Thessia

The bed was the same. The bed sheets, the pillow, the quiet presence beside her and yet, it felt strange. As if she didn't quite belong there. Shepard was not sure she understood how so much could change within the space of a few days. Was it all because Liara was flipping like a pancake? Or was it just herself?

It was too dark to make out Liara's face, lying on her side facing her, but she knew she wasn't asleep. She hadn't said much during dinner. Except for a look from Aethyta when her bondmate showed no interest in eating, no one seemed to be in the mood for small talk. Shiala floated in and out like a ghost, clammed up so tight not a wisp of thought came from her. With that stony face that revealed nothing, she had no idea what was turning in the asari's head. She shifted restlessly before forcing herself to remain still. The conversation with Telienos at lunch drifted across her mind.

"We called it a displacement when an outside influence directly disrupts the psyche and induces changes in personal perception."

"Wouldn't that apply to mind melding in any form?"

Twirling the spoon in her hand, Shepard poked at the last few pieces of fruit swimming in cream in the bowl. There were only the two of them in the private dining alcove of the canteen. A ceiling to floor window looked out to the garden.

"Bonding is different." Telienos nodded when the human looked up to meet her sympathetic eyes. The doubts that were assailing Shepard was clear in every move she made, in the line of her body and her face. "It is a meeting of two minds in accord, consenting to a touch that is deeply personal and intimate. There can be no unity if one party is not receptive."

"What if the other party is unaware?"

"Then it is not real bonding but a form of coercion that is unlawful, criminal. What Shiala T'Sule did on Feros is wrong. The penalties for such transgression is harsh, with justification. You are aware of the history of Shairio."

It wasn't a question. Shepard had attuned well with asari customs and way of life. She would know of whom she spoke of.

"Yes. She was one of the most powerful ancient emissaries in the emerging commonwealth. She was discovered misusing her gifts. The bloody conflicts that took hundreds and thousands of lives were attributed to her. That's what I read." Shepard's tone lifted slightly in question.

A datapad on that particular history was tossed to her by Aethyta a few years back, several months after the bonding ceremony. The only comment from the erstwhile bartender was that it's better to know where she was. It was confusing at first but she came to realise Aethyta wanted her to know there was more to the asari than what she had assumed.

"Shairio displayed extraordinary talents and became a novitiate in the Order of Athame at an unusually young age. At that time, besides observing the religious auspices, the priestesses of the Order also served as healers and teachers. Shairio showed much promise. Many thought she would excel as a healer. She proved them right in that aspect but many never suspected she harbored a hungry ambition and a duplicitous personality. She left imprints and compulsions in the people who sought her healing gifts. Her word and every desire was theirs. Their support raised her to great heights. She sowed chaos among those she could not touch while binding more and more who sought her skills to her will. Friends turned against friends, loved ones were torn apart, clans could find no consensus. Single-handedly, she almost destroyed us as a whole with her manipulations."

The bloody conflict almost unravel the fledgling commonwealth, the text stated. It seemed impossible that one person could wreak so much death and havoc until Shepard remembered similar examples in human history. It also reminded her of someone else who hinted the use of her gifts to bind loyalty. She didn't know if she should mention it. Aria might declare herself an outlaw but somehow she didn't think the pirate queen had sunk to the depths of depravity that Shairio was said to have done.

Sensing her dilemma, Telienos said, "You have a question."

Shepard hesitated then decided to take the plunge. "Have you heard of Aria T'Loak?"

"Indeed I do," said Telienos. "You want to know if she uses her abilities among those who follow her."

"She hasn't openly admitted it, only hinted at it but I could be reading too much into what she said. For all I know she's tying very good bedknots." Shepard grinned.

Telienos chuckled. "Aria is skilled at balancing charisma, presence, menace and persuasion. She knows how to make the best use of the natural allure inherent in us."

"You know her," said Shepard.

"Aria has an important function that is appreciated." Telienos only smiled when the human's gaze sharpened. "She tempers the hunger of her ambition with prudence and will not jeopardise her own or our position."

"I see." Shepard said slowly.

