Thessia

Liara inhaled sharply. The sound broke Shepard's bemused scrutiny of the newly arrived asari as Telienos introduced Shiala to Hannah. Startled, she glanced at her bondmate's shuttered face. It offered no clue to what she was thinking. Nothing was leaking through their link either but something was obviously bothering her.

"I'm sorry but how are you involved?" Hannah's polite query brought her gaze back to Shiala.

"All in good time, Admiral," Telienos said smoothly before Shiala could answer. "Shall we continue?" she said, gesturing for everyone to take their seats.

Shepard eyed Shiala warily as she tried to fathom the odd pull she was feeling from her as she sat down. Hannah's gaze was puzzled and suspicious as Shiala sat at the other end of her couch.

"You were saying about the colonists at Zhu's Hope, Shepard?" Telienos prodded in the awkward silence that followed.

"Only that very few of them put up much resistance to the Thorian's demands but from those who did attempt to warn us, we knew there was something else other than the geth attacks that was ailing the colony." Shepard concentrated in pulling up those memories. "From one of the ExoGeni researchers we rescued at the facility, we were made cognizant of the problem. After removing most of the geth presence, we went to look for the creature."

"It was under the colony?" Hannah frowned when Shepard nodded.

"From company records we pulled, the colony site was chosen for the relatively intact prothean aqueducts and ruins. ExoGeni's objective was to find prothean artifacts so most of the colonists who signed up had specific related skills. Total deployment was a few hundred civilians. Most of whom fell to the unexpected geth attacks. By the time we arrived, there was less than a hundred left."

"All of them were thralls?" Hannah interjected again.

"With the exception of the company researchers, the administrative staff and security detail. When ExoGeni realised the first exploration team to the lower levels was infected by spores, they were able to discover the source. They decided to use the colony as a control group to study the creature and deliberately exposed them to the spores. The rogue spectre Saren Arterius was a major shareholder in ExoGeni. He was the prime mover in many of their projects."

Shepard's eyes flicked to Shiala, meeting her gaze before dragging them away to Telienos when she spoke. "What was the reason behind his motivation?"

"When Sovereign discovered the Keepers were not responding to the signal it sent to activate the Citadel, it knew the Protheans had to be the ones who tempered with the Keepers."

"What do the Keepers have to do with the Reapers?" Hannah asked in astonishment.

"The Keepers were created as custodians of the Citadel. They were programmed to respond to the Reaper signal when they were ready to return from dark space in which they hibernated between cycles. Sovereign stayed behind to keep an eye on galactic developments. When the time was right, it would call in the rest of the reapers. A few prothean scientists who survived the previous war returned to the Citadel when they discovered how the Reapers initiated their invasion. They made changes so that the Keepers would not respond to any reaper signal."

Hannah leaned forward with great interest for she did not hear nor read any reports pertaining to the Keepers' role in the war. It was on a need-to-know basis, she suspected. "So Sovereign had to find another way to operate the Citadel."

Shepard nodded. "It was alone so it could not march right up to the Citadel."

"The oblique approach then," Hannah said, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. "Spies, agents of which Saren was one."

"That is correct. Since it was not an organic, Sovereign could not access prothean beacons or any of the messages left behind in other artifacts but Saren could. Neither of them were able to decipher the meaning behind the Conduit. Using ExoGeni as a front, attempts were made to source for clues from Prothean artifacts and to build up the forces they needed to take the Citadel. When the Thorian was discovered, it was found to be older than any living creature in the current cycle. Saren suspected it was sentient because of the behaviour of the colonists and that it had information about the protheans."

"The feedback from the infected colonists pointed strongly to an intelligence," said Shiala. "He brought me along to further bolster communications."

"What?" Hannah was sure she had misheard. "You were working with Saren?" She stared at Shiala.

"I was once a student of matriarch Benezia T'Soni..."

"T'Soni...T'Soni," Hannah interrupted, muttering bemusedly. The name was familiar. Realisation struck. She turned to Liara.

"My mother, yes," Liara said impassively to the querying gaze. "She was a renown teacher of religion and philosophy. Many flocked to her to learn from her."

