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The Institute never ceased to amaze Clary. It was magnificent to look at and conveyed an intimidating sense of power. She itched to draw it every time she saw it and that surprised her because she hadn't pick up a pencil since forever.

It had been two days since her last visit there and the last bruises faded that morning after she felt well enough to give herself one of her more powerful healing runes. And Jiliel be damned for not holding back one bit, knowing she would have done exactly that. He didn't come back like he said he would the previous night but for sure she wasn't complaining. Maybe he thought it was more fun this way, threatening to come back to beat her again and then let her waiting for him all night, jumping at every sound, wondering if the steps in the corridor were his. She didn't sleep much and she felt slightly dizzy for the lack of rest and the strength needed to apply the healing rune, but she was satisfied. Maybe when Jiliel branded her he thought not even her runes would help her in healing that, but he was wrong: not a scar remained on her shoulder. And if the rune didn't work, she was prepared to just cut the skin off her body until no sign remained, even if it meant to be scarred forever, not moving her arm anymore. There was no way she would live her life branded as a property of the Fair Folk. She breathed deeply in and out trying to find the courage to cross the threshold knowing Jace and all the others were there. There was no need to pretend anymore, no reason to show strength or coldness to deceive her family. She smiled at the thought: her family. She liked to consider them part of her heart, all of them and she hoped the feeling was mutual even after everything she had done. Simon forgave her and Isabelle was mad at her but still by her side. Who knew what would Magnus think or Alec; after their rocky start, she had come to appreciate the quiet Shadowhunter, his calm voice, his deep blue eyes that always looked like they could see directly into your soul and she hated to think about how disappointed he was, knowing that Jace and her deceived them all, that they lied for such a long time.

Clary sighed and took the first step inside, closing her eyes. Somehow she felt like it was the first time, like she was just stepping into a new life again, the same way she did all those years ago. She took the elevator and walked to the training room, listening to her own steps in the corridor and suddenly she knew she wasn't alone anymore.

She felt him behind her, without even seeing him and she smiled, stopping walking and just leaning back. He was there, his chest welcoming her, his arms closing around her shoulders, his hands gently caressing her own.

"I've been worried." Jace whispered, kissing her hair. "Are you alright?"

"Now I am." She answered, her voice no more than a feeble breath of air. "But I missed you."

His hold tightened around her. "When you didn't come yesterday, I almost barged in your apartment. Isabelle convinced me not to but when she came back later, she refused to tell me what happened."

"Jace please—" She tried moving but he was holding her too hard.

"Tell me." He whispered in her ear, kissing it slowly. His lips were warm, soft and gentle and Clary felt a shiver down her spine and sighed.

"Don't ask me. Please, just don't."

"Did he hurt you again? Did he touch you again?" He was tracing her jaw now, going up and down, kissing her cheek and the corner of her mouth.

"It's not your burden." She whispered, trying to keep her voice under control. "I don't want you to bear it."

"Nothing about you will ever be a burden. I'm here for you, I'll always be here for you."

Clary swallowed closing her eyes and biting her lower lip. It was so good to be in his arms again, so calm and reassuring, like nothing could ever hurt her when Jace was standing guard. She didn't want to think about anything else, not now. She wanted to breathe him in, to feel him, to trace his face with her fingers, to learn again every line, every curve of his body.

"Kiss me." She whispered. "That's all I want. Kiss me. Claim me. Teach me again that I'm yours, that nothing matters but us."

It was a desperate plea but one she had to make, after what happened with Jiliel, after what he did to her. She needed to erase his touch like no shower could ever do, she needed Jace to take her so completely that she wouldn't even remember the fairy's name. Forget everything, she wanted to forget those horrible six months, forget the blackmailing, forget that her life was a living hell now, a hell that was waiting for her to come back to her apartment and just engulf her in flames again. So, when Jace did nothing but hold her, probably unsure on what to do, Clary turned in his arms, locked her hands on his neck and pulled him down to her. Her mouth was needy and demanding on his and she pushed and pulled until Jace finally moved, lifting her by the waist and never leaving her lips as his kiss became more and more passionate, resonating the urgency he felt in Clary. He kicked open the door of an empty bedroom, one of the many in the Institute and when they were inside Clary was the one to shut it before being flattened against the wall, still in the arms of her husband.

They didn't talk, didn't utter a single word while they undressed fast and almost ripping their clothes off, the soft fabric falling soundlessly on the floor. Jace was now kissing her along the neck, kneeling down before her to let his lips trail everywhere, from her jaw to her shoulders, following the soft curve of her chest, down to her stomach and up again when Clary took his face in her hands to kiss him hard and deep, willing herself to be lost in the wonderful meeting of their lips. They were suddenly on the bed, Jace's arms on the side of Clary's head, her fingers digging in his back, their legs tangled together, her hips wildly pushing against his as he wordlessly kissed her everywhere he could reach. Clary closed her eyes arching her back, lost in the sensations but as soon as Jace's golden eyes were no longer before hers, the darkness came.

Wrists bloody and throbbing.

Cruel fingers digging in her hips.

Hard, cold lips wandering on her body, biting viciously.

