My Pet Peeve
Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.
When they arrived Shikamaru could see a mass of people standing outside the lecture theatre. Most of them he didn't know so he could expect no comment from them but he could he see Sasuke and Kiba talking by the doors. This made a change. Usually Kiba was half dead until the early evening so the fact he was up before three was impressive. Although this also meant that he would have to explain Hidan to one of the most annoying people he knew.
Better now than later... It wasn't like there was much to explain anyway. He'd simply acquired a stalker... Ok that was really weird. Hidan was a little bemused at being around so many people and was watching everyone with wary interest. He was also walking closer to Shikamaru than was necessary and creeping him out.
"Hi guys!" Ok that sounded way more eager than he usually was. And you could tell both of them noticed from the way they both stared. Then they noticed Hidan almost touching him and eyebrows were raised.
"Err Hi Shika." Sasuke was being at least partly polite, which was more than could be said for Kiba.
"Who the hell's this? Have you found yourself a boyfriend?" The guy was even snickering and it was hard not to punch him. That required effort though and effort was what other people did.
"No he's not my boyfriend you troublesome fool; he's just... staying with me for a while."
"Staying with you?" Sasuke was too smart not to notice.
"It's kind of complicated. I'll explain later when it's just us." There was no way he was discussing things in public.
"Ah well nice to meet ya' man, I'm Kiba." Kiba walked over and held his hand out grinning. Hidan just stared. "Hey! Don't ignore me!"
"He's not ignoring you he just doesn't talk much. His name's Hidan."
"Okay... This is kind of weird... Anyway I'm Kiba and the guy with the stuck up expression and the hair like a bird's ass is Sasuke."
"Don't make me set Gaara on you again you asshole." One thing you never do is piss off an Uchiha. Particularly one known to keep a sword in his room.
As expected Hidan looked mostly bored in the lecture theatre. It was on microbes so unlikely to be majorly interesting at the best of times. Shikamaru could feel his eyelids growing heavy and wanted desperately to fall asleep as per usual but if he did he wouldn't be able to watch the fool so he had to force himself to concentrate.
Luckily there was some small entertainment in the form of his bickering friends. Sasuke was trying to concentrate and write down perfectly neat and well ordered notes. Kiba, being an asshole, had sat behind him and kept nudging his friend's arm with his foot causing him to scribble on the page. This led to the Uchiha grabbing any object he could find and flinging it hard. Their lecturer was a short sighted and droning old man who never noticed anything. The only time anyone paid attention was when he got a little overexcited with his hand gestures and hit the microphone causing a loud banging noise that caused every sleepy student to practically shit themselves.
Shikamaru was distracted from his entertainment by Hidan's head resting on his shoulder. Clearly this lecture was too boring and the boy was sick of it. Not that he blamed him. The fight between the other two was gradually escalating as Kiba started hitting harder and harder, while Sasuke began throwing larger objects. Eventually the Uchiha decided to end it once and for all by grabbing the biggest textbook he had in his bag, standing up, and smacking Kiba on the head with it.
"What the fuck?! That really fucking hurt!" Everyone started sniggering.
"You got was coming to you moron." By now their lecturer had noticed and despite telling everyone to calm down, was still being greatly ignored by the majority.
"I'll have you for that!" Kiba then practically dove off the chair and onto Sasuke where they began grappling each other on the floor. The whole room was now roaring with laughter and Shikamaru had to push off the sleeping fool and move to avoid being kicked.
Hidan soon woke up when he noticed that his arm rest had moved. When he noticed the pair grappling on the floor he decided to shift ass before he got caught up in it. Until Kiba's foot swung out and kicked him in the shin. That simply would not do. He reached down and lifted up the kicking brunette by his collar and pulled him up to eye level. Then all hell broke loose.
"YOU FUCKING SACK OF SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM?! TOUCH ME AGAIN AND I SWEAR I WILL GET A FUCKING KNIFE AND CUT YOU A NEW ASSHOLE, YOU USELESS CUNT!"
The room was absolutely silent and most people in the room were gaping at the sheer amount of rage. Having finished his little rant Hidan calmly put the boy down, walked over to Shikamaru and started dragging him out the room.
Holy hell. Where did that come from? Once they were a decent distance from the building they came to a standstill, waiting for a few minutes until Sasuke and Kiba caught up. Although maybe having Kiba here would be a bad idea...
"Go over there a minute please Hidan." He looked a little put out but did as he was told and walked away. At least he could sort this out without worrying that would happen again.