"She was a notable luminary who wished to create a beneficial dominion for everyone to grow in," Shiala said quickly. "Saren had a brutal reputation though held in esteem by the Council. He achieved results through calculating ruthlessness. It troubled Benezia. When rumours about his conduct became more pernicious, she felt he was veering on a destructive course that would culminate in disaster, she sought him out to try to turn him to a more gentle path. Unwisely as it turned out but then, who knew that the ship we entered was a reaper?"

"You...stepped into a reaper?" Hannah was horrified.

"The ship was unlike any we had ever seen. We had no reason to suspect it was not what it seemed despite the ominous presence we sensed." Shiala shivered as she recalled that moment. "Benezia was determined to continue on her course. He was courteous when he received us and pretended to be receptive. He persuaded Benezia to remain as a guest so as to 'learn and exchange ideas' with her. Over the next few months, she and those who went with her were gradually indoctrinated. We came to believe in his cause, that we were on a mission to save the galaxy. Benezia became his closest ally, bringing him more resources to use. When the Thorian proposed the exchange, I...I was willing."

"The Thorian wanted more information about the current cycle didn't it?" said Shepard.

"Yes. That was why it asked for me in return for the Cipher."

Telienos injected a question before Hannah could speak. "Did it infect you with spores?"

"Yes. I was put in a neural node because it wished to directly dissect what I am and what I knew at leisure."

A foreign touch of distress filtered into Shepard. It wasn't from Liara, the taste was different. It couldn't be from Telienos. Shiala? How was that possible? She glanced at her bondmate but Liara seemed oblivious. Did she not feel it too?

"Neural node?" Hannah repeated, puzzled.

"The Thorian merged much of itself with the planet, spreading out many sensory tendrils and cocoon-like neural nodes. To make direct contact, I removed my hardsuit and entered one of the nodes. It created a clone of myself that passed on the information to Saren who left soon after. It seemed he would honor the exchange but later, the geth launched an attack on the colony."

"On Saren's orders," said Hannah.

"Yes," said Shepard. "He knew I was following his trail, on the same track for prothean data. Even if I wasn't, he could not risk anyone else finding the Thorian. It would also be in the Reapers' interest to destroy a creature that knew so much. By the time I spoke to the Thorian, it was enraged by Saren's betrayal and refused further dialogue."

"I presumed that was when it attacked," said Telienos.

"Yes," Shiala nodded. "It created clones of of myself with limited forms of biotics and used those in conjunction with other creatures that spewed acid to attack Shepard and her squad. She was able to kill it by destroying all the central nodes. I was freed after its death and the influence of Sovereign."

"How is that possible?" Hannah asked incredulously. "Reaper indoctrination is impossible to break."

"The Thorian's directive superceded Sovereign's."

Shepard thought she knew how. "The creature's prerogatives was survival. Counteractive to Sovereign's objective," she said.

"Yes."

"Why didn't Saren kill it immediately after he had what he wanted?" asked Hannah.

"To negotiate in good faith, he could not appear with a large force," Shiala said patiently. "Moreover, the attack came as soon as he left Feros but it was met with resistance from the human thralls and its creatures. Eventually, it would have succumbed as its resources were limited, having used them in its recent hibernation."

"Meaning if the geth had not attacked, or if it had defeated the geth and I arrived much later, I wouldn't have even gotten into its lair," Shepard said with dawning realisation.

"No," Shiala agreed, a soft light in her eyes. "You and your people would have been lured into a trap and subdued or killed. Your arrival was timely and fortunate."

"Shiala..." Telienos leaned forward, her gaze intense on the younger asari. "What was it like, linked to the Thorian?"

"It...I don't know how to describe it, Vesae." Closing her eyes as she recalled her experience, Shiala tried to explain it. "It's like looking into a deep encompassing ocean of many images, colours and sounds...everything seemed...I...it is difficult to put into words. It was so large that my mind shrank from trying to grasp all of it at once. It was all I could do to retain my sanity and sense of self."

"How then, did you find the information Saren wanted?" asked Telienos.

"I did not," Shiala said simply. "The Thorian gave it to the clone."

"Then it was not what you found but data specifically chosen by the Thorian," said Telienos, wanting to be sure. "What did you do, during your time as a captive of the creature?" she said when Shiala nodded.

