Phineas facepalmed.
Why did he just make Isabella leave?
Tears threatened to come.
So Phineas reluctantly and haphazardly consulted Ferb.
"Ferb, I need to talk to you," Phineas stated.
Then Ferb facepalmed, as if Phineas just said something stupid.
"Why didn't you stand up to Buford when he destroyed my work?!" Phineas charged.
Ferb's jaw posture turned rigid.
"Because he was in the right," Ferb countered.
"Do you believe that to be true?!" Phineas interrogated.
Ferb nodded his head menacingly.
"That is a lie built upon a fallacy!" Phineas convicted.
"Go away!" Ferb swept.
"Not until you tell me the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth!" Phineas riled.
Ferb stared him down.
They were having a staredown.
Ferb blinked first.
"Why?" Phineas spurted. "Why?! I needed you, and you refused to stand up for your brother. You won't even tell me why! Why?"
"Because you need to grow up," Ferb answered.
"Grow up?! Grow up?!" Phineas asked.
Now he was literally giggling sideways in extreme frustration, retaliation, and impatience.
"You think I need to grow up? Go get some fertilizer so you can grow a head! What makes me more immature than the lot of you? And why is me being immature a good excuse for you to do that?"
"Because it's fun," Ferb stated simply.
Phineas was now fully riled.
"YOU TRAITOR! YOU WOULDN'T HELP ME IF IT WAS MY LIFE!" Phineas blasted.
Ferb staggered backwards.
He clung to the banister for support.
"Our- relationship- is- over," Ferb struggled to state.
Then he hobbled up the stairs and left Phineas to cry alone.
Phineas had a hunger for friendship that was always fed, but now everyone had changed.
He remembered when Isabella would put her nose in his hair and smell it.
He remembered when Ferb would give him a thumbs up.
He remembered when Buford playfully teased him by calling him "Dinner Bell".
Baljeet was forever under the power of Buford, it seemed.
Phineas refused to accept Baljeet's fate as his own.
"I don't know what I am going to do, Perry. My life is bad now. I just wish you would come back," Phineas lamented.
What was ironic was that Heinz was monologuing as if Perry was there too.
"So you think you can defeat me, Perry the Platypus? Well, you can't, because you got replaced by Peter the Panda, and you are no longer a secret agent, and you're gone now..." Heinz rambled.
Then he sighed and shed one solitary tear.
"I'm a failure," Heinz muttered.
That was the story of his life.
"I can't even live without a stupid monotreme who was my frenemy. Vanessa's off at O.W.C.A., Charlene never talks to me anymore, Norm broke down, and all I have left to do is watch television, fight Peter, and make muffins."
Heinz broke down on the couch.
He was talking to a platypus who wasn't even present, and hadn't been in a long time.
He stuffed another muffin in his mouth and howled in lament.
Meanwhile, Phineas was in a similar situation.
He gobbled up the sandwich his mother laid before him.
Hunger jumped around in Phineas.
Pretty soon, Phineas had shoved one twentieth of the food in the fridge down his piehole.
That included pie.
His mother stopped him.
"Phineas, what are you doing? Stop eating or you are going to hurl!" Linda cautioned.
Phineas frowned and burst into tears once more.
"What's wrong?" Linda asked.
He just turned around and ran into his room.
"Phineas?! Phineas!" Linda exclaimed.
She exhaled frustratedly and followed.
"Listen, Phineas, I am your mother. It is my job to know what is going on. And right now I don't. Why are you so upset? I have never seen you like this! I need you to tell me what's going on!"
"No! It, it, it hurts too much," Phineas cried.
"Are you doing drugs?!" Linda exclaimed.
"No!" Phineas exclaimed immediately.
"Were you doing it with Isabella?" Linda asked fearfully.
"What do you even mean?" Phineas asked back confusedly.
Linda took a step back.
Her son was sixteen, and he didn't even know what she meant.
Then she thought back and verbally gasped.
Linda thought Lawrence had told Phineas how it works.
But she must have assumed wrong.
She had really done it this time.
How was she supposed to tell him now?
Sure, it's awkward when he's twelve, but when he's sixteen?
She got back to the subject at hand.
"Why are you like this?" Linda asked.
She was wondering why she had even asked the Isabella question.
In retrospect, that didn't fit in with his behavior.
She just dismissed it as a mother's paranoia.
"Ferb, Isabella, Buford, they're all being mean to me in their own ways. They say that I should just grow up! Grow up! Ha! I'd like to see them grow another limb!" Phineas pouted angrily and sorrowfully.
Then the full waterworks came.
"They exclude me from everything!" Phineas screeched.
"I love them so much, but now they hate me! Don't you see! My life is ruined! And should I give a crud? No! But I do," Phineas wailed.
"Oh. I am so sorry, honey. I think that this is my and Lawrence's fault," she explained.
"You see, Ferb and the others know some things that I should have taught you a long time ago. Firstly, any activity that is done by toddlers is uncool, but if you call your girlfriend "baby", that's cool," Linda started.
For clarification, Linda didn't know a lot about being cool, but she still knew infinitely more than Phineas.
"What's a girlfriend?" Phineas asked in response.
Read the first sentence again for an extra laugh. This is a strange mix of comedy and tragedy. :-)-: Please review!