Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended
Author's note: sorry, I'm late. It's been a looooong day.
"I'm going crazy." Isabelle muttered, lashing her whip on the dummy right in front of her. The whip curled around its neck and when she sharply pulled at it, the dummy's head soundlessly fell down.
"Izzy, we need those dummies, you know." Simon quietly breathed behind her, sitting down on the floor in the training room. It had been an hour since Kaelie came back telling them Alec and Magnus were now in the Unseelie Court and even though in the beginning they just stayed all together, waiting for news, as the time went by they all grew restless to the point Isabelle felt the need to work off some steam.
"I don't know how you can be so calm." She accused, lashing her whip again. "My brother is down in that hellhole and you're freaking relaxed!"
Simon sighed standing up and when Isabelle felt his arms around her waist and his solid body behind her, she stiffened.
"I'm not relaxed." He whispered in her ear. "I'm scared, just like you are. And I'm nervous and I'm thinking about all the kind of stuff that could go wrong—" He strengthened his hold on her when he felt she was trying to get out of his embrace. "But Alec was the best choice and you know that. He's the most quiet person I know, he's good at keeping his cool and you need to be calm when bargaining with the Fair Folk. Magnus is with him and he won't let anything happen to either of them. I promise you."
"I should have gone with him." She murmured, leaning her head on his shoulder. She stopped struggling and put her hands on his. "I can't stand being here and just waiting."
"I know." He kissed her temple and sighed. "Waiting is always the hardest part. But they'll be back and they'll have the answer we seek. And then we'll go down and get Will back."
"If only we could just jump to that part, right?" She smiled and closed her eyes. "I never thought I would feel that way, but the Institute is so empty since William's gone."
"Babies do that." Simon quietly laughed, resting his head on her shoulder. "They fill your life with something you never realised you were missing and then you ask yourself how you could have lived to that day without them."
Isabelle stilled again and then intertwined their fingers. "You know... I never thought about children. I mean, even now that the Academy is open again and we're actively recruiting mundanes to turn with the Mortal Cup, we're still definitely short of Shadowhunters. So I always knew one day I would become a mother, that's what is expected of me. But I never really thought about it. And when William was born, I asked myself if I would be capable of caring for him, loving him the way Clary and Jace did, put him at the centre of my world. Then when he was gone—"
She turned around, still keeping their fingers joined. "I vowed I would never have children."
She felt Simon go as still as a statue and she raised her dark gaze to him. "It was too painful. To think about devoting my life to someone who could be so easily taken away from me—it was unbearable. I saw what it did to my brother and Clary. I saw the life being sucked out of them, their eyes go empty. It was so horrible, it reminded me about when we lost Max."
"Oh Izzy—" Simon gently gathered her in his arms, crossing his hands on her back. "You should have told me."
"I didn't know how." She whispered in his chest. "I thought you wouldn't understand, that you would be angry."
He caressed her soft hair, inhaling her scent. Sometimes he felt so privileged that Isabelle trusted him enough to allow him to see her in her weakest moments: it was something she reserved only for her family, to the outside world she was the unstoppable Isabelle Lightwood, the fierce Shadowhunter goddess with a heart made of pure steel and flame.
"I think it's natural." He answered. "When you lose someone, when you experience heartbreak, you lose something of yourself as well. And then you're so scared you don't ever want to feel that way again."
He disengaged from the embrace and cupped her face in his hands, looking at her beautiful eyes. "But life goes on, you know? Do you remember when we first knew about Tessa? When she told us about Will Herondale and about her life with him? She must have been heartbroken when he died, and yet now she's with Jem, loving him, living her life with him. One day she'll lose him too and she'll be heartbroken again, but this hasn't stopped her from wanting him now." He laughed a bit, tracing his thumbs on her cheeks. "Have you ever heard about that say: 'it's better to love and lose than to never love?' I suppose that's it."
"That easy?" She weakly smiled.
"That easy." He confirmed. Then, as usual, he got lost in her gaze, those eyes shining like dark diamonds, and he caressed her while leaning down to plant a sweet kiss on her lips. She sighed in his mouth and closed her arms behind his neck, pulling him to her until his hands shifted on her bottom lifting her up and her legs locked around his waist. The kiss stopped being soft and some moments later Simon left her lips, his breaths heavy and fast.
"Is the door closed, milady?"
"Locked, Lord Montgomery." She smiled.
"Good."
Back in the library Clary was sitting down, trying without success to read a book while Jace was sitting beside her, absently caressing her back and Kaelie was in the far corner of the table, looking anywhere but at them. As much as she knew her and Jace were never meant to be, it was a bit painful to watch him with Clary, to witness the absolute adoration in his eyes when he looked at her. Even now that they weren't talking or gazing at each other, he seemed unable to stop touching her or keeping her close.
Clary suddenly started, the blood leaving her face: her phone was ringing, buzzing in the pocket of her jeans. She knew who it was but she had to answer anyway. As always.