"I explored its memories carefully," said Shiala, eyes clouded, "as I feared retaliation but the Thorian was mostly amused by my feeble curiosity because I was a thrall who would cease to exist as an individual eventually. The other was indulgence that I could understand it at all. Nevertheless, it allowed me the freedom to extract as I would so I started with what I've learned from the transfer, the cultural memories of the protheans it absorbed in the previous cycle."

"How much have you acquired by the time Shepard arrived?" asked Telienos.

"Not much, I'm afraid," Shiala said regretfully. "Within the Thorian, I had no sense of time, only a vague awareness of its thoughts and emotions as it dealt with the outside world. There was so much about the protheans. I doubt I would have been able to finish exploring that singular tiny portion of its whole memory by the time I'm absorbed. There were hundreds more to discover when I was freed," she added wistfully.

"Shiala." Telienos caught the younger asari's gaze. "The information given to Saren. Was it the same one as the Cipher you gave to Shepard?"

The question took Shepard completely by surprise. Was it different? Why would Telienos suspect it would be different? Beside her, Liara tensed as Shiala remained silent.

"No."

"What?!" Shepard spluttered, dimly hearing Hannah echoing the same disbelief. She turned red then paled. "What do you mean it's different?!" She rocketed up from the couch as Telienos got to her feet to intervene, if necessary.

"Different as in I gave you a lot more than what was given to Saren," said Shiala. "The Thorian gave Saren the singular memory of a prothean. What I gave to you contained more than that."

"Did you know ...," began Shepard hotly.

"I know," Shiala cut in sharply. "The memory capsule I found..."

"Why did you have to give that to her?!" Hannah interrupted. "Did you know it..."

But Shepard had had enough of Hannah's constant queries. "Admiral, stay out of this." She ignored Hannah's affronted glare. "Why?"

Shiala stood up.

"You were going after Saren, you wanted the same thing he was after; the ability to decipher the beacon messages." She met Shepard's angry stare without flinching. "I touched the memory capsule and understood what it represented. A storage of intact memories that spanned more than 150 prothean cycles. It was many times more than what the Thorian gave Saren. I extracted it as I wanted to to study it closely in the time I had left. I wanted to help so I gave it to you and everything I knew. Because, it was not just Saren you needed to stop, you had to stop Sovereign as well. A reaper no one had ever encountered or fought before in this current cycle. From what I touched briefly of the capsule, I knew the protheans anticipated this enemy. There was a chance those memories could help."

"Why did you not clearly explain what you did then?" asked Liara.

"Although I was freed and achieved free will, I was still entangled within the effects of the Thorian's mind," Shiala said without taking her eyes off Shepard. "Combined that with the mind meld, I was not that clear headed. You were affected too, as I remembered. Neither of us were in any shape to think of much except for the immediate crisis before us. You asked what you needed to know. I answered as best I could for it was clear you wished to continue your pursuit of Saren, fearing he would accomplish whatever it was he intended." Stepping closer, she looked searchingly at Shepard. "Tell me, was I wrong?"

It hovered on Shepard's tongue to say she was but could not. Not when the Cipher had aided her numerous times. On Eden Prime, allowing her to understand the prothean vids and acquired the key combination to unlock Javik's cryo pod. Nor would she have found the mainframe on Ilos without it. Conflicting emotions warred. She didn't know what to say. Her anger ebbed away beneath that clear gaze.

"Did you know the risks involved in giving that to Shepard?" asked Telienos, watching Shepard and Shiala intently.

"Even befuddled as I was, I knew." Unspoken apology glinted in Shiala's eyes. "I also knew if Saren succeeded, all was lost."

"What risks?" Hannah demanded. "No, I want to know," she insisted when Shepard muttered.

Telienos touched Shepard lightly, indicating she should sit down and gestured to Shiala. She waited until they had settled into their respective couches.

"Most asari are born with abilities. Mind melding and biotics," she said. "Even before we learned to communicate in ages past, we were already using these talents. Untamed. Unchecked. Thereafter, as we developed further, many things changed. Through many trials and tremulous events in our history, it transpired that the asari must established disciplines to better control these abilities. The most important aspect of all," she glanced at Shiala, "is to protect one's consciousness from intrusion. The idea of a barrier, mental defense, was developed. This is one training we give to our young, that they would be able to protect themselves. The humans-," she turned to Shepard, "have no such training because they have no need to. They don't have any mind melding capability."