The remarkably offbeat admission Aria dropped in the discussion to gain her support to retake Omega didn't quite sit well with the pirate queen's reputation. It took on another aspect in light of the disclosure from Telienos. Was it a deliberate choice Aria chose to take or did latent support come later after she had established herself on Omega? It didn't matter one way or another.

"I can see why the asari kept that part of themselves hidden away," she said.

"It is not a matter we like to air openly," Telienos admitted. "Only to those who have integrated themselves with us do we become more honest. Aethyta would not have shown you that part of our history if she thought otherwise. Because of Shairio, we began to think and plan on laying down as many rules and guidelines as possible to prevent such a calamitous event from happening again. We realised that without physical enforcement, there would be no effective vigilance."

Shepard hazarded a guess. "Is that when the Justicars began?"

Telienos nodded. "Conventional law enforcement allowed those who have committed milder forms of offense to conduct a defense. However, we recognized that extreme measures must be carried out to prevent the perversion of the talents we are born with. There can be no concession, no appeal. Justicars are mandated to carry out the final sentence without prejudice."

"I have to say they are very effective," Shepard said, recalling the fear and panic simmering among the traders at Illium when they learned a Justicar had arrived. "But isn't the order defunct right now?"

"Justicars are few in numbers, that is true. Those who have returned to defend Thessia have fallen," Telienos said gravely, "but not all."

"Samara." Shepard recalled the email she received from her months ago or was that a year ago?

"Indeed. Two others have survived and returned from the outer colonies. The Justicars will rebuild because they must. Especially more so in current irresolute times." Telienos reached for her cup of tea and drained it. "You are not going to press charges against T'Sule."

"It..." Shepard tried to explain and then shrugged. "No."

"I would have." Telienos saw her shock. "There is one thing you have not grasped. Aspiring asari acolytes have to undergo stringent trials to test her discipline and capabilities. Benezia T'Soni had one of the hardest gates to pass. T"Sule's lapse cannot be condone."

"I would say her lapse is defensible under the circumstances she was in."

"You do not understand."

Telienos looked at the cup in her hands and suddenly hurled it in Shepard's direction. She threw herself sideways out of her chair before she registered what was coming at her. She rolled and sprang up into a fighting stance but the matriarch didn't move. The empty cup bounced off the chair she was sitting in, down to the floor before rattling to a stop.

"What was that all about?" she demanded, not certain she should get angry or alarm; there had not been much force behind the throw.

"What would it take to overcome discipline?" Telienos interlaced her fingers. "Conscious effort, deliberation."

"Or an outside influence," Shepard contended.

"Shepard."

She didn't know how Telienos did it with just a word but she felt like a kid being dragged up front in class for refusing to admit to misbehaviour. Grumpily, she picked up the cup and put it back on the table. She sat down and looked back steadily.

"The point I'm trying to make is that ingrained discipline is instinctual, training takes over unless someone else has taken total control of her actions. Every asari is thoroughly schooled in mental disciplines, to protect herself and those around her. It takes conscious will to break it. In the first transgression, T'Sule tries to excuse her action, citing the Thorian's influence but if you think back on what she said-," Telienos trailed off and waited.

Reluctantly, Shepard thought back to that meeting in the garden. "She said she was impressed with my personality."

"The Thorian's only interest was to ensure its own survival. Moreover, you have invaded its home after a betrayal. To kill, was its priority. T'Sule cannot claim her action to put the link on you was influenced by the Thorian. It was her own desire that directed the action. She admitted it."

"No." Shepard shook her head and put up a hand to forestall Telienos. "She did not say the Thorian's influence impelled her to do it. She said that she was off balanced. She was looking for affirmation of a future, to survive instead of annihilation."

"The point remains. She consciously broke discipline and repeated it again on Illium."

"But she was ill," Shepard protested.

"Clearly, you feel something for her."

Shepard stared at Telienos speechlessly.

"A growing affection can create a bond. Respect, admiration, desire, sympathy. The first flush of subconscious awareness, can also lay the seed. Is it any of those?" asked Telienos.

"I don't-," Shepard began to say, then paused to consider. "I respect and admire all that she had done to help people and her effort in the war."

"Sympathy and empathy for her sufferings?"

"Those too."