Jace and Kaelie went still and Clary took a deep breath, standing up before taking the phone out.
"What." She coldly said, without any greeting.
"Where the fuck are you." Jiliel asked, equally cold.
"I'm at the Institute."
"Come back now."
The hold on her phone tightened as Clary bit her lip almost enough to draw blood. "I can't. Not tonight."
"Don't push it, Clary. Was the last lesson not enough for you?" His voice was full of threat, as cold as ice.
"I told you I can't. I was invited to stay the night and I couldn't refuse."
"And who the fuck gave you permission? You should know by now, sweetheart: you are not free to make your own decisions."
"Your sister." Clary played her card, just like they had previously planned. They knew this would happen but Jace had been adamant in not allowing her back to her apartment, even risking their cover to be destroyed. He just wouldn't let her near Jiliel again, not after what he did last time. When Kaelie was told about the beating, she was the one who suggested they used her as excuse for Clary staying at the Institute: when Clary and Jace were concerned, Kaelie had the same weight of Jiliel in calling the shots.
"Is she there?" He asked after a moment of silence. "Put her on the phone."
The fairy nodded, turning around and putting the phone to her ear just as Jace took Clary's hand in his own. He hated what he was seeing: Clary had always been a strong woman, even when they first met and she found herself thrown in a world she knew nothing about. She was brave, she was strong willed, she never hesitated. This woman? She was so different. After the breakdown, everything had come to the surface, crushing her beneath its weight: the grief of losing her only son, the pain in being torn apart from Jace, the abuse by Jiliel, turned her into something he didn't want to acknowledge. She jumped at every noise, she stiffened every time someone touched her and he could feel she was desperate to hold his hand but at the same time she wanted to pull away and hide somewhere far from him. Jiliel destroyed her. It would take a long time to heal her, and he didn't even know if it was possible: would she ever return to her former self? Would they have their family back or was it forever shattered? Were they going to save William only to lose Clary in the process? What if she never overcame what Jiliel did to her?
Jace hated feeling powerless but short of staying close to Clary and make her feel loved and cared for, there was nothing else he could do right in that moment. They needed to get Will back first, so at least that piece of her heart would find relief. And then he would do anything, anything, to make her heal.
"Yes, it was me." Kaelie was saying, her back turned on them. Her voice had changed, now it was as cold as her brother's but her fingers were white with the strength she was holding the phone. "I'm staying for the night as well." A pause. A long moment of silence, then Kaelie's shoulders stiffened and her whole figure went still. "Because I want to. I think it will be fun to sleep here with Jace, with Clary just a few doors down the hall. Well, fun for me."
Jace heard Clary sharply hold her breath and rubbed soothing circles on her back with his free hand. He knew what Kaelie was doing, she was trying to impersonate the perfect tormentor, like the Seelie Queen wanted. But he could see how much it was costing her, she looked ready to be sick.
"Besides, I know about your little "lesson" the other night." Kaelie took a deep breath and continued. "No, she didn't need to tell me, I saw it written all over her face. The look of fear in her eyes is priceless and I know what that means. I recognise your signature when I see it, brother."
Jace could bet Jiliel was laughing on the other side. The bastard.
"Yes, really. But I would encourage you not to do it again. Clary didn't show up yesterday and the Lightwoods noticed her absence. I suppose it took her two days to recover from what you did to her and that's not wise. What if she was called to a Council meeting? You know the Queen doesn't want her to miss anything."
They talked for a few more minutes before Kaelie put the phone down, sighing. Then she turned to them. "It won't last, you know. I can manage to give you a break for a night, maybe two, but no more or Jiliel will start asking questions."
"Clary is not going back to that apartment." Jace said, gritting his teeth.
"I will, if that's what it takes." It was no more than a whisper but Clary's eyes were resolute.
"We'll come up with something." Kaelie waved her hand before Jace could reply. "But we need to act quick before he starts suspecting something is off. We don't have much time."
"All that matters is that we manage to save William." Clary started pacing around, apparently restless. "I don't care how much Jiliel beats me, I just want my son back. Then we can warn the Clave and they'll put an end to the war before it even starts."
"We need to come up with a plan for that." Jace leaned back on a table. "We can't just reveal everything or you'll be punished. Maybe even killed."
"I accepted that a long time ago, Jace." Clary smiled, her lips curling into a sad curve. "They could throw me in the Silent City's prison or they could strip me of my Marks and I'll be back to being a mundane. If I survive. Sometimes I think it would be even better for me... go back to where I started."
"You can't be serious." His eyes widened. "You would lose everyone, you know it's against the Law to keep contact with a Shadowhunter who got turned into a mundane. I would follow you with Will of course, but—"
"Absolutely not!" Clary interrupted him with a shocked expression. "Don't even think about that. Shadowhunting is your life, it always has been. It's who you are, Jace."
He sighed, walking to her and putting his hands on her shoulders. "Clary, you're not the only one who thought about this for a long time. I always knew it as well. Wherever you go, I go too, be it the jail or the mundane life. I don't care about the Shadow World if you're not in it. You are my life, Clary. You and Will."