Her own cries, so loud that she had no more voice in the end.

Heavy hands beating her, slapping her, knocking her breath out.

A merciless body violating her, again and again, until she spent all her tears.

The belt, down and down and down.

Hot knives carving in her skin her torturer insignia.

And then all over again.

All night.

Clary cried out in agony, forgetting where she was, forgetting who she was with, forgetting everything but the blinding pain, the terror, the rage. Her mind completely lost, she violently pushed Jace away from her, she grabbed the knife hidden in her boots and lounged forward to kill her enemy.

Jace didn't know what was happening. One moment he was lying on top of Clary, ready to get rid of the last pieces of clothes between them and the next he was on the floor, the sharp point of a knife inches from his face. Looking at her it was obvious Clary wasn't herself right now: her eyes were empty, she wasn't really looking at him, he wasn't even sure if she knew where she was anymore. His mind instantly travelled back in time, when Lilith had possessed him. Was this how he had looked? So distant, so closed off, so unreachable? Forcing the knife away from his face, he rolled on the side but Clary ran to him again, ready to stab in the chest this time. He taught her well during all those years, they were almost equal in combat now and that was making things difficult because he didn't want to hurt her while she definitely wanted to kill him.

"Clary!" He shouted avoiding a blow. "Clary, stop!"

But the vacant look in her eyes told her she didn't hear him. It was almost like she was sleepwalking, a very fast and deadly sleepwalker.

Not having another choice he started to fight back, trying to get the knife but Clary was dancing around him in the little room like she had wings. If this kept up, sooner or later she would land a successful blow so Jace opened the door and ran in the corridor, trying to get more room to fight.

"I'll kill you." She growled, her voice so full of hatred, it froze his heart. "I'll kill you, you monster!"

"Clary, wake up!" Jace dodged another blow and finally got a hold of her wrists, making her drop her knife. She thrashed in his grip landing kick after kick on his exposed legs but he just lifted her and threw her back in the room, closing the door.

Rushing to the bed he pinned his wife on it, holding her wrists with enough strength to bruise or she would have broken free and attacked him again. She was wild, her pupils dilated, a horrible grimace on her face.

"You want to tie me up again?" She hissed looking at him straight in the eyes, not even a flicker of recognition in them. "I'll kill you before you can brand me again, filthy Downworlder!"

Jace felt his heart skip a beat when he realised she thought he was Jiliel but he didn't have time to do anything because Clary kicked him with enough strength to make him roll down the bed; years of Shadowhunting had made her strong and fierce and even in her clouded state of mind she was a formidable opponent.

With lightning speed, he grabbed his stele from his pants on the floor and lounged to Clary before she could attack him again, throwing her on her stomach and quickly drawing a rune in the centre of her back, near her heart.

"I'm sorry Clary." He whispered completing the "Sleep now" rune. Moments later the tense body of his wife calmed down and she closed her eyes, going limp.

Jace gently turned her around, looking at her now relaxed face. He slowly dressed her up again, picking then up his own clothes and stopping for a second to caress the soft red hair he loved so much.

Then he dressed up and left, going to look for Magnus.

"Is she alright?" Alec asked whispering, looking at Clary's sleeping face. She was pale and motionless, her breathing slow and deep. Magnus was sat down by her side, a concentrated look in his eyes while he was gently touching her wrist. Everybody else was standing in the small room, looking at Clary without talking. They couldn't have a Silent Brother check on her because he would read her mind and find out about William and the Seelie Court, so they had to rely on Magnus, although they were pretty confident in his abilities. When the warlock got up, every pair of eyes was fixed on him.

"She's exhausted but otherwise fine. She probably just needs to sleep. The attack won't have consequences."

"But what was it?" Jace sat down beside Clary, taking Magnus place. "She suddenly lost it, she didn't recognise me anymore. It was like she was sleepwalking."

"She went through something traumatic all these months Jace. Sooner or later it was bound to come up. She had a breakdown."

The blond Shadowhunter turned to Isabelle. "You refused to tell me what happened yesterday. Clary talked about being tied up and branded. Tell me what that was about Izzy."

Isabelle paled and bit the inside of her cheek, but Jace would have none of it. "She's my wife Izzy and she just attacked me. She wanted to kill me, she thought I was him. You will tell me what happened. Now."

Simon nodded to her, urging her to talk; he didn't know what this was about, but he was as eager as Jace, they were talking about his best friend.

"When she opened the door yesterday she was beaten up." Isabelle finally relented. "There wasn't an inch of her body that wasn't bruised."

The boys stopped breathing for a moment and suddenly the room was filled with so much tension Isabelle wanted to bolt out, whip in her hands and guide the punishing expedition that would kill the Fairy Knight.

"She told me she rebelled the other night, that she fought him. Then he threatened William so she had no choice but surrender. And he punished her." She took a deep breath, trying to calm down. "She made me promise not to tell you, she didn't want anybody to know. But I don't know anything about a branding. If something like that happened, she didn't tell me about it."

"She must have healed it." Jace murmured, caressing Clary's hair. "Stubborn, little girl, she would never have me see something like that."