"I understand," Telienos said gently. "You do not want to subject her to the authority of the Justicars because you believe she had cause and you have some feelings for her. But you are not certain if they are your own or hers. There are a few ways to find out."

More mind melding but then, what else was there? "I'm not ready for any more mind scrambling."

"No, you are not. Mind melding is not the only way. The association between the two of you is fleeting but it is enough to form mutual respect. To understand where you could go, you have to encourage further interactions."

Further interactions? Shepard mulled on that for a moment. "I formed a bond with Liara because we worked closely for many months on the mission to find Saren. If Shiala and I are to understand each other better, we have to communicate more regularly."

Telienos nodded. "Without the burden of guilt and suspicion."

"Back to square one then."

"If you want waters clear to see where you will swim," Telienos said evenly. "You cannot do that until you have control of what was. Why was there no psych evaluations after Eden Prime?"

Back to that again huh. Shepard leaned back in her chair to get comfortable.

"Dr Chakwas signed off on the initial medical examination but she wasn't happy with the scans taken after my collapse. She arranged for further evaluation but events were moving too fast. I was formally accepted as a Spectre and given command of the Normandy. That's two hot rods I had to juggle. Three when you count the hunt for Saren. Chakwas told me the appointment she made was postponed indefinitely by the brass. It's easy to guess why. The Alliance weren't going let the slightest dirt catch on the heels of the first human spectre."

"The doctor was not pleased."

"Hell, no, she wasn't." Shepard grimaced when she recalled the daily calls she received from Chakwas. "She knew I was not sleeping well, dreams and all that. I told her I was fine. Getting to Saren was the priority. I wasn't letting bad dreams get in the way."

"And after Feros?"

Shepard shrugged. "What'd you expect? But what could she do when taking down Saren became more urgent? What with Liara and her mind melds, then that incident with Shiala...no, she was not happy but I had only one target on my mind, nothing else was of consequence."

"After the Battle of the Citadel?"

"That was me, not the brass. After the revelations on Ilos, I knew I had to find a solution to the Reapers. Going for psych evaluations was going to cause delays. Delays I felt were unnecessary so I pressed for affirmation on the Reaper question from the Council and the Alliance. They gave me two options. One was to take up that psych appointment, they cited it as 'well deserved R and R'." Shepard crooked the fore and middle fingers of both hands to accentuate the last.

"The other was to clear out the Geth Heretic incursions. I knew they had backtracked on their initial stance. Neither one of them wanted to cause panic on 'tenuous' evidence'. The Alliance didn't want to have their recently burnished image marred. They saved the Council, there was blood to show for it. They were more interested in cashing in the favours."

It wasn't the nicest thing to say about her own people but it was the truth. There wasn't any point pretending otherwise.

"You chose to clean up the incursions."

"Damn it, they were trying to shut me up." Shepard raked a hand through her hair as she remembered her frustrations. "I was going to find out what I could. My own way while I was out there."

"And all this while, you were still having nightmares."

"Some."

"Were they the same as the ones you were having after Eden Prime?"

"Not the same." Shepard closed her eyes, trying to make sense of the images she could remember. "It was confusing."

"What did Dr Chakwas say?"

"She knew I wasn't going to change my mind, said her piece and sort of glowered at me whenever I dropped by the medbay."

It was really more of a stiff upper lip disapproval. That Chakwas hadn't tried to pull a medical order of disability on her had frankly been puzzling but she put it down to the doctor's discerning assessment on the urgency of the mission. The next time they meet, she would have to ask her but not before she scour for the best brandy there was to present it to her for her forbearance.

"Other than her, Liara was the other person who knew I was having problems."

"Because you were already having a relationship with her."

"Well." Shepard plucked at the bottom edge of her jacket. "Other than Chakwas, she was the only other person to ask how I feel. You know, someone who really wanted to listen, not doing her mind trick thing just to see what I was thinking. Maybe it's because she's not a doctor or part of the crew."

"You know that wasn't it."

"No, but at that time, I didn't know her that well. And after..," she fidgeted, "I guess she took off some of the pressure I was feeling because I had fewer nightmares."

