A/N: Saw the spoilers. Might not be as heartbroken as some, but still think they're missing the boat (the S.S. Karmy) so, I'm gonna keep going even though this might be close to the show, it's still different so… This one is from Karma's POV.

You're angry.

That's nothing new, though. Sometimes, you don't even remember the last time you weren't at least a little angry. When there wasn't the thinnest, tiniest layer of anger under even your brightest smiles. You know, for a fact, that every 'it's all good' you said last summer was laced with a shot of except.

'It's all good except…'

You could finish the thought. But it would be a long fucking thought.

Sometimes, it feels like angry is the new you, your new default, your new thing, underlying all the other things, always lurking beneath everything you are or might be or could be. If you had a hashtag, it wouldn't be #poorKarma (though, let's be honest, there's been plenty of reason for poor lately.) No, you'd be #angryKarma and you wish they'd had that as one of those stupid buttons at school for you to label yourself with. 'Pan spiritual' and 'LGBTQIA ally' (which was silly cause 'A', already) and 'Angry.'

(and then, after you saw Sabrina with her 'Questioning' button you could have turned 'A' into 'answer', as in the answer to her question)

(which would have been 'you are not, you lying bitch.')

(obviously)

(obviously… unless you're… you know… Amy)

(Fuck)

And there it is again, that anger. So fucking much of it that you don't know where to put it all and you don't know what to do with it and why the hell did Felix have to hold you back cause if he'd let you go, you're pretty sure (positive) you would've known something to do with it.

Something right upside Sabrina's manipulative little head.

But he did hold you back and you didn't do anything to her (not that you've stopped imagining it for one single second since) and so now all that anger is just sitting there. It's festering and it's bubbling and it's coming to a boil just beneath your skin and yeah, you've been carrying it for a while.

But it's never been this heavy.

It's exhausting, it really is. You don't think you've ever been this tired, and every time you think you've hit the end, every time you think you can't get any angrier, there's another layer. There's another something that comes along and beats all the rest, even when you think that's just not possible.

Nothing could top Liam and Amy. And then nothing could top losing your home and everyone moving on but you. But then nothing could top your best friend abandoning you for a summer and not even planning to tell you.

And then came Haunted Hester. And then came game night. And then…

And then and then and then and fucking then.

Now, sitting here with him (instead of him sitting with her) (like it should be)

(that was the plan)

you're sure - again - that there's nothing more. There's nowhere else this (you) can go. There's nothing more than can make this any worse.

You're wrong.

As usual.

"I knew she… but I didn't know… I never thought they'd…"

Felix's voice snaps you out of it (sort of) (not really) (he's talking about it, after all) and you remember that he's still there, sitting on the edge of your bed and that's a sign, isn't it? That he's sitting right next to you, close enough to touch, and you forgot he was there.

You're sure that says something about him (not anything good, you know) but it says more about you, more about where your head is. And that's not anything good either.

He's confused and lost and so obviously hurting. Seeing Amy make out with some random girl at the Halloween party was one thing. Seeing her with Sabrina was something else. Catwoman was a costume, a rando, a… what was it Amy called it?

A reboot.

That was all she was, but that's clearly (so fucking clearly and you don't know why the rest of them can't fucking see it) not all Sabrina is.

(she's a fake) (she's a liar) (she's trying to take what's yours)

(or… his… you meant his)

Sabrina's more than a reboot. She's a rewind. She's a trip back to twelve and back to a time when no one had faked it and no one had kissed (and no one had fucked anyone's boyfriend or fled fucking town on the Queer Express.)

"I didn't know they were so… close," Felix mumbles and you have the urge (it's fleeting) (but it's there) to slap him because how the hell did he not?

It's obvious they're close. It's obvious they have a connection. It's so fucking obvious that Amy cares (because old friends) (and feelings that don't need policing and crush boots) and it's so very very obvious that - if Sabrina was real (but she's not) - she's someone who wouldn't be so temporary (like Reagan) and not so caught up in her own shit (Reagan, again) and really not likely to be all judgey about Amy sleeping with guys (guy) (just one) (the worst one, yeah, but still just the one.) She's someone who can be Amy's friend first and give her something more second, give her the one thing you can't.

Oh.

Wait.

You were talking about him.

"I feel so stupid," he says.

Yeah. He's still here.

And you were talking (thinking) about him, because of course you were. It's like the anger, it's part of how you roll. You're always talking (thinking) about someone else. And clearly, Felix is hurting (like you), clearly Felix is sad (like you) and confused (not like you)

(what is there for you to be confused about?)

and clearly Felix is… not the fucking issue here.

(That's clear as a fucking bell. Just because you won't look or see or admit… that doesn't make it even the tiniest bit less clear.)

"I should have seen it coming," he says. "I thought she was just… I don't know… putting on a brave face when I 'released' her." He makes the air quotes around the word and you have to wonder how well he really knows Amy because 'releasing' her?

You're amazed she didn't release her foot into his nuts.