He never felt so powerless, unable to help her in any way; he could kill Jiliel, but what good would it do? The Seelie Queen was more than capable of taking her revenge on Will and Clary wouldn't want it. It was disgusting that she would use a child against his mother, that she twisted the love she felt for him in that sick way. Compared to her, he had it easy: Kaelie never once tried to use on him the power her Queen gave her. She could have forced him to do anything, but she pitied him enough not to torment him.

Isabelle's phone chose that moment to ring and when she looked at the screen, she turned around and went to pick it up in the corridor. Jace looked at her raising his eyebrow but his whole attention shifted to Clary when she started to stir on the bed.

"Jace?" She called whispering, opening and closing her eyes. She felt exhausted.

"I'm here," he softly replied taking her hand. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I hunted demons for a week straight without sleeping." She tried to smile but it came out as a weak curving of her lips. "What happened?"

"You had a sort of blackout." Magnus replied when Jace didn't say anything. "But you're fine now, you just need to rest."

"Can I have a moment with her, alone, please?" Jace asked without looking back at his friends. "I think we need to talk."

The boys nodded and Magnus was the first to leave the room. Simon leaned down to kiss Clary on the forehead but Alec didn't move. When Jace turned around to look at him, he found something he rarely saw in his parabatai eyes, something he usually reserved just for his siblings.

"Clary," Alec said looking at her right in the eyes. "I know it's not my place to say this, but I will anyway: I don't want you to go back to your apartment. I don't want you to be alone with him again. We'll think about something but if I have to tie you up to keep you here, then I'll do it. I won't let you get beaten up to insanity again."

"Alec—" Clary started to protest, realising Isabelle must have told them what happened to her. The dark haired boy cut her off.

"I've known you since you were sixteen. You're like a sister to me. You're part of the family. And I protect my family Clary. There's no way I'll let that beast lift another finger on you. Ever."

With that Alec gave her one of his wonderful smiles and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Clary sighed leaning on the pillow and closed her eyes. "I get Isabelle didn't keep her promise."

"Don't hold it against her." Jace said, caressing her hand. "Given the situation it was either she talked or I beat the information out of her."

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "I didn't want you to know. It's already hard enough for both of us without me adding fuel to the fire."

"Tell me what happened Clary, and this time I want to know everything."

"Why?" She opened her eyes looking at him, the pain clear in her gaze. "You can't undo what he did. I don't want you to feel—"

"Powerless? Frustrated? Desperate?" Jace squeezed her hand with anger. "It's already like this. Clary, you talked about being tied up and branded, how do you think I should feel? You're my wife and he damaged you to the point that as soon as I touched you, you tried to kill me, thinking it was him."

And that was it. Images of that cursed night surfaced and bit by bit she started to remember when she attacked her husband. Horror filled her at the thought of what she could have done to him and she started shaking.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, choking back a sob. "I'm so sorry, Jace, I really thought I could do it, I needed you so much—" She sat up and threw herself in Jace's arms, hiding her face in his chest. "I wanted to forget. I wanted to remember what it was like to be yours, to be loved and cherished. But when I closed my eyes he was all I could see and—"

Jace held her tight letting her talk, letting her pour everything out. And she did: six months of suffering, abuse, pain, longing and despair. Soon he had to fight the tears, listening to what she had to endure but he never said anything, never interrupted her, never vowed to kill the Fairy Knight, even though his blood was boiling in anger and fury: it wasn't what she needed. She needed him, her husband, her pillar, the man she could trust more than anyone, the one who would never judge her, never abandon her. He wanted to be that man, even though every fibre of his being was shouting at him to get up, grab a Seraph blade and dispose of Jiliel forever.

In the end Clary stopped talking but he never let her go, keeping her in his arms and running soothing circles on her back, whispering sweet nothings in her ear. Bit by bit she relaxed in his hold, her face still buried in his chest, her shoulders slowly stopping shaking.

"Clary, Alec is right." Jace murmured, kissing her hair. "You can't go back to your apartment. You understand that, don't you?"

"But—"

"We can tell them your mother wants you back in Alicante for good, to help you feel better. After all she's been asking about it since months and Jiliel knows it. You going there for a period of time could be justified to him as not wanting to raise your family suspicions. You can portal, so we could still see each other and the Fair Folk aren't allowed in Idris anymore, so you would be safe. Please tell me you can consider this."

Clary was silent for a few minutes, then she slowly let him go, raising her face to look at him. Her features were very tired, her eyes bloodshot and it took her some deep breaths to manage to speak with a steady voice.

"Jace I can't go now. First I need to find out if what Jiliel told me about William is true."

His frame tensed up. "What about Will?"

"He told me the Queen is using him for something. She didn't take him just to make us suffer, she took him because she needed him and I have to know why. That's why I can't leave."

Jace was about to reply when someone knocked on the door and a moment later Isabelle came back in the room, the phone still in her hands.

"Clary, do you think you can get up now? Are you well enough?" She asked with urgency in her eyes. When Clary nodded, Isabelle turned to look at Jace. "It was Kaelie on the phone. She's coming here right now, she said she needs to talk to you both about Will. She found out what's happening."