"Fewer but they did not disappear completely," Telienos murmured thoughtfully after a negative shake of her head. "Several months later, you were officially declared missing in action after the the Normandy was destroyed by the Collectors. Was there any explanation as to why the Alliance didn't find your body on the nearby planet?"

"They did try but the Collectors already have their hirelings on the move after the Normandy was taken out. My body was found and removed long before the Alliance scrambled a couple of ships to check the distress call."

"Liara interrupted the transaction and handed you over to Cerberus instead."

"Yeah, she..." The sudden wave of emotions took Shepard by surprise. She blinked teary eyes. "She didn't give up on me. She worked fast, immediately after the Alliance insisted that I couldn't be found. She knew she couldn't help me. Cerberus offered a solution. She took it."

"Would you say that was a valid decision?"

"It's not for me to judge but under the circumstances if our places were switched, I would take it. Not because of our relationship but because if this person could find an answer to an impossible situation, I would take that chance."

Telienos sighed and rubbed her eyes. "It has been a long day."

If the matriarch could admit it, then she must be really exhausted. "Too long," Shepard agreed and waited expectantly.

"Before we end this session, I want to be clear on a certain point. After two years, you were awakened before you were fully healed due to a Shadow Broker agent's attack on the Cerberus laboratory where you were restored."

"Yes."

"Along with two surviving Cerberus agents, you went to another Cerberus outpost to see the Illusive Man after putting down the attack. During the interview, he explained why you were revived and 'suggested' a mission."

"Yeah, he knew how to pull my strings," Shepard said feelingly. "It's the science division that was in the charge of the revival project. Different from the rogue cell that kidnapped Jack and kept her in torturous conditions. The cells differed and are isolated. That's what Miranda said. It didn't change the fact that he was the mastermind. He was responsible for the projects, assassinations and deserved nothing less than a straight shot to the heart. I wanted to walk away but I couldn't. Not after I found evidence that what he said was true. He had the resources to back me up. If I go back to the Alliance, hell, they'd just lock me up in a lab just to find exactly why I was walking and breathing. That was nearly what happened when I returned to Earth after destroying the Collector ship. They threw everything but the kitchen sink at me."

"Cerberus did not think it was necessary to run any psych tests?"

Amusement bubbled out from Shepard. "Oh yes, they did. A ten minute answer and question session on who dun it on the shuttle ride to the outpost. To be honest, I was cranky, upset and suspicious. I was NOT pleased that Cerberus, not the Alliance, picked up the tab for me. Miranda wanted to run further evaluations but she had to settle for that ten minute assessment."

"The Illusive Man did not make any suggestions in that direction?"

"No but it was very clear he wanted me back. If there was the slightest sign of a problem, he would have acted."

"For the duration of your cooperation with Cerberus, did you experience the same nightmares and thereafter your return to Earth?"

"Some were different."

"More disorderly, disturbing."

"Yes."

"It did not cease and continued right through the war until now."

"What do you want me to say?" Shepard said grumpily and heaved a sigh when the matriarch looked askance at her.. "Yeah it hasn't stopped."

"Doctor Chakwas who signed up with Cerberus when she knew they were going to revive you, did not attempt to make any assessments."

"Other than the usual...I think." Shepard stared unseeing at the table. "She knew me well enough to know she wouldn't get anywhere. If I didn't tell her, she wasn't going to know but she probably guessed. Maybe she had EDI monitored my sleep patterns because after several days, she said she was putting me on a special diet." She chuckled as she recalled her bewilderment to the announcement. "I think she medicated the food. I find myself having occasional undisturbed sleep."

"But she knew medication wasn't the solution."

"No. She dropped hints that I should get Liara back but Liara had her own priorities..." The disappointment that welled up in her when Liara said she couldn't join her briefly swept through Shepard once more. "It wasn't the best time really. I was having too many issues with myself..."

"The questions you asked of yourself." Telienos closed her eyes, pulling up images she drew from the human's mind; fear, fury, disorientation, doubts whenever she looked in the mirror. "You have not spoken nor discussed it with her."

"I just didn't want to keep throwing the same things at her. We've been together through so much and survived them. It-," Restlessly, Shepard stood up and began to pace, "I just want to deal with it myself."

