A/N: So we wrote this during the livestream, and was inspired by the fact that we finally found some mustard in the cupboard, but it was off. We only found this out just after we dunked our Milky Ways into it and ate it. I thought it tasted funky :D

Rating: T

"Kurt…I just ate a teaspoon of off-mustard." Blaine stuck out his tongue as he tried to get rid of the foul taste. "Am I going to die?"

Kurt chuckled. "It depends. How long has it been since the mustard went off?"

Blaine stared at the label, squinting and trying to read the faded print. That enough should have alerted him, but his tired brain wasn't responding. After a few minutes he finally spoke.

"A year, four months and fourteen days."

"An estimation would have sufficed." Kurt laughed. "Just don't eat any more and you should be fine."

"But mustard is so good!" Blaine complained. "Even if it did taste a little weird."

Kurt took it off him and placed the bowl on the counter. "Why do you even like mustard anyway? It's gross."

Blaine shook his head. "It's amazing."

"Sure it is. It's only disgusting. I don't know how your tastebuds can handle it."

Blaine feigned offense, looking hurt.

"Umm, why don't you at least try it before you judge it?"

Kurt laughed. "I havetried it."

"Try it again."

"I would if the mustard wasn't off."

Blaine's face fell. "Oh. I forgot.."

Kurt laughed.

"So what are we going to do?" Blaine pulled himself onto the counter. "I'm hungry and there's no mustard."

Kurt held back a laugh this time – Blaine was hilarious when he was tired.

"Do you really need to eat right now? Didn't we just have dinner?"

Blaine pouted, and Kurt laughed, leaning forward and kissing his lower lip. "Fine. You didn't answer my question, by the way. What are we going to do?"

Kurt shrugged. "I dunno. What do you want to do?"

"You're the one that invited me over. Didn't you plan anything?"

Kurt laughed. "Do I need a reason to invite you over? I just wanted company."

"That's sweet. I vote movie then."

Kurt nodded and they settled on the couch, cuddling close together. Blaine fell asleep early, and Kurt stroked his head while he slept.

A few minutes later, he heard a weird little noise coming from his chest.

"Did you…just growl at me…?" Kurt whispered.

There was another sound from Blaine and Kurt frowned, stroking his hair. "Blainnee…are you sleeping?"

He growled again, tucking his face into Kurt's chest. Kurt laughed, turning the sound down but returning to watching the program. Ten minutes later, Blaine shifted.

"Are you awake or…?"

There was no reply, and Kurt sighed, his gaze lifting back to the TV. His hand absently stroked Blaine's hair, it dropping when it started to get sore. Suddenly, Blaine clamped his teeth around Kurt's thumb, biting down hard.

Kurt's eyes shot open and he yanked his thumb away. "Blaine? What the hell?"

The boy snickered, trying to bite Kurt's chest. Kurt jerked away, his eyebrows raising in concern – there was something weird about Blaine.

"What's gotten into you?"

"Mustard." Blaine giggled. "It obviously turned me into some Kurt-wanting beast."

He crawled up Kurt's body, wrapping his arms tightly around him with a content sigh. "Or a cuddle monster."

"So basically what you're saying is that off-mustard has made you insanely horny?"

"Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying."

A/N: Holy crap. 10 chapters until a hundred.