"I thought you said he didn't talk much! What the fuck was that?!" It was understandable he'd be pissed off. Hidan was watching them from a few metres away but seemed unbothered about what they were saying.
"I've never heard him say more than a simple sentence."
"He doesn't seem quite stable either. What is going on with this guy?"
"I don't know..."
"You don't know?!" Kiba was shouting now causing a few of the people from their lectures to come over to watch round two.
"I think we should continue this somewhere else..." Sasuke nodded and started leading Kiba away.
"Calm down dog boy, we'll sort this out when we get home."
"We better or I swear I will kill you."
-Page Break-
When they got to the house, Sasuke marched them into the lounge and stared at Hidan whilst pointing at the sofa.
"Sit." The silver haired boy looked unimpressed. "Sit. Down. Now." A normal person would've sat by now looking terrified for their life and shielding their balls. Not Hidan. He simply continued to stare at Sasuke as if he was simply a minor annoyance.
"Just sit down Hidan." Shikamaru was tired and just wanted to get this done as soon as possible. He was regretting ever helping the troublesome fool. The second he had said anything Hidan instantly brightened and sat down. Clearly he was the only person the boy would listen to. "Wait here." It'd be easier to talk about him if he wasn't around.
Once they were safely in Sasuke's room and they knew Hidan wouldn't be able to hear them, Kiba started up.
"Ok Shika, where did you find this guy and what the hell is wrong with him?"
"I wish I knew what was wrong with him..."
"But where did he come from?" Both of them looked worried.
"He kind of followed me home." As expected this was met with outrage.
"Followed you home?! He's not a dog! That is a human being who from the look of things is an absolute psychopath!"
"For once I'd say Kiba makes a good point."
"I know it's crazy. I felt bad for the guy though. He was on our doorstep in the rain so I let him stay one night, then when I tried to throw him out this morning he begged me not to 'throw him away'."
"Throw him away? That's a pretty odd thing to say."
"I know, and that's why I was so worried about the guy."
"I bet he's escaped from a mental hospital. He probably killed a man... with a spoon." Both Sasuke and Shikamaru gave him the 'Kiba's-being-a-moron' look. "Ok I kid, but seriously you should probably get rid of the guy." Their conversation was interrupted by the arrival of Naruto and Gaara who stormed into the room.
"Hey Shika!" Naruto gave him one of his wide grins before going to greet his boyfriend.
"Why is there a crazy looking guy sitting in our living room?"
"You've met Shika's new psychotic pet then?"
"I didn't know you were into that kind of thing..."
"You're wrong idiot." Sasuke tapped his foolish plaything on the head. "He followed Shikamaru home so Shika felt bad and let him stay the night."
"And he basically screeched in my face in our last lecture."
"That's pretty weird. Surely that kind of thing is too troublesome for you?"
"...That's the only thing you find weird?" Sometimes it was hard not to worry about Naruto.
"Have you tried talking to the guy?"
"I asked him a few things but he didn't say anything useful."
"Well you're going to have to be tougher with him."
"I suppose."
"Do you want any help?" Gaara was a good friend despite his angry looks.
"It might be better if I do it myself. And I really am sorry about what happened Kiba..."
"It's ok man; it's not your fault the guy's nuts."
"Stay in our lounge while you're talking though. If he gives you any trouble we'll come down." Shikamaru nodded and left all the others in the safety of the bedroom while he went to confront the possible madman... What could possibly go wrong?
-Page Break-
Hidan was feeling miserable. Despite his best efforts to hold back any rage, he'd ended up losing his temper and exploding at that guy. Shikamaru seemed upset and a fear of his was that he'd be forced back to the streets just like with-.
No. No thinking about him. Only bad things came from thinking about him. But if he could get this boy to want him and to let him stay then everything would be ok again. It wasn't long before Shikamaru came back.
"We need to talk." That didn't sound good. He looked annoyed too. Hidan just nodded and hoped this wouldn't be too bad.
"I know you want to stay with me and that's fine, but you're going to have to tell me a little more. If you've done something wrong I can't have you stay here." This caused him to start panicking. He hadn't done anything wrong but no one usually believed him.
"You don't have to say much. Just tell me one thing; have you done anything illegal?"
"No." This wasn't exactly a lie. He'd never done anything he hadn't been told to do.
"Ok. And where did you live before?" This was what he'd been dreading. It was the thing that he never wanted to talk about. But if it caused this man to trust him he would do it.
"...With K-Kakuzu..." Saying that name made him feel a bit sick.