"All right, Shepard. We will end the session here and pick it up again the day after."

Her eyes snapped open. Had she fallen asleep? The soft chime of the door sounded. Turning her head, she let her eyes adjust to the darkness and saw that Liara's eyes were closed, her chest moving in the rhythm of sleep. As quietly as she could, she slipped out from under the blankets and went to the door. Palming it open, she held a finger to her lips when she saw Aethyta and stepped outside.

"What is it?" She thought the matriarch's expression rather grim and wondered what had happened.

"There is an urgent call for you from Alliance Command, a car is waiting to take you to high command headquarters." Aethyta turned away.

"What?"

Aethyta saw her glance at the bedroom door. "Effia will keep an eye on her. We have to go. Now."

After a look down at herself, Shepard was thankful she was not in her usual night attire which was nothing. She thought she might not be able to sleep so she had put on a shirt and trousers but she was without her boots. Aethyta was already moving down the stairs so she slipped back into the bedroom, grabbed a coat from the wardrobe and her boots. The matriarch was in the skycar when she reached the front doors. It moved off immediately after she climbed in and sped towards the city glowing with its unnatural light in the grey mist of dawn.

She was surprised to see Hiaras in the driver's seat. When had the commando returned from her mission? "What's the problem?"

"It's not good," Aethyta said softly and touched her lightly on the arm. "Someone launched an attack on your homeworld."

Shock held Shepard silent for a moment. "What?" she said in disbelief.

"I do not have all the details but High Command have been called into session a few hours ago and then alerted Assembly representatives."

"I don't believe it. How is it possible?" Shepard took a deep breath and emptied her mind of the questions tumbling about in her head to focus on the present. "There are three fleets..."

"The attack was launched after the Citadel Fleet left with the Citadel for the Charon Relay."

"They have moved it." She hadn't thought it possible.

"Yes. The Citadel will return to where it used to be. The operation is no secret but it is not clear how the assault was carried out." Aethyta tapped her arm to get her attention. "You will be called on to lead by the Alliance, are you ready?"

"What about Liara? The awakening?"

"Do you not trust me to look after her?" Aethyta eyed her severely.

"Of course, I do but..."

"We can only hope you will be there for the awakening but circumstances might dictate otherwise."

"I..."

"Shepard, you do what you have to do. Liara will understand," Aethyta said firmly.

Sagging back into her seat, Shepard shoved the problem of the awakening aside and tried to prepare herself what was to come. With little information to go on, it was pointless trying to work out the Cerberus angle. Looking out the window, she watched the city lights slide by. The skycar floated down to a nondescript building nestled among several tall towers and stopped outside a pair of large doors. The only signs it was an official building was the logo on the doors and the platoon of guards stationed along the walls and grounds. Alighting quickly, she waited for Aethyta and followed her into the building.

After several words with an officer who stepped up to them in the lobby, they were led down a winding corridor then into a lift that took them down several floors and to the entrance of a room. A QEC room, she noted. She was startled to see the crowd waiting for them. Zelenia who was standing to one side next to a much older matriarch nodded to her. The others she could vaguely put a name to; a few admirals, generals and Assembly representatives who sometimes dropped by the T'Soni estate to see Aethyta. All of them had an air of anxiety.

Aethyta beckoned to her. "Shepard." She indicated she should stand before the group, facing the QEC video pickup.

"Communications established with the Systems Alliance Command," someone said off to the side.

The inaudible murmur in the room stilled. The images of two men flickered into view. One she recognised as Admiral Langdon, the other was Admiral Khan, second in command of the SA.

"I am Admiral Khan, acting commander in chief of the Systems Alliance," Khan said without preamble.

Acting? A chill went down Shepard's back. What happened to Hackett? Her eyes anxiously sought out Langdon's, unable to voice the question. As if he knew what she was asking, his head moved in an imperceptible shake. She relaxed slightly.

The older matriarch beside Zelenia, military carriage evident in her posture, stepped forward. "Greetings, Admiral. I am Commandant T'Annor, commander of the Thessian Military Forces."

"Commandant T'Annor." Khan gave her a slight bow. "The current crisis that have arisen from a recent attack upon our homeworld revealed several disturbing developments that must be shared."