"You're saying we can't defend ourselves from mind intrusions?" Hannah asked worriedly.

"You have natural defenses but you have no conscious control. It's instinctual, tied in to a person's will. That is a fragile shield to wield," said Telienos. "From what you have told us-," she looked at Shiala, "you were in direct contact with the Thorian, right up until you were freed. Unlike the other colonists who were controlled by its spores."

"Yes," Shiala nodded.

"Do you see the difference?" Telienos turned to Hannah who frowned.

"You're saying her training saved her," she said.

"She would have been subsumed or lost her sanity within the Thorian's mind," Telienos pointed out. "But she didn't and was able to retrieve an important artifact." She clasped her hands before her. "An artifact that she then gave to someone who is not trained or has any experience to handle it. Such cases had happened before among our people. Some of it did not turn out well."

"What do you mean?" Hannah asked edgingly.

"It was fatal for some. For the others, their minds were forever lost."

"You took such a risk? You gambled with her life?" Hannah was incredulous as she stared at Shiala. "Who gave you the right to do that?"

Pot calling kettle black! "Don't be ridiculous, admiral," Shepard said tiredly. "You, of all people, should know how the cards are played in extreme contingencies."

"Not when it comes to you-," Hannah said heatedly.

"I can't believe-," began Shepard.

"Please."

Shepard didn't know how Telienos did it but the air seemed to calm with that single word. "Clarity is of utmost import." After a beat, the matriarch continued. "Shepard, does the artifact actively seek contact with you?"

"No. It seems to work passively, giving me information whenever I asked a question."

"You initiate contact every time."

"Yes."

"How did you feel after the transfer of the Cipher?"

"Having my mind jammed with strange stuff didn't leave me feeling any good," Shepard shrugged nonchalantly, "but it was not as bad as the first encounter with the prothean beacon. I still could not make any sense out of the images so Liara offered to help. She tried but it was too confusing. There were bits and pieces missing. It was only on Virmire that we found the second beacon. I used it and it was only then that we were able to determine what the images were conveying."

"Shepard-," Telienos's tone softened. "You didn't answer my question."

Avoiding the matriarch's gaze, Shepard rubbed her brow. "I felt dizzy...had dreams when I slept."

"Nightmares?"

Shepard shook her head. "When I initially received the message from the first beacon, I had nightmares. They were the same. Almost every night." She rubbed her eyes as flashes of those nights returned. "After Feros, I still had dreams, but oddly muted. As if, I was far away, as an observer."

"And after Virmire?"

"The same. After the Battle of the Citadel, they seemed to disappear."

"Seemed to?"

"They would appear now and then in the next several months. Then-," Shepard hesitated. "Then I was...the Normandy was attacked by the Collectors. Most of the crew survived..."

"But you did not."

"What?!" Hannah was stunned. Beside her, Shiala paled. "That's not possible. You said..."

"Cerberus retrieved my body, with Liara's help. Liara was the only one who did not give up on me," Shepard said heavily. "She had to hand my body over to them because they said they could revive me. I don't know how. By rights, I was dead."

She reached out for Liara's hand and was comforted by the presence that flowed into her. "According to a few records we found on Cronos Station, I was not totally brain dead by the time Cerberus transported my body to their labs. That was impossible, given the circumstances in which I died. We can only speculate, from a visit to the prothean archives on Ilos, that the Cipher sustained my cerebrum."

"Why...why did you never...," Hannah began to say.

"It's not important." Shepard waved dismissively.

"The time of your revival," Telienos said hurriedly before a stunned Hannah could lash out, "which I understand, took two years. From the point of your retrieval, to the end of the reaper war until recently, did the nightmares recur?"

"Yes," Shepard said reluctantly.

"Stronger? More regularly?" Telienos paused for a moment when Shepard nodded. "Besides the requisite medical and psych examinations in the Alliance, you did not actively seek any psychological consultations."

"None except for a few visits to a counselor here."

Shepard watched warily as Telienos returned to her armchair. Surely bad dreams couldn't be the cause of her coma? Her head seemed to buzz. She gave herself a quick shake to throw it off.

"Perhaps, to you, there seem to be no analogy between the Cipher and the nightmares," said Telienos. "The artifact is quiescent and does not interact with you until you need it. The nightmares continued when you were revived. What happened to you recently, both are interlinked."

