Chapter 11: A Pirate's Place
That damned mage had sent her heart through a tumultuous storm as of late, but she imagined that she had left Hawke's heart feeling shipwrecked and in a far worse state than hers. The frazzled pirate walked along the pier and kicked at rocks along the way. She had planned to sail away, to drown herself in lust, passion and the open sea, only to return to Kirkwall for needed supplies, yet here she was. The ship she had been serving aboard had long since left the port. She clenched her fist and took a seat at the docks. The waters were calm and lent ease to her thumping heart and head.
"I had hoped the rumors were just that." A stern voice called out to Isabela.
"Big girl, how kind of you to welcome me back." Isabela shot back as she rose to greet her former comrade.
"What brings you to port, Isabela?" Aveline threw her an annoyed look. "Merrill was babbling last night about you being in the city, but I thought it was the wine speaking."
"Ah poor little kitten, she really doesn't have a tolerance for spirits of any kind. I just… wanted to come back is all." Isabela shrugged.
"You were gone for three years, or more like you've evaded Hawke for three years. Unfortunately I've had the pleasure of you visiting every time you dock here."
"Do you dislike my company so much as that?" Isabela mocked her hurt. "The ship has already left…"
Isabela's gaze rolled over the ocean waters and off into the distance. She felt safer on the sea; she could always tell when a storm was brewing. Here in Kirkwall, there was no such warning– chaos merely ensued.
"You're here to stay? Have you seen Hawke, then?"
"I paid her a night time visit, but that was two days ago." Isabela sighed. "Look, I'm not here to be scolded."
"And I'm not here to scold you." Aveline sighed as she took a seat next to the slightly startled pirate. "It's just hard watching both of you being torn apart by," she waved her hands about, "whatever this is."
"Nothing is what it is." Isabela looked away from Aveline's piercing gaze. "I'm just looking for fun and adventure; same old, same old, really."
"I can't tell if you're trying to convince me, or if you're trying to play tricks on yourself. Either way, you know it's a lie. You feel for Hawke as much as the rest of us do, if not more."
Isabela scoffed, "Just because I rut with the mage doesn't mean anything."
"I'm positive it meant more than rutting to Hawke, and perhaps that's what scares you. And here I thought nothing scared you."
"I'm not scared; I'm just not stupid either." Isabela furrowed her eyebrows at the Guard Captain. "I told Hawke from the beginning that it was nothing more than good, no, great sex!"
"And it's not Hawke's fault that it turned into something more, is it?" Aveline threw back at the pirate Queen. "It's not anyone's fault; it's just the way it is. Isabela, why is it so hard to face the truth– you damn well love Hawke."
"I… that's not…" Isabela turned away quickly, "It doesn't matter."
"It matters for the two of you, and if you don't face your pettiness, Hawke's going to be beyond your reach."
"Isn't she already? What is it now? "Champion of Kirkwall"… she's almost as bloody important as Knight-Commander Meredith and Orsino." Isabella muttered. "I'm Isabella, captain of nothing. There's no way I'm going to become someone else's pet woman again."
Aveline sighed and sat by the pirate, "do you honestly think Hawke would do that to you? Display you like some pretty, golden brooch? Hell, Hawke still dresses like a damn soldier instead of lacing herself in ridiculous gems like every other nobleman and woman." Aveline smiled as she said, "Hawke is the exception to every rule I've ever followed or thought to be absolute. Perhaps she's the same to you… scary isn't it?"
Isabela clenched her jaw as she felt her eyes threaten to wet. She knew better than to let her heart soar; to let herself be the victim of folly. Hawke didn't need her… and what if she needed Hawke? Nonsense, a pirate Queen didn't need anyone… she only needed a ship and a decent crew. If only Hawke had been a simple adventurer, someone without a title or the responsibility of governing a Maker-awful town like Kirkwall, then maybe, just maybe, things could have been… different. Hawke would have been free to sail the seas with her, and their life together would make sense. As things were now, Isabela didn't have a place in Hawke's world, and as time passed, the more apparent that became.