"Please."

"As you all know, Project Ardones was carried out successfully. During preparations for this project, we deployed additional security measures to ensure a smooth operation. It was at this time it was discovered the mass of the debris field did not correlate with the daily trajectory surveillance scan data. We could only conjecture additional mass was added covertly over the past few years by an unknown faction. Attempts to get more details and identify the suspicious objects within the debris field failed. The Council and the Citadel Fleet were alerted to this new development. It was agreed the project should continue. In accordance with the Alliance's proposal, part of the Citadel Fleet was detached to provide additional defense support. Alliance Home and First Fleet elements were deployed to protect the enclaves from any assault from space. By the time Project Ardones was in effect, every effort was made to create plausible resolutions to an impending attack."

"How many ships did you detach to investigate the debris field?" someone asked behind Shepard.

"We sent only the Normandy," Langdon said. "Because of the unique A.I. core onboard, we felt there would be less chance of triggering a response from whatever was hidden in the field."

Khan continued. "The attack was launched towards Earth in three waves that comprised of short range torpedoes of minimum yield. The objective was to destroy any detritus to clear the path for the latter waves which were launched soon after. At the first visible sign of the assault, TI forces that have been contained in two zones began their attack on ground fortifications. We could only assume they knew about the offensive. The TI assault was unprecedented in terms of brutality equal to the Reaper War." There was a disturbed stir in the room that settled down quickly as he continued. "The fourth wave of missiles that followed up after are unprecedented. They penetrated through the hulls of fleet elements stationed over the enclaves..."

"Penetrated?" repeated someone in confusion.

"They did not explode upon contact with the ships but continued through to their programmed targets which were the enclaves. Due to the high level of threat, the populace was evacuated to underground shelters but we-," he sighed, "could not have predicted this type of weaponry. The missiles made contact at ground level and continued downwards for a kilometer before detonating."

"Wait, are you saying they went underground?!"

"Yes, I did."

"How many missiles were launched?" asked Shepard.

"Several hundred. Most of our ground forces and TI units were killed. The strikes on the enclaves were precise, we suspect due to sympathetic operatives working through a merchant supplier. Several also penetrated the underground shelters but fortunately no casualties were incurred. There might have been more loses. However, an agent managed to arrive in time to provide the codes to destroy the missile platforms."

Khan paused. Langdon picked up the thread.

"The agent confirmed the attack was carried out by Cerberus. That they have weaponry capabilities we have not heard of. They might also have the ability to either persuade or compel the TI to carry out their bidding." A shiver swept through the room. "There is also another disturbing development concerning the disappearance of defunct warships that were supposed to have been scrapped. We now believe that Cerberus agents diverted and converted these ships for their own purposes. We have elicited the aid of the Military Council to determine the exact number and composition of the missing ships. A meeting will convene on the Citadel to discuss this issue and determine the action to be carried out to neutralize this threat."

"What do you propose to counter the threat, Admiral?" T'Annor said loudly over the hum of anxious discussions that broke out.

"Although Cerberus have targeted Earth in this instance, there is a chance that they would turn their attention to other worlds. This new weaponry of theirs have been devastating. We fear they might have more with deeper capabilities, missiles that might even penetrate to the core of a planet." Shocked silence greeted this statement. "They might have already deployed them, hidden in ways we may not be able to discover at this time. Therefore, we are appealing for support to eradicate this threat once and for all. Cerberus must be uprooted totally."

T'Annor glanced around the room; everyone waited for her answer. "Admiral, we do not have the resources we once have." A sigh went up. "But we will send what we can." Heads nodded.

"Captain Shepard." Khan turned to her.

"Sir." She came to attention.

"We need you now more than ever. There is an urgent matter we would like you to see to."

"Sir, I'm at your disposal."

"I'm glad to hear it. We have sent the Normandy to pick you up, she'll arrive sometime in a few hours."

"I'll be ready. Sir-," she held up a hand when he was about to turn away. "What has happened to Admiral Hackett?"

"Admiral Hackett was injured during the attack but will recover in a few days. We'll be seeing you, Shepard," he nodded to her.

"Sir."