My Pet Peeve
Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.
Make him stop. Please make him stop! Shikamaru could practically hear Hidan shrieking it at him as he looked over. The boy had tried to wrench his arm out of the vice like grip but Lee just thought he was being shy rather than wanting to bash his head in and carried on walking.
"Hey Neji! This is Hidan!" And there he was being propelled forward until Lee let go and he crashed into the floor. It was definitely not his day. Neji looked guilty about his moronic friend and at least tried to scold him.
"Lee you idiot! You don't just throw people on the floor like that!"
"Oops. Sorry about that Hidan!" And now he was dragged up again and having his hand shook wildly. He really wished he had some kind of knife or even a large stick. Anything to beat this crazily happy person off. When his hand was released he backed away to the corner of the room and sat in the furthest chair possible in the hope that Mr Bowl Cut would stay away. "Why are you sitting all the way over there? How can we become friends like this?" Oh shit.
The man started approaching him and he knew that serious measures would have to be taken. Shikamaru saw the explosion was imminent and wisely kept his distance.
"Hidan?"
"Get the fuck away from me before I take my foot and stick it up your fucking ass!" Not as loud as with Kiba but equally as furious.
"That's not a nice thing to say." Lee was either incredibly brave or (more likely) incredibly stupid.
"Are you fucking retarded? Come any closer and I'll rip those stupid eyebrows off your face!"
"You wouldn't do that, we're all fr-." Hidan chose to do a mixture of the two and slammed his foot into Lee's forehead. It was lucky he was a moron with a thick skull or serious damage would've been done. "Why'd you do that?"
"For god's sake Lee, leave the guy alone." Neji pulled him up and started examining his head. "You're definitely going to get a bruise there now."
"Sorry about that..." Shikamaru felt he should at least apologise as he knew the other boy most definitely wouldn't.
"No need, it was this idiot's fault for bothering people." You couldn't argue with that. The only problem was that if Neji and Lee left now, they would never find out what his problem with Hinata was. There was only one thing for it.
"No really I'm sorry. And to make up for it we'll treat you guys to a takeaway and you can have a few beers."
"I'm not sure that's a good idea..." Uh oh. He looks wary.
"Really I insist." Luckily their other friend didn't have such qualms.
"We'd love to stay! It'll be fun!" And if Lee got drunk, their entertainment for the night would be sorted. Hidan was sending obvious 'are you out of your mind?' looks at him but it needed to be done. Otherwise those troublesome women would never shut up and he'd have to deal with them moaning at him all the time.
-Page Break-
It wasn't until after dinner that they started on the beers. Both Lee and Neji had a very low tolerance for alcohol so it wouldn't take long for this to work. Hidan was in a mood with him about making those two stay and had scowled about it all evening. He was worried about what kind of revenge there could be but he knew he'd have to deal with that when it came.
"Hey Shika?" Choji was gesturing slightly towards Neji who was already getting that glazed over look in his eyes. He nodded at his friend. It was time to start up the attack.
"So how's Hinata?" He started off casually. The last thing they wanted to do was make him wary.
"Hinata? She's fine I suppose. Why?" Any talk of his cousin tended to set him on edge.
"We just don't see her that much anymore."
"Well she has been busy with her studies." If he thought that was the end of it, he had another think coming. He signalled to Choji. It was time to bring out the big guns.
"That and with Kiba." Neji instantly fixed his glance onto Choji.
"What's that supposed to mean?" They did feel bad dropping their friend in it like this but the dog lover was quite resilient and would hopefully live.
"He's been inviting her to 'study sessions' in the hope of getting in her pants." Definitely a lie as despite his loud mouth, Kiba would never try and force himself onto a girl like that.
"What?! How dare he try these things with Hinata!"
"She is a free woman. And maybe she likes him?" Shikamaru couldn't be sure but it was possible as she did seem to like him more than most other men.
"But- She can't just- It's wrong!" Well that makes perfect sense.
"What is the problem?" Being blunt seemed to be the way to go.
"It's not as if you like her." Choji it seemed was a genius. Neji turned bright red.
"I- That's- I, um..." The boy was getting flustered. Now they were getting suspicious. Another nudge and perhaps he'd crack.
"Of course he likes her!" Or they could just let Lee tell them. "He's had a crush on her since they were children!"
"Lee! Shut up!" But it was too late now.
"Well that explains why you practically kill anyone who goes near her."
"And text her all the time."
"And cook her dinner once a week."
"Enough! Yes I like my cousin! But what am I supposed to do about it?"
"Tell her maybe?" These people are so difficult to deal with.
"We're cousins!"
"It's not like it's illegal. Err, it is legal isn't it?" Choji looked over at Shikamaru who nodded.
"But our family are really close so if she refused it would make things difficult."
"True that. But do you really think acting like a psychotic stalker is any better?" Not that I can talk with that crazy person over there...
"You have a point... But how am I supposed to tell her?"
"Figure that out yourself." As far as he was concerned he'd done his duty and that was that.
"Err Shika?" Choji looked a little worried. "I need to go walk Ino home, will you guys be ok?"
