Linda chuckled heartily, much to Phineas' dismay.
"Honey, a girlfriend is like someone who is anywhere between romantic partner and anticipating fiancee," Linda explained.
"Oh, that makes so much sense... What is a romantic partner?" Phineas asked.
"I don't know exactly how to define that, but I can give myself and Lawrence as examples of romantic partners, because he is my husband," Linda explained.
"So a romantic partner is basically a husband," Phineas concluded.
Linda faceplamed for the first time in her entire life.
It was all her subconscious, so she gasped.
"What?!" Phineas asked concernedly.
"Nothing, it is just that you got the definition wrong. All right; let me explain. Let's say you walk down the street and you see Isabella coming. Suddenly your heartbeat increases. You feel very jittery. That is a crush. You want nothing more than to kiss her! That's a really big crush; I just used Isabella as an example," Linda started.
Phineas' face turned wan, pallid, pale, colorless, before breaking out into dulled crimson, flush, florid, and ruddy in complexion.
Linda continued.
"Let's say you go after her."
Phineas' tension increased.
"You tell her how you feel and she feels the same way and voila, you and Isabella are in a romantic relationship," Linda explained.
"But then, you would probably want to become her boyfriend. So you would, and a few years would pass and then you would come to her with a diamond ring," Linda recalled.
Phineas couldn't take it anymore.
"I, um, uh, well, I need, ah," Phineas stalled.
"Why are you acting so nervous, silly! It almost seems like you do have a crush on Isabella. That would be a strange coincidence, wouldn't it, Phineas?" Linda asked.
Phineas just walked quietly out of the room.
"Wait, you do?" Linda asked in faux surprise.
She was a Phinabella shipper right down to the core.
Phineas ran in to his room.
Phineas fell over on his bed and idled.
He didn't want to have a crush on Isabella; romance was a very touchy subject for Phineas.
Even thinking about it applying to him seemed to violate some unwritten law.
He realized why Isabella's refusal to stand up for Phineas hurt more than the others.
He wanted more, so much more than just friendship.
And no, just because Phineas became somewhat romantically aware doesn't mean that he had "grown up" at all.
He was still childish in most respects, romantic situations and dealings included.
He still didn't understand what happened behind closed doors.
He still didn't understand how dates worked.
He was still almost utterly clueless.
All he knew was that he had no idea about anything anymore when it came to Isabella.
Ferb sprang into his mind.
Ferb was not his brother anymore.
He was just a boy who lived in the same house.
He felt pain equal to what he felt with Isabella.
Suddenly, Irving popped up.
"Hello, Phineas," Irving greeted.
"First off, who are you? Why are you in my room? And why do you have that corny grin on your face?" Phineas interrogated.
"Buford is going to get you, tomorrow!" Irving informed.
Irving cackled at the look on Phineas' face.
"Ta ta!" Irving shouted.
Then he threw a unprofessional sort of smoke bomb and disappeared.
Phineas went to look at his blueprints.
A few minutes later, Linda called him in for dinner.
Phineas sat down next to Ferb.
Ferb turned away excludingly.
Candace noticed it.
"Phineas and Ferb?! What did you two do this time?!" Candace yelled.
"Candace, volume!" Linda rebuked.
"Well, Phineas won't grow up!" Ferb struck in his cunning British accent.
The room grew silent.
"Ferb, that isn't really the most polite thing to say, it's it?" Lawrence chided.
"Explain!" Candace burst suddenly.
"Phineas won't stop asking for us to do childish things, like make giant smiley faces balloons or make bouncy balls or..." Ferb started.
"Hey! I sound the Ducky Momo sound loud and proud! You better not say something regrettable, mister," Candace threatened.
Ferb broke into laughter which was met by a bowl of hot soup thrown sideways on his lap.
"Candace Flynn!" Linda exclaimed.
"You should know proper table behavior," Linda pouted.
"Fat chance if Ferb dares to defile Ducky Momo," Candace countered.
"You know what? _ Ducky Momo!" Ferb yelled.
"Ferrb! I need to have a little chat with you," Lawrence foreshadowed.
He got up and beckoned for Ferb.
Ferb followed timidly.
And so Linda was there with her daughter and her son.
"Candace!" Linda exclaimed.
Candace just ignored her by reaching for another piece of bread.
It was clear to Linda that Candace would not apologize, so she just sighed in frustration and left the room.
Meanwhile, Lawrence took Ferb into the garage.
Ferb was feeling a great amount of dread.
"So son," Lawrence started. "What do you think about what happened?"
He was very stern and convicting in his temperament, but not wrathy or condemning.
"I think that Candace and Phineas are ridiculous. They think life is just a basket of cherries, do they? They need to grow up and realize that it isn't all poppies and pansies!" Ferb retorted.
"Do you think that your word choice was appropriate?" Lawrence asked.
"No, and that's why I said it that way," Ferb countered coldly.
"Well, you're brutally honest; I'll give you that," Lawrence commented.
"Why did you choose an inappropriate word choice?" Lawrence confronted.
"Because their worldviews are irrelevant and inadequate to the real world! They need to grow up!" Ferb exclaimed.
"No, son, you need to grow up. You think there is a big gap between childhood and adulthood? There is not! Let me tell you from experience, some people truly never grow up, like your Uncle Adrian. He is as big of a baby as he always has been. You just have to learn to live with these types of people, not that I agree that Candace and Phineas need to grow up more than they are, or that they are of those types. They are fine to me. Tell me, why are you so riled?" Lawrence prompted.
"It annoys me to death and embarrasses me, okay?" Ferb defended.
"Why are you embarrassed?" Lawrence asked.
"Because they're so childish and kiddy!" Ferb answered in frustration.
"Who are you in front of that makes you embarrassed? In other words, if Phineas and Candace were doing a 'childish' play, what are the people that you would never want in the audience?" Lawrence asked.
This question threw Ferb off kilter, which is quite an achievement, that is, to make Ferb lose his composure.
"I would not want Buford, Monty, or Vanessa there, especially that last one," Ferb answered honestly.
"Is that your crush?" Lawrence asked.
"Well, uh, um, yeah," Ferb muttered.
"Who is Monty?" Lawrence asked.
"Her current boyfriend," Ferb answered.
"Why would you not want Buford there?" Lawrence asked.
"Because, he's a jerk! Did you hear about how bad he bullied Phineas? It is humiliating! Phineas couldn't even stand up for himself! I mean, what am I supposed to do? Stand up for him because my wittle bwubah can't stand up for himself? That would be even worse! If Buford was there at the play, he would make some rotten joke, and everyone would laugh at the Phineas in a kitty suit and the Candace in a puppy suit! I am honestly fully sick of both of them! Do you realize how badly they could damage my reputation? You really don't get what this is all about, do you? If I get labelled as uncool, Vanessa will never even set her eyes on me! I can't let that happen! I just can't!" Ferb explained.
Tears were in his eyes; this was when Lawrence realized that it wasn't just a crush.
You hated Ferb, and now you love him... or you still hate him. Ferb isn't an awful person, he is just a slave to society. Whether you like doughnuts or not, I will write on! :-p Wow, that was random. (stomach rumbles) Or perhaps not... Review!