"But Izzy... Alec..."
"I would miss my family of course. My parabatai. But you're the one thing I can't live without, even if it means giving up everything else."
She was about to reply when Kaelie sighed behind them. It was both a resigned sound and an exasperated one and they turned to her in surprise. "Nothing of this will be necessary. I'll be the one relying the informations, so Clary won't be charged with treason."
Dead silence met her statement and she would have laughed if the situation wasn't so serious. Kaelie crossed her arms on her chest and looked at them shaking her head. "Do you really think that I would let any of you be punished for something that was outside your control? The moment I decided to help you was the one I knew I would hand myself over to the Clave, whatever the cost."
"You don't know what you're saying." Clary whispered, suddenly pale. "They will likely just strip my Marks and revert me back to a mundane because I'm a Shadowhunter and I was the one who killed Sebastian years ago, but you? A Downworlder plotting against us? And a fairy, on top of that? Kaelie, they'll kill you."
"Well, you didn't seem to care that much earlier today." She smiled to take some bite off her sentence and then sighed. "Look, I know where this is going. But the truth is, I've not been at peace with myself since this whole story started. I have the chance to make this right and I'm going to take it."
"She's right." Jace said, surprising them both. "She's the one who should tell the Clave about the war."
"But Jace!" Clary was astonished.
"I'm not saying we'll let her die, Clary." Kaelie looked at him raising her eyebrow and he continued. "Look, this is the best plan. Kaelie can tell the Clave about Will's abduction and she can tell them she worked with us since then to try and save him and to find out the details of the attack. After all she's just a court lady, not a spy, so it won't be hard to persuade them it took her a long time to find everything out."
"What if they decide to question us with the Mortal Sword?" Clary asked frowning.
"There's no reason they would," Jace answered running a hand through his hair. "A self confessed fairy, a war, an abduction... we're the victims Clary, not the culprits. They will believe us, probably just because we're Shadowhunters and this whole plot is a Fey one. Besides, we'll get rid of every evidence."
Jace turned to Kaelie. "Do you know where the Queen keeps the reports from Clary?"
"I'm not sure," she shook her head. "But I guess in her room. She wouldn't take them to the throne room, where people have access."
"Alright." Jace nodded and his voice took a tone Clary knew very well: this was strategic Jace, the one who devised plans and thought his way through everything. Sometimes she compared him to a general giving his troops his orders and then staying on the front lines to ensure his flawless strategy would be carried on. "I need you to draw a map of the Court, to devise the fastest path to the Queen's room and to tell me the location of that trap door and how to open it. I'm sure it's where she'll retreat when we attack, because she thinks nobody knows about its existence. She'll carry William with her, she'll want to keep him close to her daughter. When we get there, we'll search the room for the reports and we'll destroy them so nobody can link Clary to this whole story."
Kaelie paled and turned her back to them, clenching her fists so hard she felt her nails biting her palms. "You're counting on my brother and my Queen to not survive the attack. They are the ones who could expose Clary and you know they will, if they are captured. You're going to kill them."
There was a long moment of silence before Clary's cold voice filled it. "The Queen kidnapped my son and tortured us. Jiliel—you know what he did to me. You always knew it would come down to this, Kaelie. There's no way you could not have known."
"It's just—" the fairy sighed, her head low. Yes she knew, they were right. The Queen's demise was certain from the moment she decided to help Jace because the Clave would have her executed; she felt little remorse for that because it was actually the Queen's acts that led her down that path and she was taking the whole Fey race with her. But her brother? He was ruthless, he was cruel, he was evil and he probably would kill her as soon as he knew about her betrayal, but he was family. Somehow, somewhere in her heart, she hoped he could just disappear, go live somewhere else, maybe exiled but still alive. And yet she knew that if somebody did to her what Jiliel did to Clary, she would hunt him down as well.
Jace said nothing but deep inside he was worried. What if Kaelie decided to back down now? He couldn't allow Clary to hand herself over to the Clave, to face the consequences of that cruel blackmailing. And yet he could understand why Kaelie was hesitating: was that any different from him almost following Valentine at Renwick's? Family ties could cloud your judgement, make you weak. And pushing her now could mean making her run.
Silence stretched as time passed and the pixie never moved, never talked, her eyes fixed on the floor. Jace and Clary waited close together, using every ounce of their Shadowhunter training not to panic and at last Kaelie moved without a word grabbing a pen and some paper from the table and starting drawing the map they wanted with short, neat lines. Nobody talked until the door opened again letting Simon and Isabelle in but neither of them interrupted the silence, sensing the tense atmosphere.
In the end, just when Kaelie was completing her map, her teeth gritted together so much that her jaw was hurting from the effort, the library door opened once more and Magnus came in with Alec.
Everybody turned to them, relief clearly written on their faces but it froze when they saw the fiery, furious spark in Alec's eyes.
"It's done," the Shadowhunter said. "It's time to get William back."