"Of course. Take your time." I want to stay migraine-free for a little longer.
"Cool, see you." Once Choji had left, Lee appeared to pep up.
"What are you all doing?!"
"Err..." He and Neji made eye contact. Clearly the Hyuuga had no idea what was going on either. Hidan also appeared to have vanished somewhere.
"We should be having fun!"
"We are having fun..." Sitting down most definitely counted as fun. Clearly not for Lee.
"We should be enjoying our youth!"
"How?"
"I say we do 500 press ups!"
"What?!"
"Stop doing this idiocy in other people's houses! I'm so sorry about this."
"Its fine Neji, I don't blame you for this..." I just blame you for bringing this into my house. And how should I escape? The boy wouldn't let doors stop him from getting to his friends and he wasn't going through the effort of leaving his house.
"Join me everyone!" The speed at which he was going was scary. It was tiring just watching him. While Neji attempted to reason with him, Shikamaru slowly backed out the door and into the hall where he started looking for a hiding place. A few seconds later he nearly screamed the house down when he was grabbed from behind and dragged into the cupboard.
"What the-." He soon stopped shouting when he realised who it was. "Hidan! What the hell are you doing?!"
"Hidin' from the twat with the big eyebrows."
"...How long have you been in here?"
"A while."
"I see..." At least it was a decent sized hiding place. And from the crack in the door he could just see the door of the lounge.
"Shikamaru!" He held his breath and tried not to move as Lee came out to the hallway and started looking round. "This is terrible! Someone's stolen Shikamaru!"
...That jackass...
"Err Lee. Maybe he's just-."
"No Neji! You're in denial!" Lee then ran full speed up the stairs shouting for him. The guy was so easy to fool it was almost sad. Just as Neji went to follow him, Shikamaru reached out and dragged him in with them. Hidan didn't seem too pleased at adding anyone else but no way was he leaving him out there alone.
"Shika? What are you guys doing in here?"
"Shhh! We're hiding from Lee."
"Oh. Fair enough."
-Page Break-
An hour later and they were still cramped in the cupboard. Most people would've just left or passed out by now. Not Lee. Alcohol made him so hyper it was scary.
"Will he ever stop?"
"I don't know... I really don't know." If even Neji wasn't sure then it wasn't a good sign.
"Well I'm not staying in my cupboard all night!" It was one of those times that he really wished he had some kind of tranquiliser gun. It could work on Naruto and Kiba too so there were many pro's.
"...Stay here."
"Eh?" Hidan said nothing else but quietly moved out of the cupboard and into the hall.
"What is that idiot doing?"
"I don't know!" He just hoped that he didn't give all of them away.
For a long time there was silence and then they heard a clanging noise in the kitchen. The rogue Lee in the bath room heard and ran down the stairs to find his friends. They saw him run past and held their breaths.
"Hidan! There you-." CLANG. The sound resounded through the house followed by a loud thud.
Uh oh. Shikamaru and Neji dashed in. The first thing they saw was Lee crumpled on the floor unconscious and Hidan standing over him and holding a wok.
"See? I stopped the fucker." Hidan was smiling like a child at Christmas. Neither of the other two knew what exactly to say.
"Err... I'll just grab Lee and go..." Neji picked up Lee and draped him over his shoulders. "Th-thanks for a good night!" The coward fled and left Shikamaru alone. Choji and Ino still weren't back yet which worried him even more. They'd probably got distracted by a fast food place. Choji was easily tempted by any kind of food and it made it difficult to walk down any high street.
"Was it good?" Ah. I got distracted by Choji. "You're happy I hit the asshole right?"
"Um..." How do I say this? "Well it's good that you stopped him I guess... but-." Hidan decided to ignore him and jump him instead. Of course Ino and Choji decided to finally come home at that exact moment.
"Are we interrupting anything?" Ino was clearly imagining something very different.
"Get your mind out of the gutter woman."
"Can I go get my camera?"
"No!" These troublesome fools were giving him a migraine. "And you! Upstairs. Now." Hidan simply did as he was asked. At least someone did.
It wasn't until the door was locked and the gap under the door completely covered (he'd missed this before and regretted it ever since) that he finally relaxed.
"That stupid woman..."
"Do you want me to get rid of her?"
"Eh?"
"You know, I could stab the bitch and dump her in the sea."
"...Um. I think I'm ok actually..." Jesus Christ.
"It's not that hard."
"You've done this before?!" What kind of nut job have I bought into my house!
"...No." He didn't like that long pause.
"You wouldn't... kill me would you?" That was probably a stupid question...
"Are you scared of me?"
"A little..." A lot.
"But I wouldn't hurt you, you're my new-." Hidan suddenly froze up at this.
"Your new what?"
"Err... Nothing! Just... it was a fucking mistake, I didn't say anything."
"Ok..." Well that certainly alleviated his worries. "You're not really making me feel any better with some of the things you say."
"I promise I'll never stab you. Or rape you, drug you, tie you up, beat you, or just fuck you up in general." And there was the psychotic smile.
"Well thanks for that Hidan, I really appreciate it." I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight or any other night...