"Kakuzu?" Shikamaru had never heard of anyone with that name. "Was he a relative? A friend?"
"No..." This guy wouldn't understand. No one did. Especially that bitch... he didn't want to think about her though.
"...Your boyfriend?" An abusive ex lover would explain why he was so reluctant to talk about it. But at the same time this guy didn't seem the type to accept being beaten, and he had no injuries of any kind. It could've happened though.
"No..."
"Who was he then?" He was running out of ideas.
"He was my-" Hidan was interrupted when Naruto came stumbling in like the fool that he was.
"Hey guys! I'm making pizza, want any?"
"No thanks Naruto. I think we'll be leaving actually."
This idiot had no sense of timing. He'd been so close! And from the look of him, Hidan wouldn't be trying to say anything else anytime soon.
After saying his goodbyes and reassuring everyone that things were ok, they began walking home. There was an awkward silence.
"Hidan? I'm not going to make you talk about it if you don't want to, but I have to ask why don't you talk?"
"...Kakuzu said my voice was annoying..."
"Oh... I'm sorry." This Kakuzu person had clearly been someone intimidating if the guy completely avoided talking even when he wasn't around. "If I'm honest it's pretty difficult to talk to a guy who barely says anything so would you mind talking a bit more?" Hidan gave him a wide grin at this.
"Ok~."
-Page Break-
It had been done now and it could never be undone. Never had he regretted something so much in his whole life as he'd regretted this. However he had learnt something pretty major today. Once Hidan started talking he would never stop.
"What the fuck is that?" Oh yes. The swearing. How could he forget the continuous swearing?
"It's a bike."
"I've never seen one of those! It's so fucking weird looking. Wouldn't it crush your-"
"Come on, we have to get home." The boy barely knew anything and was curious about everything he saw. It was like he'd lived in a box all his life.
"Ok." At least he seemed a lot happier. Even if he seemed incapable of filtering anything he said now he'd started talking more.
Choji was busy cooking when they got back, whilst Ino was relaxing on the sofa with her friends Sakura and Hinata.
"I'm making dinner for all the girls so I've stuck something in for you guys too."
"Thanks Choji I owe you one." Choji was most definitely his favourite person right now. Although he was still giving Hidan uncertain looks. It was clear he didn't trust him yet.
"What you want fat fuck?" Oh my god. He didn't. Choji's face had turned bright red and he could see his fists clenching.
"What did you just say?" If there was one thing that would rile the normally quite docile Choji it was the F word. Shikamaru started frantically gesturing at Hidan in the hope that he'd soon shut up. Obvious gestures seemed to be a little beyond him.
"I said." The boy cleared his throat to add emphasis. "What. You. Looking. At. You. Fat. Fucker?" With each word he leant in a little closer until he was right in Choji's face. It wasn't going to end well.
Hidan soon learned the error of his ways when Choji's fist slammed into his face at high speeds, knocking him to the ground.
"What the fuck?! That hurt asshole!" He even had the gall to complain.
"I'm so sorry Choji, I'll get him out of here." And before he was able to make the situation worse, Shikamaru grabbed his arm and dragged him up the stairs.
"Why did you do that? Are you an idiot?!" This was giving him such a massive headache. Why were people so troublesome and annoying?
"He doesn't like me." Hidan sounded hurt and irritated at this.
"Well shouting in his face is definitely not going to help."
"They keep giving me that fucking look though! The one that makes me feel like a complete pile of shit." Well that's just wonderful. Despite wanting to rip his head off, he also felt bad for the idiot.
"You just need to learn to control your temper. Ignore what other people are saying. And why do you have to swear so much?"
"Fucked if I know. Just do."
"Could you tone it down a little?"
"I don't know! It's too fucking hard!" He was practically whining at this point. Shikamaru could almost see why this Kakuzu person told him to shut up.
"Just try. And if you want to say something can you just think it through first? If it doesn't need to be said and it'll piss someone off don't say it."
"How the fuck am I supposed to know?"
"If you're not sure, don't say it." Shikamaru wanted to just go to bed and leave this to someone else. "Now, you go get some food, I'm gonna go to sleep for a while." He then lay on the bed and attempted to go to sleep. Hidan pulled off most of his clothes and lay down next to him. "What are you doing?!"
"You said you wanted to sleep." The fact that he looked so unbothered was adding to the weirdness.
"Only for a little while. You don't have to stay."
"Hn." Hidan then put his arm around him and huddled up to the wonderful warmth.
"Hey! Stop that!"
"Nn."
Oh good god, why me?