Shepard's heart seemed to still. "What do you mean?"

"There are several factors that intensified over the years that led to the crisis you faced weeks ago. One of the problems is your inability to defend your central self. That handicap was partially handled by an expedient provided by two persons. Shiala and Liara."

Blinking in bemusement, Shepard shook her head. "I don't understand."

"It is our custom and discipline to protect the other person with whom we meld with by providing a temporary cover or buffer. It is usually removed once the meld is over. However, both of them recognised the problems you would be facing despite your strength of will and provided such a shield. In your case, it's a more permanent measure."

Shepard's gaze whipped to Liara before darting to Shiala. Why hadn't they said anything to her? To her surprise, neither of them met her eyes. Both chose to examine some obscure point in the room.

"But-," Telienos said, drawing Shepard's attention back to her, "even then, the barrier they provided could not withstand the psychological pressures that was building up within. It was unraveling slowly until it finally broke down on Ilos. The Cipher has been with you for eight years. It has settled. Though it is not a personality, it recognises you as its true bearer. It responded to your need when you dealt with the crisis on Ilos. The stress you received in the war undermined your perception, the barrier Liara and Shiala provided were already withered. Since you're not mind trained, you could not mark the path you took when the Cipher opened its borders. You were lost within the memories of the Cipher. Intermixed with the stored memories were the nightmares that followed you for the last eight years."

Questions floated to the fore but Shepard suddenly found she could not move lips that suddenly felt stiff. A pair of hands came to cover her own cold hands.

"Your case presented quite a quagmire. There were but a few options. The more drastic suggestion was to try to cut you out, akin to surgery."

"What would happen if that was done?" asked Shiala.

"If it failed, it could leave Shepard mentally handicapped." A glint of sadness flickered into Telienos's eyes before vanishing. "We decided to go the normal course and that was to meld with you. Liara wanted to do it but her pregnancy ruled her out. We cannot risk the infant."

Relief washed over Shepard when she heard that. Then she stiffened. Who then had melded with her? Not Hannah?

Reading the question in her eyes, Telienos nodded. "Admiral Shepard also objected to Liara's attempt on the grounds that you may not believe her, despite her being your bondmate, due to your fear of indoctrination. That the Reapers would use the one person you trust the most to do their will." She sighed when Shepard went white. "Your mother volunteered to try but she had no training or ability to meld."

"Then it was you," Shepard said with some relief.

Telienos leaned forward. "How do you feel now?"

"I feel fine."

"No dreams since you woke up."

"None."

"That is because I am temporarily blocking that part of your mind," Telienos said softly. "I created it the moment you withdrew from the Cipher."

"Then-," Shepard hesitated, struggling to put jumbling thoughts together.

"It is not meant to sustain you forever," Telienos said bluntly. "Dreams are important. Shepard, you have a myriad of problems and questions that must be resolved before we can go about finding a permanent solution. Otherwise, this incident will happen again."

Shepard seized on that eagerly. "There is a solution?"

"Yes, there is." Telienos sat back with a sigh. "I would like to discuss it privately with you."

"Of course." Shepard nodded.

"This session is ended. I hope that we have all come to a common point of perception concerning the Cipher and the cause of Shepard's coma." Telienos waited but Hannah said nothing though her face was dark. "There is still much to discuss on this matter. I will see you again. Only you two days from now. Until then, you should take the time to reflect, perceive the maze that you have to negotiate," she said meaningfully before showing them out of the office.

The sun was setting, Shepard saw when they reached the carpark. Droves of off duty personnel and office workers flooded the concourse, moving in unison to return home and other appointments. The sky was thick with skycars.

"Are you staying-?" Shepard turned to Shiala, thinking of sending her to her hotel or perhaps to her family home.

"She is staying with us," said Liara, moving carefully into the back seat as Hannah rounded the back of the skycar silently and slide in beside her at the other side.

"Oh."

Shepard glanced at Liara in surprise before dropping into the driver's seat. She started the skycar and smoothly inserted it into the mainstream traffic, resolutely focusing on driving though she was acutely aware of Shiala seated next to her. She drove carefully, keeping to a moderate speed. There was no way she was going to speed around like a demon with Liara onboard. The approval on Effia's face when they arrived sedately at the T'Soni estate more than made up for the silent brooding atmosphere in the vehicle.