He's clearly (and you need to stop using that fucking word) lost and has no idea what to make of any of this. Despite enough drama of his own for like three lifetimes, you don't think Felix has ever had to deal with teenage romance or girls or a triangle, especially not being the wrong point of one. He doesn't understand what you were trying to do for him, he doesn't get why waiting around wouldn't have worked, he doesn't know how to process watching Sabrina and Amy…

You can't even say the word.

(kiss) (make out) (suck face) (tongue wrestle) (foreplay) (play tonsil hockey)

(you can't say it) (you can clearly think it)

(you can't really think of anything else)

"I knew she liked her," he says. "Anyone with eyes could see that," he adds and you can't help wondering if he's always been Captain Obvious or is this a new thing. "And I guess I'm not that surprised at how impulsive she is," he says. "She seems the type."

Amy? Impulsive? Pshhh. Wherever would he get that idea?

"And I can't really blame her," he says and you resist (just barely) the urge to say 'duh' because, let's face it, she's not the one to blame here. "I mean, really, I'm sure you and I both get it," he says. "Who wouldn't like Amy?"

Right.

Wait.

What?

"What what?" Felix asks cause - apparently - you said that last bit out loud, but you're too busy going over it in your head to answer right away. Because the 'she' - his 'she' - Sabrina… he saw that she liked… and she was impulsive… and it makes sense that she…

Wait. (Again.)

Before that.

"You and I both?" You turn on the bed, pulling one knee up between you, putting just a bit of distance (keeping him just out of smacking range) (unless you stretch) (and you might). "It's not... we're not… of course I understand why that fuc… why Sabrina… would want to be Amy's friend." (You wonder, for just a moment, if she uses her tongue like that for all her friends.) "Amy is very… friendly. But I'm not… I mean, you are… that's why I was helping you … because I don't…"

There's look on his face that you've never seen, one you didn't think Felix - the king of bland, the crown prince of meh - could ever have. It says something, something he'd never have the balls to actually say. Something like a cross between 'OK, Karma, whatever you say, Karma' and 'yeah, she looked friendly' and 'that's what she said' and he's so lucky you moved out of smacking range.

"I don't know why you would think… that," you say, waving your hand in the air dismissively (or like you're having a seizure-ly.) "Amy and I are friends, no matter what you might think."

No matter what he might think. Or Vashti might ask. Or Liam might worry about. Or Amy might hope (though, you guess, that's not an issue anymore.) Or what your parents and her mother and Shane and the whole fucking school so readily believed.

"We're not… I'm not…" And there's that anger, again, that frustration and annoyance and aggravation and having to explain this over and over and over and over again. "I"m straight."

Of course you are. Of course. And that's all there is to it and that's all you're going to talk about it tonight (or any other night) (or day) (or mid-afternoon or early evening or Goddamn winter solstice or end of fucking time.)

"I'm going to bed," you say. "And so are you." You point at the other side of the bed. "It'll all look better in the morning."

(What's one more lie, right?)

Felix eyes the bed and then you and then the bed again and you can see the virginal gears working on overdrive in his head. "I really don't think that's a good -"

"You're staying," you say, channeling - as best you can - Lauren and that tone she's got, the one that shuts everyone down (even Shane), but even to you it sounds more like a plea than an order.

Lucky for you, Felix treats pleas as if they are orders. "I'll stay," he says, "but I should sleep on the cou -"

"Bed," you say.

You point again, singling out his side (your usual side) (the one you'd sleep on if she - your she - was here) (because you're going to sleep on her side and no, you're not going to think about that or what it might mean or any other hidden subconscious 'maybe it's time to start looking at those feelings' feelings cause you've had just about enough of that for one night.)

"You'll sleep there," you say, still pointing. "I'll sleep here. We're not going to do anything," you say and a part of you (such a small part) regrets the tone, the way it sounds like doing anything with him is the farthest thing from your mind, something that repulses you and there couldn't possibly be anything more opposite of what you want.

You don't mean it that way.

(the fuck you don't)

But you really can't imagine any circumstances under which you would ever even consider sleeping with Felix. That would be like Shane sleeping with Lauren or Farrah sleeping with someone adult and responsible or Amy sleeping with Liam.

Oh.

Oh.

You grab the pillow from your bed (from his side) and shove it into his arms and push him through the door and down the hall. "Couch," you say. "You're right," you say. "Much better idea," you say before turning on your heel and darting back down the hall and behind the safety of your (closed) (and locked) bedroom door.

You sleep on her side and you don't try and not think of it as her side and thinking of it like that is the only thing that even half helps you get to sleep, the only thing that you can cling to and hold fast to and remind yourself that yes, they kissed and yes, they might be crushing (no) (not they) (her) (the not a liar one) but no, they will never have a bond like this and she (the lying one) will never have a side of the bed and you don't know how, exactly, but you do know that you will make absofuckinglutely sure of that.

No one hurts Amy.

And even if you have to break Amy's heart to do it, you'll make sure Sabrina never gets the chance.

All you need is a plan...