sorry won't fix it, won't bring him back. It won't change how I am feeling."

She was so sad, so broken, and it was killing her. She lost her whole life back in Kings Landing, she had to marry a stranger, her brother probably didn't love her anymore, she lost her child and now her father. She had nothing. She could do nothing. She was stupid, and foolish. She just wanted to be the princess again, be the girl locked away inside the Red Keep. The girl who would sneak away to bury her feet in the sand even for just a moment, this wasn't the life she wanted.

"He was a good man, my father-"

"He wasn't a good man, Robb Stark, don't even try to paint him that way," she was on her feet in an instant. She turned to look her husband in the eye, he too now standing. "He was cruel, and drunk. He had many women in his bed, and he didn't care about his children. Yet here I am crying and mourning for a man who gave no thought to me."

She didn't mean to lose her temper but she could let him paint her father as some great King. The man was a horrible father, and a nasty man. He was not good, or kind, in anyway.

"You don't mean that, he was your father."

"You don't understand because your family is so perfect," she groaned. Johanna went to leave,went to turn from him.

Johanna didn't mean to say that, didn't want to say that. The Lannisters and their blood were perfect. They were composed and poised, yet here she was breaking all that. She was not going to let him know how damaged her family was, how messed up her father was. She was like her mother but for a moment she felt her fury, the fury of her father.

"Johanna, we don't have to talk about it," his hand gently touched her shoulder. "We don't have to discuss any of it, just don't do this to me again."

She knew he was right, she couldn't ignore him. Not now. Everything was changing, and for a reason unknown to her she knew it was just the beginning. His father was attacked by her Uncle, and then her King father was dead. Life would be changing for both of them.

"My brother will be King you know?" She pulled at her hair, wondering how she felt about it.

"I do," Robb did not sound pleased by the idea. His grip on her shoulder tighten lightly, turning her to look into his eyes. "Do you think he'll make a good King?"

"Of course ,I do, he's my brother."

Johanna wanted to believe her own words but her doubts about Joffrey had increased in the months without letters. She felt heartbroken, crushed, that her one love couldn't even send her a raven. She sent him dozens, and he could do nothing to respond to her. Did Joffrey no longer want her? He had promised when he was King she would go home, but she no longer held on to that fantasy.

Robb said nothing more, his eyes were lingering on her face. She didn't know what he was looking at, what he was searching for her in her face. Their eyes met, and for a moment their gaze lingered together before she turned her eyes away. Tears began to fall again, the small anger she had felt replaced once more with a sadness she could not handle. As she let the silent tears fall Robb pulled her into his chest, letting her face bury into him.

"It's alright to be sad, to mourn him," his voice was muffled against her hair. "You could hate him but it doesn't change that he was your father and some part of you loved him."

Johanna knew he was right, but she didn't care. She didn't want to be broken, she wanted to be like her mother. She knew in Kings Landing her mother would no doubt be fine, and be strong, but yet Johanna was broken. Everything had been taken from her, and everything had changed for her. Nothing was as it should have been, nothing. Her life was meant to be good, but it was nothing but a mess.

"We'll get through this," he pressed his lips to her hair. "You mean a lot to me, and we can do this together. I just need you to trust me."

"I need you to trust me," was her muffled response.

Robb didn't answer, didn't say anything just held her tighter. She did not doubt his lack of trust in her, but she was beginning not to blame him. Her Uncle had attacked his father, but he had to trust her just as much. Until they trusted each other, until they learned to be at peace with one another nothing would work out between them.

"Come now, let's get you some dinner, my love."

She didn't argue as she pulled back from him, a faint smile upon her small lips. He took her hand in his own and walked her from the Sept, a peaceful silence between them. Robb Stark loved her, but he didn't trust her, and Johanna could not understand how that was possible. Could you love someone you didn't trust?

Robb

Johanna had finally fallen asleep beside him, her even breathing bringing an overwhelming comfort to Robb. She had ignored him for a week, it was driving him to madness but when Theon found him to tell him she was crying, he felt horrid. He couldn't imagine what her tears were over, he thought for a fleeting moment it was his fault. It wasn't until he found her that he knew the truth. She had lost her father, the King was dead.

He didn't know what that would mean for his family but he was worried, with the King dead and his father injured anything could happen. Jaime Lannister had fled to Casterly Rock after attacking his father, and if his father made a move against them it would surely mean war now that his friend was dead. What would that mean for Robb and his wife? Would war end their marriage?

She had asked him if he trusted her, but he didn't. He couldn't trust her, not yet. He knew it was wrong but he had to worry about too much, her family had made a very big mess by trying to kill his family. Johanna's own family took her child from her, they were in the wrong, but he knew he couldn't speak. She wouldn't believe him anyway, he wasn't sure he even believed himself. Why would he family do that?

"Robb," his wife whimpered beside him. Her eyes still shut. "Robb, please don't."

She was shaking, and her breathing began to elevate. With a sigh Robb pulled her close, laying her head upon his chest. The shaking in her body ceased as he held her, the whimpering soon leaving her as well. He didn't know what her dream was, but he knew it was him who was causing her the pain. He was the problem, to her anyway, she failed to see the true issue.

As Robb held her close to his chest he wished he could tell her everything, tell her all the truths but he knew he couldn't. He had to protect her, and he would do so for as long as he could. He had to. Robb had to protect everyone.

A/N: I know this chapter is short, and probably sucks but I have been having issues writing. I hope you like it anyway.