Dinner was ready but no one had any desire to sit down at the communal table, it seemed. Murmuring excuses, Shiala disappeared to the guest room. Hannah simply marched off without a look in anyone's direction. Shepard didn't much care she was upset or extremely upset. Her main concern was Liara who looked somewhat pinched. She shepherded her bondmate into their bedroom, wetting a towel to cool her bondmate's face as she rest on the bed.

"You alright? You didn't say much." She did another swipe over Liara's brow.

"I am fine." Liara touched Shepard's face gently. "You have to speak to Shiala."

"Uh...sure. I suppose I have to thank her for shielding me," Shepard said uncomfortably, rising to return the towel to the bathroom but was stopped by a hand on her arm. "And there is you."

"Not only that. More than that. Do not put it off."

"Don't I have to buy her a gift or something? To show my gratitude?" Shepard said jokingly and blinked when Liara shook her head gravely.

"Did you not hear what Telienos said?"

"What?"

A frown creased Shepard's brow. Why was Liara so insistent? The chime on the door brought Effia and a tray with two large bowls into the room.

"Here, put something inside you, you'll feel better," said Shepard, arranging the tray carefully between them as the housekeeper left. "Look, it's your favourite stew." She handed Liara a spoon and picked up the other on the tray.

"Shepard, do it tonight."

"What.." Shepard put down the spoon, confused by the insistence. "What's so important?"

"Because you must speak to her."

"Oh for crying out loud...fine." Shepard wished Liara hadn't chosen to be so cryptic. If she had wanted to say what she meant, she would have. Her barrier was up so she had no idea what her bondmate's agitation was about. "I promise I'll talk to her, after dinner. Now will you please start eating?"

Disturbed, she watched as Liara ate, sensing that she was forcing herself to. As she was herself. Liara's peculiar insistence had chased off her appetite. The stew was good but she barely tasted it as she polished it off automatically. She removed the tray once Liara was done. Another quick swipe with the towel. She sat quietly beside Liara as she lay on the bed. Watching her as her bondmate closed her eyes, hands resting over her belly. Gently, she smoothed her hand over the belly. It would be another few more months more before the awakening. When they would rouse the child within. She wondered if she would be allowed to participate when Telienos had clearly indicated her marbles were not all settled.

Realising that Liara had fallen asleep from the sound of her soft breathing, Shepard debated joining her and then sighed. A promise was a promise. She went downstairs to an empty hall. Hannah was likely locked up in her room. Effia would have brought her her dinner. At least she wouldn't be running into her. A relief since she didn't fancy more exchanges with her mother.

Biting her lower lip, Shepard turned in the direction of the guest rooms. As she neared Shiala's room, she stopped. For some reason, she knew Shiala wasn't in her room. She turned instead down a corridor and opened the door to the hothouse. The lush warm smell of flora hit her in the face. She moved slowly down the central aisle, ducking long reaching fingers of leaves and twines.

She spied the figure alongside a row of preita flowers. "Shiala." She didn't know why she was so certain it was Shiala but the asari turned, proving she was right.

"Shepard." Shiala didn't seem surprise to see her.

"Uh..." Shepard ran a hand through her hair, wondering why she was suddenly dumbstruck. "I..uh...nice flowers, aren't they?" she said lamely, wanting to kick herself. Whatever was wrong with her? Her tongue seemed tied up in knots.

"Yes, they are," Shiala said without looking at said item. "Liara sent you."

"Um...yes but uh, I also want to see you...to thank you. For what you did."

A sad smile tilted Shiala's lips. "Did you?"

"What?"

"Do you know what I did?"

Shepard wondered if the heat of the hothouse was getting to her or was it the intense gaze Shiala was fixing on her. On Illium, the vibes she got from Shiala was confusion and despair intermixed with restraint gratitude and a mite of invitation. Now, she felt a strange sense of deja vu at the beating whirl of desire. Where. Where had she experienced it before?

Liara. On the Normandy. With Liara. You remember. The interlude before Virmire.

No. What..you...

Shocked, Shepard stumbled backwards as Shiala approached.

This is crazy. It can't be!