My Pet Peeve
Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.
It was quiet. No shouting or whining or irritating noises in general. Such a nice change from the recent events. Hidan was sound asleep so Shikamaru had taken the chance and locked himself in the bathroom. It had been so long since he'd had a nice bath and it was so good to be able to sink into the warm and soapy water. It was all good and he was finally enjoying some much needed peace. Until it was ruined once again.
"Shika? What'cha doin?" Oh good god, does it ever stop?
"I am trying to have a bath."
"Oh... I need to piss."
"Go downstairs then!" Or outside. As long as it was somewhere that wasn't disturbing him.
"It's ok; I'll just come in there."
"But the door's lock-." The words died in his throat as Hidan forced the door open and sent the lock flying across the room. It had been an old door but it was still a pretty astonishing show of strength. "At least shut the door behind you!" It was bad enough already without anyone else getting involved.
"Yeah yeah." At least the toilet was on the other side of the room. Although when he'd finished and was still in the room he started to get annoyed again.
"Are you going to get out?" Hidan shrugged and started stripping off his clothes. "What the hell are you doing now?"
"I'm kind of dirty."
"Well you can wait till I'm finished!"
"I can wash your back." There wasn't much chance for him to protest before Hidan sunk in at the other end leaving him awkwardly up against the end of the tub.
"Haven't you heard of a thing called privacy?"
"Is it edible?"
"I'm not in the mood for you acting like a smartass. If you're in here I'll leave." Perhaps the silver haired one would stay there.
"Noo. Stay."
"Why?!"
"Because."
"You are acting like a brat." Another shrug and he grabbed Shikamaru's arm and scowled at him. "...Please stop looking at me like that. And let go of my arm."
"Will you stay?"
"No."
"Then fuck that."
"...I'll only stay if you don't do anything creepy." Though that was probably too big an ask with this one.
"What counts as creepy?"
"About 99% of the things that you do normally."
"Ok!" They sat there in awkward silence for what felt like eons before Hidan got bored. "So can I wash your back?"
"I said nothing creepy."
"That's not creepy. Everyone does that kinda thing."
"In couples maybe."
"There are two of us."
"I told you I wasn't in the mood for this."
"Just stop your bitching and turn around."
"Will you shut up if I do?"
"Maybe."
"Fine. But no touching anything else or you are dead."
"Yeah I get it." Hidan gladly went about rubbing down the smaller boy's back and while he did tried desperately to think of a way to sneak a peek. Part of the reason he'd barged in was to see if he could get a good look at the boy's most important organ. Sadly the bath had too many bubbles and Shikamaru had obviously been expecting a full frontal attack so had covered himself well. Something more subtle was clearly needed. Well, as subtle as he could be.
It wasn't that Hidan was obsessed with penises or anything like that. More that he'd now he'd been denied it the first time his curiosity had been piqued. Not to mention the fact that he'd always been into men and found the brunette decent looking.
"What are you doing?" Shikamaru sounded suspicious and Hidan realised that he'd just been pressing his palms into his shoulder blades as he zoned out.
"Nothing!"
"Well are you done yet?"
"No! Just... giving you a massage!" And he started making little circles with his hands whilst thinking hard about what to do. Shikamaru was pleasantly surprised and despite his reservations, soon relaxed into the soothing movements. After all, if he couldn't escape from this situation he might as well enjoy it. He wasn't a fool though and he guessed there was some kind of ulterior motive.
Hidan's brain was now in overload as he desperately tried to formulate a plot. It wasn't like Shikamaru had much physical strength and if he did grab him, there wasn't much the boy could do about it. Although if he did that he would most definitely be in deep shit. That would only be a last resort and so he resumed 'massaging' and slowly edging himself forwards. If he did it right, he could get a nice view of it before the boy could notice. Slowly he leaned forward and glanced down below.
"Ah. Quite big." He couldn't help it. It took him by surprise. Shikamaru looked up, saw where he was looking and punched him square in the jaw.
"What the hell is wrong with you?! I told you not to do anything creepy!"
"I was just looking!" His jaw was now aching like hell and every time he spoke it started making a loud clicking noise. "And you've fucked up my jaw!"
"Well maybe you shouldn't act like such a pervert!" Shikamaru's face had turned bright red and he was shielding his lower half as much as possible.
"You don't need to bother, I've seen it all." Another smack, this time on the top of the head. "Stop fucking hitting me!"
"If you think I'm letting you sleep in my room tonight you've got another think coming." And he stormed out of the room with as much dignity he could manage.
I'm such a fucking idiot! Hidan started banging his head into the wall and groaning loudly. At least I saw it though... Perhaps it was worth the punishment after all. He chuckled slightly to himself.
"I can hear you in there!"
"...Shit."
-Page Break-
"Shika?"
"..."
"Shikamaru?"
"..."
"...Stop fucking ignoring me!" After hours of the silent treatment he was so bored he wanted to eat his own foot. Shikamaru was still mad at him though and it wasn't going to end that quickly. No matter what he tried, nothing would persuade the brunette to pay any attention to him. He hadn't even cooked him any food, leaving him to pick at whatever he could find in the fridge.
Shikamaru still ignored him even when he started poking him in the side of the head. Even when he shook him by the shoulders. The boy was incredibly stubborn and it would take more than that to make him stop. It was time for him to swallow his pride and do the one thing he always hated doing. Apologising.
"I'm sorry ok? I didn't fucking mean it! So please talk to meeee!" His voice rose to a high pitched whine and he was on his knees but Shikamaru still stayed silent even though his eyes did momentarily flicker towards him. "Fine! Screw you, I'm going to my room!"
...Isn't that my room? It became clear what he meant when Hidan stalked out of the room and into the cupboard under the stairs. Well that works.
He did feel bad for ignoring the silver haired one for so long but he didn't want to give in so easily. He'd had his privacy invaded far too often and he needed to learn it wasn't acceptable. It felt like he was training a disobedient dog. Clearly this boy was becoming more of a pet than a squatter.
"Err Shika?" He hadn't noticed Ino coming in.
"Yes?"
"Why's Hidan in the cupboard?"
"Because he finds it cosy? I'm not too sure."
"...You two are weird." He doubted he could ever be as weird as Hidan.
"Well there's not much I can do about it."
"Can't you get him to move? I have stuff in there!"
"I'm trying to ignore him so it would really ruin the whole thing."
"Why are you ignoring him?"
"Because he looked at my dick in the bath."
"That's it?! God, you are such a prude."
"It was an invasion of my privacy you troublesome woman!"
"You're both guys. He has one too. Just make up with him, because he doesn't listen to anyone else."
"...Will you stop nagging me if I do?"
"Yes."
"Fine." He gave a long-suffering sigh. The cupboard door seemed to be jammed when he went to open it and he could feel his eye twitching. "Open the door."
"Shika? That whore isn't with you, is she?"
"You mean Ino?"
"Yeah that one."
"No she isn't."
"Good."
"...Are you coming out?"
"Heh."
"What?"
"Coming out of the closet..."
"Very mature. Now get out, Ino is going to keep complaining at me until you do."
"Well that's your fucking problem."
"Stop sulking in there."
"You can hardly talk! You've been bitching at me all afternoon!"
"Well you've only got yourself to blame. Now out!"
"For fucks sake." It seemed to work despite the groaning and the silver haired one stalked off down the hall. At least it shut up the banshee even if it meant he had to deal with another whiny one.
-Page Break-
The mood gradually got worse as the evening went on. Both were stubborn and neither wanted to break the awkward silence or apologise. As Shikamaru was the more level headed of the two of them he knew he was going to end up sorting things. Hidan was sitting at the other end of the bed pouting although why he was so angry was beyond the brunette. It wasn't like anything had happened to him.
"Ok Hidan this needs to stop."
"What does?" As annoying as it was, he found himself longing for the 'lovable' Hidan who wanted constant attention. He was strangely less annoying that way.
"Stop pouting and talk to me. Why are you so angry anyway?"
"Because you're always pissed off at me."
"Because you usually do things that get on my nerves."
"Like?"
"You do things I specifically tell you not to. And I don't really like having other guys feeling me up."
"It's not like I'd do anything else! I just get so fucking bored all the time!"
"That's how you alleviate boredom?"
"Kind of..." He wasn't going to mention the other things he wanted.
"...You need a hobby."
"You're not pissed at me anymore?" He wasn't nearly as independent as he acted and he didn't like it when people ignored him. And Shikamaru was the only person he could stand right now.
"No... Just don't do it again." Being angry was just too much wasted effort. Trying to scold him any more would be bothersome too. Hidan seemed pleased enough and practically dived onto him. "I think you're taking this a little too far."
"I fucking love being here~."
"Well thanks? Now can you get off?"
"But you're so squishy! And warm~."
"What's wrong with you? Christ you're freezing. I'm guessing that's why you're such an idiot. Your blood flows so slowly there's not enough of it flowing to your brain."
"Hey!"
"Don't worry about it. Thinking too much might break you after all."
"Ha ha, you're fucking hilarious."
Haven't had much time to update as I have a few pretty big things to do for uni so updates will be slower for a while :3 And to that guest review, I see your point about not having enough HidaShika but if I don't add in other characters it gets kind of boring which is why I do it often :3 I'll be doing a bit more of just those two though as I have done a lot with the others in recent chapters.